Need wisdom....and prayers for the right decision...

[kzacarkim]

Hi, I've asked a couple of questions on this forum before, and would love to hear the wisdom of you experienced moms and homeschoolers...
Here's what we are doing right now. I am doing LHFHG with my 5 yo ds, my 3 yo ds listens out, colors, scribbles, etc. We are loving HOD.... this is truly a blessing from God in our lives.... even before I had kids I prayed that they would be taught in the way of the Lord, and I prayed that I would be the one to take care of them. I was a babysitter while I was on college, and I would take care of kids from breakfast to bedtime... sometimes the kids only really saw the parents on weekends and that really made me sad... not something I would want for my kids. Ok... I graduated and have been working as an RN for 5 years... and my husband has been praying for me to stay at home.... his prayers were answered in a way... I'm pregnant with my third child- a girl this time- but I have short cervix so I had to stop working and was put on bed rest (as much bed rest I can do with 2 boys). And guess what? I'm loving staying home!!! I am having some very precious moments with my kids, I'm much more patient and rested, I can see the difference in their lives and behavior too! Now, I'm due in June, and because I've used all my FMLA, I'll be on medical leave until the dr. says I'm ok to work again.... That will put me going back to work at 6 to 8 weeks postpartum. My schedule is not too bad. I usually work 3 12hr shifts per week, and work every other weekend. But I tell you I'm very tired after my shift because I work in a very busy hospital and I am on my feet the whole day. Honestly I'm dreading going back to work, because I'll have a breastfeeding baby eating around the clock, my husband is going to have to readjust his schedule to fit mine, I'll be missing church 2 Sundays a month, and I'll have fewer days to homeschool..... there is so much to do at home after my 3 shifts.
Sorry for the long post, I love my job, and I don't want to lose my skills as a nurse, but at the same time my heart is really at home. For the record, we really need both our incomes right now, so we would need to make major adjustments in our budget if I were to stay home full time.....
I'll have to make a decision soon, so I'm asking for prayers, insight from working moms, and just any thought is really appreciated!!!!
Thank you so much!
Karla

[4Hispraise]

Hi Karla! Just prayed for wisdom for you and your dh in this situation. And asked the Lord to protect your little one. May He make His will for your family clear!

I do work - not nearly as much as you, and know that every job is so different, as is every family! The Lord has a unique plan for each of us. I trust that He will lead you to what is best for you all. And...I am sure that some of the other women will share their experiences.

[Kathleen]

Karla,

Praying for you and your husband as you bring this big decision before the Lord! I'm so thankful that He promises to give wisdom to all who ask! (Sometimes I find myself wishing that He could just VERY clearly spell the answer out in the sky...on the side of the house...somewhere so I could know I was doing what was best before I moved.) But, I know that He loves to have us walking step by step in faith with Him, and He doesn't want us to forget how very much we need Him.

Kathleen

[kzacarkim]

Thank you Kathleen and 4hispraise... I really appreciate the prayers and encouragement...Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith... we get to trust too much on jobs and forget to trust ultimately in God for His provision.

[momofgreatones]

Hi Karla,

I feel for your difficult decision. Perhaps you could change to a part-time schedule, and get the benefits both ways? I am an RN as well, but haven't been employed since 12 years ago. I've known other RN's who had worked full-time for a while and were successful in switching their hours to part-time. Just a thought!

[Heather4Him]

Praying for you and your little one!

[water2wine]

Praying for your decision. I made a very "illogical" decision to give up the work that took me out of the house. It was at a time we needed the money and I have to say that money has not gotten much better. But I have seen clearly that it was His will and seen Him work in ways and areas that I can see now I clearly was in His way working outside the home for our family. It is not always the result that dictates is it the right thing but clearly hearing God that shows you the way to go. Pray that He would clearly show you the way He has for you. I have found with things like this He is very faithful to show us what is His will. It may not always be what seems logical to us. Praying He gives you peace and calmness in His will for your family.

[ForHisGlory]

Karla,

I will say a prayer for you and your husband. This is a difficult decision--to stay home fulltime or not. I am going to share my testimony (sort of...in an abbreviated manner). I was a fulltime career momma working at a great corporation with a bright future, and a salary higher than my husband's military pay. When we received orders to transfer to our next duty station, we decided that I would stay home. I was NOT a strong Christian at this point, and had a very hard time adjusting to being at home. I wanted NOTHING to do with homeschooling, and had a hard, harsh heart. Fast forward a couple of years (2008) and I grew to love the Lord more and more, my husband more and more, and my life at home with my boys. Through having to make a few financial sacrifices, I grew more humble and that's when my walk really grew with the Lord! Now I'm not saying that you need to be humbled, but I sure did, and I knew that never would have happened with me climbing the corporate ladder, being filled with pride. I can say that I know find my identity completely in the Lord, and being a stay at home wife and mom, and homeschooling momma is fanstatic!

Tragically, we lost our oldest son Ethan just 10 months ago. Had I not homeschooled and stayed home, I would have lost precious years, months, days, hours etc. I write this not to make you feel guilty for working. I just wanted to share my experience.

If staying home fulltime is the Lord's will, it will happen one way or another! Financially, we have become more smart with what we spend, and we actually have less debt now that we are on one income versus two incomes. Another thing to consider is the tax breacket you are currently in. With two incomes, sometimes you are put into a higher bracket and paying in, rather than receiving a refund.

I pray that you and your husband do what glorifies Him!

With love and prayers...

[davisfam7]

Karla,
I can totally emphathize with your situation. I have 5 kids and when I had baby number 3 I finally went down to part time. I, too, am an RN in a busy city hospital. When I was working full-time I worked almost every Friday-Saturday-Sunday nights so we did not have to use day care. When I went part-time I worked days Saturday-Sunday one weekedend then Saturday the next, all 12 hour shifts. I did this for years. About three years ago I finally went to PRN and I work 12 hours every Saturday. We needed both incomes as well, but I started to get really creative with our money and our savings so I could work myself out of a job! My husband joked that we couldn't have anymore kids because our expenses went up but our income went down with each one. We have made lifestyle changes, driving our vehicles until they die, living in a small house with a small (but nice and stress free) payment. Our three boys share a room and our two girls share a room. My husband and I have been very blessed in trusting in God to provide. We have done more with less in so many ways it is truly mind boggeling! I will be praying for you and your sweet kiddos that some how with God's guiding you will find a way. I have enjoyed being able to be home through the week with my kids, and I can even still pick up extra shifts if and when we need them. Praying for wisdom and guidence for you and your husband as you look at what is best for your family.

Blessings
~Sarah~

[tnahid]

Hi Karla,

Thank you for sharing, and I am privileged to pray for you in this decision. Blessings to you!

You wrote: "and my husband has been praying for me to stay at home...." Is this something that your husband has been asking you to do? Has he been asking you to stay home? Does he know that your income is necessary or does he think you all can make it on just his income?

If your heart's desire is to be at home, might you possibly be able to reduce your hours to working part-time? Like maybe 1 shift a week, or at the most 2? Weaning your hours down this way may be a better way to reduce than just quitting all at once. You might enjoy the outlet of ministering to others as a nurse on one night a week, while still earning a little extra income to help your family as well. Then you might not be too overwhelmed by it, and your children could spend good one on one time with Daddy while you are away.

I volunteer at a crisis-pregnancy shelter one afternoon a week, or every other week, as a counselor, and I really love going there and doing that. I feel like I am still using the gifts and talents that my Father has given me to reach out to my community as well. I pray that you find the perfect fit for you, but I say that if your husband is supportive of your leaving, by all means, trust him and ultimately trust Jesus to be there with you all the way. He knows exactly what you need!

Blessings!

[kzacarkim]

Hello, Monique, Heather, water2wine, Sarah, Tina, and Shannon... wow!!! Such great advices!!! I feel a little emotional now.... thank you so much to take the time to share your wisdom and stories with me. Shannon... I'm so sorry for your loss.... I'm so glad you had the time to spend with Ethan and build wonderful memories before he left....
Reflecting on what you guys said, I'm feeling led to reduce my hours to 1 or 2 days a week... I really love working with my patients... I feel I can be a blessing on their lives...My husband really wants me to be home, but he would be ok with part-time work, as you're right, that will give him some time alone with the kids... I was talking to my manager and she told me that because of the long time I would be away she could not guarantee the same position, hours, even though I wouldn't lose my job. I guess I will look at it as a blessing and pray that good will provide a situation that works for our family. So I will just rest, and trust in God to lead us. I pray for each one of your families too, that God will keep blessing each one of you!
Thank you so much!

[KristinBeth]

Adding my prayers for your family! It's such a big decision!

I know it can be hard to make a big financial adjustment. When my husband and I had our first daughter, I was making almost 50% of our income and we had just completed renovations on our dream home. We decided I should be at home to minimize the weeping that was going on as I dropped my precious baby daughter off to spend the next 11 hours of each weekday with her grandma. I went to part time and we sold our house. Part time helped us with the transition, but I quit altogether when I had my second daughter. I'm only telling you this to say that I know what a big change it can be, and a lot of adjustments have to be made. But I feel that our family has been blessed by it. I've grown as a Christian, I've lost so much of my worldly focus being out of the corporate environment and all that goes along with it. You have a different work environment, one in which you can help others, so it's not the same as where I came from. But don't ignore the Lord's leading in this. And if your husband desires that you stay home, you may want to defer to his heart and leadership.

Wishing you all the best! Praying that you will be blessed no matter what you decide!