Need Encouragement!

[happy@home]

Ladies,

You are such a wonderful group of ladies! Always so eager to encourage one another!! You truly are a blessing to all who read this board.

I have wanted to pour out my heart to you ladies for several weeks now, but as this is OT I hesitated. But I just need a little encouragement! (And honestly have no where else to turn aside from dh.)

Everything is going great with HOD!! That is not where I need the encouragement! If only everything in life were so easy.

My oldest dd attends ps which just seems to be getting worse each year. I wanted to send her to a Christian school last year and she and I talked about it. Not that I can afford it - but I just felt the Lord prodding me about it. Last year I told dd that it was her choice (mistake, I know ) and so she chose to stay in ps.

The Lord has spent the last school year prodding me again to pull her out of ps. We have a Christian school in town which is very small (about 6-10 students in each of the upper grades) that she simply does not want to attend. We have another one about 30 minutes away that is larger and averages 20 students per grade in high school.

I had a long talk with dd last weekend and told her that I truly believe the Lord is instructing me to pull her out of ps. She does not want to, but is not being difficult about it. The middle school she attends has about 730 students for just 7th and 8th grade. So she is scared to death to go somewhere that only has about 350 students K-12. Which personally I think is a postive not a negative, but then again I'm not 13!

She has toured the Christian school, met the guidance counselor, "shadowed" a student for half a day, attended an orientation for high school with the current 8th graders. She still doesn't want to go, but I think she will love it once she gets settled. She is just naturally nervous about leaving her friends and starting over. She has always attended ps.

I am sorry this is so long!

Let me be clear that my need for encouragement is not about dd's behavior/response to the move. She is a wonderful daughter and has not been disrespectful about this so far. PTL! My encouragement is about the changes that will take place - an hour's drive twice a day (school starts at 7:30 ) and the tuition!! We were also told that this particular school did have a lot of rich kids that were sent there for the prestige and treated other children awful! DD said though that the girls in her grade (all 4 of them ) were very nice to her.

I guess I am just lacking a little in my faith and scared about committing to such a HUGE tuition. I know that if the Lord asks you to do something that He will provide all the resources!!

If you have read this far, THANK YOU!!

I feel a little better just getting all that off my chest!! Thanks for "listening". Please pray that God will give me a peace in my heart that we are enrolling in the school He wants dd to go. And by chance that this isn't the right move that He will make that CRYSTAL CLEAR and Soon!!

Thanks again,

Love and Blessings to you all!!

[faith0428]

Praying for your peace and clear direction. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

I know the sacrifice might be difficult, but knowing it is God's will makes it easier. The hardest part for me is determining God's will. Last year I struggled with where my daughter should go for Kindergarten. At the time, I didn't feel able to homeschool, public school was not an option for us, and private school was so expensive that it didn't seem possible. Thankfully, the Lord answered my prayers and lead us to a 3 day/week kindergarten that was much less expensive than the other private schools in our area. I had such a feeling of peace about it and I didn't even cry on her first day of school. She's always been home with me, so I was sure I would get emotional, but I completely felt the Lord's peace about it. I admit, it completely wore me out physically taking her back and forth to school though. It was a 25 minute drive one way and I had to get my 4 year old, less than 2 year old, and baby all ready and loaded up each time too. And financially it was a little of a strain too, especially since gas prices were so high at the time. I have absolutely no regrets though, and the sacrifices pale in comparison to the stress I would've felt if I had not listened to God's will.

Just curious, have you visited the smaller school too? Even though it might not sound as appealing to your daughter as the larger school, it still might be a nice option. From personal experience growing up, I have been homeschooled, gone to several sizes of private schools (one had only 3 kids in my grade), and I also went to public school. I know times have changed, but for me there was a nice feeling of being in a small school setting.

I'll be praying for you as you make this difficult decision and that you will find the peace of God that transcends all understanding.

[dale1088]

Will be praying for you. This has to be tough. I am so terrified of our local middle and high schools that I can't imagine now having to put my dc there, but if that was God's will, I would do it. And the tuition for private is ...just... impossible.

I have thought of something along the lines of a university model school or one day academy type of thing for high school. Do you have these options in your area? Still expensive, but a fraction of the cost of private school.

Have you considered homeschooling? I'm sorry if I don't know the whole story as to why she's in ps and your others are hs. I have many women in my local group who are committed to hs through high school and have done so very successfully.

{{{HUGS}}} From one mom to another who is trying to do the right thing for her daughter through seeking God's will!

[spidermansmum]

praying for you

[happy@home]

Thank you, ladies, for your encouragement and your prayers.

Just curious, have you visited the smaller school too? Even though it might not sound as appealing to your daughter as the larger school, it still might be a nice option. From personal experience growing up, I have been homeschooled, gone to several sizes of private schools (one had only 3 kids in my grade), and I also went to public school. I know times have changed, but for me there was a nice feeling of being in a small school setting.

I haven't visited the smaller school, I have talked to them on the phone. My husband thinks it is too small and feels she is better off in the larger one. But the tuition is half the cost of the larger one and the distance is about 1/3 as far. Maybe dh will reconsider looking at it?

Have you considered homeschooling? I'm sorry if I don't know the whole story as to why she's in ps and your others are hs. I have many women in my local group who are committed to hs through high school and have done so very successfully.

{{{HUGS}}} From one mom to another who is trying to do the right thing for her daughter through seeking God's will!

The reason that oldest dd is in ps while the younger dc are hs is because my oldest dd's father and I are divorced. He left us when she was barely 5 yo. He has "denounced God" and has been arrested 5 times in the last 6 years for DUI (the last time dd was with him ). I know that he is probably going to take me to court over the Christian school issue which will be costly itself. My lawyer has assured me that our particular judge won't make me move her back to ps, but I am pretty sure the courts wouldn't support my hs'ing especially since she has always been in ps.

Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement!

[holyhart]

H@H,

I will be praying for you. This is difficult, but trust that the Lord will lead you.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not fear nor be dismayed for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go! ~Joshua 1:9

[MainelyJen]

If you are 100% positive in this situation that homeschooling is not an option, then you can move forward with your private school plan and pray for contentment. I am also divorced, but mercifully I have complete custody and we have no contact with ex-dh. My ex, while sober for our seven-year marriage, is also an alcoholic who returned to drink as soon as he left us. I can only imagine your struggles in this situation. So, my prayer for you will be peace with whatever decision you make.

In all honesty, you are asking your daughter to make a huge change, so do consider her wishes as much as possible in this decision. In terms of your stress (driving and tuition $), you should give the smaller school a good look before discounting them. The commute will get tiresome pretty quickly, I would imagine. Be sure you are factoring gas as well as wear on the car plus your time into the total cost of this education.

My own conviction is that high school is the time when a Christian education matters most, be it homeschool or private. I can't even envision circumstances severe enough that I would put my kids in our public high school, but I would turn to a Christian school if I had to. My own public high school experience was a real destruction to my soul, and I want more for my children. I applaud your love and commitment for your daughter, and I just know you'll work this all out in a way that benefits her for the rest of her life!

Have you sought out the school's counselor for a private talk on how to help her make the transition? Are there classes/opportunities there you can really get her excited about?

[happy@home]

If you are 100% positive in this situation that homeschooling is not an option, then you can move forward with your private school plan and pray for contentment. I am also divorced, but mercifully I have complete custody and we have no contact with ex-dh. My ex, while sober for our seven-year marriage, is also an alcoholic who returned to drink as soon as he left us. I can only imagine your struggles in this situation. So, my prayer for you will be peace with whatever decision you make.

My ex never drank during our nine-year marriage, but turned to alcohol a year or so later. I am not sure when he decided to "denounce God". In KY you have basically have joint custody. My dd is seeing her dad on a weekly basis again after a 4-month period when I refused to let her go because she was with him during his arrest. (His mother blamed my poor dd )

In all honesty, you are asking your daughter to make a huge change, so do consider her wishes as much as possible in this decision. In terms of your stress (driving and tuition $), you should give the smaller school a good look before discounting them. The commute will get tiresome pretty quickly, I would imagine. Be sure you are factoring gas as well as wear on the car plus your time into the total cost of this education.

My dd has already said that she DOES NOT want to go to the smaller school. That is why my husband said that even though the cost is greater and the distance is farther he feels that we should let her choose which school she is willing to go to. I have told dd that even though I expect her to make the move, do her best, and not be sullen or disrespectful; I understand this is going to be difficult for her and that tears are perfectly o.k.)

Have you sought out the school's counselor for a private talk on how to help her make the transition? Are there classes/opportunities there you can really get her excited about?

We have already talked to the counselor at the Christian school and I told her about dd's reservations/fears. She was very encouraging to dd.

My own conviction is that high school is the time when a Christian education matters most, be it homeschool or private. I can't even envision circumstances severe enough that I would put my kids in our public high school, but I would turn to a Christian school if I had to. My own public high school experience was a real destruction to my soul, and I want more for my children. I applaud your love and commitment for your daughter, and I just know you'll work this all out in a way that benefits her for the rest of her life!

I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to homeschool dd, but she has told her father about my hs'ing my youngers and the response was VERY negative!
Her father and his mother condemns EVERYTHING that my husband and I try to instill in dd. They make fun of ALL of our guidelines concerning movies, music, books, etc.

[9hillbillies:)]

My heart and prayers go out to you! You have come to the right place for encouragement as i see several ladies praying for you and offering a 'shoulder' to share your burdens!
I too will pray for your family~:) Sometimes when we think we have our own burdens, all we have to do is look around us and see others have heavier burdens. Your burden has really made me see the need to be sensitive to others and to look to others to encourage and not concentrate on my own things:)
Thank you for sharing your heart.
angie

[aprilmd]

I'm praying for you and your family!
April

[water2wine]

I have no advice but I just wanted to say that I am praying that the Lord will give you wisdom and a clear answer for His will on this. Praying for you.