Need help with 2 yo and failed plans!

[mamabeavabjo]

After reading lots of great posts about what to do with littles (i.e., my very active 2 yo son) while teaching the olders (who aren't really that old at 5, 7 and 8 ) I am really frusturated
I had lots of todder activities planned for him, and I even bought a few new things. With his 15 second attention span, I can't get anything done! He stays in the "fence" for the biggest part of the morning and throws out any activity or toy or book that I give him after about 5 minutes. The girls (he has 3 sisters) play well with him, but he always ends up at the school table wanting to color or do what his sisters are doing. Today I found him with a glue stick putting it on his lips like chapstick!
I also had to put LHFHG back on the shelf because dd5 (she'll be 5 next week) wasn't ready for the history or storytime selections- so we are transitioning with her. I took two weeks to do Unit 1 of Bigger (with the older girls) to get the kinks worked out. I still haven't made it to the Science box!
And to top it off...our sweet boy has decided that he doesn't want to wear a diaper anymore. He is NOT ready to potty train ( I tried for about a day and it's clear that he doesn't recognize when he's about to go). He goes into his room without notice and takes off his diaper, put on underwear and then ends up going somewhere like the couch, kitchen chair, etc. because no one knows he's taken his diaper off. I promise I'm a careful, attentive momma I'm just at a loss. The girls were very different at this age. Easier, in word Any new ideas???
Thank you in advance,
Steph

[Tansy]

Oh my... You poor mama... My first thought is duct tape the safety pins or diaper tabs. So you are not distracted by a mess not in the bathroom.

My next thought is Prayer you need lots of prayer..

My 3rd thought is would a day girl help? To make sure I don't fall behind on My DD1 Nuro therapy, and My dd2 schooling since dd1 can eat up all the school time with melt downs, anger that needs to be counselled. 2 days a week I have her go to a home schooled 14 year old 2 blocks away it costs me 5 dollars each hour
I get an hour or more of one on one time with dd2 and we always have no trouble clearing up any school that we missed due to DD1's needy-ness. I only have 2 but I still have trouble not focusing all my attention on just one.
It's worth every penny!
My thinking is if you can find a girl to come in for a while and not entertain him per say but rather to send the same message you are sending... no no Mommy is home schooling, you need to do x or y.. and lead him by the hand back to his special spot, repeatedly 200 times a day till he gets it.

I prayed for you too...

[TammyTE]

I feel your pain. Really I do. I don't currently have a 2yo. My most recent 2yo turned 3 yesterday! I will brainstorm a bit here and ramble some too. Sorry if it seems disjointed.

I do know that boys (my boy at least) are very different from girls. I don't know how you have things set up. We pretty much stay in one main area of the house. I allow my 9yo to go to a different room every once in a while to read by herself or work on some independent work, but my others stay with me 90% of the time.

My 3yo is right there with the 5yo and 7yo when they are doing their rhyme time and such. Basically anything that involves movement. When we are doing seatwork or storytime then she is still in the room but must be quiet. Now please understand that quiet is a relative term. My quiet and someone else's quiet may be two very different sound levels.

During all of the this my 10mo is crawling around, nursing, drooling on the books or whatever. But they are all in the same room with me.

At nap time I have my 3yo take her nap in a great big recliner that I can see from where we are working. That way I know if she gets up. My 10mo is still in a crib so it's not an issue.

When you are working one on one with someone have another child do an activity with little brother. Even if it's just a few minutes of singing a song or whatever. Oh! Speaking of songs..... something I have done for years is a family sing-a-long. If we are ever in a chaotic frenzy then I say "time for a sing-a-long!" and everyone sits down and they each get to pick a song to sing together as a family. It's great because it requires very little effort on my part and can be done anywhere. We even sing through the grocery store if needed. Yes people stare, but they would be staring at a screaming 2yo too.

Maybe you could do a little family singing time where you do songs or action rhymes at his level for a few minutes every once in a while. He will feel included and his tank will fill up. That will give you time to work with the others for a bit while he plays.

If he absolutely wants to be involved, then I say involve him! Grab a piece of scrap paper and let him have a glue stick. If he still uses a high chair then strap him in and let him at it! If he's not strapped then just give him washable glue and crayons. I'm all about prevention. If they are cutting something then give him some kiddie scissors and some old magazines and he can cut cut cut. I pretty much let all of them be involved if they want as long as they are not a disruption to the one that the lesson is actually for.

hth!

[countrymom]

We used a gate with both of our boys and kept them just in our living area (which fortunately is an open plan to the kitchen). They were not allowed free reign of the house until age 3 or 3 1/2. That helped a lot. I agree with the op advice about a high chair if you still have one. I used that trick a lot for our youngest. I would put him in a high chair with activities to do and with him in the high chair I didn't worry so much about what I gave him. If your little one is still napping, I would save the most labor intensive (on your part) of the guides for nap time, even if that means breaking up the school day. Also, could you take turns having one of the girls play with him in a bedroom while you work with the other to break things up. If you could get 3 or 4 alternating 15 min blocks of time that way throughout your school day that would help a lot. One last thought for now, make sure you play with your 2 yr old before you start school. That way he has received "mommy time" first it might help the attention-getting activities on his part. I'll be praying. Hang in there, it will get better.

[MomtoJGJE]

I just let my 2yo do whatever she's happy doing unless it is bothering someone who is doing school at the moment. I have no problem with her cutting up paper, coloring on papers, we got her her own "workbook" (coloring book) to scribble on when sisters are doing their book work. She will randomly come in and get some sort of art supply and take it to the table where my oldest is doing ind. work and do her own work One of the older three who is not doing work at the moment will read her a book or take her upstairs and play with her, or outside... She will sweep or wipe the floors. I keep snacks where she can get to them and she can get water on her own. She'll play with blocks and knock them down or play with magnets.

All of this stuff is done while running through the house at 90 mph and randomly fighting with whatever sister is closest. Or hitting them just to get a reaction. Or terrorizing the dogs.

[christina101902]

Try putting his diaper on backwards , that was a trick I did as well and it worked for me. Also keep a button crotch onesie with pants or shorts, its a little extra work but for alot of kids are out of sight out of mind. Have you tried those color wonder painting books, they are awesome and no mess, but use those as a last resort as they are expensive if you go through several pages a day.

[netpea]

If he were my kid, I'd let him wear underwear or go nakey at a certain time of the day when you aren't doing school. For instance an hour before school or right after. Underwear / Nakey time helps them figure out what is happening with their bodies and if he knows he gets to have that time in his routine, it will help him to leave the diaper on the rest of the time.

I have a kiddy table with chairs in the room with us for my 20 month old. She gets to have one toy or activity out on her table at a time. After she puts it away she can have another. When we paint, she paints, when we draw, she colors. She thinks it is her school too. She has no interest in playing anywhere else when we are doing school. She can create chaos but that's what kids do right?

[MelInKansas]

It sounds to me like you just need a transition time. Time for him and you to figure out how he can be entertained/stimulated during school time (or which part of school time might need to be done during his nap - I assume he still naps?) If he's not used to not being able to participate in what the other kids are doing, or not having attention from you for longer blocks in the day, then that's something that both of you will have to work towards.

A helper is a great idea, but even with that, it's all about setting up the boundaries/expectations, making sure they are understood and accepted by each child. You would have a transition even that way. It's really difficult, and a disservice to your other children that you can't have much (if any) focussed time with them on the work they need to do.

So, slow down with the "school" expectations for now and I would try to think through what the "routine" expectations need to be. How much time do you REALLY need as focussed time with each child (or group of children)? Which things need your time and attention? How can you work in a little bit of focus on him (whether by you or one of his sisters) so that he also feels like he gets your face time? One speaker I heard at a conference said her littlest ones get her time and attention first. That's not true in our house, but I have a 2 YO who is actually very happy to be shut in her room for 30 minutes with toys because usually her sisters interfere so much in what she wants to do (and she hasn't made a habit of taking her clothes and diaper off... she tends to put underwear or her sisters' clothes on OVER her clothes or diaper). But I do make 30 minutes while my older ones have a little bit of computer time to spend just with her, either trying to do developmental activities or just playing whatever it is she has it on her mind to play (usually it's cooking and feeding me some delicious kind of meal).

I agree with the others, if he's into school supplies and doing similar things to what the others are doing, let him do it! I understand how stressful it can feel to have several children working on a project, at least 2 of which probably need either help or disaster control, but to have them all happy and together, learning something (even if it's learning that glue is not lip gloss) and under your supervision is worth the trouble IMO. If he can be at the table for 10 minutes (high chair is good) using pencils, erasers, safety scissors (my 2 YO LOVES scissors), glue, whatever that's 10 minutes of time!

[Carrie]

I only have a few minutes here, but the ladies are doing a terrific job of helping you! I know school with a 2 year old is very interesting, but don't despair. It can be done. I think it is very important to rotate your 2 year old from thing to thing every 15-20 min. or so. I'll post a link to some ideas that will give you some ideas of what he could do as he moves from thing to thing. I have had some very wild 2 year olds, specifically my first son and my third son, although my last one was an easier child all the way around (so his schedule reflects longer time chunks). My other boys had to be rotated every 15-20 min. Link: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=10203&p=74353

Also, here is a link to the scheduling thread. I believe this is the page where I share my Bigger Hearts (full-speed), Little Hearts (half-speed), and 18 month and 2 year old year schedule. This schedule is from my calmer 2 year old, so you'll need to put two activities in every time block for your busier boy. I know I had to do that with my busier ones. You have to scroll down at the link to see my schedules. Link: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2093&p=16658

Something along these lines may work for you as a help in how to set-up your day.

I also agree that using a onesie over the diaper is a huge help. Then, place pants or shorts over the onesie. We did it with all of our boys, as boys love to take off their diapers early! This deterred them until they got a bit older.

Blessings,
Carrie

[Kims]

I put diapers on my daughter backward and that helped.

About the busyness you may just need to do some hard heavy training with him and discipline when he is not obeying.
It's hard. Last year my son was 3 and it was harder this year it is better he sits with us a lot. So there is a light on the horizon eventually.

[Mercy]

Oooh my - do I relate!!!
Only mine is 3 1/2 and potty trained.
But, he just has such a hands-on personality. The trick is to keep him constructive vs destructive. Anyone from the outside in probably judges that I dont discipline enough or that I am not a good mommy, but the truth is...my youngest boy is truly just more challenging. He tends to learn the hard way...he does first, then thinks. Every child truly is different! I have learned to pick my battles. He is much more persistent than I am, so if I am going say no...I need to be ready to endure until he is compliant. In time he is going to be a great leader! Sometimes I get discouraged because I thought this season would have ended long ago...nope. But, God equips whom He calls and, only by His grace, will I get through.

To encourage you...mine would actually take his diaper off and make murals all over the wall!! Yep. He climbed out of his crib at 18mos and was climbing onto the counters, into the cupboards ....

I am happy to report those are no longer issues.However, I do find him in the fridge and he seems to feel confident that he could make pancakes on his own, if I let him!

I love this treasure of joy and fun my Lord has given me and I look forward to see the man he will become. These days dont last forever...may I treasure each moment!

[mamabeavabjo]

Thanks so much for the kind words of advice. I have put onsies on my Walmart list...I found him naked when I went to get him up from nap today And having the girls take turns going upstairs with him to play in his room (we school downstairs) was a great suggestion.
Sorry for sounding like a crazy person, but I was feeling a little bit like one! We are off of school on Tuesdays (my hubby's off day) so I'm feeling relaxed and ready for tomorrow. And I hope you all know that do treasure this time even though it's difficult. I wouldn't trade it for anything