To hold back or not to hold back....THAT is the question!

[tiffanieh]

Good morning girls! It is the crack of dawn here and I can't keep you all off my mind (this is quite addicting)

I feel like God is continually challenging me and honing me to be better and do better...I love it. But here lies my question...

My youngest son will be 5 on August 18th. In Orlando, the school cut off if August 30th, so he really only meets the "kindergarten" deadline by 12 days. He really,up until now, has had no interest in learning to write. We have since started to learn (we have probably gotten thru 1/2 the alphabet). He has really weak pencil graps. He does however know the sounds of all the letters and can tell me what letter comes first, and last, if I say a word...i think he is ready to learn to read.

Being in traditional school, where they are there for 8 hours, I thought would be way too much for him at this point, and was going to hold him back. However, now that I'm homeschooling, I'm wondering if I should just move forward with registering him with the state as a kindergartener, and really do do kindergarten with him.

On the flip side though, I "WAS" kinda looking forward to easing into homeschooling with really only having to focus on my older son and having my youngest just learn thru attrition, without much pressure of him HAVING to get a skill down.

Oh, the confusion!

I know it's just kindergarten, but I just want to make the right decision! We also came from a very high standard school and what they were doing in Kindergarten was crazy!

They were reading by November, homework each week, writing sentences in their daily journals for creative writing, etc...

Also, the other thing I'm thinking about, is "if" we ever put him back into traditional school I've heard that the "younger" kids in the class, especially boys, becomes really appearant and that is why it's better to hold the boys back. I always thought it would be better for him to be one of the older kids, instead of the youngest!

I don't plan on sending either one back to school, but I just wanted to list all the things that are going on in my brain right now!

Or am I overanalyzing this????

Thanks for listening to my ramblings...

Tiffanie

PS...for those curious, my name is actually spelled Tiffanie, but I use tiffanieh on several different boards I belong to because "H" is the first letter of my last name.

[crlacey]

My first question is do you have to report him for K? Here in PA, we don't have to report anything till age 8. Maybe you can look into FL law to see what age needs to be reported.

If you do have to report K, why not just do LHTH with him and call this pre-K. Move through it at your own pace. That may be fast, slow, normal. Then the pressure is off you this year. And if he does do mostly K work this year, that just means reporting for his K year next year would look great Since he'd be reading and writing some at the beginning of the year. By holding him back like you had planned, it gives you some wiggle room to teach those early learning skills.

[momof2n2]

of course you know your son the best of all, but I wanted to share that my son was born on August 19th. Our school year cut off is December 1, so he was WELL within the guidelines for starting school, however had we opted to send him to school we would have held him back a year d/t maturity. Since we were HSing, I did "start him" in Kindergarten when he turned five and he has done well. I still see him as slightly more reserved and less socially agile than his peers, but I now see that as a character trait, not an age issue any longer.

[Vicki]

Hi Tiffanie!

My dgs has about the same birthday/cutoff situation as your son has. He's 7 now, and actually could be entering 3rd grade this next year, based on the birthday/cutoff for this area. I actually filled out the forms for K when he was 5, then instantly regretted it. I think that as my little guy has grown, I've seen a turn in the corner in maturity around January, and that's when I've decided our new school year should start. That seems to work best for us.

I did teach him to read when he was 5, as he showed many signs that he was ready. He picked it up quickly, and by Sept. was reading little 3-letter words I'd typed in large print into funny sentences for him. Now he can easily read some of the early chapter books and enjoys them. His math skills are another story though, and I've discovered that in our case, it's best to have a good bit of "discovery time" for that subject. Lots of manipulatives to play around with to make connections, fewer worksheets, lots of working things out on a dry erase board--that kind of thing.

Knowing what I know with an almost 8 year-old, I'd hold him back to give him that extra time to mature, both emotionally and mentally. Pray about it above all--God will show you the path to take for him. That's how we were led here. I am just really sorry that I didn't find this curriculum sooner, as I would have loved to work through Little Hearts for His Glory---I just didn't know about it in time.

God bless you and lead you in the direction that is best for your child. I know since He's led us here we've been immensely blessed!!

[mom2boys030507]

You could not register him but start working on Little Hearts at half speed and if he and you get to the point that you want more you will already have it.

Also if you don't register him that gives you this year to ease into schooling at home.

Karen

[Vicki]

Just adding this on to agree with what Karen just posted. It would be really nice to have that year to ease into everything. Great advice!

[lovetoteachPrek]

First, I am not a "homeschooler" but I teach Little Hands in a group setting at church. I sometimes check these boards for ideas and your post caught my eye. I've "been there and done that " twice with summer boys .

Last school year I chose to go ahead and register my just turned 5 year old with the state as a homeschooled kindergartener. I needed to receive speech therapy through the school for him and as a "homeschooler" we received those services.

Now, nearly a year later, my question is "does he really need K or could he start 1st?". So many things come into play: maturity, handwriting skills, phonics, speech, and behaviour. With this child, I'm leaning towards starting him in ps K after weighing all of it. The problem is that he is way WAY ahead in math (I've used Singapore) and probably in phonics as well. BUT, he would be a struggling 1st grader.

It's not easy, is it

Since you are not planning on using the ps system as I am, from my viewpoint (correct me if I'm wrong), it will be easier for you to go with any plan that's been presented by previous posters. You can teach him at his level no matter what the "grade level" is. I would lean towards you registering him now, calling him a K'er, but doing K over two (or however long it takes) years if needed. Who knows? He might take off and surprise you (my 3rd did that...I homeschooled K and he was reading chapter books by the end of K).

What about at church? I chose to not to move my ds ahead with his age-mates (who were all older than him anyway, plus they were a rowdy bunch). At just-turned 5 he didn't really notice, but a year later I think he would have.

BTW, I've told people that I'm "delaying him starting" rather than "holding him back" LOL! It just "sounds" better to me!


I do agree with you as you mentioned that what they want them doing in public school K (and 1st) is crazy. Knowledge of that (I have 3 others ahead of my last, so I knew well what was going on) is really what drove my decision to delay my summer ds.

Also, I realize that advice from a non-homeschooler may be not as helpful (maybe even inappropriate) , but I just wanted to offer what I could and let you know that because you've chosen to homeschool he's gonna get tailored instruction and it'll be just wonderful.

[tiffanieh]

Thanks guys so much for all your thoughtful replies. They all mean alot to me. I'm still undecided on what I should do. In my state I don't have to register them for Kindergarten so I think I'll just see how this year goes and evaluate what level he is at whether I should register him for an official year of Kindergarten or start in first!

Thanks again for your input!

[Mommamo]

In my state we don't ever have to register, but if I were faced with that situation, I personally would not register him this year if you don't have to. My little girl is after the cut-off (it's Sept. 1st here and her b-day is about 3 weeks after that) and we're hsing so that I can start her in K early, because she's ready. But even if you're not calling it K, you can still do whatever you want to at home. Then, like you said, you could decide what grade you want to consider him next year.

This is a somewhat unrelated antecdote, but in my mind it's related. I've taught piano for 10 years now. When dd turned 2 I started her on piano lessons. Then, for about the past 6-9 months or so, we have completely let piano slip. Completely. My mom started hounding me about it so we started it up again about a month ago from the beginning. Oh my goodness! What a difference those months have made on her maturity and understanding. Piano lessons are so incredibly fun and pleasant now. We are flying through this book, and we're only doing about 5 minutes a day, maybe less. All this is to say it is just amazing at what a couple months can do for maturity levels. If you go ahead and just let him tag along here and there, I think you'll be amazed at what he's ready for in the next few months. That will give you time to ease into things, you won't feel pressured, he won't feel pressured, and then if he ends up being ready for 1st next year, then great! If he's not, absolutely no big deal!

Hope you could follow my random, disconnected thoughts. My brain is somewhat scattered from these sleepless nights with an infant.

[Motherjoy]

We've got a 9yo that we would have "held back" had he entered a public school system. He is a July baby, and just wasn't ready. He took awhile to read, so we actually did hold him back in Sunday School and Awanas. It was a really good thing.

Now, he's pretty close to where he shoulc be, and we've never regretted it.

[mamaduke]

This has really been a good thread for me to think on too. I've been hung up on the fact that my oldest child will be 5 in June so he should be starting K by fall. My relatives seem a bit questioning too, (this is the firstborn grandchild just reaching school age) as quasi non-supportive to homeschool. They keep asking what schooling we're doing and in my mind I say, "He's 4!" But to them I say, "oh we'll start some phonics and do Kindergarten in the fall," no matter what age program we use, I was thinking of calling it K, just to make everyone happy. But I think, if I were using the ps system I wanted to "delay starting" I would just have to communicate that to the folks and hope for understanding. It's not that unusual. So maybe I won't even call it K unofficially either.

I'm mostly of the mind set that later is better. There's no rush.

We don't report K in our state either. So I can do the same thing ... wait until next year and see what level he is at and where I want to report him.

Thanks for the good discussion!

[MamaMary]

Tiffanieh,

I had to make that decision with my little boy last year. I am just registering him THIS coming year and he turned 6 at the beginning of the month. Having four boys, I have found mine to mature slower. I would rather start later and have them ahead of the game than vice versa.

[mamaduke]

I would rather start later and have them ahead of the game than vice versa.

Excellent point, Mary! Thank you.

[my3sons]

I'd wait to register him too, for many of the reasons already given here. A year can make a world of difference, and you'll know so much better where to place him after the year has passed. If you want to start homeschooling in the fall with LHFHG for kindergarten though, by all means, just start it, and then you'll have even more information about where he fits academically at the end of the year.

Oh, and I wouldn't worry about keeping up with the school's aggressive pace of doing Kindergarten. Your ds will have spurts of learning and slower times of learning as well, so there's no need to base his overall ability to learn on one year of Kindergarten. As much as I like to think I'm bringing out the best in my ds's when they're excelling at learning, and as much as I like to blame myself when my ds's are not doing as well with their learning, the truth is it is all really just in God's timing anyway. I probably have a lot less to do with that than I think I do.

In Christ ,
Julie

*Oh, and I agree with you about this board being addicting! I keep saying it's time for me to go to bed, but I'm still sitting here typing!

[Carrie]

For what it's worth, my third son has an August 15 birthday and turned 5 right before this school year started. We chose to have this be his Pre-K with Kindergarten next year. We did LHFHG at half-speed this year, because he'd already been through all of LHTH.

He had a great year and grew up so much. We just didn't want to rush him, even though he probably could have handled it. I really wanted to savor this time with him, since they grow up so quickly.

Blessings,
Carrie