Encouragement for those with struggling or hesistant readers

[pjdobro]

I just wanted to share something that happened here at my house a few days ago in hopes that it will be encouraging to those who have a dc who is struggling with reading or really doesn't like to read. First, I need to give you a little background on my ds.

My ds was slower to read. He had no interest in reading and for the longest time, he couldn't blend sounds. He could say sounds separately and he could take words apart but couldn't put them together. So he could read "c" "a" "t" but not "cat". If I asked him how to spell cat, he would say "c" "a" "t". He just couldn't figure out how to blend sounds when trying to read for the longest time. I didn't think he would ever get it, then one day poof, he had it. Still it was painful listening to him read even easy books like the Bob books. He was so slow and tended to easily miss little words like "it" and "the" and confuse them. He improved and we moved onto the emerging readers. It was one of my least favorite times of day when we did them because it was painful listening to him read. His flow was choppy, and he still missed words, but as we continued through the emerging readers, he improved immensely and by the end, it wasn't quite so difficult listening to him read. He still didn't like to read, and it was difficult getting him to read outside of school. Then when we were doing DITHOR, he read My Father's Dragon. That book sparked something in him, and he became interested in reading. Slowly he became more involved with books but he was still afraid of bigger books with small print. I allowed him to continue reading easier books in his spare time and didn't push him too much in his DITHOR books. Then this summer he wanted to tackle the Harry Potter series. (I felt comfortable allowing him to read these since both my dh and I had pre-read them and were able to discuss them with him, and I felt that they my dc have gained wonderful discernment in their reading after several years with DITHOR.) So he devoured the whole series. Those books gave him confidence to tackle the big books with small prints, and now he has confidence to read pretty much anything. So that's his background. Now onto what happened the other day.

I was cleaning out the bookshelf to try to make room for more books, a constant chore in a homeschool household. I had the dc come and join me to help me decide which books we could get rid of and which books to keep. I kept coming to books like Key to Treasure, The Great Hornspoon, Chester Cricket, The Year of Ms. Agnes, books that we read several years ago. I thought by now that they would be ready to say good-bye to these wonderful books but my ds got all teary eyed and said he couldn't bear to part with them. Book after book was that way. You would have thought I was taking away his friends , and I think that is how he felt about so many of these books. CM's philosophy (and the way HOD implements it) of allowing children to live with books and develop relationships with them has really taken root in my dc. The choice of all the wonderful living books has given my dc, even my reluctant, slow to read ds, a love of reading. Though we weren't able to eliminate many books off the bookshelf, the experience was a good one and warmed my heart. It was touching to see how much both of dc cared about the books that we had read. I am thankful that I found HOD so that I am so easily able to implement CMs philosophies and have so many wonderful books pre-read and chosen for me. I have enjoyed the new friends that I have met along the way in these books and am forever grateful for the love of reading that it has instilled in my dc.

So, I hope if you have a struggling reader and feel discouraged this will give you hope. Continue to do the phonics, the emerging readers, and follow the progression with HOD exposing your dc to all the fantastic book choices that are offered. Someday you could have a similar story.

[lissiejo]

What a fabulous story! Such a great encouragement

[davisfam7]

Thank you so very much for posting this. I have a son who is the same age as yours and this is a huge struggle for us. He LOVES to be read to, but has a really hard time reading himself. We just keep plugging along. He has made great strides over this summer, but sometimes I feel like it is never going to click. He has the same issues that you described in your son. So after reading this, it gives me the courage and the patience to keep on keeping on

[pjdobro]

Thank you so very much for posting this. I have a son who is the same age as yours and this is a huge struggle for us. He LOVES to be read to, but has a really hard time reading himself. We just keep plugging along. He has made great strides over this summer, but sometimes I feel like it is never going to click. He has the same issues that you described in your son. So after reading this, it gives me the courage and the patience to keep on keeping on

Sarah, I'm so glad that was an encouragement to you. My ds loves being read to also and we've done lots of that. Many of those books that we were sorting were ones that we had read aloud and then some of them he had read himself later. He told me something today that was interesting. He was telling me that he likes reading to himself now, often better, because he can imagine the different voices of the characters any way he wants. He says that is much easier than trying to read those voices aloud and better than even when I do different voices for the characters. Though that is somewhat of a blow to my ego , it is encouraging because that tells me that he is really immersing himself in those books and getting a lot out of them. I think with some dc the path to a love of reading can be a long one, but the path that HOD lays out for them helps them reach it. Your ds will reach it too just continue to follow the path.

[my3sons]

Your post really touched my heart, pjdobro. This is such an encouragement - truly such an inspiration. You have managed to describe what I believe Charlotte Mason found to be true with dc of all ages and with differing "starts" to reading - cultivating a love of reading with excellent living books, using slow and steady encouragement, having meaningful 'talks' about books, giving time to really know an author or to really read a book at a savoring pace, taking time to let dc blossom with their reading - these are the ingredients for a child to love reading good books, for a lifetime!!! I am so proud of your ds, and of you too. This is a story worth sharing over and over again. It is the story of how dc can truly learn to have a passion for reading, at the 'heart' level, and not just at the 'head' level. It is that which cannot be accomplished with textbooks, anthologies, or lock-step reading programs. Thank you so much for sharing here, and I think this is going to be such an encouragement to others!!!

In Christ,
Julie

[EmilyJ]

THANK YOU for sharing this. I came to the board this afternoon looking for this exact encouragement. My oldest DD is 5 and is struggling to blend sounds...she sounds exactly like you described your son. We just finished a phonics lesson and it was painful. I needed to read your story, so thank you again. This is our first year homeschooling. We moved to Mexico 6 months ago as missionaries and it's been such an adjustment for me to get used to homeschooling in general in addition to all the cultural adjustments...so I am feeling pretty discouraged that my DD is having such a difficult time "getting it" in reading! I am thankful that God led our family to HOD, though...the more we read and do the more content I am with the choice.

[pjdobro]

Emily, I am so blessed that my post uplifted you today. It can be very challenging to be a new homeschooler so I can't even imagine how difficult it must be for adjusting to homeschooling, a new culture, and new home all at the same time! I had a lot of those painful moments like you did today so I can relate. I was fortunate to have twins and had one that caught on more quickly which encouraged me. I remember reading all sorts of tips, etc. and wondering if maybe I wasn't doing something incorrectly. I finally read (I think it was in Ruth Beechick's 3Rs book) that said blending is just a developmental thing, and it will come when the dc is ready and not a moment before. That helped me relax a bit, but it was still painful. Keep hanging in there. It will happen for your dd too.

[davisfam7]

Dear Patty,

Thanks again for another great idea and encouragement. My 10 yo son who is the struggling reader has never really liked picture books. When I asked him about that he said that he liked to make up his own mind as to what the people in the story looked like instead of seeing what someone else drew. I have also started having him pre read to himself the passage that I am going to have him read aloud. This has cut down his frustration with reading out loud by at least half. As he progresses in his reading skills I won't always have him do this. But for now I think it helps him to have better fluency when reading aloud to me. He is perfectionistic in some areas and reading is one of them. He doesn't understand that mom, dad and all his siblings did not read aloud like we do right out of the shoot. We had to work at it. He sees his struggle with oral reading as a failure. By letting him read it to himself first, I give him the chance to work out any pronounciations he might struggle with and he can ask me questions so that when he does his oral reading it flows better. Anyway, thanks so much for the intial post and the reply to me, it was/is a much needed glimmer of hope that we are going in the right direction! My son is a bright kid, very hands on, I hate to think of the lables he'd have stuck to him by now if he was in PS. We are making great strides, but our road to reading is just a little off the beaten path!!

[Mississippi Mama]

Another thanks to the op! I am in this boat with one of my dc. My ds is 10 and we tried every phonics program known to the hs world! Only a few weeks ago we found a program that clicks and he is finally blending:) It is a struggle and still breaks my heart as I wonder if he will have to go through life reading so slowly. I know he has a lot of gifts and if he had been in ps would have 0 confidence. So I'm glad to hear these uplifting stories. i have hope

[rockridgegal]

WOW!!! I came here today as I do everyday looking and digging for post just like this one !!! Thanks so MUCH !!! You are a blessing to us Moms out here homeschooling our struggling readers. I am so glad I sat here a little longer and found this post.
I have a ds 8 year old soon to be 9 and this is our 3 rd year homeschooling and it is a struggle everyday . I have spent a fortune on Phonics this and that and non phonics and you NAME IT ! Nothing works for my son. Even the prep " Jake it is time to do our reading " , I see the sadness come into his little face . This is so hard to watch as a Mom. I will try and be more understanding and will continue on . We are trying Reading Kingdom and some library books . Emerging readers would not be a possibility for him.
I would love to hear any suggestions ANYONE has . He is starting to not even want to read the words I, AM, THE, etc.....

Kim