What type of homeschooler are YOU?

[Tabitha]

Mary - Wanna help me figure this out?

#1 - I definitely pull in and contemplate before discussing. Or I type it out for myself, delete it, change it, edit it, move it around...THEN click 'submit'.

#2 - I definitely react with a "Sure!" (even when I shouldn't, sometimes!).

I'm guessing I'm an Olive since it took me forever to reply to this (I won't tell you how many times I read through it!) AND, I'm struggling to label myself.

I have many Betty characteristics though, hence my confusion. (Betty's c, d and e. Olive's a, b, c, e.) What'cha think?

There is a tie-breaker question:

When your sick do you like to be left alone or around others?

Left Alone= Olive

Around Other's= Betty

Man, that doesn't work for me either. I do both - lol.

[MamaMary]

Wow - is it possible to be both? I feel like I have a split personality reading the strengths/weaknesses of both. I'm 1/2 and 1/2.

I need to really think on this one.

Tab

Give me an example when you say you do both to #3? (this is helpful thanks for working through this with me)

[Jessi]

Ok, the litmus test would say I am 100 % a Betty. Yet when I look at the specific characteristics I am split about 50/50. I'll show you what mean. I'll put everything I am in bold.

Characteristics of a Betty

a) Relational
b) Processing through conversation
c) Needs to be creative/ Must have wiggle room
d) Simplicity ='s Consistency w/ daily routine type tasks
e) Thrives in both giving and getting words of affirmation


Strengths

a) Encouragers
b) Excitement Builders
c) Empathetic
d) Emotional
e) Forgives and Forgets easily
f) Visionaries
g) Others Centered
h) Tend to see the glass half FULL
i) DOERS

Weaknesses

a) High expectations for others to be relational and affirming
b) Sensitive
c) Struggles being excited/content with routine
d) Struggles w/ self-discipline
e) Too quick to say Yes
f) Struggles with details
g) Can be naïve

Characteristics of an Olive

a) Informational
b) Craves quiet, order and routine
c) Internalizes and ponders to figure things out
d) Likes to stick to a plan
e) Enjoys imparting knowledge and Insight

Strengths

a) Self Confident
b) Takes responsibility and commitments seriously
c) Loyal
d) Practical
e) Generally academic and capable
f) Good Listeners- Give good honest feedback
g) Purposeful/Diligent
h) Logical/ Analytical
i) THINKERS

Weaknesses

a) Not naturally in tune with others feelings (may appear insensitive at times)
b) May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason rather than desired emotional support
c) Not naturally good at expressing feelings and emotions
d) Can be prideful and think their way is the right way, the only way e) Can lean towards sarcasm when feeling uncomfortable
f) Judgemental g) Too quick to say NO

See what I mean?

[Jessi]

But now the sick question would be be that I like to be left alone on the living room couch while others are going about their business around me. I want to be where they are, but I don't want them to talk to me or touch me or anything.

[MamaMary]

But now the sick question would be be that I like to be left alone on the living room couch while others are going about their business around me. I want to be where they are, but I don't want them to talk to me or touch me or anything.

Jessi,

This is exactly a Betty answer I just want to be around, not participating. (smile)

You are a Betty w/ Olive tendencies

[Tiffini]

Hi, Mary and all! I see there is now a happy@home on the boards, and I am HappyatHome - glad to see that we are happy following the Lord in being keepers of our homes!

Mary, I found this whole topic so very interesting! I had read your posts on HSR before and was intrigued by them. I am definitely an Olive - no question there at all! I admire you Bettys and all of your creativity and fun-lovingness. I love that God made all of us and I am learning to be totally content with who I am and learning to love the diversity in all of us and not compare myself with you exciting and "fun" moms! I have not actually started with HOD yet, but will be starting Bigger hopefully in July and I'm sure that it is going to fit us perfectly after reading through all of the materials and guide. I can't wait!!

I had some thoughts after reading through this thread. I don't post very often, usually when I have questions or I can speak very specifically to someone else's question. Since I have not actually used HOD yet, that means I can't respond all that often in a meaningful way. Yet, I love reading the board almost every day and seeing all of the familiar names and all of you wonderful moms who reach out to welcome and encourage each new person that you see here or each question that is put out. I love that! I always feel guilty that I'm not doing that, too. But, you know, I imagine most of you who are responding to each and every post are probably Bettys and you are relational!! Thank goodness for you relational gals! You minister to me in so many ways. It is hard for me to be relational in cyberspace. Whenever I read my words, I think, "That doesn't sound like the real me..." and I feel like it is so easy to be misunderstood via the cyberworld, so I just don't do it often. Plus, we Olives review and rethink everything we type before we hit submit, that it takes forever to post!! So, even though I may not make my voice known here often, I am here and I am thankful for all of you so much! I love the spirit of love and understanding and acceptance here on the HOD boards.

One last thing - I lead a moms' group from our homeschool co-op. I co-lead with the leader of our co-op who is a wonderful Betty. We have been friends forever. I would love to do a session or a series on this topic as I think it is so freeing to help us accept our homeschooling style from the Lord. Do you have your session on a CD that I could purchase? I would really like to know more about this topic and be able to use it with our group.

Thanks again, Mary, and all of you who encourage so faithfully!!

PS - I think I will change my user name to plain ol' Tiffini from here on out... I like knowing y'all's real names.

[MamaMary]

One last thing - I lead a moms' group from our homeschool co-op. I co-lead with the leader of our co-op who is a wonderful Betty. We have been friends forever. I would love to do a session or a series on this topic as I think it is so freeing to help us accept our homeschooling style from the Lord. Do you have your session on a CD that I could purchase? I would really like to know more about this topic and be able to use it with our group.

Hi Tiffini,

I loved what you wrote about checking and re-thinking before hitting enter and how much more work it is, LOL! I just put all my errors right out there. I saw a disclaimer that I am going to add to all my signature lines:

"This mail is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects."

I will have a CD available after convention next Thursday. You can purchase it on-line from Rhino technologies. I'll get the info to you;-) Where do you live? (State)

[Kathleen]

OK Mary...I don't think my last post on here made much sense...

For the litmus test...I think, then I want to discuss things, and talk them out. I am more apt to say yes than no as long as it's something I'm capable of. But, with more kids...I'm getting much better at waiting and considering something prayerfully before I commit to it. When I'm sick, I definitely want to be left alone! The strengths and weaknesses of Olive...those are me! (Of course a few of the Betty characteristics fit me, too...but not nearly as many!)

Do you think that this Olive/Betty thing can change some as to where you're at in life? Let me explain...I don't know if I'm asking this right. My sister growing up was always the fun-loving, creative, mischeivious one. (We usually got in trouble when we followed through on her "great ideas". ) I was the responsible, dependble one. She was also a "spender"...couldn't keep a quarter in her pocket...wouldn't lick a sucker when she could chomp it. Now...she's married to a very creative, relational guy. In that relationship, she's the one who keeps to the budget, and is much more scheduled. I didn't see the "Olive" tendencies in her until she was married with kids, though. I would say that my sis and her hubby are both "Betty's". But, next to him, she looks a little Olive colored. Now, my hubby and I are both Olives. (He doesn't mind the house being messy though, and I always want to talk more... ) I don't think we're too extreme together though as the teens in our church always want us to stick aroud and play soccer or basketball with them cause it's more fun. (We might as well enjoy that while it lasts...we are over 30 now. )

Mary, I'd love the info on your CD, too. I think it would be a lot of fun to go through with the other moms in my homeschool group.

Kathleen

[MamaMary]

1- But, with more kids...I'm getting much better at waiting and considering something prayerfully before I commit to it. When I'm sick, I definitely want to be left alone! The strengths and weaknesses of Olive...those are me! (Of course a few of the Betty characteristics fit me, too...but not nearly as many!)

2- Do you think that this Olive/Betty thing can change some as to where you're at in life?

3- Let me explain...I don't know if I'm asking this right. My sister growing up was always the fun-loving, creative, mischeivious one. (We usually got in trouble when we followed through on her "great ideas". ) I was the responsible, dependble one. She was also a "spender"...couldn't keep a quarter in her pocket...wouldn't lick a sucker when she could chomp it. Now...she's married to a very creative, relational guy. In that relationship, she's the one who keeps to the budget, and is much more scheduled. I didn't see the "Olive" tendencies in her until she was married with kids, though. I would say that my sis and her hubby are both "Betty's". But, next to him, she looks a little Olive colored.

4- Mary, I'd love the info on your CD, too. I think it would be a lot of fun to go through with the other moms in my homeschool group.

Hi Kathleen,

I thought your first post made total sense. I definitely think you sound like a "BEAUTIFUL" Olive! I bet we'd be close if you lived near.

1 & 2- I do think we become more integrated as we get older. I also think circumstances can help us to strengthen our weaknesses and some can also weaken our strengths. When my babies were little and my oldest was not old enough to help watch children. I was home all the time. I felt forgotten and not like "myself". If I'd only known that it was just a short season I would have enjoyed it more. During that time I was an Olive on steroids

3- I love your description of your sister! She is still a Betty, but not as glaringly as she was when you both were younger because she has to take on the role of responsible Olive. I have one close Betty friend. I find myself in the role of "Olive" when we talk. Let me explain:

I am the new "chair" for our support group and we are preparing for our big 8 hour board meeting in June. She called me all excited wanting to add a chess club to our agenda. She had the location, the children who would attend, was working on which night and time. I simply said that it sounded good and to let me know how many kids she would want in the group.., how many she felt like she could teach.

She looked at me like I had lost my mind and said, "Mary, I don't know how to PLAY CHESS, I just thought up the idea In that situation I played the "Olive".

BTW, I think it is the same for you and your hubby. You become the "Betty" in the relationship compared to a stronger Oliver

4- Absolutely! I will post that info when I get back! (excited/nervous smile)

[Tabitha]

Wow - is it possible to be both? I feel like I have a split personality reading the strengths/weaknesses of both. I'm 1/2 and 1/2.

I need to really think on this one.

Tab

Give me an example when you say you do both to #3? (this is helpful thanks for working through this with me)

Is #3 the sick question?

I might feel like I want to be alone because I am tired and want to sleep, but I never get to be alone. I'm still doing for the kids because someone has to. And I just do it. Mommy's never get a break, even when sick.

I think I'm a Betty, with lots of Olive mixed in.

[Tabitha]

Here are my tendencies in bold from both types. Those also in italics...I was iffy about.

I think I use to be an Olive growing up. And, I think I'm a Betty now. Life happens and with that comes changes. The biggest change for me, making me more bold and not afraid to speak my mind and do what I need to get things done...my dad was sentenced to a year in jail (tax issues) about 6-7 years ago. That year forever changed me, and my siblings. I started being quite blunt and open with people after that, not afraid to say how I felt, nor to do what I needed to do to make sure things were taking care of. I wasn't ever gonna let someone screw me over like what happened to my dad (he had an unequal yoke in a bad biz partner that left him high and dry with lots of taxes, which ended up with him serving jail time). Plus, through having kids, I got more comfortable with being permanently silly...they made me go out of my comfort zone when ya think about the things you do in public now that you never thought you would. Oh, and having a slightly controlling MIL that wanted to run everything...it took a few years for me to be able to stand up to her comfortably and speak my mind, and I've been going 8 years strong on that.

Betty's

Characteristics of a Betty

a) Relational
b) Processing through conversation
c) Needs to be creative/ Must have wiggle room
d) Simplicity ='s Consistency w/ daily routine type tasks
e) Thrives in both giving and getting words of affirmation


Strengths

a) Encouragers
b) Excitement Builders
c) Empathetic
d) Emotional
e) Forgives and Forgets easily
f) Visionaries
g) Others Centered
h) Tend to see the glass half FULL
i) DOERS


Weaknesses

a) High expectations for others to be relational and affirming
b) Sensitive
c) Struggles being excited/content with routine
d) Struggles w/ self-discipline
e) Too quick to say Yes
f) Struggles with details
g) Can be naive


As a Betty I realized through this process that I am never going to be as quiet and thoughtful as my Olive friends. Our personality is simply the prism thru which we view the world and which the world views us.

OLIVES (most of my closest friends are Olives)

Characteristics of an Olive

a) Informational
b) Craves quiet, order and routine
c) Internalizes and ponders to figure things out
d) Likes to stick to a plan
e) Enjoys imparting knowledge and Insight


Strengths

a) Self Confident
b) Takes responsibility and commitments seriously
c) Loyal
d) Practical
e) Generally academic and capable
f) Good Listeners- Give good honest feedback
g) Purposeful/Diligent
h) Logical/ Analytical
i) THINKERS

Weaknesses

a) Not naturally in tune with others feelings (may appear insensitive at times)
b) May tend to respond to conflict with logic and reason rather than desired emotional support
c) Not naturally good at expressing feelings and emotions
d) Can be prideful and think their way is the right way, the only way
e) Can lean towards sarcasm when feeling uncomfortable
f) Judgemental
g) Too quick to say NO

[Tiffini]

Thanks, Mary! I am looking forward to ordering that CD when it's available. I live in Indiana.

BTW, I love that disclaimer. I may steal it and then I won't have to re-read so much!!

[crlacey]

I am an Olive who was raised by a Betty mother. So I've picked up some of her habits and desires. I love that HOD can help me be creative since my DD seems to be a Betty without a doubt. And my hubby is very much and Olive. Thanks this was fun.

[tmcg]

I read the strengths and weaknesses in a previous post about Betty and Olive (haven't heard of this before). I have to say I am a Betty. I am relational and talk through things, my husband is much more Olive. The one difference is that I am not a "glass is half full" kind of person. I am more a "glass is half empty" and on a bad day....."there's a hole in the bottom of the glass." God helps me to be more of a positive person and my husband is very supportive.

Tammy

[eazbnsmom]

I am definitely Olive with some Betty tendencies!