Preschool social question...

[hs.mama07]

Hi everyone! This post isn't really directly related to HOD, but I'm not sure who else to ask. Hope that's okay

I had hoped, by the time we started homeschooling our son, we’d know some homeschool families and be able to get together with them on a regular basis. But due to some family health issues over the last few years, we really haven’t met anyone who homeschools. DS4 does have some other friends his age, but they all start school in a couple weeks and will not be able to get together very often (the preK programs take up a lot of time—I can’t even imagine).

We have a couple group activities every week and could add more if needed. Plus he has some slightly older and younger cousins we should be able to get together with from time to time--and grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc--but mostly just home with mommy and DS2 every day.

Is that enough? It feels so different from everyone I know who has kids in programs 15+ hours a week, and DS4 wants to have friends over regularly so I feel bad not knowing how to provide that. Any thoughts or advice on how to get started...or if we're just okay the way we are...that would sure be great! Thanks, Liz

[countrymom]

Well, I could write a book, but I won't. Your son is in the best environment he could be in by being in your home with his parents. Age segregated socialization is NOT what our children need, especially at the younger ages. Not so say we never provide opportunities for our children to engage with other children, but we have way overdone it as a society. I would not worry about what the other children are doing, your son will do awesome with the schedule you are providing him. Literature on brain development, learning, and child development/security/bonding supports this view. Don't worry and enjoy your homeschool journey.

[mom23]

I still remember the day that I, as a newbie, asked my good friend (a more experienced homeschool mom) about this issue. She gave me the most encouraging and comforting response. Basically, that at these ages, everything they need socially they can learn with and from their family. The need to learn to respect authority, to share, to love and forgive and serve, to get along well with others (even when others aren't perfectly nice to us). What better place to learn these things than from Mom, Dad, brothers, and sisters? Sounds to me like you're doing plenty with your weekly group activities, and cousins.

[hs.mama07]

Thanks so much for the encouragement ladies. I've read stuff online that says what you're saying, but it's nice to hear it from other moms who have been there!

[my3sons]

One of our primary goals is for our sons to be each other's best friends. Sounds like God has given your 2 sons that wonderful opportunity! I'd embrace it, and begin to think of your sons as not only being siblings, but FRIENDS! We talk this way at our house. It is okay to think of your siblings as your best friends - I do! Both of my sisters are my best friends. Often times, if we as parents talk in this manner, our dc are happy to embrace this idea. If, on the other hand, we are constantly asking them if they are sad that they don't have any friends to play with (as I mistakenly did at one point with my oldest when he was younger ), we make it seem like sibling friendships aren't enough. Why not look at this as a year to build a fabulous friendship between your 2 sons? What a great opportunity! HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[MelInKansas]

I agree with the other ladies' thoughts that part of what makes homeschooling ideal and special is the relationships you have and build with your family. I have always been so struck and impressed by the fact that families that homeschool seem so close-knit, and the children get along well with people of all ages, not just their own age group.

But I am very blessed to live in a community where there is a very strong homeschooling presence, or at least a tight-knit association and co op group, and also that several friends at church, including one of our neighbors who is one of my closest friends, also homeschool so our kids are on a similar journey and can relate to their friends on that level. I would say, seek that out if you can find it. Look for a Homeschool association in your area to join. See if there is already a playgroup, or another group of homeschoolers that meet regularly. In the summers some of my friends, homeschooling and not, had a weekly park date when the weather was nice. This fellowship, for the parents as well as the children, is so special and encouraging to us, and I think it is helpful for our kids to learn to interact with others in whatever ways we can help them do so. I'm thankful and I think this is because of our involvement at church and with the other homeschoolers that even my very introverted daughter gets out and makes friends and knows how to interact with other children and adults.

[hs.mama07]

Thanks Melissa, your community sounds wonderful! I actually just found a co-op that has a class for 4 yr olds--such a God thing. I knew about the co-op but had been told it started in Kindergarten...but on a (divine) whim I called just to make sure. They have a K4 class--which explains the confusion--and they had one spot left. So excited to start getting to know other homeschool families!