Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

This is where new posts begin. All questions or discussions about any of Heart of Dakota's curriculums start here. If you wish to share a one-time post about your family's experience with our curriculum, you may post under the specific curriculum title (found beneath this "Main Board" heading).
Post Reply
Starla
Posts: 76
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:14 am
Location: Near Branson, Missouri

Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by Starla » Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:24 pm

Can you ladies talk me into homeschooling? It's really where my heart is at - and I'm loving teaching my dd (5). We're going through LHTH right now. But she's also going to a public pre-K/3days/week - 3hours/day. I'm also teaching one of my sons, (going through Bigger), but my other child with aspergers is going to a small private Christian school which his working well for him. Next year we will continue on with the boys where they're at, but am really struggling with teaching my girl at home or not. She has sensory issues, is seeing an OT and a speech therapist on a regular basis and is super active/wiggly with attention issues. She would probably do well with homeschooling.....the real question is, I don't know whether I can handle it or not. Public school would require longer hours of sitting - which I'm not sure she can do. I feel like LHFHG is active enough with short spurts of sitting, so it would be good for her. I'm just not sure what to do with a very active 5 year old with special needs, (she's ALWAYS into things/trouble unless I actively find things for her to do). Right now, when she goes away to school - I can "recharge". If I homeschool, I don't forsee that kind of time happening.

My mother-in-law stays with us in separate quarters downstairs. She's not real mobile, but she's been starting to help my ds with Bigger. She understands how the boxes work, and ds enjoys spending time with her as well. Am thinking that maybe if he can become more independent next year with Preparing and with her helping him in some reading, etc - that maybe that would free me up enough to help my dd the way she needs to be.

She requires a lot of swinging/jumping/sensory exercises, etc. in order to stay focused. So "school" will require much more than "going through the boxes". Not sure what I'm asking here - except for some wisdom from some of you who have been there and done it. With responsibilities and emotionally being drained with my asperger's boy as well, am feeling overwhelmed. :( I know that Jesus doesn't give us more than what He gives us grace for - so need to reach out in faith to Him and believe that He's going to get us as a family through this. Also, am reminding myself that He has always proved Himself in the past, but it's never BEFORE the situation - it's during it. So if He asks us to walk this road, He will enable.

Sometimes I wonder if her staying in school and receiving special services there might be better, (we've had well meaning friends advise us to do so), but everything in me cries out against it. I don't want her to be exposed to ugly stuff at this big school and really love HOD's Biblical, gentle, and fun approach. She has such a sensitive tender gentle heart. Are there any of you out there that can tell me that indeed even though it's a harder road - it has been the best one for you and your special needs child?
Starla
Wife of wonderful husband
Mother of 2 boys and 1 girl (LHFHG)
Homeschooling and loving it!

psreit
Posts: 1034
Joined: Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:17 am
Location: Pennsyvania

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by psreit » Tue Mar 06, 2012 11:14 pm

My daughter has some sensory processing and attention problems. I started out homeschooling her and it was not fun. She was also getting OT at the time and struggled very much in her reading and writing. She would frustrate to the point where she would refuse to do the work. I decided to put her in our Christian school. There were some positive aspects to it, but the most important thing that I realized was that she needed to be home with me. Her special needs were not recognized, so it was treated more as a behavioral problem. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle the homeschooling, but I was determined to make it work. To make a long story short, the Lord allowed me to find HOD. As soon as I looked it over, I knew it was what we needed.

Yes, we have our days of frustration, but I am very pleased with the progress dd has made these past (almost) two years in HOD. The whole method; short lessons, living books, hands-on, etc. is working very well. But the most important aspect of teaching her at home is the Bible and character training she is getting. Although she can be very bull-headed and argumentative at times, deep down she has a very loving, sensitive, and giving spirit within her. I know she loves the Lord with all her heart, and I know that love has been nurtured through teaching her from HOD. Putting her in a public school would destroy that. She is very vulnerable and so easily influenced by others. I am willing to 'put up with' the frustrations in school work to make sure she has a strong foundation in her spiritual life.

You are the only one who can make the decision whether or not to homeschool. But, I must say that you are in a very good position if you have help with your son. The Lord will give you peace in your decision. :)
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. III John 4
Pam
dh 33 yrs
ds29 church planter in MA
dd27 SAH mom
dd26
dd 12
3 dgs(5,2, & born 6/15) & 2 dgd(3 & born 2/15)

MeadowWay
Posts: 34
Joined: Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:01 pm
Location: northern pa

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by MeadowWay » Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:20 am

We also have been called by the Lord to have the honorary role of parenting a "special boy" He is currently 8.5 and 1st gr.We began using Beyond just 7 weeks ago. Up until that time , we were painstakingly introducing phonemes and using a pencil and forming letters after using LHTH. He has had several diagnosis from the experts ranging from "high-functioning autistic " to "wild-child" . To us: he is our son, given to us as a gift in our golden years... He has a bright mind, but very little ability to focus, he has multiple sensory issues, and corners the market on moving. Short, engaging lessons are all he can seem to handle. And that is with several either "snack or play breaks" in between. We live in the northeast, so we find ourselves indoors a good percentage of the time. We do "school" in our large family room ,where we house a rebounder, elliptical exercise machine, and my husband built a floor balance beam. These are accesible to him at any given time. I forgot to mention a table with lots of legos. By having these available to him, it allows him to work the wiggles out, and he loves to jump on the rebounder and recite his memory verses. When I read aloud to him, sitting at his lego tables seems to be the choice activity. But I do require him sitting time of course beside me while reading from his phonics book, and also handwriting time. If his noise level is drowning out my reading voice, I just stop reading and that and an occasional raising my voice, gets his attention to pay attention ,(though at times short-lived, only to be repeated and repeated) I also have a 15 yr old with learning issues, who requires lots of directing as well. Yes, I only have 2 children remaining in the home, but 5 out of home, and even though they are independent, they still require mommy time, to either counsel, or comfort with. I am also a pastor's wife, and though I have my calls go to the answering machine, I do return calls on our lunch break or if urgent will pick them up. I can say having a routine (but not regimented) is very helpful for our son.
Have I ever had doubting times that I can do all this? Absolutely, yes, When I began this school year, 2011-2012, I told my husband, that if we didn't see a breakthrough with our son by Dec. that I felt I had no choice but to send him to a school. , because then maybe he was beyond my abilities. (and energy levels, I am 62) If you asked me again in Oct. it was looking like it was headed that way. But something began to happen, he no longer resisted holding a pencil. and began to enjoy forming letters, via my sitting beside him with a whiteboard and verbally directing them into existence. and his curiousity piqued about those letters making words in the book. So I knew the light was beginning to go on and now it was time to go" Beyond "for him.. and that is where Mar. finds us, in Beyond, slowly beginning to read, begging for me to read more of Squanto, wanting to go outside to check if our tulips were up after reading about tulips in Holland, racing his matchbox cars along the masking tape number line on our family room floor as he does math..One other thing I will add , because of the physical demands he requires, we felt that a 4 day week was enough for us. My husband insists me and our 15 yr old take the other day off and we go off for a "girls day out" (flute lesson, lunch, grocery shopping, etc etc etc) and they have "boys day" at home. This is a tremendous luxury so to speak but it has been an answer fo rus all This is our journey and its been a long time to get here and with lots of continued prayer we take one day at a time. I know this is long, but I wanted to give you a peek into our lives to share how we do it. It may not be for everyone's situation, and I am willing to say for us, it too may be only for a season. But we want to avail ourselves to the season the Lord is leading us in.
KK

spidermansmum
Posts: 611
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:10 am
Location: UK

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by spidermansmum » Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:04 am

Hugs
I have a selection of different needs children.I have at least one on the Autism spectrum .I think the best answer I can give you is - Yes you can do this- if God is calling you,he will equip you too.Now for a long time I wondered if I was called,and I spent a lot of time in prayer and reading Gods word. I really think this is essential ,because once you know this is the direction God wants you to go then you do it because your called to this.Your calling gives you the strength not to buckle under self doubts when they come.
I hope this helps.
- Delighted to have used LHTH,LHFHG and Beyond, Bigger , Preparing and DITHOR
currently Using
LHTH slowly with my 2 year old
Starting Bigger with my 8 y/o About to add on DITHOR
Finishing Preparing with my 12year with ASD/LD

my3sons
Posts: 10702
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:08 pm
Location: South Dakota

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by my3sons » Sun Mar 11, 2012 1:37 pm

I'm teary-eyed reading this. I can see why God chose each of you very special ladies for this purpose - you are all amazing! He could not have chosen better. These ladies really have some incredibly wise advise that you can read and reread and ponder, Starla. I would pray, pray, pray about it - every single day. You have some time before next year, and I do believe the Lord will make clear His will.

I think it would be helpful to figure out how much "help" you can count on. Your mother-in-law sounds open to helping with your ds, so maybe take a look at PHFHG, and see what she could do that would help the most. You can then show her and get her take on it. I think she sounds like she'd be open to continuing helping, and would really enjoy it, but if you knew for sure what she could do, that may help you visualize your days.

Will your dd still receive OT and speech services? If so, would that be at home or at the school? My ds had speech therapy for several years, and the speech teacher came to our home. This was a state funded program, so I know it probably isn't available everywhere.

MeadowWay made a wonderful point about schooling 4 days a week and having the fifth day to do something on her own with her dd to de-stress. I think this would be a good thing for you to plan for yourself too. As homeschool moms, we always say we can't do that, don't have the time, don't have the resources, but usually that is not true. With a little creative planning, it can be done, and finding that time to de-stress is often what keeps us homeschooling in the long run. So, how could you carve out some planned time each week to simply de-stress? An afternoon? An evening? A weekend day or night? Could dh help somehow, or is he not able? My dh travels all of the time, so he does not help this way, but we did decide together to hire a homeschool gal to watch the dc an afternoon or two each week. This is when I run all my errands and do any appointments I have. We also try to go on a date together at least once a month. I also try to do something with my sister once a week, often for a few hours in an evening. These few things help me de-stress and make a world of difference in my weeks homeschooling. I work part-time, and my dh travels overnight many evenings, so these "helps" are incredibly important to me. I think you will need to plan time to de-stress - how could you best do this?

LHFHG will be fine. It is active, has short lessons, is engaging, and is an excellent program. I'm not concerned about that being a good fit - I'm more concerned about you. So, yes - I do think you can do this! :D I do think God will equip you to do it! :D I do think LHFHG will be a great guide for your dd! :D I do think you've received wise counsel here in the ladies' advice! :D BUT, I do think you need to plan for "help" to be in place, and a little research on what everyone is willing to do to make this happen would go a long way to making the year go well. I am praying for you in this decision, Starla. May God continue to be your guide, and may He make clear His will for your decision!

In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

Starla
Posts: 76
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:14 am
Location: Near Branson, Missouri

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by Starla » Mon May 28, 2012 10:30 pm

I am amazed at the Lord's timing. Am still struggling, not sure what to do about my little girl's schooling and not sure I wanted to revive an old post here, but I never saw your last post here, Julie - until tonight....what - almost 2 months later! :oops: Guess I didn't "check" the notification when a reply is posted. :oops: Was thinking about posting again, then reread my old posts, and the Lord used your post to at least let me know that He is with me in all of this.

I sat with my daughter in an indoor "tent" and went through some of "The Reading Lesson" today. To make it more interesting, typed the words on computer, cut them out, and then printed out pictures of the word she was working on. Laying on the floor of her "tent" she matched the correct words to the pictures.... I was amazed at her ability to concentrate, and her ability to actually read the words. We spent close to a 1/2 hour and she didn't want to quit. Again, it's obvious to me that she could handle homeschool...but can I?

I had really wanted to be able to send her to the small Christian school that my son is going to - but during open house and after seeing all the Abeka work they do, realized that it would be way too much seatwork for her, and she would be frustrated like crazy trying to get her letters and numbers written down. (her fine motor skills are below level at this point) Starting tomorrow AM, she's going to "summer school" at the public school for about 4 weeks. I'm using it as an "experiment" to see if she can handle it or not. If necessary, we can pull her out early. However her public pre-K special ed teacher already approached me privately to say that she thinks public kindergarten will be too much sensory overload for her and strongly suggested I homeschool her. This came from a public school teacher who knows my dd well - so I take that pretty strongly to heart!

So it looks like public Kindergarten is most likely out, as well as this small Christian school because of Abeka curricululm....which leaves me with only the homeschooling option. Just thinking about homeschooling her, and having her here at home 24/7 wears me out. (because of her needing constant supervision... I'm an older mom here - at almost 48 years of age with a 5 year old special needs daughter) So all that to say, your words Julie, couldn't have come at a better time... I will truly give thought and prayer to how we could work out a "de-stress" time once a week. Feel like that could be a major key to making all this work... So will be looking to see if my dh, my mother-in-law, and even the bigger community like friends and homeschool teens could help out on a regular basis to give a little time off. It's a little humbling, but at this point, I know I need the Lord's help and strength - can't do this alone! Appreciate prayer for me in this regard as it looks like more than this unorganized wife and mother can handle right now..... But have to come back to the fact that as the Lord calls - He also enables!
Starla
Wife of wonderful husband
Mother of 2 boys and 1 girl (LHFHG)
Homeschooling and loving it!

LynnH
Posts: 1846
Joined: Sun Jan 25, 2009 12:41 pm
Location: OH
Contact:

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by LynnH » Tue May 29, 2012 6:18 am

I think your idea to find someone like a homeschooled teen to give you a break once a week is a great one. I know my dd who wants to major in special ed would love doing something like that. She helps out our neighbor that homeschools and has a ds with learning struggles by going down and playing with him outside or taking him on walks. She also has done his math and reading lesson with him on occasion or a read aloud with him.

I am one that said I could never homeschool. My ds has mild CP and thought he could get more at the school. He doesn't fit anything they are used to seeing with CP so they didn't have a clue what to do with him. He endured bullying and a mean 2nd grade teacher. He told me in 3rd grade that he was going to come home and get homeschooled for 5th grade. I laughed and told him that God would really have to do a work in my heart for that to happen. He looked at me with all confidence and said "He will." Well God did in ways I never imagined. I actually love homeschooling. My dd was in 9th when my ds came home and she said "Don't ever think you will homeschool me." Well half way through 9th she said "Mom I would like to come home next year." God prepared both of us for that journey and I wouldn't trade these past 2 years with her for anything. She has ADD, but she is on medicine that helps her concentrate (medicine was her choice). I say all this to say you will be amazed at how God can help you on this homeschooling journey. I will lift you up in prayer.
Mom to:
dd 22 college graduate and employed as an Intervention Specialist
ds 18 US2, Loved Preparing, CTC , RTR , Rev to Rev, MTMM ,WG, WH and US1
http://www.graceandfur.blogspot.com/

MicheleW
Posts: 87
Joined: Mon May 24, 2010 1:11 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by MicheleW » Tue May 29, 2012 7:35 am

I just wanted to say that I have a DS (12) with autism. We started out in PS. He went for K-2nd. He was on an IEP and was getting some services at school (mainly special ed reading). He also goes to therapy at a place called Fraser Center where they work with ASD kids. In 2nd grade, he was in an especially large class. He also has attention issues, so he was very distracted by all the other kids. Because of his reading issues, he was getting further behind than he needed to in math, science, etc simply because he couldn't read the material (or even the directions). And he was starting to get teased for his differences. I would get a call from the nurse several times a month that he had a "stomach ache" and I should come get him.

I was very nervous to try homeschooling him (I was already teaching an older sib at home) because of his special needs, but I felt God calling me to do it. I prayed about it some more. Finally, I pulled him out. He still goes to PS for one hour each day, where he works with the special ed reading teacher. Because he is on an IEP, a bus brings him to school and home again. There are only 3 or 4 other students in this reading class, so he gets the one-on-one attention he needs. I really felt like reading is the key to everything else, and I was not having much success in this one area. (Plus, because it is so frustrating for him, we have more battles trying to get him to read. He is much more compliant for his teacher.)

There are days where I wish he could be at PS. He also has a mood disorder, so he tantrums several times a day. This can make it hard to even get school done with my other kids (I have 3 others at home as well.) Part way through this year I started thinking about putting him in PS more (he does so well with his reading teacher, maybe he would benefit from more classes). I prayed about it and asked my Bible study to pray. I again felt God telling me to keep him home. I realized I was only thinking of sending him to give myself a break and not to benefit him.

So we decided that next year he will continue to get reading help at PS, but for the rest of the day, he will be home. I read his history and science aloud. He has gotten to the point now, where he can read his math directions, but he still needs me to sit next to him or he forgets what he is doing. He will get half-way through a math problem and forget it was multiplication and start adding or something. If I remind him, he can do almost anything in his 5th grade math book (except story problems which have no meaning whatsoever to him!)

I have now been homeschooling him for 4 years. There are very difficult days, but I know the Lord is with me. He will not ask me to do anything He will not equip me to do. I am glad that I can give my son the individual attention he needs, but most of all I am glad that he can be with his mommy who loves him (instead of a bunch of middle schoolers who tease him), and I am glad that he can spend his day learning about God's love for Him. This is more important to me than how well he does academically.

God bless you. The Lord sees your heart and will bless your sacrifice. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. (Heb 13:5)
Michele
DS 10th M2M w/extension
DD 7th RTR w/extension

Starla
Posts: 76
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:14 am
Location: Near Branson, Missouri

Re: Homeschool vs. public school for special needs...

Post by Starla » Tue May 29, 2012 8:19 am

Thank you, Michelle and Lynn for your recent posts... I just dropped her off this morning at the public K and wanted to cry.... :cry: Some 120+ students in the cafeteria for my sensory child...talk about overload! We'll see how her day goes once she gets into a quieter classroom. But am really believing that homeschool will be the best for her. Yes, she has an IEP as well - and is receiving speech therapy at school. I already talked to the school about that and she can continue to receive those services even if I homeschool her. That in and of itself would give me a little break. And yes, I homeschool our middle child. (finishing up Bigger) He will be in "Preparing" this fall. He and I really like home school and wouldn't want it any other way. :) Thank you for the reminder of Heb. 13:5. I really needed that this AM. Also is encouraging to know that there are other homeschool moms out there with special need kids who are doing it because God asks them to do it, and the Lord gives what is necessary to do it....even in the midst of meltdowns, the need for continual planned activities, constant supervision, etc. There are no easy roads, but there is One who holds my hand, shows the way, and carries me through....
Starla
Wife of wonderful husband
Mother of 2 boys and 1 girl (LHFHG)
Homeschooling and loving it!

Post Reply