Trying to decide which way to go...

[leimarie]

I know it's been incredibly long since I posted.

We made the switch to HoD and began schooling with it in August. I stagger-started the children in Little Hearts, Beyond and Preparing. We welcomed our 6th child, a little girl we named Miranda, in September. She went into crisis at birth and spent her 28 days on full life support. We said goodbye to our precious daughter in October.

We took the fall off from schooling.

We started again in January. Needless to say not every week is productive. We are only on units 5 or 6 in each of the levels. I feel a little stuck. We are sticking with HoD, that isn't even a question! I'm so thankful for the structure that HoD is providing us. It was truly a blessing to just be able to pick it up and move forward when we restarted in January. Where I feel stuck is that it is quite obvious that we will not finish our guides this year. How do I do this? We already know that we will not be taking the whole summer off, but I'm enough of a realist to know we won't get full weeks done easily through the summer.

I currently have a kindergartener and a 1st grader in Little Hearts, it is a perfect fit for them and they're both girls and work well together.

I have a second grader in Beyond and it is working really well for him. I am amazed at the growth and progress he's made even just 5 units in!!

I have a 4th grader in Preparing. Skill wise he fits perfectly, though he does drag his feet a bit (he's a boy, not really a big fan of written work though he's FULLY capable!). Had I known what we were going to face this past fall I probably would have gone with Bigger for him just to relieve some of my stress. I am not sure if we leave Preparing now though. I know he's able to do it, he's 6 units in and I am super impressed for what he's learned.

Not really sure what I'm trying to figure out though. I guess my hangup is a calendar issue. I don't want to be changing levels mid-school year. I know it probably doesn't really matter, but it matters to me. Do I have him go through Preparing at half speed so that he finishes it at the end of 5th grade while we keep going full speed at language arts and math? What does that mean for my children in other levels?

Has anyone else had to take extended time off mid-year? How did you recover the time?

Thanks,
Lisa

[mskogen]

I am very sorry to hear of your sweet Miranda. I pray God's comfort for you and your family. We lost a little girl last year as well and this verse was very helpful to me. James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.

To answer your question about the guides. I would recommend you finish each guide and start the next when ever you finish, whether it be mid-year. I started Beyond with my ds6 in January. The guides have skills that prepare for the next guide. Therefore you would not want to skip the end of a guide. I wouldn't rush to finish either. I know it is hard to let go of the start a new guide with each new school year. However it is one of the benefits of homeschooling. We can allow for moments in life to happen. You also might catch up just be extending each year until caught up. Don't forget to take some breaks or all will experience burn-out. You shared that your children are thriving in the guides and learning. That is the goal. I will praying for you for peace and comfort in all your life.

[Molly]

Lisa, first of all, I am so sorry to hear about your precious Miranda. That must be so incredibly hard.

Next, all I can suggest is ditch the calendar hang up. Just go with the flow. As long as your blossoms are moving forward in there work, it will be fine. If you have concerns about your son in Preparing, do what you suggested with the half speed, and if you feel a need, add in some of the extension books for the second half of the guide, probably just as extra reading. Preparing is a fabulous guide. My oldest daughter just finished Unit 7 and I too, am amazed at the gains she has made and what she has learnt. And also what I have learnt for that matter. For the children in the other levels, I wouldn't worry. Just keep them moving forward and move on when you finish a guide. I believe God brought you to HOD so that it was one thing you wouldn't have to worry about. Trust in him, he has it in his hands.

God bless you and your family, Lisa. I pray your journey with HOD will continue to be a blessing to you all.

Just to add, I just read mskogen's advice and I think she said it so much better.

[countrymom]

I am so sorry for your loss and will be praying for you. I agree, forget the calendar. We school year around and just go as it is. There is not set time I try to finish or begin a guide, although I do keep track of number of weeks we have done as a sort of accountability. It sounds like your children are where they should be, just keep them there and keep plugging.

[shellbell]

Dear Lisa,
I just wanted to tell you that I am praying for you and your family. My heart just so goes out to you. Our daughter Molly Grace was still born in 2004, so our little girls are both with Jesus.

I understand your concerns over the calendar year, as I have had the same concerns too, as this has been a hard year and we are not as far along as I would like to be and I would really like to start new guides in the fall. However, I have come to the conclusion as the other posters, it's OK, esp. since we basically school year round too, it always works out. And even if we end up spending the first month or two (or more) finishing up a guide it will be fine. My children are learning and progressing and moving forward. We're growing together and I am getting to disciple them in the Lord each day. I've learned that if I try and push and do extra and "catch" up, it often just stresses everyone and then no one is really learning anyway.

As far as your son in Preparing, if you think that slowing down to half speed would be good for him, (not just because of the calendar) then I say feel free, you know what would be best for him. Maybe you'll only slow down for a short time, maybe the whole time, I will pray for the Lord's wisdom for you.

For your littles (and maybe even your son in Preparing~ although that is a very full day, so I haven't done this with mine who is in Preparing, in fact I did slow him down to 1/2- 3/4 speed (except for math, which he does every school day) for awhile and we're almost up to "full" speed now, but I don't think I would do more than that~ although he does do school 5 days instead of 4, so that is one way to get some "extra" done with out adding stress) on days that it works you can always do maybe one or 2 extra boxes and slowly move forward that way. Again not doing it in a stressful "we have to get this done" way, but more of "Oh we have 15 minutes, why don't we read some more history?" I've done this with my son in LHFHG and he loves it. (He is always begging to read more) Or maybe use some time on a Saturday. I've done that with the "fun" things like Storytime, history readings, art, etc. (Mainly on the Saturdays that my hubby needs to go to work). Again never as "we've got to get this done so we have to do school on a Saturday", but just relaxed hanging out time together. If you wanted to do something like math on a Saturday make it fun or maybe have a special treat afterwards. You know you, your family and your children best and I wouldn't do it if you think it will stress your children or you or make them not like school or Saturdays of course! I'm just sharing some things that we have done, since you asked for ways to make up time and I am not saying you should do these things~ they are just simple ideas if you feel the Lord leading you in that way. We don't do these things often, but sometimes and only continue because my boys enjoy it and it is not hampering their desire to learn or do school.

So all that to say, keep enjoying your children, keep moving forward as you can, even just one step at a time (or one box at a time ). As they say it was the turtle who won the race. Even though he went slower, he kept moving on. Take the breaks when you need to, do just half a day when needed and don't feel bad. Don't rush things, it's not worth it, as I know you know. They'll get so much more out of it. The Lord is with you! He will give you the wisdom you need to know when to press on and when to stop for the day.

Praying for you and the Lord's comfort to surround you,
Michelle

[frankesense]

First of all, I am praying God's comfort and grace over all of you as I'm typing.

I agree with all the previous posters in saying that it really doesn't matter when you start or finish a guide. When I first started homeschooling I know that it would have really bothered me but since I've moved to HOD I have felt more grace to just keep moving along and starting the new guide once we're finished - no matter where it falls during the year. HOD was a great fit for our family but with other circumstances in our lives during the Beyond and Bigger guides we had to do a 4 day week, which meant we wouldn't be able to finish it in one school year. To be honest, the kids and I haven't really even noticed. We do also take a break during the summer but we've just picked up wherever we left off. Hope this is helpful.

Blessings,
Stephanie

[mamafox]

I have no advise as I am a total newbie, but Just wanted to say I am so so SO sorry for your loss.
Praying for continued peace for you and Your family.
hugs

[psreit]

I'm sorry about your sweet baby girl. Although we don't always understand, God's grace is sufficient. Praying your family is finding peace and comfort in knowing you will see her again.

I know it has been said by every pp, but I will add another 'don't worry about the calendar'. I was determined to get Beyond done this year, but it looks like we will have 6 weeks to finish in the fall. It was bugging me, but I came to the point where I let it go and decided I wasn't going to cram to get it done. I want to finish the guide and I want dd to enjoy it and gain the most from it, which means pacing it to fit her needs. I'll do the same with Bigger. We will work at that half speed for a while and will just work in that until the guide is completed. Enjoy HOD! God bless!

[leimarie]

Thanks ladies.

DH and I spoke this afternoon about how we proceed. We both agree that HoD is exactly were God wants us right now. He's supportive of switching our oldest to Bigger if we think it will help him enjoy learning and give him a slower adjustment to the requirements of Preparing or just continuing on with Preparing and slowing to half-pace with it because honestly either option would totally work. It's clear the rest of the children are right where they need to be. Yes, I need to let go of the calendar for the rest of this year and the coming one and just realize that the life lessons we've learned this year have taken the place of traditional schooling and that is I let this year flow into next we will end up right where we need to be. My oversight group and reviewers are not placing any pressure on us. They have been incredibly encouraging and understanding. I just need to get over my hang-ups.

[my3sons]

Lisa - I just wanted you to know I have prayed for you. Your little Miranda will be remembered - she will live on in your hearts and in heaven. She remains a precious child of God. I know it is hard to go on, but God will continue to strengthen you a little more each and every day - I wish I could give you a hug or help in some more significant way, but please know you are in my prayers.

Thinking about your dc, it sounds like you have done a wonderful job of choosing guides for each of them. In regard to your ds in PHFHG, your dh and you have come to a good conclusion for him - either BHFHG or half-speed PHFHG. I think I'd opt for half-speed PHFHG for awhile, but you will know best. I'd honestly not try to determine just how long to go half-speed right now. I've gone half-speed in many guides for this or that reason for a season, and one thing I have learned, you just will know when it is time to go full-speed again, and 99% of the time, it won't be when you expected it. The only guide I've ever gone half-speed the whole time, to complete that guide in 2 years, is LHTH. Every single other guide we've gone half-speed with for awhile just all of the sudden makes clear to me it is time to go full-speed. I really do think you'll know. I hope something here can help.

Love in Christ,
Julie

[ForHisGlory]

Dear Sister-in-Christ,

My momma heart breaks for you. I'm truly tearful and sad about what you have been through, and what you will endure in the years to come. We do have the hope and promises of Jesus! I will be praying for you and your family's grief journey. We too have a child in heaven. Though I only have one child now to homeschool, I do understand a lot of what you have written. When Ethan (7) passed in the summer of 2010 in a tragic accident (and then we moved a few weeks later and then 8 months later we moved again), school went on the way back burner for us. At the time, Evan was only 4.5, so school wasn't a huge ordeal or requirement. In fact, if you search my posts on here, I'm sure you will find me questioning what to do in the midst of crisis and grief, and I was given great guidance from these sweet sisters.

I want to give you a virtual hug and tell you to not push yourself or your precious children too much. Your loss is still so fresh. I do understand that we do need to move forward in life and carry on, but at the same time, we are allowed to cry and process through the trauma. If one of your dc is having an off day, don't feel badly about taking a break. I think the fact that you took off the fall is great, and to slowly ease back into school is fine. If you change guides mid-year, I think that is completely acceptable. As I am sure you have read and/or been told many times, grief has no timeline. There will be periods of time that are "normal" and then grief will slip up on you and nearly take your breath away--at least, this have been my experience.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can pray with you or give you encouragement!

Love in Christ,
Shannon
jwallace9@gmail.com

[leimarie]

Julie, Thank you so much. As a family we have coveted the prayers of believers through this storm. We continue to be amazed at the stories that are revealed to us of how a life lived for only 28 days had such far reaching. We are going to go ahead with Bigger for the our oldest. I should have followed the advice given last year when deciding placement. I was too tied to the rigor and challenge the work would give to my child. This year has taught us what is truly important for eternity. Talk about rearranging our priorities. I now really understand why God has called our household to home-school.

Shannon, big tight hugs right back to you. The sisterhood of believers that have also lived this trial of the loss of a dear child has been such a gift of God's mercy to me. It's something you'd never wish for but when you need it you are so thankful it is there. Thank you for sharing your heart. I know the road ahead is not an easy one but I know my Savior walks with us. I continue to face each day and continually lay my moments at His feet. The hunger He has given me for Heaven by bringing my little girls there is something I never truly understood before this. I'm so thankful for the clear reminder that this is NOT our "home" and this life is a moment compared to eternity. <3