Independence in upper guides doesn't equal less interaction

[LynnH]

There is a lot of talk on here about how the Upper Guides have more Independence which they do, but I see on other boards where people think that means no more couch time or good conversations with your dc. That hasn't been the case at all at our house. In fact I think our conversations are even better because he wants to share with me things he knows I haven't directly read. So today out of curiosity I wrote down all the times we either did something together or talked together. Much of this is accomplished when he brings his independent work to me for checking. If others have ideas of how they still keep that interaction going with their older dc I would love to see them. So here is how today went in order.
1. Asked me for help thinking through a tougher Bible Study question. Led to a short but great conversation about God working bad things for good.
2. Started a new Mr. Pipes book for storytime on the couch together and fondly recalled last years Mr. Pipes book and our favorite characters in this series. Like seeing an old friend again.
3. Orally narrated his Science reading to me and asked the meaning of one word while reading which led to his sister chiming in with her knowledge after his narration and a conversation about how cool the subject he is studying is.
4. Did IEW together
5. Instructed him in Math (we use a different Math).
6. He read his reading about history independently and did his notebooking, but then shared some of what he learned as I checked his notebook work.
7. Practiced his oral presentation assignment from Rod and Staff for me.
8. Dictation we do together
9. Independent history box and Research postcard he showed me when he was done and verbally answered the question to me that was posed in the Independent history box. Again a short, but good conversation about artists followed.
10. Again on the couch to do Boyhood and Beyond with a very good conversation about not being a bystander in life.

We have many conversations throughout the day. They aren't long, but I always know what he is studying and what he thinks the interesting things are. It is so fun to hear him as he "teaches" me things he knows I may not know.

[Molly]

Thank you Lynn, this is exactly what I had been thinking would happen in upper levels, and just didn't know how I could defend it as I haven't been there, done that, but it is how I picture what will happen in our house. I guess it all depends on how well you interact with your kids anyway. I can not imagine a time when we aren't having discussions about things and I see that as having a cosy homeschool atmosphere. I also imagine many discussion around the meal table so the blossoms can fill DH in on what is going on.

[KristinBeth]

Great post, Lynn! I think that is a concern among many homeschoolers who are concerned about "too much independence" and losing that together time. Independence sounds great to me but it's nice to see the interaction and meaningful discussions you are having with your son, without having to be "teaching" or reading aloud for a huge chunk of your day. HTH!

[rockhouse]

I really needed to hear this. Thank you!

We are loving HOD, but I start to doubt myself and my decision.
That is when I start living in fear instead of Christ's victory.

Blessings,
Chelli

[3sweeties]

I agree completely, Lynn! I have begun to see this in my DS (we have just started our 3rd HOD program) and I love it that he comes to me multiple times throughout our school day to say, "Mom, did you know..." and "I'm not sure what the answer is for this, what do you think?" My DS LOVES having his independence at the same time which is why HOD works so well for us. I love it that he is also learning to study and learn without me having to "hold his hand" for everything -- I want to cultivate a love for learning in him, that he would know how search for answers on his own, and yet for him to always feel confident that he can come to me for my input/perspective. Thanks for this post!

[LovingJesus]

Thank you for this post! We are loving HOD, and this is a piece of it I was a little concerned about. Thank you for taking the concern away. It sounds like a very expanded version of what he does now with books he reads. He likes to share what he reads with mom & dad.

Thank you for the encouragement!

[LynnH]

We are on our 3rd HOD guide also and I think since all along we have had discussions about what he is learning it is just natural that now when he is doing more on his own those discussions continue just in a slightly different way. Before I was guiding the discussions more and now he is. Yes it looks different than it did when he was younger, but that isn't a bad thing. It is less hand holding and more encouraging him in his studies and almost being more of a partner in his learning. I think something else that is key is I stay excited about what he is learning and I act interested in what he is sharing. ( I now know more about the weapons and armor that knights used than I ever thought I wanted to know )That keeps him wanting to discuss things with me. He does do most of his school on the same floor as I am on. He may go in a different room to do his math so he can concentrate and if his sister is being loud he might do his bible time up in his room, but otherwise he is close by and makes it easy for him to share.

[Heather4Him]

Great post, and so true! Just like our natural relationships with our kids matures and grows, so does our interaction during their schooling. HOD is a wonderful complement to that!

[Tree House Academy]

I agree with you. There is more independence, which I truly relish. My older son is able to do so much of his work without my input or help. However, I find that we really bond over some of the material we cover now. In RTR, which he is using this year, we really get some great stuff from Boyhood and Beyond. I adore that book and it seems that each lesson really hits on something that my ds is working on in his own life at that time. We also both really enjoy the story time. Since I have two children in HOD, I sometimes only do one storytime. However, I find that the history related selections that Carrie made in the older guides are just awesome and ds12 and I have enjoyed those so much. God King, Traveling the Way, Jashub's Journal, The Boy of the Pyramids, and The Golden Bull were all hits from CTC...and this year, we have loved Forbidden Gates, Mystery of the Silver Coins (which led to DS and I BOTH reading the entire Viking Quest series for fun!), and Ink on His Fingers. I am sure there will be others we love before year's end.

So yes, lots of time still to learn and enjoy with the kids...but all while they are developing that independence they need to succeed in college!

[golfmom]

My oldest is actually doing a lot of Bigger on her own. She's a typical older child. Very bright and independent. I love that because my middle child needs a lot of my help and my youngest is in kindergarden so I teach every thing myself. That doesn't mean I'm not "plugged" though. After every reading she will hunt me down ( even in the bathroom! )and tell me everything she read. She loves it because she gets to "teach" me something new. I always love watching her face as she gets so excited to tell me what happens next. If I taught every little thing I would miss that and she would miss out on some very important skills. I think Carrrie has done a great job of slowly introducing independence. We use Rod and Staff for grammar and CLE for math. In total she probably does 1/3 to maybe 1/2 of her work by herself. For us its the perfect balance between doing everything for her and expecting her to do everything herself.

I do think it takes a little bit of time to find your balance with each of your kids. I started the year teaching Madalyn everything. Pretty quickly we both realized that it wasn't working. So we ajusted it. Now Haley of the otherhand is no where near ready to do anything remotely on her own next year. Possibly the next year either. Each kid learns differenly and progresses at different speeds. A great thing about Heart of Dakota is that each child can progress at their own speed. So while Madalyn is already semi-independet Haley might not be ready for many years. I'm able to give both girls a tailor made education using the same curriculum. How awesome is that? Thank you God and thank you Carrie!

[my3sons]

... In fact I think our conversations are even better because he wants to share with me things he knows I haven't directly read. So today out of curiosity I wrote down all the times we either did something together or talked together. Much of this is accomplished when he brings his independent work to me for checking. If others have ideas of how they still keep that interaction going with their older dc I would love to see them. So here is how today went in order...

You inspired me to jot down our interactions in order for RevtoRev as well. This is from one day's worth of plans - keep in mind activities rotate, so if this was a different day, you'd see discussions on "Biblical Worldview", oral narrations from history, creative writing we worked on together, etc. - things rotate, so this is a snapshot of just one day - not every day...
1. he showed me the balance scale he is building for "Exploration Education" and explained how it would work, I checked his work in Science Log
2. read me the last stanza of the Marine Hymn and told me it was the first ever war hymn written, and the author was unknown; we had a great conversation about Noel's dedication to hard work (a handyman we know that has done work for us that was in the marines); we also talked about the draft; Papa being in the Army, and my dh being in the Navy; lots of proud to be an American talk from my ds!
3. showed me a fish sketched by Lewis on the computer, asked what region we're in to click on enature.com, showed me his American eel he sketched, little brother popped in to shout "Wow! Wyatt's eel looks GREAT!"
4. showed me his Sacagawea drawing in Student Notebook and told me about her marriage to French trader and hard times she had
5. we did dictation together
6. we did R & S English together
7. said all of his Bible passage from Hebrews for me (up to 22 verses now ) and shared he loves his prayer starters, would I like one for my Bible Quiet Time in the mornings? Yes - I thought that was a great idea!
8. helped him figure out DITHOR game pieces for his board game he is making for his final unit project; he told me he was choosing USA figure from his "Axis and Allies" game for Bree and a Great Britain figure for Keeley as their relationship was similar; talked about making a Key for his board game for the difficulties Bree faced in "The Invisible Friend" (i.e. rope, fog, tacks)
9. he read his written narration out loud for me; talked about Bessemer and how pig iron was worthless but his invention made it into strong iron that sold for a lot of money
10. did math together
11. discussed historical painting using questions in guide
12. discussed "Seaman" using questions in guide
13. listened to Strauss II classical music together, he recognized it as being the music in the animated movie "The Three Musketeers", listened to "The Blue Danube" and did a little waltz together (I know, goofy, but I told him Dad and I used to waltz together ), talked about how Gounod's "Romeo and Juliette" music reminded him of "Tales of Shakespeare" which he read a year ago in HOD; noted composer Smetana was born after and died before Gounod, talked about how we shouldn't hold a magnet near our CD's (or credit card) as this would erase information (a carryover from physical science)
14. told me the Michigan coastline was longer than the coastline from ??? to ??? (I can't remember!) , which somehow made him think back to something about Thomas Jefferson he read a few weeks ago about how Jefferson wore common clothes and people loved this so much that thousands sent him cheese

We also have many conversations throughout the day. I agree, they aren't long, but I also know what he is studying and what he finds interesting. I like how I am not the "disperser of information". He enjoys sharing his learning with me and certainly shares what he is learning with greater animation and more detail because he knows I didn't do it all with him. I agree, it is incredibly fun to hear him as he "teaches" me things I may not know too - he LOVES that! Thanks for a great post, Lynn!

In Christ,
Julie

[Carrie]

Lynn,

This is a great post on a question that we actually get asked quite often! Whenever we write an HOD guide, it is so important for us to have a balance of "Teacher-Directed" items, "Semi-Independent" activities, and "Independent" activities. While you may see more 'I's in a guide that doesn't necessarily mean more time is spent on "I" activities, it just means that we often keep the 'I' activities shorter, in order for them to be truly indpendent (so it takes more 'I' activities to equal out the minutes spent on 'T' and 'S' activities).

As kiddos progress through our guides, we systematically move skills that we have taught and practiced toward being 'Independent', allowing us to teach and practice new skills in each guide. With this thought in mind, once kiddos are able to read their own history and science material, we desire for them to be doing the reading. This aids in better retention, produces stronger written and oral narrations, increases a child's vocabulary as they see and read difficult words in print, and gives the child a chance to pace the reading as needed to suit his/her specific reading level. We do keep storytime as an area where the parent can cuddle up with the child to share great books, and we tie follow-up skills to the readings.

As homeschool parents, it is so important to realize that we likely have limited time each day in which to formally "teach" our children. If we choose to utilize that precious teaching time with our older children to read aloud material that the children would benefit from reading on their own, then we draw from our well of teaching time by doing a task like reading aloud that isn't really a teaching task. Within our HOD guides, we want to be sure that any task we choose for the teacher to do is truly a teaching task. By allowing the child to read his/her own material, we free up time to teach important things that may otherwise be missed. This allows us to interact with our students in studies like Genesis: Finding Our Roots, or purity studies like Beautiful Girlhood or Boyhood and Beyond, or focus on Biblical worldview through Who Is God?. It allows us to enjoy working through poetry, and art, and music appreciation. We can spend time teaching writing programs, interacting with our grammar lessons, hearing narrations, and dialoguing as the students show us their notebooking. It keeps the focus on interaction with the student that goes far beyond reading aloud.

The design of our guides is also intended to prepare students incrementally for the level of independence that will be needed in high school and college. A high level of reading and following written directions is taught through the 'I' boxes of each HOD guide, and time management is needed to complete the boxes indepedently. The student learns these skills, yet the parent always has a follow-up or a product that is produced, so he/she can monitor a child's progress in every subject area. Students love to move toward taking on more of their own learning as they get older, and our guides tap into that God-given path toward maturity by giving the child a bit more responsibility each year.

We have truly enjoyed the interactions we have with our children at each level of our HOD guides, and I must admit that my younger kiddos who are going through our guides now have had many more opportunities for interaction with me than my oldest son has had as we've tried so many of the various curriculums out there on his homeschool journey. At HOD, we are seeking for "mearningful interaction" moments in every teaching day. We plan for them in each of our guides, so you can know that time is there for you each and every day.

Thanks for sharing ladies!

Blessings,
Carrie

[My7blessings]

I agree! My boys are very excited to tell me all about what they just learned!

[blessedmomof4]

Wonderful! My girls also are always eager to share with my husband and me what they are learning, and we have some wonderful conversations every day