HOD and aspergers?

[Starla]

Am having difficulties with my 9 yr. old ds who has asperger's tendencies.... Have any of you taught 1 child with HOD and the other with something completely different? I have both of my boys doing Bigger together. But am continually running into problems with my oldest. The younger ds who is turning 8 in Dec. is doing great work and loves it. The other son with Asperger's has been having such a hard time of it ... and today was one of those days that his school only partly happened because of a major meltdown. (He's being required to finish his Friday's work tomorrow on a Sat.) It disrupts our entire household and tears me apart to be spending all my energy and emotions on our oldest when the other two need me also. My youngest has some learning difficulties as well and for her not to have any "mommy time" is detrimental to her. DH and I are thinking of putting our oldest either in a small Christian school near us, or changing him to something that is more visual than HOD and very predictable. Something that is computer based since he is very visual and writing is so difficult for him as it is for a lot of AS children.

Am I giving up on HOD for him too early? Do I just need to push on through? Any other moms out there with AS kids who are making HOD work? My husband and I are finally just coming to grips that we truly have a son who has some social, emotional, and learning problems all wrapped up in a very unique wonderful personality. We just don't know how to best help him. Intellectually, he is extremely brilliant, (functioning at a fourth and fifth grade level) yet emotionally and socially he functions at a much lower level. We know God has given him to us - the complete package - for a reason and He has a special job for our boy to do....but at this point we are broken and searching for answers. We definitely need to make some changes....just what changes we're not sure of. Any help any of you might offer would be most appreciated.....

[Mom2Monkeys]

My DD10 doesn't have the official diagnosis from the doc yet, but she most likely has Aspergers, and with that ADD/impulsiveness and Sensory Processing Disorder. She also is brilliant. She's very well read and highly intelligent. She gets concepts well beyond her years, can memorize a song or poem after hearing it once and yet, can't get basic math facts, is socially very immature and basically, much like your son. I could write about her pretty much what you did about your son!

We have rather inconsistently used HOD the last 3 or 4 years. We keep moving or I land on bestest with a difficult pregnancy or whatever...we've just not gotten it done consistently but I can tell you that NOTHING out there works as well as HOD for her. I tried finding things in the midst of the chaotic times to lighten the load and make school smoother, but truth is...it's just not out there. It took some time and some training but now I can see its perfect for her. It's also perfect for my next child, DS7 who is very typical boy except he's a math guru. I've found placing her in a guide at the oldest end of the age range or in the extension range works best. I found a routine, but not a schedule works wonders. (set order but not set times bc she and I both freak out if we get a couple minutes behind), and having the basics all in one spot to flow from one to the next as quickly and easily as possible (we keep all hers in a backpack by the dining table) and getting those basics done FIRST and leaving independent work for last so she doesn't feel her creativity is stiffled by time limits and I'm
Not bothered by her dawdling and/or extremely detailed notebooking pages. Lol. We also are sure to alternate subjects in a way that makes each a stark difference. A nice change. Math and grammar are different but both are thinking subjects as she says and so we do part of math (which she has come to love recently which is a miracle, but those bar models of Singapore are her visual love. ) then we do something like dictation then finish up math, on to Igniting Your Writing while I do math/grammar with DS7, then grammar with her. This varies often. And I have a block of time for the basics and will often let her choose the order bc her mood has a major influence and the control she has over the subject choices help her control her mood. She couldn't say time for history during the basics block, bc I maintain the real control still. It's basics time She has no sense of time so a visual timer has been excellent. It's like a huge kitchen timer, but the numbers are on the edge and not on the dual that turns. So she can keep reference of how much time is left with a glance based on where the dial pointer is (kitchen timers have the red arrow always at top and the numbers on the dial that turns making it hard to actually SEE the visual of the amount of time left) Ours also has a red button at the top that starts rising out of the timer the last few minutes and pops up at the end --it says "time's up".

I'm on my phone so it's hard to stay as organized in my typing bc I can't see what I've already written. So forgive rambling and typos! My phone's auto correct can often prove mean or unfit for society so please let me know of any blaring edits needing made, especially any "bad words" it may have chosen. Seriously a rude little techno-contraption sometimes. LOL

[mamas4bugs]

Tamara,

I appreciated your post very much. Our youngest dd has SPD, APD, and when she was younger, they placed her on the Autism Spectrum, albeit very mildly so. As she grows, I can definitely see more Aspbergers tendencies than true Autism. It's helpful to me to read what those whose older kids have similar issues have done/are doing.

And your phone was very polite.

[Starla]

Thanks, Tamara for your helpful comments. I really like the idea about the timer... I've tried setting our kitchen clock, but to actually have a big timer that is very visual may be quite helpful for my boy. He has a HARD time with notebooking...he absolutely can't stand writing things down - whether it's Math, English, science notebooking/experiments and History notebooking/vocabulary, etc. His brother loves it. Boy 1 still does it, but he thinks so fast, he hates slowing down enough to actually form the words - so his writing tends to be sloppy. I have "Typing Instructor" CD now that he works on 4 days a week learning typing skills and he's picking up on that real fast. Am thinking that keyboarding may be the way that he will be able to put his thoughts down faster than just writing and perhaps will be less frustrating for him. If I can keep the handwriting down to a minimum he's fine. But once he feels it's too much, he shows signs of meltdown, and if I don't do something to curb his frustration at that moment...it's all over.

I've tried sitting beside him while he does his written work - and that helps a little. The biggest problem has been English and math. I started out with Rod and Staff...but even doing most of it oral - he had such a hard time of it. So switched to Bob Jones....talk about meltdowns then. So now tried Christian Light English. It's tolerable for him. He likes it better than both the R & S and definitely better than Bob Jones. On his "good days" he does great at it. On his off days - just doing some basic activities sets him off. (I don't make him do the spelling portion at all on those workbooks because of him doing dictation out of Preparing...which he puts up with)

Another problem I have is the history reading and the read-a-louds . He is such a visual thinker that to ask him to tell me what something is about (narration), he doesn't have a clue, while his brother can handle it well. However, out of desperation, this last week we have started to draw little stick figures on our "lap-whiteboard" and then he "gets it". Why? I don't all know...but that's what someone else on here mentioned and it seems to work for my boy too.

I feel like I'm changing so many things as I go along - and sometimes treading on eggshells depending on what subject and what kind of day he's having. Because he learns so much visually, (he has quite the memory if he "sees" it) am really leaning hard on putting him on time4learning or Switched on Schoolhouse for some of the subjects. I still want him doing most of the left hand side of the page in Bigger and listening to the read-alouds as well as DITHOR and dictation with his brother but the English, Math, and Science perhaps on computer. (Although I'm sad to say we have not tried Singapore math with him. Maybe he would do good with it. We've tried Teaching Textbooks, Abeka, and CLE - all of which are NOT good for how he learns math and it just drives him to frustration)

Okay - I don't know if I made any sense here, and I'm sort of just rambling, but if nothing it helps to get my thoughts out.... Thanks for listening.

[Mom2Monkeys]

MakEs sense! My dd lives drawing for notebooking but also super sloppy with writing. I've let her type the writing portion before and the print and cut/paste to the notebooking page. Or print then draw on the page.

I got her the worksheets for rod and staff grammar so as to relieve some of the writing. We do as much orally as possible. I highly suggest Singapore because it's super visual and my math phobe dd shocked me by progressing leaps and bounds in math using some of their supplemental books as she wasn't ready for dull Singapore and I didn't yet know what to use. She's been doing Process Skills 3 and Visible Thinking 3a and has developed a love of math and challenging word problems!! He LOVES the visual bar models. I'm either going to keep her in these plus add a lightweight basics math supp for the little hogs nt covered in these (which is what I'm doing right now using Math Essentials DVD lessons, or do a quick sweep through full Singapore 3B and jump into 4A. I can't believe how much she's picked up the sodalite way of math in such a short time. I thought we'd never be able to do Singapore. I will use the HIG's though, bc I need the ideas using the manipulatives to give her the visual aspect of learning.

As for history and science and storytime...well, she does best when she follows along or reads it herself. She needs to see it. I have let her draw comic strip style narrations with captions if she chooses to use to give an oral narration. That's helped. She's made huge strides with listening skills and her learning non-visually has improved drastically using HOD. I am a firm believer in k owing your child's leaning style so you can avoid teaching them in mostly that style I want to strengthen her weak learning styles but I can't do that of I teach only to her strength. KWIM? So HOD has let me tweak to teach to that style and slowly let go in baby steps to venture out and make a well rounded learner. Even in my inconsistent application.

I'm a curriculum junkie, was a curriculum advisor. And couldn't be either anymore bc I can't recommend anything besides HOD. IT JUST WORKS! And it works so well an with so many types of learners and teachers.

[Tracee]

Hi Starla,

My son doesn't have Asperger's , so my situation may not be the same as yours, but my son is very visual also. In fact, when we had him tested for dyslexia, it showed that he had the visual skills of someone 11 years 8 months. My son was only 6 years old at the time. It also showed that my ds was deficient in auditory processing skills. For awhile, I struggled and prayed wondering if a literature approach is the best way to educate a child that is extremely visual and struggling to listen to stories. I don't want his whole day to be one huge struggle. I figured if it was, he was going to hate school. Through much prayer, God is showing me how to teach him. I just help him as much as he needs me to. Usually, I have to sit with him while he is writing, doing math, really just about everything. When I tried to force independence, he just got frustrated. But, what I'm noticing now is that he wants to be independent. So if there is something he can do on his own, he will sit down and do it. So, if he struggled to narrate back what I had just read, I modeled it for him. If he was struggling with the amount of writing, I tailored it down a bit and am slowly increasing. I learned that God is so faithful. He showed me which way to go and confirmed it again and again. Actually, he is still confirming it for me. HOD is a great way to educate children with or without learning challenges and also those that are gifted academically. I would encourage you to find out the "why" behind some of things HOD teaches. It helped me a lot.

Also, I had an opportunity to try Time4Learning for free. It really wasn't what I had expected. Honestly, it really isn't any different than putting on an educational video for your children. Educational videos are good, but they have their place. Time4Learning claims to be interactive, but it is as interactive as watching Dora the Explorer. I don't mean that as a criticism either. I just mean, it asks a question and then pauses waiting for you to answer. It just isn't the same as sitting with your child talking about God, history, science, language, math. Through and HOD education, I get to see what my child is thinking, where his heart is, what he might be struggling with. A computer program just can't compete with that.



Edit: I forgot to add, definitely give Singapore a try. It is working so well, because my ds is so visual. We absolutely love it. He tells me math is his favorite subject. He has some memory issues, so he really doesn't learn well with rote memorization. I haven't had to teach one math fact. He is just getting it, by doing it. It actually amazes me.

Pray and ask God for wisdom. He is so gracious and will lead you in the right direction.

HTH,
Tracy

[Starla]

I just want to thank each of you who responded. It has definitely helped me think through some of this. We have decided to go ahead and give Singapore a try. You mentioned it's good on the visuals. Is that just with the Singapore math that HOD recommended? Or is it in some of their supplemental materials like their Processing Skills and Visible Thinking Skills workbooks that you can buy separate from their main math material? Would like to get it ordered ASAP, just not sure whether to get only the student workbook, or get the thinking skills one too.

I feel like some of his frustration is simply coming from getting into some material that is not so easy for him to grasp right away - and when he faces learning challenges - he gets angry. Feel like I need to pick something and stick with it, whether he likes it or not, whether it brings him to tears or not....but he needs consistency. Have decided to use some "time4learning", but only as a supplement to his other work, so as to help him understand better.

We did get him to our family doctor today, and he has referred us to a specialist that will help us in determining whether or not our son would benefit from regular sessions with an occupational therapist or not. I am reminded through all of this that the Lord knows and loves our boy better than we do.... There's that verse in Isaiah that talks about how He "gently leads those that are with young..." I am learning a bit more of what it means to lean on my Shepherd. Again, how I appreciate knowing that there are others out there who face some of these same things. You ladies have truly been an encouragement!