Frustrated

[Starla]

We're new HOD users and started Aug. 1. I thought that maybe by the end of the fourth week that my two boys would be getting the hang of things and starting to enjoy school. We probably made the mistake longer ago of starting them in school a year earlier than what the school system usually does because we thought scholastically they were ready. So even though they are only 7 and 8, soon to be 8 and 9, they are already in third and fourth grades. My oldest has mild aspergers and is a perfectionist. He hates drawing things - he never has enjoyed that sort of thing. My second loves drawing. They are in Preparing. Am wondering if I should have placed them in Bigger. I've tried to take it easy and slow - doing a lot of things orally, not requiring them to write everything in cursive - just part of it, etc. We haven't gotten into DITHOR at all yet. There's been so many new things thrown at them. But both of them will tell you they do not like school. They DO enjoy doing dictation instead of spelling lists, and enjoy the history reading parts. My perfectionist son gets so frustrated in doing some of the clay projects, the drawings, etc - because he can't do it perfectly right, so he'll just sloppily race through it, then get mad when I tell him he has to do it over again. Any suggestions?

I'm thinking strongly I should have chosen Bigger, but finances are tight right now, and really can't afford to buy an entire different curriculum. Any way of making Preparing easier on the kiddos? (Or maybe we should just stretch the budget and get Bigger and then we'd have Preparing all ready for next year....) Maybe more breaks would be good - we have a break after each hour of work.... We had our kids later on in life - and now am going through some of the perimenopause stuff too so hormones are raging. With 3 young kids - 2 with special needs (their little sister is 4) and with my mother-in-law staying with us and needing extra help as well, sometimes think I'm going to lose my mind. But need to remember to lean hard on Jesus - think this entire process is teaching me more of what that really means..... Any suggestions out there would be extremely helpful.

[Heidi in AK]

If finances are tight, can you consider slowing down your progression through the guides? It does sound like a placement issue. Maybe some of the other amazing ladies have some insight here.

[tbarr12]

I went through similar placement issues at the beginning of the school year last year. I placed my son wrongly TWO TIMES before I got it right! I thought he could handle more, but he just couldn't - and then we found out about some learning issues as the year went along. I started him in CTC, and ended up with Bigger, which challenged him, but I could adjust it to work for him. And, btw, he was 9, is now 10. It was still a hard year. My point is that in my case we decided to stretch the budget to get him in the right program. I ended up buying 4 curricula in stead of the original 2 I started out with - but now have everyone in the right place. And, as you said, I knew I'd have them for the future. I'm not sure what you should do - I'm just sharing my experience. It was worth the extra expense to get everyone in the right fit, knowing I'd have already spent the money for the future. But we had it to spend - it just depleted our savings a little more than we wanted. Perhaps you don't. As I said, just sharing my experience.

[lharris]

Hello Starla,
Yes, I think you are correct in believing there has been a placement mistake. Though your children have started their school life in "1st grade" or so probably too soon a few years ago, you can repair it. You said they are 7 and 8 and getting ready to turn a year older. My 8 year old is in 3rd grade now as are the other boys his age. Children just like adults compare themselves. If they are told they are in 4th grade, they expect to be able to do things older children can do. I've had parents tell me their young kids are reading at a 6th grade level when its not true. They took a test and can read vocabulary words that maybe a 6th grader can read. That does not mean that they should be reading 6th grade material. They may have some pride issues as well (being thought to be ahead of other kids sometimes affects their own expectations and unhealthily creates a pride problem. (That is just a generalization from knowing children who were told they were "ahead") The problem with kids being of a mindset of the wrong grade is when they naturally tell other people. It snowballs on them. They tell their friends they are in "x" grade and yet not quite ready. Then adult leaders have certain expectations (like scouts, sunday school teachers). I think Preparing is a very mature program. Being 8 years old is on the young end of Preparing. My 8 year old just now fits into Bigger and when he was 7 (second) grade we did Beyond. Now I know that the manuals have a two year span designed for them. So most times a first grader could go into the Little Hearts Manual or the Beyond manual depending on his fine motor skills and writing. All of these comments should be taken with a grain of salt, only you know the skill level of your children. My suggestions are only given from working with many parents over the years. If at all possible, you should consider switching programs. Feel free to call HOD and review the Language Arts placement.

[acts29stl]

Yes, it does sound like its more of a placement issue than anything else. Bigger is quite a jump for kiddos from Beyond and Preparing is another good jump. Since this is your first year with HOD as well, it would probally be best to back up to Bigger. It's a wonderful program and prepares the kiddos(and teacher!) well for Preparing. There is less writing, no written narrations and the drawing isn't as specific. Bigger teaches oral narration in a step-by-step way, which really prepares the child well for the written narrations in Preparing. My 2 kiddos enjoyed Bigger so much and going into Preparing this school year has been a smooth transition.

Also, consider starting out the program at half pace for a while-maybe 6 weeks or so. That way it gives both you and the boys some time to ease into the new curriculum and get used to the HOD way

[Carrie]

Starla,

I'm so sorry for your rough start. I think the ladies are right in that your little honeys need a different level. I'd peek at Bigger or even Beyond and really ponder the written component. This will be a big factor in the fit. Here's a link to the placement chart to give it one more look. Link: http://www.heartofdakota.com/placing-your-child.php

Pay the most attention to the first page of the chart only. Place each kiddo where he fits best, and then you'll know better where they should be. With their ages being only 7 and 8, even though they're close to 8 and 9, I would definitely lean toward Beyond or Bigger. If you need to switch programs, you can always return whatever is unused in exchange for what is needed. That will help defray your costs some.

I know it can be hard to find the right fit, but it is so important in the long haul. Finding the right starting point is the tough part. When the fit is right, the schooling will go well.

Please let us know if we can help you as you reassess your situation. We want you to be happy and your kiddos to thrive.

Blessings,
Carrie

[Heidi in AK]

Carrie, you are awesome!!! Starla, I'm praying you find the perfect solution and can get it resolved in a way that your family can afford!!!

[Starla]

How I appreciate each one of your responses. It has helped me to think things through. Was able to have dinner out tonight with my dh, (a much needed and appreciated break) and we discussed this some. We are both on board with stepping back, and getting what we need to start Bigger. Rather than let the boys flounder and struggle, it's best to have them do something that they feel competent doing, and continue learning some basic skills before we build on top of that. I just keep thinking that if they have a hard time with Preparing this year, then going into CTC the following year would only mean crash and burn. So think it's time to box up most of the Preparing material, dig a little into savings and just purchase the Bigger things that we need. (They already have their math/English/and DITHOR) Probably won't be changing those levels. And then the following year, we'll be all set to go without any major purchases.

Anyway, again just wanted to thank each of you for your input. I really do like HOD, and desire to make it work for our family. This is a great board to be able to share and then listen to some godly direction, wisdom, and counsel. Thank you!!!!

[momtofive]

Be encouraged, Starla! Many of us have been in the same boat! Just last year at this time, we were coming to that same place with our oldest. We started him in CTC, and it was a bit much for him, being new to HOD. We came from a textbook/workbook curriculum and it was tough to totally switch gears and learn in a new way. I emailed back and forth with Carrie and she was so nice and wonderful about giving me advice. She asked a lot of questions to help me really assess where he was at. In the end she recommended moving him to Preparing. It was exactly what he needed. His skills really developed so much over last year. It wasn't until the start of this year (about three weeks ago), that I really saw the fruits of last year. He picked up with CTC, and has just loved his school experience. He tells everyone how fun school is and how much he loves it.

It may take some time, and some devotion on your part, but when they are in the right program, it makes all the difference!

Blessings as you begin your new HOD guide!

[Starla]

So guess I am still confused. Just went through the placement chart like Carrie said and they both seem to fit squarely into Preparing - EXCEPT for their writing. They both have their printing down, but when it comes to cursive, they need to really think about it and will have me write down some letters/words for them that they have forgotten how to write in cursive. They have no problem in just copying my cursive sentences down, although it takes them longer than it would just to print it. Most ladies here have encouraged me to go with Bigger, and I'm willing to do that if it will truly help my boys, but am wondering if maybe it's mostly their cursive they need to get better at.

Might it be best to just get them the "Cheerful Cursive" part of Bigger and have them work hard on that with not requiring so much of them in their writing in Preparing initially?! Then after about 3 months bring it up to what it should be....OR should I just go ahead and get all of the Bigger program so that they learn the basics down good before they tackle the harder stuff? I talked with my younger boy tonight while tucking him in for bed. He says that he likes school pretty much - just doesn't like to do so much writing. (That's news to me - with all their complaining, thought they struggled with school) It HAS been a rough start for us with a lot of summer interruptions, people wanting me to watch their kids, etc. So we've had play dates when it was supposed to be school, then back to school, etc. which doesn't help with learning new ways of doing things. Whether we go into Bigger or stay in Preparing doesn't really matter to me. I just want what will be best for my boys. Do you think it would be detrimental to keep my kids in Preparing and add some cursive practice in there - or should I just take a step back like most of you have suggested and go with Bigger?

I thought I had settled this question and had some things ready to order from HOD, then reviewed it some more, and really wonder. Would like to place my order on Monday, so have until then to think and pray about it. Praying for wisdom to make the right decision and not let pride or finances get in the way of doing what's best.

[Sue G in PA]

I can tell you my experience. My 3 boys (12, 10 and 9 last year) ALL placed in Preparing (with the older doing extentions). I was thrilled b/c it meant I only had 2 guides to run instead of 3. Well, as the year progressed, it became very clear that my 9yo could not handle the workload. He has some "issues" (mild Aspergers, perfectionism, frustrated easily, etc.) and simply could not do the work. We were both in tears more often than not toward the end of the year. After much prayer, I decided to back him up to Bigger for this year. Going BACK a guide usually isn't recommended, but for us, it just made sense. After looking through the guide I am almost 100% certain we made the right decision. It means running 4 guides this year (LHTH is one of them so I don't really count that) and a high school curriculum as well. But, it will hopefully mean less stress for all of us. Proper placement is KEY as other ladies have said. I wanted to "challenge" my kids but ended up frustrating my 9yo (now 10) instead. He gave up. It is much easier to "beef up" a guide than to water it down. Make sense? You must also think about the future guides. At 7 and 8yo, this would put your youngest below the youngest age recommended for every future guide. Preparing is a BIG leap from Bigger and CtC and RtR a big leap from Preparing (IMHO). I jumped my older boys into RtR after Preparing b/c both placed squarely into RtR w/out using extensions (and b/c we have exhausted our motivation to do Ancients. ). I do believe that even though your boys are advanced they will really enjoy Bigger and be placed appropriately for future years as well. KWIM? I will pray that this fits into your budget somehow.

[Tansy]

I'd like to chime in on the drawing aspect. One of the ladies on this board suggested the book "Drawing with children" By Monart. I used it over the summer and its really helped my Delayed Child think "I can Draw" You could barrow it from the library give it a quick read... and then use her method to walk your perfectionist through a few drawings. Also allowing your perfectionist to copy/overlay and trace. Will also help build confidence.

[TammyTE]

My oldest turned 9yo this past June and in 4th grade. She reads well above her grade level, has great comprehension and is very mature. BUT her writing is behind. She has always struggled with fine motor skills. She is just now learning cursive and doing very well. I am so glad I waited to introduce her to it this year and let her have one more year practicing her printing to get it looking good.

All that to say, my daughter is LOVING Bigger! We are only one week in, but it has gone very smoothly. I have her at her own math and grammer levels. DTHR is already at her own level. I do need to keep her a nice supply of extra reading or she will want to jump ahead in our school books. She would read all day long if I let her.

Writing is such a huge part of this. For us, I would much rather she enjoy her work and be confident in what she is doing. If my daughter had to pour 90% of her thoughts into physically making the letters she would lose all that learning about what she is writing. Does that make sense?

It looks to me like Bigger has a lot of key skills that are gently brought into play throughout the year - to get them ready for Preparing.

Plus there is absolutely no hurry. What is it going to hurt to have our children in Bigger and do Preparing next year? If all the above mentioned stuff is customized to their level then the history and such will be fun and exciting stories to them! It's not a grade level. It's a building block that we will continue to build upon in the years to come. If we are missing the foundation then they will not have solid footing.

Oh and fwiw, I had originally planned to have my 7yo son in Beyond but I second guessed myself and placed him with his 5yo sister in LHFHG at the last possible minute. I am so thankful we made the switch. I am still tweaking a few things but he is right where he needs to be!

I hope you find this helpful. I know it's hard trying to figure it all out. (((hugs)))

[netpea]

my almost 9yo fourth grader is doing Bigger with Extensions this year. The writing load in Preparing would have been too much for her. But she is perfectly placed in Bigger, doing Singapore 3B/4A this year. The only problem is keeping her from devouring all the books instead of reading them slowly.

[Starla]

As I'm reading your replies, ladies, I'm sitting here with a smile on my face. I think I get the point... It seems to be unanimous that Bigger would be the better route to go! Thank you for all your replies. It has been such an encouragement to hear of others going through some of the same things - and to hear about how your children have thrived being put on the right level. So...as you can guess, we're going to try and get them into Bigger without too much of a break in their schooling. You each have been a tremendous help in all of this.....THANK YOU!