Attitude or readiness in a 5 year old?

[joyfuljourney]

I have a 5 year old DD. (plus 8yr DS, 2yr DS and 9month DS) My daughter is in the year before 1st grade. Next year she will be registered with our Education Department.
My DD has always listened to my DS's books for school (including chapter books). Her school experience so far has included Before FIAR (just so you have the background) with a little bit of lapbooking, now using Readywriter and a page here and there from Essential Kindergarten Math. We do LOTS of reading. Her writing skills are only just developing. I started LHTH with her in January but she was not always interested in doing the activities or learning about the letters. So I dropped it assuming that she was not yet ready. I am about to start LHTH again. She does not like me asking her the questions in the Bible. She says "I don't want you to ask me the questions". She is sometimes negative/grumpy about "schoolwork" and other times she asks me if today is a school day because she wants to do some school. She loves Laura and Mary and LHOTP. I was considering using LHFHG next year with her but substituting the Thornton Burgess books for some of the LHOTP books that we have not read yet. (I used the TB books with my DS and he enjoyed them but I am not sure that DD will.)
How do I discern whether we are dealing with an attitude issue or a readiness issue?

[MelInKansas]

Ultimately only you can discern that, with the Lord's help. But let me tell you where I'm at. I have a 6 YO DD who did LHFHG this year. It sounds like your DD is similar to where she was at last fall. She didn't have much writing skill at all. She loved listening to stories. She never fought on answering questions or discussion. What your daughter does sounds more like what my 4 YO DD is currently doing. See, last year, school was always optional for my 4 YO (she was 3). There were parts, like our worship time, scripture memory, prayer, that she was required to participate in, but when I was doing LHFHG with my oldest the 4 YO was not required to participate. So she gets this idea that school is just when you want it, and you shouldn't have to do it if it's hard or if you don't feel like it. This to me is an attitude issue on her part. This fall she will be doing school every day and it will not be optional.

Here's where I think readiness vs attitude comes in. Readiness is when they are trying, they are doing their best, and either they can't do it at all or it is a monumental struggle for them. Attitude is they don't want to do it, so they come up with an excuse or they say they don't like it.

[mom23]

Oh, my. You've just touched on what for me has been the hardest part of homeschooling (so far...) No great advice, just HUGS . Keep praying for wisdom, and then look in everyday life for clues. Sometimes my child will surprise me outside of school hours and suddenly do the very thing that he's claimed he didn't know how to do-then I know it's an attitude issue. Others I've just had to back up to an easier level and see if that cleared up our problem-a readiness clue. Don't know...hang in there!

[my3sons]

...How do I discern whether we are dealing with an attitude issue or a readiness issue?

This is a good question, and a sometimes tricky one. Thank you for giving some background and candidly explaining what is going on with dd. I really appreciate that, as otherwise, it is really hard to try to figure this out. If your dd had been 3 yo or even 4 yo, had not done any type of school-type learning, and was displaying these types of behaviors, I'd say it could be a readiness issue. But since your dd is 5 yo, and you have her doing some school type work, I think that it is more of an attitude concern, though not a large one by any means. Doing school every single day, 5 days a week, with every subject area covered within the week in a balanced way is something for dc to adjust to being responsible for doing. All dc have subjects or skills they enjoy more than others, and it is a learning experience that what is going to be done within a day is not a choice based on mere whim of what interests them (which is what most young dc are quite used to having in their days prior to "school"), but rather there is a body of knowledge and skills that must be learned each year in progression. This is tough for dc to understand at first, but it is very necessary they do understand it.

The very best way to teach a "can-do-it" attitude in school is to consistently do all of a day's plans within a day, each day of the week. Skipping boxes or activities when dc act disinterested only fosters the habit of them showing more and more disinterest as they realize a disinterested, poor attitude gets them out of schoolwork. Dc are like us, they like free time too. School is often fun, but it is also often work. The sooner dc understand that there are indeed a certain set of skills that must be learned each year, that those skills are very carefully planned out for them within the HOD guide they are using, and that those skills are non-negotiable, the sooner the battle of whether a child will do school and whether a child will skip things he doesn't feel like doing in school is taken out of the equation. Now, a child knows he will do all of the boxes plans, and eventually, that leads to relief as dc know what exactly what they will be expected to do each day, which ultimately leads to feeling like they are doing important work that cannot be skipped. That fosters a feeling of importance and effort, that leads to dc enjoying more and more of their work. When you ask her the questions in Bible, and she doesn't want to answer them, she needs to know that is not an option. It is in the guide. It covers an important skill she'll need to move up to the next level of school, and that skill is "reading comprehension" as well as "listening attentively". Every single box has skills that help dc be successful in subsequent years in school - no HOD boxes are "twaddle", all have purpose.

Having a good attitude in school is not optional. This is a lesson we have worked to teach our dc. They do enjoy school, but not every single part of it is something they are good at, so when poor attitudes crop up, we try to nip them in the bud. Dc must go to timeout, or to their room to adjust their attitude, usually for around 5 minutes. I also adjust my attitude during this timeout, as my frustration level may be high too. Then, we come back together, I ask if they are ready to have a good attitude about work, I apologize if I had a bad attitude about something, we pray together, and get right back to work. If they come back with no remorse and an unteachable spirit, we have another timeout. If the second time doesn't do it, a consequence is given. We try to make all of this very brief, to keep school moving along.

LHTH should only take 20-30 minutes a day to do. I would keep it clipping along, spending not more than 5 minutes on a box. By doing this consistently, and expecting dd to do all the work required, she will learn how to complete a balanced school day each day, and will be ready for the increased length of time to do LHFHG. She will have the skills intact to do LHFHG too. If she is doing very well with 1 day's lessons of LHTH each day, and you feel she is ready for more, you can go to doing 2 day's lessons of LHTH within a day. These are just suggestions, but I think your mother's intuition has touched on an important thing here - teaching dd to have the expectation of doing all of the plans for her school every day with a good attitude (not an effusive attitude necessarily, but a good attitude ). These skills will do her well all the way through her schooling. I hope something here has helped!

In Christ,
Julie