Post
by Annette » Wed Sep 29, 2010 7:35 pm
I SO feel your pain! Honestly, we had issues with our oldest son's behavior from infancy on. I hschooled him until 7th grade. We didn't really have issues over school work per se, but he did have many violent, rebellious, out of control behaviors. Finally, we sought professional help. I know a lot of hschoolers don't think too favorably about things like counselors, medications, etc. But kids can and do sometimes have mental health issues. Even hschooled kids from nice, uber conservative, Christian homes. That doesn't excuse the behavior, but honestly if their brain chemistry is off kilter, it becomes much more difficult for them to behave. It turned out that my son had Asperger's (This is a high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder). But we began the whole mental health journey when he was 6,and it took til he was 10 to get an accurate diagnosis. Yes, there are some jerky, ungodly people in the mental health arena, but you don't have to continue working with them. I did "fire" a few professionals over the years. But there are also many helpful supportive, Christian people as well.
Have you had your son evaluated for any kind of physical, mental health, learning disorder, or even allergies? Any of these things can result in those out of control behaviors. And btw-- None of those things are a reflection on you as a parent. Also, if it turns out your son has any of these conditions, there are many different types of therapies for treating them, so you might have to try more than one thing before you find the best approach. A lot of times, the child might need a combo. There's medication. (My son takes Adderall, and despite what some people will tell you, parents are not doling out drugs because they're too lazy to parent properly. If my son were diabetic and needed insulin, I'd give him insulin. Well my son has extreme difficulty with executive functioning because of some faulty neuro transmitter functioning in his frontal lobe, so the Adderall corrects it chemically.) There's also counseling for the kid and/or parents and/or family therapy both in office and in home. There are alternative therapies and things like occupational therapy. There are also support groups for kids, parents, siblings, respite care, and in home help. And there are many books and online resources and support as well.
Anyway, not sure if this is what's going on with your son, but wanted to at least bring that idea to the table. If you ever need anyone to talk to who has been there, done that with the out of control kid deal, or if you have any questions (I'm not an expert. Just a mom who's been through this for several years.) about any of the mental health stuff, you can pm me, and I'll send you my e mail.
BIG HUGS!
Annette
Annette
Wife to Jim (20 years)
Mom to Michael(17), Cory (14) in public school
Kelley (11), Haley(9) CTC
James (4) LHTH