Looking for support and encouragement...

[inHistiming]

Hi ladies....I have found that the HOD board is a good place to visit when in need of advice, encouragement, and support so I hope you all don't mind if I am here looking for that now.

Our family moved from NY (after being there 2 years) back to Florida in November of 2009. We knew when we left that there was a possibility that we would go to Miami after this job is over (it's temporary, 6-9 months). However, it has become a reality, they've asked my husband to begin work there next month and though that does not mean we have to move next month I am feeling rather overwhelmed. At this point we think we'll move over the summer, but don't know for sure. We began our HOD manuals late this year, due to finances, moving, the holidays, etc. Now, to know that we have yet another move to deal with and all the packing, interruptions, travel to NY to sell our home as well as preparing the home we own in FL (we lived here previous to our NY move) to sell....I'm really questioning God's purposes in all this. I have tried to be very supportive of my husband, and I even felt this move was welcome...we're closer to family...but it's difficult having moved so often in recent years. This will be our 6th home since fall of 2005. I don't feel there's been much stability in our home and I'm missing my friends, as do the kids. We've been in and out of churches, never finding quite the right one...though we love where we are currently.

I guess my concern is how will we catch up, when we're already behind? We moved my son up to level 6 in R&S because dh wanted him working at the 'proper' level. However, after taking the first test....we ordered the test booklets to go with the textbook...my son failed. It was partly b/c he did not do a good job reading the instructions and only followed the first part of 4 in the directions, but after having him re-do it he still apparently doesn't understand some things and I believe it is because we moved him up and skipped 1.5 levels. There is no explanation about prepositional phrases...which is what his issue is...in his current book, so I assume he missed that due to skipping. Anyway, now I feel we should go back and just move through the levels to ensure his success and understanding, but I'm not sure my husband will like that. I did warn him that we will be even more 'behind' after this move....and he says he knows that...but I am worried about the pressure I'll be under...I'm not sure he really understands how difficult it all is/can be. I don't want to 'bash' my husband, he's wonderful! But in this area we differ a bit in our philosophies...

So, any suggestions? All encouragement and advice is welcome.

[momof2n2]

W~
can you pull up some of the threads here and reviews on other sites that show that R&S covers in grades 2-8, what most other curriculums cover in grades 2 - 12? That each book really starts to span more than a year? I know I have to keep reminding myself that, and not expect that N will stay on the right "number." I also don't put the number of the book of the book on the IHIP, but instead us the TITLE of the book.

I have to imagine skipping a R&S book will only make the next book harder, they just keep building on each other.

Two years ago, I was not where I wanted to be in the manual, b/c I didn't do it on co-op days and I didn't do it on CBS days. I stopped looking at the unit numbers and just looked at the fact that each day we were doing the next page. Then the next page. Then the next page. A slow, steady march. Don't look at where you've been, or where you want to be, just plug along. I know you will get there.

[inHistiming]

Thanks S....I do know that R&S is a meatier text. My concern is how my husband will feel about moving him back. However, I feel it would be best because as you said it will only get tougher as we progress. I don't want him to have unnecessary gaps. I did speak with my husband and he seems suportive now of just putting ds back where he was. I'm worried about what he'll say later....but then I guess I don't need to borrow trouble. We're going to start back up where we were and ds should still complete level 6 by the end of 8th grade, which is Carrie's plan anyway. Thanks for your words of encouragement...I needed that.

We miss you guys, btw! How's scooter?

[LeAnna]

InHistiming,

I don't really have any helpful words for you about Rod and Staff, because we aren't there yet, but I felt led to try encourage you in the "moving and homeschooling" area. I have been there and am still doing that. We have moved 9 times since 2002. It's been challenging for me, as I have learned how to deal with moving from the only place that I have ever known to moving lots of places. Each move came with it's own challenges, and a whole new learning experience.

I started homeschooling in 2008 and we have moved 3 times since then. We took off a couple of months here and then when we needed too and picked right back up where we left off. I have to say that it would have been extremely hard to do that, had I not choosen HOD. There was not a whole lot of planning involved. We just moved again in December, clear across the country, and after a month and a half, we have started again, and are enjoying it once more.

Hang in there, as I know things will get easier! And, relax... I am learning that every day... I have learned that the kids will pick up on it too, if we are stressed out too much! If you have to put things away for a week or two and get yourself organized, it's okay. Homeschooling is meant to be enjoyable and relaxed... that's the joy of it! Keep your focus on why you are homeschooling and what you want your kids to gain from it!
I don't know if I have helped you any, but I kind of felt like I was preaching to myself again! Just remember things will get better!!!!

LeAnna

[my3sons]

inHistiming - I can see how difficult moving so often would be, and I know it can be even more stressful with a baby. So, my first way of encouraging you will be to add you to our prayer journal as a family and pray for you. You are a wonderful person - such an encourager to others on this board, and such a Christian lady in the way you respond, always.

I'm not sure if this will help with your situation or not, and if not, just ignore this advice - but one thing that I've had to work through over the 15 years my dh and I've been married is realizing what things I need to accept, and what things might change with time. I love my dh very, very much, but one thing I've had to come to grips with is that he will always be gone a lot. Whether it's for his job, or for his outdoor sports, he is just gone a lot, and if anything it has increased more and more over the years. He also does not always tell me in advance, and he sometimes leaves earlier than planned or stays later than planned impromptu. I've come to realize that he will be gone a lot in our marriage, and that is not something that is going to change. However, things that have been able to be changed are him calling me when he's gone, so I know he's safe and we touch base. Also, he does understand how much I appreciate knowing when he's going to be gone ahead of time. Turns out he didn't like to tell me ahead of time because then I was just sad or I nagged him about his leaving until he did. Hence, I have stopped that - except for a few weak moments. I know he is a good and faithful man, he does love to be home when he is, and he works hard at his job - he plays hard too - but he's always been this way - being honest with myself, he was this way when we met.

I tell you all this in case something you'll need to accept is your dh's career causing you to constantly move. Maybe that's not a reality, but if it is, and it's not going to change - better just to try to accept it and plan for it as best you can. I'm NOT saying this is easy, but it is easier than being let down time and time again because it isn't going to change anyway. I had a very wise Christian friend point this out to me, and when I first listened to her I did not want to hear it. When I prayed about it and thought about it for awhile, I realized I needed to have a teachable spirit, and that she was right. BTW, in part of our life, this is quite a new way of thinking for me, and one I need to work on daily to have.

I also realized my dh was not going to be doing errands of any kind. I kept trying to have him pick up this or that, or drop off something, etc. I was so upset when he never got to it. Hence, me accepting he will not be doing errands, and me figuring out a way I can and not go crazy toting 3 dc around to do them all. From this acceptance, I set aside some money in our budget to have a homeschool girl come in the afternoon for a few hours several times a week. I feel like a new woman! I can get all my errands done, go to doctor's appointments, etc. and not be bothering my dh with these things nor be waiting for him to make them happen. He's happier too, though he's still not sure it's worth the money, but is o.k. with it because I've found a way to make some income to cover it.

My dh has a lot of fantastic things about him, but we all have things - me included - that are not so easy for our spouse to deal with. For you, whatever you can do to make moving go more easily and get it down to a science (though you probably have already), would be helpful. Also, as far as the grammar and school, unless your dh brings it up, I wouldn't bring it up. I wouldn't talk about it at all, but instead just be cheerful and general about what's happening on the homeschool front. I found I was making my dh worried by all of my sharing my thoughts about this or that all of the time with our homeschooling, and when we were just quite happy he was happy and not concerned about it anymore. However, maybe your dh does bring homeschooling things up all on his own. If so, maybe reminding him of the talk the two of you had already about the English would be sufficient. If not, you could ask him to specifically tell you what it is he most wants you to do with the grammar - or if it's just everything in homeschooling he likes to keep tabs on, maybe you could have him name his top 3 priorities homeschool-wise or so - if grammar is at the top and a certain level of it is important to him, maybe just do that certain level slowly over 2 years, or just know to hit it hard if he really wants it done in a year. Maybe ask if he'd be willing to help if you think that could go well. I do think asking our dh to verbalize what is truly most important is very helpful. I just did this with another topic I won't go into the other evening, and his answers were so simple I don't know why we hadn't had that talk before.

Anyway, as I said, I think you are an incredibly loving, patient person, and moving that many times would most definitely be hard on anyone. I hope something here can help, but if not, I know my praying will, as God is always better at helping than me anyway.

Love in Christ,
Julie

[inHistiming]

Julie,

Thanks so much for your kind words and your wise advice. I have finally accepted that we will indeed be moving quite often...even though from my post it may not sound like it. I knew we would likely be moving, and I even knew the time frame, but for some reason I just began to panic when I realized: This is really going to happen! We feel as if we just got here...and we're talking about moving already. My husband's career path seems to require this right now...and I will continue to support him. The grammar issue is already taken care of. I do think you make a good point that I should not bring up the homeschooling issues....I think it does make him worry. I know what is important to him, so I'll try to make sure we focus on those things as much as possible. I would love it if he was as interested in what we're studying as I would like him to be, but I realize he's just not. So, I'll try to accept that. He is quite busy with work and school...though that will be done at the end of February (woo hoo!). I try not to ask him to run too many errands for me...somtimes he offers and I do take him up on it then. You gave me lots of things to think about...thanks again for your words.

[Kathleen]

inHistiming - Praying for you!! You can do it - in God's strength!

Julie - Your post was good for me! It's actually something that I've been realizing was an issue for me. My husband is only a mile away most of the time...but he's gone A LOT. And, that's the way it's going to be. So instead of pouting about it or complaining, I'm determined to make the most of the evenings when he is able to make it home before bedtime. He's a wonderful husband and father, and an extremely hard worker. And, I'm quite sure our family will be happier if my attitude changes and I quit wishing things that aren't going to change will. You've spurred me on to making more progress in this area. God has already been pointing this out to me in other ways and I have made some progress, but there's room to grow here.

God has a way of working on our character through whatever our circumstances are. Moving, being in the same place with the same chores that need done every single day of the year... He can mold us into the image of His Son when we obediently follow Him wherever we're at in life.

Kathleen

[Carrie]

inHistiming,

I just wanted to take a moment to encourage you tonight too. I know this is a tough time of year to be moving, and you're likely just really digging into school again after the last move! The ladies have given you terrific dialogue that may get your mind pondering, but most of all it's nice to know that others are thinking of you and uplifting you during uncertain times.

I find that there are curveballs within each school year that are very unexpected, and as our kiddos get older we worry more about preparing them enough for high school or falling behind. While these are important things to keep in mind so that we don't veer off too far the other way and get too lax, they can also be joy stealers and major stressors!

It is good to remember that even in the public school, kiddos aren't progressing all year long in their subjects either. There are teachers who are gone for maternity leave (during which time a sub will do the best he/she can but really progress is limited). There are teachers who are gone for illnesses or are dealing with family crisises who downshift into just getting by for the year. There are continual interruptions during the school day itself, such as assemblies and speakers and fire/tornado/safety drills and announcements, etc., etc., etc. There are problems among students that occupy kiddos' minds much of the day so that they are hardly even concentrating on their studies. Anyway, you get the idea that your school is not the only one with life's interruptions.

Yet, the thing that our kiddos have from us is the gift of talking about each situation in light of the Bible. We get to model how to deal with life's tough circumstances by spending time at our Savior's feet. Plus, we get the added bonus of knowing where our kiddos are academically and NOT losing the first 9 weeks of EVERY school year figuring out where our kiddos are at and getting acquainted with them. This saves us time that the regular school MUST spend in review each year.

I'm hoping this makes you feel less behind and just guides you to realize that steady, forward motion in bite-sized pieces really will prepare your kiddos over time for what lies ahead. But, more importantly, steady bite-sized progress toward knowing the Lord better will make them prepared for eternity!

Blessings,
Carrie

P.S. Here's a link to the other thread where I responded to you about grammar. I wasn't sure if you'd get a chance to see it or not:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=5494

[inHistiming]

Thanks Carrie...I just read the other thread, and appreciate the input. My husband asked to look at the test he failed...and after looking at it he said, "Wow, there's stuff on here that I can't do." so he was fine letting me move ds back to the lower level. Now, the pressure is off! Dh said he just didn't realize R&S was that tough...

I will be the one to continue doing the grammar with the kids. It's not dh's strongest subject and he is already taking over math with our oldest ds...his time is limited so he can't do anything else. However, just his doing the math takes more pressure off of me, so it's been a big help. We are going to just focus on moving forward in each subject, getting through as much as possible during the rest of the school year. We will probably have to pick back up in each guide in the fall and finish during the first part of next year...but it's still progress.

If I decided to skip the units that cover Greece and Rome, I think that's from about Unit 17-Unit 28, (we covered those two with ds two years ago before putting him in HOD) would there be gaps and missing skills? I was pondering this but not sure it would work. We would still move forward with English, math, and Write with the Best on schedule. I do not plan on skipping anything with dd or increasing her pace at all. What do you think?

[my3sons]

I'm glad I'm not alone in this, Kathleen! It's a good thing to love our dh's so much, but that sure makes us miss them when they are gone. We will have to help each other through it.
In Christ,
Julie

[Carrie]

inHistiming,

Typically I wouldn't lean toward skipping Greece and Rome as these goes so well chronologically in CTC and really set the stage for the world into which Christ was born. You will know best what will suit your family's goals, but we see the included coverage of Greece and Rome as a lead-in to the desperate need the world had for the Savior as Greece and Rome's many gods were failing them and their empires were already in ruins or beginning to crumble at the base. It's also important to note that the Roman Empire served the purpose of preparing the world for the quick spreading of the gospel through their network of roads, a common language, government, currency etc. So, a study of these past empires shows God's perfect timing in the arrival of His Son. It really sets up the reading of Luke, John, and Acts and brings secular and Biblical history together.

Blessings,
Carrie

[inHistiming]

Carrie,

Thanks again for being straight-forward. I'm glad you mentioned how Greece and Rome are meant to set up what comes next...the desperate need the world had for our Savior. I definitely don't want to leave that out, so we will just move forward through the guide.

I've been thinking about our upcoming move and how this will affect our schooling again, and I have another question. My oldest ds just turned 12, and is doing CTC...we began right before Christmas so we're just in Unit 5. If we work through May, take the summer off, and start back up after our move that would have us finishing the guide around Christmas or later depending on how much we are able to complete each day. Is there anything you would suggest I should look for or specifically work on for a child his age working in CTC? I know many of those using CTC are younger than my ds...again, the whole 'behind' thing. I'm not concerned with finishing the history cycle or anything like that. Instead of speeding up I was actually thinking of slowing down so we can add the 'extras' such as typing and spanish, cooking, etc. that dh and I want the kids to learn...and still not have our school day last until 5 p.m. I guess I'm just wondering if it will 'hurt' him academically if I slow it down....

Or, should I slow down with dd and move ahead full speed with ds....I'm not as concerned with where she is because we've had to move more slowly with her anyway. This would have her starting CTC later than she would have originally, which might be a good thing.

I'm sure I sound like I'm all over the place...unsure of what I'm doing. I am...

What do you think, any suggestions for me?

[Carrie]

inHistiming,

I'm pondering a few options that may work for you, depending on which goals are most important right now for your family. I'm thinking that if you're concerned a bit about being behind with your son that it won't sit well with you in the long run to slow CTC down. So, with that in mind I would either do CTC 4 days a week (doing all of the extras that you desire for your son on the 5th day of each week), or I would do CTC 5 days a week (omitting the extras) in order to get done more quickly with CTC than planned and move him into RTR sooner. At that point, you could do a 4 day plan and add in your extras on day 5.

As far as your daughter goes, if you do have some learning challenges with her, you could slow Preparing Hearts down as needed until she's comfortable with it (stretching each history day out over 2 days for awhile). Then, you could bump up to full-speed as she's ready. Here's a link to a thread with some possibilities for doing this. Link: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=5431

If, instead, your daughter seems to be thriving, you could just continue at 4 days a week, leaving the 5th day free for any extras you desire for her.

Anyway, just a few thoughts.

Blessings,
Carrie

[inHistiming]

Thank you. I'll be considering what might work best.

[inHistiming]

Well, I decided to come back here and update with what we've decided to do and add yet another question. I decided (and I think this may have been recommended by Carrie originally when I brought this up when planning last year for the new year) to put ds into Preparing...with dd. He was really enjoying the content of CTC but overall was not doing a great job working independently. After reviewing his work, I found there were assignments that had gotten 'past' me that he did far less than his best work on...not b/c he's not capable but because he just wanted to finish. Character issues to work on, I guess. Combining has definitely made it easier for me to complete school with my two older kids and my youngest ds. We're just limited in our time without distractions (baby girl!) and three programs ended up not working for us after all. Maybe skipping Preparing...did not 'prepare' him to work independently as much as expected? In any case, this is how we will finish out the school year. We ae currently loving Grandpa's Box and Tirzah, and I'm amazed at the drawings the kids are completing in the ind. history study. Awesome!

On to my question...my dh does not want me ordering any more books at this stage in the year. When we ordered Preparing...it was just for my dd, without the extensions. So for ds 12, how can I extend his learning without the extension pack books? I plan to look for some of them while at the library tomorrow, but I feel doubtful I'll find very many. This week I just had him do extra reading about Egypt (history) and deserts (science) and then write a paragraph or a fact page about his reading. Any other ideas for how I can handle this for the rest of the year? We may be able to buy the books by fall, but for the first half of the program I'm finding my own things...suggestions are so welcome!