Please help me sisters! Prayer and advice please!!

[Tree House Academy]

I have decided to ask for help and prayres here because I can feel God working in this group of ladies so much.

I will start by saying that I am Christian (obviously) and my older son's dad is an athiest. When we married,I thought I could changed him. Instead, he started changing ME. I came to a place in my life (10 years ago) where I wasn't sure what I believed anymore. I stopped going to church, stopped associating with Christians, stopped reading my Bible and talking to God. After we divorced, I rededicated my life to Christ. My current husband was saved and baptised and we started going back to church.

My older son was saved when he was 8. He was so very firm in his conviction to Christ and he sat in the pastor's office and explained, so beautifully, how Christ died for us. He was baptised shortly afterward. In the last year or so, I have noticed a change in my son. He protests going to church, he asks questions I have a hard time answering, and his behavior shows me that he is struggling in his walk with God.

Today, as we were driving home, a song came on the radio that I used to listen to as a teenager. At the end of the song, it says something blasphemous that I had totally forgotten about. I turned the radio off, but it was a bit too late as my older son picked up on it. Unforutnately, when the song started, I told him how I loved it as a teenager. So....the questions started and I admitted to him that there was a time in my life that I questioned my faith. His response floored me..."yeah, that time is right now for me, mom." My heart just sank! I tried talking to him about it and his response was that it is hard to believe in God when you have one parent telling you it is true and the other parent telling you it isn't. His dad does not live here and he sees him very infrequently, but he wants so much for his dad to accept him that I fear he is moving toward denying God so that his dad will identify with him.

I dont' know what to do ladies. I plan to have our pastor speak with him, but I think this may go beyond a faith issue. Any advice that you all may have is ever so welcome and all the prayers you can send up would be much appreciated. My prayer is that, using Heart of Dakota, He will gain the background in Bible to one day know the truth in his heart. He is only 10 and there is time to turn this around...it is just not going to be easy with his dad's viewpoints looming over his head.

Thank you all for listening.

[mommyofgirls]

Pray, pray, pray and never take no for an answer when it comes to the salvation of your children. i'm sure you were looking for something more concrete, but i think all you can do is be available, saturate him in the Word, let him see you serve God, and PRAY. the Holy Spirit can change his heart better than you can.

[Tree House Academy]

Pray, pray, pray and never take no for an answer when it comes to the salvation of your children. i'm sure you were looking for something more concrete, but i think all you can do is be available, saturate him in the Word, let him see you serve God, and PRAY. the Holy Spirit can change his heart better than you can.

I have seen God change hearts - my ex husband was against homeschooling in the beginning and he turned over like a leaf after much prayer. I know I didn't change his heart...God did! Thank you for the reminder that God is in control here. I know He is...sometimes I still just think I need to do it all on my own.

[rainbowacreshs]

Pray, pray, pray and never take no for an answer when it comes to the salvation of your children. i'm sure you were looking for something more concrete, but i think all you can do is be available, saturate him in the Word, let him see you serve God, and PRAY. the Holy Spirit can change his heart better than you can.

Amen, Amen and Amen.

My husband whom I have been married to for 14 years, been with for 16, didn't want to talk religion, God, thought Church was full of Bible beating back stabbers. It wasn't an easy road, as at the time I had also walked away from God (was saved when I was teen). These last four years God has started to move through us. Shortly after my husband totaled our Stratus, I felt a strong desire to find a church again. I knew I needed to have my dd Kasey in church, I needed to be there. Surprisingly he agreed and we started looking. We found our home church, where God within 6 months being there entrenched me into the 4 and 5 year old Sunday School program and choir. Kasey joined Bible Drillers (and soon after accepted her gift of salvation). For the next 2 1/2 years Kasey and I prayed, and prayed, and prayed for her daddy's salvation. This past Mother's Day God answered that prayer.
It took nearly 3 years, but it was through seeing his family in service, being asked to help serve, saturating him every day in the Word and perhaps having hubby see his wife learning how to walk with God, that brought him to that decision.
Don't give up, pray, pray, pray.

[lmercon]

"The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD." Lamentations 3:25-26


As others have already encouraged you to do, PRAY! God is our only hope against the world. Encourage your ds that everyone struggles with assurance. Point out passages of hope and promise to those who trust in him. Don't overwhelm him with words and pleading. Don't drive him away with too many discussions on the topic. Just quietly point him to God. Don't pour your heart out to him. He's too young to handle all of your fear. Pour out those feelings to the Lord and leave them there with Him. And, as hard as this may be, don't malign your ex in your ds's presence. Don't condemn his dad. That will cause him to rebel against you. Praise his father for all that is positive about him and lead your ds in prayer for his father's salvation. I'm sorry you are going through this now, but how you handle it will have long-term ramifications. I'll pray for you.

In Christ,
Laura

[mariaw]

I think that this could be a valuable time for him. Pray that God uses it to solidify his future adult faith. There comes a time when every one of us has had to choose (in a more grown up way) if we really believe God and trust Him even in the tough times, or not. You HAVE to choose God in the tough times to build spiritual maturity. I'm sure that God even used your time searching to build something more solid in you.

Like the others said, pray, pray, pray. And love on him no matter what he is saying at the moment. Hopefully, this will just be a short season for him, but even if it takes decades for him to come around, he will remember how much you loved *him* no matter his actions or words and prayed for him constantly. I'm sure you opening up to him about your past will benefit your relationship with him.

I'll be praying for you!!

[Tree House Academy]

Thank you all for your prayers and advice.

I have one quote that I use quite often when I talk to my son about his dad's beliefs. I tell him that, "even though daddy may have given up on God, God will never give up on daddy." I always encourage him to keep praying about it. I dont' bring up the subject unless ds does. I noticed this summer, when he went to visit with his dad, I packed several of his T-shirst from Bible camp and VBS. When he came home, they hadn't been worn. When I asked him "why" he said that he didn't want to "embarrass himself in front of his dad."

Many of our lessons in Bigger Hearts have led back to having the courage to stand for Christ even when others do not. We read about Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego just last week and talked about how they did not fall to the pressure of man, but they had fear of the Lord and did what they knew was right to honor Him...even if that meant "embarassing themselves" as ds put it, in front of the king!

[water2wine]

You already got some great advice. I wanted to say a few more things. These are my opinions and they come from what I would do not judgment of you. Get rid of every secular influence you have. If I had video games that taught violence they would be gone. Monitor TV and friendships. Don't let there be a time right now where there is an influence that comes in contact with him that you chose that is not of God. Listen to Christian music, read the Bible with him and let him see you really living it out. Admit your mistakes to him as they come and your dependence on God. Admit that others doubt their faith and it is normal.

Mark 9:24
Immediately the boy's father cried out and said, "I do believe; help my unbelief."

I would suggest doing a personal devotion with him or even just a reading with him of scripture outside of school and let him ask you every question he wants. If you do not know the answer then let him know you don't know the answer but you will get it. Then do it. Show him that scripture is inerrant and God is God. Pray for God to show you how to teach Him this and depend on Him to do it through you. It's great to talk to a pastor but don't depend on someone else to fix what God called you to do. They can help but it is your call to lead Him to the Lord and you can do it. He is not lost. God is just letting you know information you needed to know. Don't panic, praise Him that He is God and the God who knows all and gives us all that we need even when we do not know we need it. You needed that information and God was faithful. It is for your good. Romans 8:28

Pray for Him, pray over him, pray for God to give you the words, pray for wisdom, pray the scripture that says God never fails and pray it personally to God in terms of your son.

I will be praying for you and your son!

[Leanne]

Ok. FIrst, don't panic This IS normal. Almost all Christians go through this at some point, and it may be a really good thing that your son has these questions now instead of when he's older and his doubts could get him into trouble. If anything, I'd probably encourage him to search for the answers he's looking for!

I'd have him write down his questions. Really think through what it is he wants to know, then speak to your pastor about where to find him the answers he needs. The series 'Case for a Creator, Case for Christ' etc have a childrens series. That may be worth doing with him. I have the dvd's, they are great and I've watched them with my kids.

As everyone else has said, pray. Pray for him and in front of him. Let him watch you include God in your life so he can 'see how it's done'. What about a family prayer request list? This is a very visible way that he can 'see' God answering your prayers and working in your family.

[Tree House Academy]

Thank you so much for sharing that with me Ang. It certainly does give me encouragement today.

God bless each of you for your kindness and willingness to pray for someone you only know through words on a chatroom. Thank you all!

[my3sons]

I am praying for you as well, Rebecca. I understand your concern here well. Prayer is powerful, and just keep sharing your faith as much as you can, as naturally as you can. I think it makes a huge difference when we let our dc in our hearts, and they see how we are learning to continue to turn to God for everything - joy, doubts, sadness, anger, health problems, forgiveness - basically every facet of life. When they see us doing that and we share it with them, I think they see God is real, and He makes a real difference in our lives that people who don't have Him in their lives just seem to be missing. God can transform hearts. I will pray for your ds and his dad too, as his conversion would ultimately make a big impact too. Nothing is impossible for God. I tell myself this every day - that, and it is not in my power to save - which is why we need our Savior. May God use all of us to impact those we love so much and turn their hearts to Him.

Love in Christ,
Julie

[Happy2bMommyof3]

Get rid of every secular influence you have. If I had video games that taught violence they would be gone. Monitor TV and friendships. Don't let there be a time right now where there is an influence that comes in contact with him that you chose that is not of God. Listen to Christian music, read the Bible with him and let him see you really living it out. Admit your mistakes to him as they come and your dependence on God.[quote][/quote]

Rebecca,

My heart is torn for you. I don't have long to respond. My dc are taking a break outside to get some sunshine. When I married my husband almost 8 years ago. I was a professed "believer", although I had been out of church for about 4 years and was loving sin. There is no other way to put it. I thought sure, I'll go back to church one day, but It doesn't really matter what I do because God is "obligated" to forgive me since I prayed that sinner's prayer. When I had been in church I was a Sunday School teacher, missionary overseas for 7 months, teaching bible in the youth detention center...you name it. I knew my husband was a stout unbeliever, but I didn't care. I figured he treated me better than anyone I had dated inside the church and that was all that mattered. It wasn't until after my mother, a believer, was suddenly killed in a car crash when my oldest dd was 16 mos old that I started reading my Bible again. And reading and reading. I was watching a show called "Way of the Master" late one night and I was convicted that Revelation 21:8 told me that all liars will have their part in the lake of fire...and I was like a deer caught in the headlights. Lying was my pet sin...my favorite among all of the others.

I was reading my Bible a day or so after that and I read that Jesus said "If you love me you will obey Me...Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand"...and so many others that said the same thing. I was terrified. I saw all of my sin the same way God saw it and I knew I was a guilty sinner and I deserved Hell. I got on my face and cried out for mercy confessing everything I knew to confess. That night I was saved by God's grace. I had been a false convert for 14 years abiding under God's wrath and he saved me and made me His Child and caused me to love Him!

Well, it didn't take long for my husband and I to become strangers. I wanted to be with him, but he didn't want to be with me anymore. We had nothing in common and previously I would have said we were best friends. He found other friends outside of our marraige through a work affiliation and began spending time with them whenever he was not working. I came to get used to it...at that time with two little ones...I felt like a single mom who didn't have to worry about finance since he made the money and paid the bills. We would pray for Daddy every night and at every meal for God to bring him to repentance and faith in Jesus...and how many nights I spent crying in bed at night with him still out with his "friends" I figured drinking and watching football...

About 4 months after dc#3 came along. He had not showed up for work, his boss had called me looking for him and I thought he was at work. That was on Friday and two days later when he came home he confessed to using cocaine and doing everything else that goes along with it. We had to move from our town because when he came clean he also outed his friends who were living secret lives with their wives as well and we had threats made against our family. He "prayed the prayer" with our associate pastor at the time and went away to rehab...the Lord providing for our every need in various miraculous ways since we were broke because of his addiction and $15,000 in credit card debt that I didn't know we had. I wish I could say that was the beginning of our happily ever after, but 3 months after he got out of his 12 week stay in rehab, he began using again...he went away again...this time to a reformed Christ centered rehab in North Carolina called Hebron Colony and I believe the Lord used it to save his life. I believe he truly came to repentance and faith in Christ when he was there. I don't know if we are out of the woods yet. All I know is that God is faithful to His promises. You have to live for Christ in your home the same way that you would live for him if you were out in the world wearing a banner that says "I belong to Jesus". What I mean to say is...get rid of the Disney Channel, the secular music, video games, secular books...anything that does not glorify God. In a normal Christian home I think you can have some of these things. But you are fighting a spiritual battle in your home...and having lived through it, I know that you have to do these things that may seem extreme at first, but wWe were created to Glorify God and Enjoy Him forever and our lives have to reflect that if our loved ones are going to see Jesus in us. He does the convicting, and saving. He just asks us to be His witnesses. It may get worse...alot worse before it gets better, but God is Sovereign...and that even means over the details. Pray, Pray, Pray and trust Him. It is so hard not to try to manipulate, I know, but serve Him and trust Him and He will give you the grace to walk through the fire without "smelling like smoke". I am so sorry for the long post. My kids have now had a picnic outside and I need to get the two smaller ones down for nap.

Cling to the Cross,
Heather

[Happy2bMommyof3]

Rebecca,

I was lying awake thinking last night about this and I wondered if you have ever read any of Ray Comfort's books..i.e. God doesn't believe in Athiests or Nothing Created Everything. He is an evangelist...very theologically sound, but has a "ministry" to athiests. Our faith is not a blind faith. It is an intelligent faith and atheistic ideology can easily be refuted with just a little bit of scientific knowledge. If you're open to it, please check his books out at www.livingwaters.com. I think if you asked your son his legitimate arguments...certainly things he is mimicking from his father...these things could be easily refuted. Certainly, pray, pray, pray and trust, but talk to him and ask what's going on. I know that often when witnessing with someone...if you just get the other party talking about their beliefs and ask them questions about what they believe, their issues and points begin to fall apart. Also, another good apologetics book for kids is "Don't Check your Brains at the Door" by Josh McDowell.

I hope this helps!
I am praying for you!

[Busymomma1]

I'll just ditto what others said. Pray, and also help him to find legitimate answers for his questions. I think most of us have had a period of questioning in our lives. We want good answers. So help him to find those answers. Like one suggested (LeAnn, I think), try the Case for the Creator by Lee Stroebel. I believe he has a Case for the Creator for Kids, or some title similar. In fact, I might check it out myself. My DD at age 7 even confessed wondering if it's all true. Remember, our battle is not with flesh and blood... we have a powerful enemy. So stand in prayer, and help find answers. In fact, we just received an Answers in Genesis magazine tonight that has a survey in it that said most kids who leave the faith began to question it in their elementary, middle and high school years. And the study found that a major reason for kids leaving the faith has to do with the lack of teaching apologetics. To quote, "The younger generations are not being raised to be able to answer the skeptical questions of our time, and so they begin doubting from a very early age whether they can trust the Bible." (Answers magazine, Vol 4, No 4, pg 27).

I know it encourages me to face questions head on with my kids. I hope it helps!
Be blessed!

[we6rblessed]

What a wonderful group of ladies are here.
They are the best!!

Praying for you.
~Linda