What do you do with kids when....

[netpea]

Hi Tamara,
I feel your pain. I will admit that we have been debating about putting our kids in Public School next year. I am so tired, I have difficulty getting anything done around the house other than school. But this season is so short and I'm not prepared to do anything without careful thought and prayer. My hubby thinks we should just put them in school and be done, but I don't think that is where the Lord is leading us. So I will keep you in my prayers.

[Mom2Monkeys]

Tamara,

I went and looked at their website. It seems like a nice Christian School. They offer a lot there in the way of extra curricular activities. If you husband decides this is best, I don't think one year would hurt them at all. It might help you with the new baby and your two year old to have some calm return to your home, if you are unable to figure out a way to do it and keep them at home this next year. Not that I need specifics but I did notice their tuition is outrageously high and I know you said you guys live on hubby's student loans...it would seem to me that that would be a waste of the money you so desperately need to live on but again, I don't know the particulars, nor do I want to. Perhaps you already have that figured out. I liked the idea of computer educational games and workbooks for those days you can't get HOD accomplished. I really do.

You could combine if that helps you but I think your daughter would be too old for LHFHG. But you know best.

They have tuition assistance/scholarships that is income based. We've tried to get the kids in private school before that was a homeschooling academy...2 days of school, 3 days home (something I could handle!)...anyway, my kids did so well in their testing that they wanted them in their school...so they offer to cover the expense. Makes me a proud mama

[Mom2Monkeys]

Hi Tamara,
I feel your pain. I will admit that we have been debating about putting our kids in Public School next year. I am so tired, I have difficulty getting anything done around the house other than school. But this season is so short and I'm not prepared to do anything without careful thought and prayer. My hubby thinks we should just put them in school and be done, but I don't think that is where the Lord is leading us. So I will keep you in my prayers.

Husbands are Mr. Fix-it-now aren't they...LOL. Maybe it is just hormones...with you and I having the same due date and same issues

[my3sons]

After my last post, I just got to thinking....If DD teaching LHFHG to DS didn't work, would temporarily combining them into the left side of one program and having their own right side for now be worth considering? I'll make their right sides my focus this summer and add in the left when able...Aug. til Nov. when we break they'll be 5 and 8, but when we start back in Dec. or January, they'll be 6 and 8... an old K'er and a young 3rd grader and the older is not far ahead in narration skills, just the basics. Something to consider??? I was thinking combining in Little Hearts, ds5 doing both sides, dd8 doing Bigger right side, and adding in some of her Bigger right side books as independent reading. She could use the backing up in read-alouds I think in order to improve narration which is NOT progressing much at all. She doesn't really like read-alouds and would prefer to read them herself and she loves biographies...so the bigger books should be great for her. Carrie, Julie...anyone have thoughts?

What would you say steals the most time in your day? Is the greatest obstacle interruptions from little ones? Morning sickness? Overwhelmed with cleaning and laundry? Errands? Phone calls/people at the door? I'm thinking you just need to carve out about an hour in your day, and that would be enough for the 3 R's. I'm also confused about the pressure you're getting to make a decision about private school now. I may totally be missing this , but why can't you wait until the end of the summer to visit about that? Or, is it a year-round school? I'm also confused about why you can't just stop and take a break now. It seems like you've had a good school year prior to this, your dc are on the young side of the guides, and they're doing well. We personally take a 3 month break every summer and then school the other 9 months. Is there some reason you can't just take the summer off and start up again then? I'm so sorry if you've shared about this and I've missed the boat here - but Tamara, I know you are a good teacher and mom, and I know you've been doing a good job of teaching this year up until as of late - and that has just been due to morning sickness, a move, family concerns, etc. - which is totally understandable!!!

If you are feeling behind, and like you need to do school now then you can find a short-term fix. If you think you must do school now in order to take a long break later, I do think the 3 R's are most important. I think you could combine in LHFHG for left side right now, having your older do BHFHG's right side - or, if/when your oldest is able, you could train her to do the left side of Bigger Hearts pretty independently too. Lots of short-term fixes are possible - I'm just trying to think through with you what's really taking the time in your day, and what can be done to fix that or when that may pass, and also understand why you can't just take a break - my dear, I do believe you deserve it! I want to help you but I'm not sure if you need a short-term fix, and then a long-term plan, or if the short term fix can be just take a break. I think it's hard for kids to be in and out of private school/homeschooling. I know it's important to honor your dh - in my situation, I prayed about it and God slowly changed my dh's heart to embrace homeschooling fully. Praying for you hon'!

In Christ,
Julie

[netpea]

Husbands are Mr. Fix-it-now aren't they...LOL. Maybe it is just hormones...with you and I having the same due date and same issues

Yes they are! I have to remember not to sound whiny or complainy when I talk with hubby or he is immediately into Fix-It mode.

[Mom2Monkeys]

What would you say steals the most time in your day? Is the greatest obstacle interruptions from little ones? Morning sickness? Overwhelmed with cleaning and laundry? Errands? Phone calls/people at the door? I'm thinking you just need to carve out about an hour in your day, and that would be enough for the 3 R's. I'm also confused about the pressure you're getting to make a decision about private school now. I may totally be missing this , but why can't you wait until the end of the summer to visit about that? Or, is it a year-round school? I'm also confused about why you can't just stop and take a break now. It seems like you've had a good school year prior to this, your dc are on the young side of the guides, and they're doing well. We personally take a 3 month break every summer and then school the other 9 months. Is there some reason you can't just take the summer off and start up again then? I'm so sorry if you've shared about this and I've missed the boat here - but Tamara, I know you are a good teacher and mom, and I know you've been doing a good job of teaching this year up until as of late - and that has just been due to morning sickness, a move, family concerns, etc. - which is totally understandable!!!

If you are feeling behind, and like you need to do school now then you can find a short-term fix. If you think you must do school now in order to take a long break later, I do think the 3 R's are most important. I think you could combine in LHFHG for left side right now, having your older do BHFHG's right side - or, if/when your oldest is able, you could train her to do the left side of Bigger Hearts pretty independently too. Lots of short-term fixes are possible - I'm just trying to think through with you what's really taking the time in your day, and what can be done to fix that or when that may pass, and also understand why you can't just take a break - my dear, I do believe you deserve it! I want to help you but I'm not sure if you need a short-term fix, and then a long-term plan, or if the short term fix can be just take a break. I think it's hard for kids to be in and out of private school/homeschooling. I know it's important to honor your dh - in my situation, I prayed about it and God slowly changed my dh's heart to embrace homeschooling fully. Praying for you hon'!

In Christ,
Julie

Julie, What steals the most in my day?? Hmmm...my 2yo who is bar far the hardest child to deal with I've ever met. The kind that makes me think if I'd had him first, I wouldn't have wanted more. I love him like crazy, but the boy is rude, loud, mean, destructive, and looks for trouble beyond your normal boy....I have a boy before him, and he's BOY, but nothing like little brother. He makes cleaning, schooling, showering, relaxing, shopping...impossible. We run a tight ship and our children are well disciplined so I don't know why he doesn't respond to anything we've tried. Next, would be DH's high expectations...sometimes, it's easier to not even try when it's been a rough day b/c it isn't going to be enough. He "needs" a clean house and already helps some, but many times at the expense of my feelings by the attitude he has in doing it. He doesn't enjoy coming home and often times, will call to say he's going to a movie instead of coming home between this and that. He's good at being a dad and husband WHEN he is doing it, but he oftentimes isn't around or is too stressed to bother. I'm sure this too shall pass when the stress of school and student loans are gone. I think he wants the kids in school to help himself more than me to be honest...I love him and know he loves me, but being in school, he's become a person I don't like much sometimes. So maybe a mix of 2yo and being depressed a bit from a stressed marriage... not a quick fix! Was that too much info! I feel like I just bashed my dh, but I'm just trying to be honest with you here...give things you can pray for specifically All this leads to me stressing over laundry, dishes, and everything else being done.

Pressure for the private school and enrolling now is because K is almost full and a waiting list is started for 3rd grade. There's lots of papers and forms and stuff to do and they started it all in February.

Can't stop and take a break now b/c we've been on break for at least 2 months already....I'm just trying to get started again in the midst of all this so that we'll have some summer fun and be able to break the last weeks of being pregnant and for having a newborn.

I need to find a short-term fix and then I'll be able to get through all this and sort out the long term plan. They are JUST out of the age range for combining (5 and 7 now, almost and since the younger isn't to an age to be in a guide with an extension pack, I'm stuck. I would LOVE to combine them (DD has also already done Beyond, although we didn't do everything due to the 2yo making it difficult). I guess I need to start training her to do some of Bigger's right side independently and/or do some of teaching LHFHG. She's a strong enough reader, but not interested enough as of now. We'll work on it.

I'm really enjoying having you talk me through this and help me get my thoughts out, even if just to myself. It's helping a lot! I'm open to any and all ideas you have

[Mamma Joy]

You know when my children were little, I went through cancer. What a rough three years!! I was able to homeschool through out. There were days when it was all I could do was try to keep the kids names straight and a smile on my face. It was like having school part time for three years. Obviously not an ideal situation. Dh worried about their academics, at the time we were concious of the doctors reports and wanted to spend as much time together as possible as the tomorrows were very uncertain in length. (Praise God He knew!) But through this all I would drill multiplication facts, and other really basic basics because I did not have the strength to do anything else. I know our situations are different but if there was one thing I learned it is
God is faithful!! He will redeem the time. Not that I am saying that academics are not important. They are but their faith is so much more important, academics will follow. My children do not suffer academically they have surpassed all school board standards and expectations for their age/grade. God is faithful and that time was used to get to know Him and His faithfulness. Just as the Lord brought us through, I believe that He will bring you through, and the other family whom was talking about debating ps. Keep Him as the focus and He will direct your paths. I will continue to pray for you. Keep trusting!!
Joyanna

[Mom2Monkeys]

Mamma Joy-- Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I can't imagine going through what you went through for 3 years and having to school! I know it was most important to have them home with you- and learn from your walk with God. I've only been through an early cancer scare that although very agressive, was removed and needed no treatment and then another scare that turned out to be nothing...I felt so scared and unable to function during the DAYS I went through waiting for answers. You HOMESCHOOLED through YEARS of uncertainty...You are an inspiration!

I have to get over the "all or none" mentality I have as one of you mentioned you deal with yourself. I feel like I can't get started if I can't finish it all. I need to know that as long as I get math, grammar or phonics, handwriting and keep their noses in some good books....we'll be good. I can do that with them both in a couple short sessions each.

I'm still thinking about the short-term combining into LHFHG while using Bigger right side for DD. I keep thinking having her teach could create issues b/c the two oldest have been at each other's throats ever since our move. Hard transition.

Also, I feel badly about being so openly honest about dh....especially now. He called on his way home tonight a little before 8 and said to make sure the kids were in bed before he got there. (I thought he just wanted peace). He got special skin softening bubble bath and goat's milk soap with frankincense and myrrh, and soothing eye cooling patches , got home and and set it all up, gave me a foot, leg, and hand massage while I soaked and relaxed. Sometimes he really shocks me! And he didn't say anything about what I DIDN'T get done today. I'm much more relaxed and confident that I CAN do this than I've been in a while.

[Alison in KY]

Tamara, some of your husband sounds like mine, although mine has no excuses. He just really needs the house to be straight. Well, it's been kinda hard with younger kids all day at home, which is one reason why he'd be happy if they were down at the public school (of course he'd miss our freedom to do things not on the school schedule, etc). Anyway, this might be one of the key reasons why I've been hit or miss on history, science, geo, etc for years now. When I had a 6, 4, and 2 yr old I somehow did more history then I have over the past couple of years. I've been trying to learn how to be a more organized person...and I'm still trying, but I'm improving. Somewhere in there I added fresh ground whole wheat baker to my list of jobs...what was I thinking ?

Anyway, the basics were what I concentrated on...and I mean basics like reading and math. I was the one who had a hard time not doing it all. I'd rather get one thing done really well than to do it only a piece at a time. Well, when your husband needs the house to be straight then that takes time and effort away from the schooling...plus we have got to give ourselves some kind of a break throughout the day, even if it's a small one.

I understand the ideal situation would be my doing all of these wonderful HOD packages for each of my kids, plus I'm able to keep the house neat for my husband, keep baking the weekly bread, etc...but I just cannot do it. I was not born organized, if I were then I think some of this would be way easier. My husband also doesn't come home from a long day, ready to do housework or schoolwork. So I do the best that I can do in our situation...which means my combining all three kids in Beyond. It also means that some days I still just get the basics done, then I spend a day or two reading the history reader from Beyond to get caught up.

In your situation, you could pick up some of those cheaper workbooks...for those rougher days (to get school done when you aren't feeling well or you are busy wrestling with your 2 yr old) which would give you the satisification of knowing they learned something that day. I've also used time4learning.com as a back-up during a rough period, but it of course costs more money than the cheap workbooks. On a daily basis, again, if I were in your shoes, I'd use Bigger with my oldest and just do a phonics program and math with my youngest who will also be able to sit down for Bigger's storytime and even the other parts of the lesson. No, it's not the perfect situation, but in your situation it might be better than stressing out and not getting through the other HOD package you mentioned (sometimes I feel like I'm spinning in circles with tag teaming my 3...and that IS with me combining).

Just my 2 cents and I am so glad you enjoyed your bath...wow, that sounds awesome.

Alison

[my3sons]

Thanks for sharing, Tamara. I think that doing LHFHG left side together with right side of Bigger would be a good fix for now. You're right, this is not a short term thing. My dh likes a neat house too, and I do as well. Since it's tough to keep a neat house all day with little ones home, we do a "cleansweep" once after lunch, and then once again RIGHT before dad comes home. We literally attack the house together. The dc "sweep" through each room and pick everything up so it's nice and neat. We put on loud fun music and set the timer for like 20 minutes to see if we can "beat the timer". Only then can they go play, and then they need to pick 1 place to play in. I think I'd strap little 2 yo honey in his high chair with juice and a snack during cleansweep if I were you. Then, when my dh comes in the door, I meet him with a kiss (a tip from Good Housekeeping 1962 I read). This has made a HUGE difference in his attitude when coming home. I also make it a point NOT to share the "bad" of the day with him then. Only, the good.

It helped me to watch the movie Fireproof. I also did The Love Dare for my dh without telling him, and it had big results - it began to teach me to love the way the Bible tells me to. I wish I could love like that all of the time! Sometimes I know I love in proportion to how much I am loved. That's just our nature. But, that movie and book (and the Bible which was repeatedly referenced) has taught me to try to approach love more like Jesus does. It is SOOOOOO hard sometimes. But, I'm learning to be better, to hold back angry words, to not get so easily hurt, to try to understand my dh gets stressed too and handles it in different ways (like fishing for a weekend ) - and that no matter what, I need to find a way to - as the movie says - "Choose to love him whether he deserves it or not". I know he needs to do the same for me, because I am not always so lovable either. If you can swing watching the movie, it is life-changing. The book is as well. Praying for you, Tamara!

In Christ,
Julie

[Alison in KY]

Tamara, I took a peak at your blog earlier and fell in love with your dog. My husband is at work and I sent him your blog link to look at your dog. I said "I love this dog", his response was "If he's the one keeping the house clean then we can get one." My congrats to you for your really nice looking orderly house...you got me beat by a mile girl!!

Alison