Homeschooling as my ministry...?

[Heather]

Hi ladies,

My name is Heather and we are completing our first year of homeschooling. It was a good year, but I'm hoping for an even better year as I am using LHTH and Bigger for my 3 boys in the fall. I'm super excited!

I am wondering if its ok to pose this question to you ladies. If it's not the right place, please kindly let me know. Up until this year I have been busy as a bee at church involved in many, many ministries. Everything from teaching Sunday School, to serving on the Missions Team, directing VBS and serving as commander of our Awana program. Whew.

When the Lord called us to educate and disciple our boys at home it was the clearest calling I have ever received. We began in the fall and I just assumed I should continue in my other ministries at church. I figured I could juggle/balance everything while adding homeschooling...was I wrong!

Now I am feeling that the Lord is telling me that homeschooling IS my main ministry right now. Gasp! I keep seeking Him about the other ways I should be serving Him in addition to homeschooling. I feel like He is saying to just focus on disciping my boys. It is so clear and yet seems almost too simple. I am thinking I never really asked the Lord whether I should continue in all the other activities I had always done when I took on homeschooling.

Has anyone else gone through this? I could really use some seasoned advice about accepting the call of homeschooling/mothering as one's ministry.

Thanks for listening.

Heather

[SouthernMrs]

Hello Heather,
I'm Charlene. I have gone through what you are describing years ago. Our two oldest sons went to public school and I volunteered in their classrooms 2-3 times each week. I was also actively volunteering at church, taught VBS for years, coordinated our nursery care, etc..... So I was very busy too.

When the Lord called us to homeschool, I believe He used those years of volunteering (ministry) to help prepare me for my new Homeschooling ministry. I did not have any confidence I could do this task, but if God thought that was what He wanted me to do, then I knew He would enable me. Our oldest sons were finishing 1st and 3rd grade when we brought them home from public school. Now here we are 16 years later and our two oldest sons have long graduated from our homeschool (and college!) and God has since blessed us with 2 more children (our reversal children). We have continued the homeschooling journey and I see my family (discipling our children) as my main minstry from God. Many people (Christians too!) feel we each need to minister to our co-workers, neighbors, extended family (which we should as we have opportunity), teach SS, work in the nursery, serve on committies, etc, but God does not exclude our own families from ministry. It is a High Calling to minister to our very own children. Only He knows what these children will be called to do later in their lives, but I know that right now it is my (and my husband's) job to train them up and teach them all about Him and make them ready. Obviously some children (or is it us Mom's?!) need a bit more than a once a week discipleship class!

After we started homeschooling I did feel guilty for not being as involved at church, but I also knew I could not do a good job and do both. Something had to give. I knew God had called me to teach my children, so therefore, I had to begin saying no to many "good" ministries. I am still a servant, but I'm serving in a different capacity than what I used to do. Do not fear a change of seasons in your ministry life. And do not be afraid to say NO to other "good" things. God wants us to choose the the BEST things He has for us. The homeschooling season will not last forever and God will give you yet another minstry. The seasons of life will continue to change ...... US and make us more like Him.
I hope I have encouraged you by sharing our journey down that road.
Take care,

[mamaloves4]

hi Heather!

I wanted to chime in and encourage you in this homeschooling journey/ministry. Prior to homeschooling I was also involved in everything there was to be involved in at church--women's ministry, kids, youth, music. I did it all. Plus I had all these great hobbies---making cards, scrapbooking, reading. However, the Lord in His great wisdom and mercy gently led me out of each one. I was aware that I could not give 100% to everything and my husband and family was a top priority in my mind, but it didn't look that way in real life. So...first went the kids ministry, then youth, then womens, music changed to be more family focused--I took up piano to bless my family, I haven't made a card in over 2 years, I scrapbook, but nothing elaborate and again, what I do in those scrapbooks blesses my family (and I don't let it take up too much time).

After five years, the Lord is opening doors of ministry within our church and I am tentatively walking through them--I don't want to forget the lessons I have learned. I am helping with the Wed. night kids ministry, but not in a leadership role. And I am able to be a part of the worship team every other Sunday. God is so good. He has never taken me down a wrong path, so I would encourage you to follow His leading and see where it goes. if you feel that 'No' is the right word then say it! it will be okay--believe me, those ministries will go on without you and if they don't, let the Lord deal with it. He is in charge.

May the Lord bless you as you embrace homeschooling as your ministry. Disciple those precious gifts from the Lord. Walk in obedience to Him. He is faithful. He is able.

In Christ,
Jess

[lmercon]

It's true, you can't do everything you did before and hs well. I would suggest you drop back on your activities and keep one that is closest to your heart. Maybe look for a ministry that could involve your dc as part of their training. Is there a service-oriented activity that the whole family could participate in? Maybe you could write cards and notes of encouragement to shut-ins or the sick in your congregation. Could the flower beds at the church use some weeding? The boys could help with that. There are lots of opportunities if you look for them. They aren't as splashy and don't get the attention of other members, but they are noticed by God.
hth,
Laura

[Daisy]

I do see homeschooling (or rather the entire scope of motherhood) as my primary calling.

The first year we homeschooled, I tried to keep up with all my church responsibilites and I was burned out by the end of the year. The second year, I did nothing and just enjoyed the peace and quiet (hubby taught Awanas and brought the kids). This year, I started branching out a bit. We have our feet under us with homeschooling. We both taught Awanas (that was our "family" thing) this year. We volunteered for short term events like VBS, 3 day missions trips, church yard sale, subbing for Sunday School; basically things that didn't require a long-term commitment. That has worked really well.

We also make it a priority to only be involved in areas that we can ALL (as a family) participate in. Take whatever time you need but I'd leave the door open for realizing that you might be in a different place in the future and be ready to jump back in (I was).

[my3sons]

I see homeschooling as my ministry right now. I think there are seasons in our life, and that some seasons are for ministering to our families, and some can be more for other ministries. I'm not saying all homeschool moms should only minister at home, but I am saying if homeschool moms are teaching their dc about God through homeschooling, they ARE ministering at home. Just think if everyone ministered at home to their dc, the chances of us raising a Godly nation would increase dramatically! This is a very important calling, though it is often not recognized as one. My own mom stayed home with us for most of the years I was in ps, and did not do so many ministries at church. Now, she is approaching 70, and does everything at their church! There are definitely seasons in life for things. When I had only 2 small dc, and was only teaching LHTH (and my dh was not traveling for work), I led a women's Bible study group for 3 years. When groups had branched off, and there were 50 women attending in total, and my dc were older and needing more schooling, it was time for me to hand it over to someone else. It was the best decision I made, though I agonized over it at the time. God will replace you with someone else, or fill the need in some way if it is truly a need. I just want to encourage you that homeschooling can be your only ministry for awhile, unless God lays it on your heart to do more.

In Christ,
Julie

[Kathleen]

Heather,

I'm so glad you posted about this, because I can use the wisdom these ladies are sharing right now, too!

The thought the Lord has impressed upon me this year is that in the body of Christ, He can and will bring the people needed to make it function. Whether that's a SS teacher, AWANA commander... BUT, He isn't going to bring my husband another wife, or my kids another mom, so those roles have to take priority. Sometimes the hard part can be that others assume that since you don't have a job outside the home you have tons of time on your hands. I have been told this many times, and I've tried explaining that it's not the case but am usually met with confused looks. In my church, there are only 4 other moms who don't work outside the home, so I'm in the vast minority! (One of these is my mother-in-law, and the other 3 are also homeschooling.)

Anyway, I'm thankful for the wisdom of others here, and am prayerfully considering what areas of service the Lord wants me to continue with now, and which ones I should quit for a while. I know that this year I was stressed out way too much - and not always joyfully serving. So, I'm going to ask for the Lord's direction and serve in His strength.

Kathleen

[Carrie]

Heather,

There is so much wisdom being shared in this thread, and it is wonderful to have each of us pondering that which the Lord lays on our heart. It is so important to listen to His leading and to make sure that we are walking in what He desires for our lives. I completely agree that homeschooling our kiddos is a needed ministry and should be our first priority if the Lord has called us in that capacity.

I too struggle with making sure our lives are balanced and that we are functioning in the priorities the Lord has set forth for us. One thing that I have found very helpful is to sit down with my hubby and discuss what our priorities for the upcoming year are. Then, we actually make a numbered list of those priorities. We keep the list close at hand and whenever I am weighing whether or not to do something, I pray over the choice but also keep in mind the list. If the thing I am considering will force my priorities to be out of whack, then I decline to do that thing.

For example, our number 1 priority this past year was to homeschool our boys in a way that would glorify our Lord and build our relationships with our kiddos. As we started getting flooded with invitations to conventions for the upcoming year, I was pulled to apply to many of them. However, by praying over it and keeping my priorities in mind I could see that attending many conventions (while still being an outstanding ministry) would bump my first priority out of whack. There would be no way I could attend multiple conventions and still homeschool my boys in the way I felt the Lord called my hubby and I to do. So that meant I had to decide, painfully, to attend only 6 conventions.

We have this same circumstance happen repeatedly in other areas of our life, including excellent ministries at church. So, while each of these things are worthy, there is not enough time in this season to do all of them well. Having a list of priorities for the year keeps both my hubby and I focused on the Lord's best for our family.

Blessings,
Carrie

[spidermansmum]

I had to resign from being a pastoral visitor .I feel that this is my ministry.

[Jessi]

Wow. I thought I was alone in feeling this way too.

You are not alone, Heather. I am struggling with trying to be 100% to everyone all the time. I help lead worship, I lead the creative arts team which adds elements to each church service, and I teach sunday school. Each of those jobs adds a myriad of other little jobs to my plate as I am sure you know how it is.

I know something must give and Kathleen said it perfectly. God is not going to send my husband another wife (although on my hormonal days he may wish it HA!) and he isn't going to bring my children another mommy and discipler. That gave me pause. I am involved in everything under the sun at church. The hard part of being a part of a small church (not sure if yours is small but ours is) is that 20% of the people do 80% of the work. It is always the same people being asked to help because they are the only ones willing to do it. But I have found that because of my willingness to jump in and my weakness in saying no, people take advantage of me.

My husband is fed up with all the volunteer work I am doing at church but he won't say that outright to anyone else as he thinks that sounds bad. "My wife is serving God too much." But we recently had a talk...and we realized that when I am serving, I am not always serving for the Lord. Sometimes I serve for my own glory and recognition (gasp!) and sometimes I do it grudgingly and sulk about it. Neither one is serving with the right attitude. And I also bring home a horrible attitude or take my stress out on my children and husband. Not fair to them either. So I am prayerfully considering where God is calling me to quit and where he is wanting me involved. But I am struggling because I don't want to let others down when we already have a church where not many people are willing to help out.

If I say that I am homeschooling to disciple my children and to raise them up to be godly young people, then my actions should show that. I don't want to pay homeschooling/discipling my children mere lip service and not give it my heart.

I'll pray for you too.

[pollo_la]

This thread has been a blessing to me right now! It has been great to hear everyone's thoughts on this. This past year the only thing that I did to volunteer at our chuch was to help out in the nursery on Wednesday nights for AWANA. I have been feeling guilty, like I should be doing more. However, I was able to cheerfully go every Wednesday to AWANA and truely enjoyed serving in that position. If I take on anymore than that, I know it will be too much. I now feel more peace about the decision I have made about how to serve at this point in my life.

[allforjesus]

[quote

...
The hard part of being a part of a small church (not sure if yours is small but ours is) is that 20% of the people do 80% of the work. It is always the same people being asked to help because they are the only ones willing to do it. But I have found that because of my willingness to jump in and my weakness in saying no, people take advantage of me.
...

][/quote]




Jessi,
Most church environments are made up of 20% of the people doing 80% of the work. We are in a large church and it's still the case. God wants us to be servers as well as attenders, but if you steal all the jobs, you are taking away the chance for others to serve too. And, you are taking away the joy they could receive if they served. The reality is that if you step down, you give someone else a chance to see a need and step up. I would encourage you to ask people to take over your areas and spur one another on in your church family to step up to the need.

---
I experienced this ministry struggle about 3 years ago and decided that God wants my PRIMARY ministry to be at home - schooling, training, discipling, and disciplining our children. As painful as it was to step down in "leadership titles", God has blessed me immensely and I have never regretted it. In fact, it opened up new doors to serve and minister to people in our church and in ways that my children could be involved. We do more "all family" jobs at church and love it. Sometimes we choose the less glamorous job because our children can learn how to serve at church too.

[jenntracy]

yes, homeschooling is ministry. if your family isn't being ministered to properly, then how can you serve in ministries outside the home?(rhetorical question). i find myself always thinking i should be doing more. my husband constantly reminds me that my ministry is at home, especially right now. he tells me i already DO ALOT. i don't need to overdo it. i am helping with VBS, but all my kids will be there. i also help with infant room on Sunday mornings but when the next shift comes up i won't be signing up again. i will take a break. (we do it for a 6month period usually).

so in short. YOU ARE RIGHT TO BE MINISTERING TO THOSE SWEET CHILDREN OF YOURS. i think you heard the Lord loud and clear.

Blessing to you

[JenO]

I have whole-heartedly agree that in this season of my life...evangelizing, discipling and homeschooling my children is one of my top ministries. My main ministry really...outside of my marriage. Though, my husband does not like me to refer to him as a "ministry." And...I admit that I need to be putting even more work into my marriage...that will be life-long. So, I, like so many of you other moms, have so much going on! PLUS...our oldest is special needs and will (Lord-willing), be with us long term. God has called me to be her lifelong caregiver and teacher.

My husband helps out at our AWANAS on Wed. evenings. Occasionally, I fill in for him. But, our kids are there anyway. Once in a while we do church nursery. Our oldest daughter struggles at times with chronic health issues, so sometimes even getting to church as a family is a challenge for us. We just do our best.

Our church is not a big homeschooling church. Lots of teachers and public school kids. There are a handful of us families that do homeschool. A lot of times I don't get the affirmation that I need or am looking for at our church. BUT...I am reminded that the Proverbs 31 woman...."senses the worth of her work." I have to remind myself of that sometimes, especially when I am tempted to compare or when I am feeling overlooked...like what I am doing is not really a ministry. But it certainly is! One of the most important ones I'll ever have. I am so happy that the Lord has called us to this.

[Jessi]

Sue Ann- I agree with you about stepping down and allowing others to step up. I am in the process of doing this. The reason I posted that was to show how easy it is to get overcommitted in church activities and teams. And the reality is that the areas I am involved in....hardly anyone wants that position because it requires a lot of limelight (stage time) and it requires people not be nervous getting in front of people. Very VERY few will do this. It is akin to getting teeth pulled to find people willing to help our groups let alone step in and take over. But I am praying for peace from God because as you can tell, I don't have it from a human perspective...that those areas are not MY areas. They are God's and if He intends for them to useful to bring him glory he'll take care of all the details. If He decides not, then He has something else in mind altogether.

I am still in the learning process so bear with me.

I did, however, not like the way you stated that I am stealing the jobs. The only jobs I am doing are ones I was asked to do. I have never stepped in and taken a job just sitting there for the taking. There was a need and I was asked to help. I am weak in saying no but I am not a job stealer. I'd love for others to step up. Please be careful how you type words in here as meaning can be very hard to read but stealing was overly harsh.