Need some advice/encouragement...
-
Sue G in PA
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:09 pm
Need some advice/encouragement...
I'm at my wits end with my ds8 and ds6. Ds8 fights me every.day. about doing his schoolwork. He has Aspergers and likely other issues (won't know until we have him evaluated). He is very bright, but hates school. He finds it boring and if it is too challenging, he shuts down. We've been through dozens of curriculum trying to find the "right" one. Nothing works for him. I subscribed to this online program called Time 4 Learning b/c he loves to play computer games. The novelty of it worked the first day but now he just fights me same as always. Ds6 is the same way. We get absolutely nothing done b/c of the fights. I just can't keep going on like this. Ds6 gives up too easily, is easily frustrated if he makes a mistake (despite much encouragement and praise from me) and I fear takes his cue from his older bro when it comes to schoolwork. He is also a very angry kid and for the life of me...I don't know why. How do I reach these kids? I would love to use HOD next year (Beyond) for them and my ds9 but I just fear it will be another failure and waste of money. They obviously do not submit well to my authority (or my husband's for that matter). Ds6 refuses to sit and learn to read so to send him to public school next year is setting him up for failure (they would label him "behind"). His writing is "fair", but he has some difficulty forming letters and staying in the lines on the handwriting page (some of that is normal, I know). How do I reach these kids? What would you do?
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Pray and ask for wisdom....that is what I am doing for you right now! ((((SUE))))
Kay in PA
Mom to dd12, dd11, ds9, ds7 & ds3 1/2
BHFHG with dss 7&9 and dd11
Mom to dd12, dd11, ds9, ds7 & ds3 1/2
BHFHG with dss 7&9 and dd11
-
spidermansmum
- Posts: 611
- Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:10 am
- Location: UK
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Hi
Ive been working through similar issues with my son,Nathan who has aspergers .Firstly it helped me to understand why we were having such a big issues.I got to understand that to the aspergers child -routine is gold.You change their routine -you are in for a battle.So the first hurdle we his in getting school work done was the fact I was changing what WE normallly did.They need very clear instructions.I have also been advised that children with aspergers respond well to visual timetables.I am currrently trying to design one with clip art and then hope to get in laminated.I have also been told that creating an oops sign that we can insert on the timetable works well for those days when it all goes wrong.Also children with aspergers do well with visual timers ,that a lesson will last 20 minutes and then its done.
I managed to get Nathan following LHFHG after what felt like a looooong battle.He too is very bright .We started with just two' boxes.'The bible story and the drama/science/art box.because he loves art and especially science.We have to do the same subjects in the same order at the same time-no matter what.Im not saying that he then gleefully embraces his reading lesson then but he does actually comply .It cuts our battle down to around a tenth.
We found that we could then add in the read aloud.I needed some extra props -i ususally give a small finger puppet or soft toy of the animal-we have had buster bear for buster bear etc.
Reading and handwriting were the last subjects that we were including and that process of adding in subjects probably took six months.But more on that later...
Children who have aspergers often show traits of ADHD.Its not true adhd more that they struggle to maintian a focus on something directed ,rather than their own natural intrest which they can maintain concentration on really well.This showed up most of all in reading.Oh boy does teaching Nathan to read require boundless patience.He reads a letter,looses concentration, gets directed back,reads the next letter......It goes on.He also has poor impulse control and this shows when he will guess a word without looking first.
Children with aspergers can be perfectionists,so if their writing doesnt look like the example they can quickly dismiss what they are doing as wrong and themselves as unable .My son will rip up very good pictures if he makes a mistake on a detail.
Also children with aspergers who have been to school and had a negative experience can really struggle to see their parents in the role of teacher.I think we had some of this .Nathan's experience at school was negative and his whole atitude to school work was affected and that took a while for us to overcome .I think had this not been the case we could have worked in the routine faster than six months.
Aspergers kids have a lot of tantrums.Its because the world is a disorganised unpredictable place for them.A few saturdays ago ,my lovely husband came home from work and suggested we could go out for dinner.Of course we had not prepared Nathan.He refused to come,he refused to put shoes on,we ended up going by carrying him shoeless to the car,strapping him almost forceably into his car seat and ignoring his protests.We had changed the routine WITHOUT warning and we were paying the price.Its not easy some days.I hear you on wanting out on those days but my own personal conclusion is that we are more able than a school to understand and deal with those behaviours.I doubt a teacher could give the time it takes to teach Nathan to read.
So to recap my advice into one sentance.Start slowly with whatever part of the curriculum gets the least resistance and the bible and be utterly consistant.
I have seen a remarkable changes in my son ,hang in there
Ive been working through similar issues with my son,Nathan who has aspergers .Firstly it helped me to understand why we were having such a big issues.I got to understand that to the aspergers child -routine is gold.You change their routine -you are in for a battle.So the first hurdle we his in getting school work done was the fact I was changing what WE normallly did.They need very clear instructions.I have also been advised that children with aspergers respond well to visual timetables.I am currrently trying to design one with clip art and then hope to get in laminated.I have also been told that creating an oops sign that we can insert on the timetable works well for those days when it all goes wrong.Also children with aspergers do well with visual timers ,that a lesson will last 20 minutes and then its done.
I managed to get Nathan following LHFHG after what felt like a looooong battle.He too is very bright .We started with just two' boxes.'The bible story and the drama/science/art box.because he loves art and especially science.We have to do the same subjects in the same order at the same time-no matter what.Im not saying that he then gleefully embraces his reading lesson then but he does actually comply .It cuts our battle down to around a tenth.
We found that we could then add in the read aloud.I needed some extra props -i ususally give a small finger puppet or soft toy of the animal-we have had buster bear for buster bear etc.
Reading and handwriting were the last subjects that we were including and that process of adding in subjects probably took six months.But more on that later...
Children who have aspergers often show traits of ADHD.Its not true adhd more that they struggle to maintian a focus on something directed ,rather than their own natural intrest which they can maintain concentration on really well.This showed up most of all in reading.Oh boy does teaching Nathan to read require boundless patience.He reads a letter,looses concentration, gets directed back,reads the next letter......It goes on.He also has poor impulse control and this shows when he will guess a word without looking first.
Children with aspergers can be perfectionists,so if their writing doesnt look like the example they can quickly dismiss what they are doing as wrong and themselves as unable .My son will rip up very good pictures if he makes a mistake on a detail.
Also children with aspergers who have been to school and had a negative experience can really struggle to see their parents in the role of teacher.I think we had some of this .Nathan's experience at school was negative and his whole atitude to school work was affected and that took a while for us to overcome .I think had this not been the case we could have worked in the routine faster than six months.
Aspergers kids have a lot of tantrums.Its because the world is a disorganised unpredictable place for them.A few saturdays ago ,my lovely husband came home from work and suggested we could go out for dinner.Of course we had not prepared Nathan.He refused to come,he refused to put shoes on,we ended up going by carrying him shoeless to the car,strapping him almost forceably into his car seat and ignoring his protests.We had changed the routine WITHOUT warning and we were paying the price.Its not easy some days.I hear you on wanting out on those days but my own personal conclusion is that we are more able than a school to understand and deal with those behaviours.I doubt a teacher could give the time it takes to teach Nathan to read.
So to recap my advice into one sentance.Start slowly with whatever part of the curriculum gets the least resistance and the bible and be utterly consistant.
I have seen a remarkable changes in my son ,hang in there
Last edited by spidermansmum on Tue May 12, 2009 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Delighted to have used LHTH,LHFHG and Beyond, Bigger , Preparing and DITHOR
currently Using
LHTH slowly with my 2 year old
Starting Bigger with my 8 y/o About to add on DITHOR
Finishing Preparing with my 12year with ASD/LD
currently Using
LHTH slowly with my 2 year old
Starting Bigger with my 8 y/o About to add on DITHOR
Finishing Preparing with my 12year with ASD/LD
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
From Sarah...
1)I have not had the same struggles that you are describing with my own children. However, listening to this thread is reminding me of my days teaching public school music. I had this great, my favorite, class of autistic boys that would come in. I spent a good deal of time observing their teacher so that I could make their transition to music as seamless as possible. Their teacher used a pic system to help with the schedule. On a long 8" wide strip of poster board, they had paper clips attached to the bottom about 4" apart. All the subjects and parts of their day were written and illustrated on index cards. The teacher would simply slip the cards she needed into the paper clips at the bottom of the schedule in the correct order for that day. At the top of the poster board was mounted an envelope which said "Done" or "finished". The child could place the card in the finished envelope when the task was done. They even brought their card to my class for music time. I suppose the card could even have a time on it like "15 min".
Structure and some built-in down time really worked for this teacher. I think she had a "free choice" slot built in with a time of 15 min. She had a couple of extra special spots for the kids to chill out in and they could choose that spot for their "free choice" time as a reward after hard work.
2)Take or ignore whatever you want from this. Only you know your child and where he is. I only bring up these ideas because it seems that you are dealing with a child who might need a different approach when it comes to structure. Also, there was a thread somewhere in the main board where a member mentioned a box system that was developed by a homeschool mom with a child that had some special issues. This mom developed the system for herself, shared it with others, and now sells the system and a book describing it to any homeschooler because of it's organizational and management ease for mom and kids.
3)Honestly, besides bathing my child, myself, and my day in prayer, I would simplify severely. I would pare down to the basics that have to be done and then slyly accomplish some other things hidden within interesting subjects. For instance, your child likes bugs. Read about them, spell them, collect them, draw them, alphabetize them, describe them with adjectives, count them, group them,... you get the picture. Learning is fun and boys love fun so try to combine something they love in order to breathe a bit of love back in their learning.
4)I have two boys and I have only done Bigger hearts for His Glory, but it is so boy friendly. I shared it with my sister who has three older girls and one ds and she said the same thing after looking at it. I think you would be happy with any of HOD's things. We have done primarily left side of the plans with science and storytime and some dithor. I think, because it is not workbook based and they don't see the questions I ask them, they never feel anything but the brightest and most accomplished kid they know. They love it!
God has uniquely equipped you to be the mom of your boys. Ask him for creative wisdom. He will answer.
Sarah
1)I have not had the same struggles that you are describing with my own children. However, listening to this thread is reminding me of my days teaching public school music. I had this great, my favorite, class of autistic boys that would come in. I spent a good deal of time observing their teacher so that I could make their transition to music as seamless as possible. Their teacher used a pic system to help with the schedule. On a long 8" wide strip of poster board, they had paper clips attached to the bottom about 4" apart. All the subjects and parts of their day were written and illustrated on index cards. The teacher would simply slip the cards she needed into the paper clips at the bottom of the schedule in the correct order for that day. At the top of the poster board was mounted an envelope which said "Done" or "finished". The child could place the card in the finished envelope when the task was done. They even brought their card to my class for music time. I suppose the card could even have a time on it like "15 min".
Structure and some built-in down time really worked for this teacher. I think she had a "free choice" slot built in with a time of 15 min. She had a couple of extra special spots for the kids to chill out in and they could choose that spot for their "free choice" time as a reward after hard work.
2)Take or ignore whatever you want from this. Only you know your child and where he is. I only bring up these ideas because it seems that you are dealing with a child who might need a different approach when it comes to structure. Also, there was a thread somewhere in the main board where a member mentioned a box system that was developed by a homeschool mom with a child that had some special issues. This mom developed the system for herself, shared it with others, and now sells the system and a book describing it to any homeschooler because of it's organizational and management ease for mom and kids.
3)Honestly, besides bathing my child, myself, and my day in prayer, I would simplify severely. I would pare down to the basics that have to be done and then slyly accomplish some other things hidden within interesting subjects. For instance, your child likes bugs. Read about them, spell them, collect them, draw them, alphabetize them, describe them with adjectives, count them, group them,... you get the picture. Learning is fun and boys love fun so try to combine something they love in order to breathe a bit of love back in their learning.
4)I have two boys and I have only done Bigger hearts for His Glory, but it is so boy friendly. I shared it with my sister who has three older girls and one ds and she said the same thing after looking at it. I think you would be happy with any of HOD's things. We have done primarily left side of the plans with science and storytime and some dithor. I think, because it is not workbook based and they don't see the questions I ask them, they never feel anything but the brightest and most accomplished kid they know. They love it!
God has uniquely equipped you to be the mom of your boys. Ask him for creative wisdom. He will answer.
Sarah
-
WigglesMom
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
My son also has issues with school. We are afterschooling to prepare him for homeschool next year. Transition is not our friend. Anyway, the communications board works well for him. You can download a free trial from Mayer Johnson and it is great. I printed ours and laminated everything.
http://www.mayer-johnson.com/MainBoardm ... oryID=5419
There are places that sell the board pre-made also.
http://www.theraproducts.com/index.php? ... _id=321419
I have some for the house stuff also. I have the kids day mapped out like this with a done box beside it and they check it off with a dry erase marker. It is kind of explicitly detailed to work. Like Wake up. Get dressed. Brush teeth. I mean mapped out totally. It gives him a visual of the day and he knows what to expect.
Sorry it is so little. I had to take the pic on my camera phone. It really does work. I am going to make one for our school day once we transition to homeschooling full time this summer after ps gets out on the 28th. I made all the ones that I needed during my 30 day trial and laminated them. I even went ahead and made some for Wiggles even though he was a baby at the time I set up the board. That is a must to get the other kids involved too. My older girls have one even though they don't "need" it, but I use it to see if they are completing chores and such for allowance. My son doesn't feel different and it all works smoothly.
My son had went to a Montessori school before public school and they do this sort of thing with pictures and step by step of what the child is to do. It leads to independance in children and they are self-sufficient also.
Another thing that I have done with my very electronically absorbed child (playstation, computer, nintendo...) is to limit the times a day he can do it. He gets 20 minutes of time a day after school. He can choose what he wants but only 20 minutes of time and he has to have had a good behavior day. He has to have finished his work, he can't have thrown tantrums, and he has to abide by the time limit and put it away (not me take it away in the end). If I have to take it away, then he doesn't get to have the time the next day. If this happens and he is good the next day I will let him do leapster or vflash or didj (educational but electronic and visual). He has something to look forward to at the end of school. He has to meet expectations to get his reward.
Timers are good also. We do timers and if he isn't finished when the timer goes off...we just pick up the next day. I don't have to do timers on everything but there are some things he had to have a timer for like writing. We started out this way at the first of the year (his teacher in ps did timers also with him). I would set the timer if we weren't accomplishing our work if he was goofing off and we were going to be there forever and then him meltdown. Especially in reading. I would set the timer for 15-20 minutes we would work on it. If he didn't do well I didn't stress we would have 15 minutes tomorrow. He got to were he knew there was an end and that that same lesson would be there tomorrow and it was just easier to do it that day. I haven't had to set a timer in a while. But we went through a year of timers to get there.
Fidgets are good too. http://www.therapro.com has a lot of good resources that you can use at home to help.
I hope this helps,
Val
http://www.mayer-johnson.com/MainBoardm ... oryID=5419
There are places that sell the board pre-made also.
http://www.theraproducts.com/index.php? ... _id=321419
I have some for the house stuff also. I have the kids day mapped out like this with a done box beside it and they check it off with a dry erase marker. It is kind of explicitly detailed to work. Like Wake up. Get dressed. Brush teeth. I mean mapped out totally. It gives him a visual of the day and he knows what to expect.
Sorry it is so little. I had to take the pic on my camera phone. It really does work. I am going to make one for our school day once we transition to homeschooling full time this summer after ps gets out on the 28th. I made all the ones that I needed during my 30 day trial and laminated them. I even went ahead and made some for Wiggles even though he was a baby at the time I set up the board. That is a must to get the other kids involved too. My older girls have one even though they don't "need" it, but I use it to see if they are completing chores and such for allowance. My son doesn't feel different and it all works smoothly.
My son had went to a Montessori school before public school and they do this sort of thing with pictures and step by step of what the child is to do. It leads to independance in children and they are self-sufficient also.
Another thing that I have done with my very electronically absorbed child (playstation, computer, nintendo...) is to limit the times a day he can do it. He gets 20 minutes of time a day after school. He can choose what he wants but only 20 minutes of time and he has to have had a good behavior day. He has to have finished his work, he can't have thrown tantrums, and he has to abide by the time limit and put it away (not me take it away in the end). If I have to take it away, then he doesn't get to have the time the next day. If this happens and he is good the next day I will let him do leapster or vflash or didj (educational but electronic and visual). He has something to look forward to at the end of school. He has to meet expectations to get his reward.
Timers are good also. We do timers and if he isn't finished when the timer goes off...we just pick up the next day. I don't have to do timers on everything but there are some things he had to have a timer for like writing. We started out this way at the first of the year (his teacher in ps did timers also with him). I would set the timer if we weren't accomplishing our work if he was goofing off and we were going to be there forever and then him meltdown. Especially in reading. I would set the timer for 15-20 minutes we would work on it. If he didn't do well I didn't stress we would have 15 minutes tomorrow. He got to were he knew there was an end and that that same lesson would be there tomorrow and it was just easier to do it that day. I haven't had to set a timer in a while. But we went through a year of timers to get there.
Fidgets are good too. http://www.therapro.com has a lot of good resources that you can use at home to help.
I hope this helps,
Val
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Oh Sue,
I think any mom would feel the same way you are feeling right now, and it is so clear how much you love your dc and are trying to think through how best to work with each of them. You are getting some excellent ideas here from ladies who truly know what you are dealing with because they have walked in your shoes.
I think spiderman's mum has some excellent ideas about growing into the guide a few boxes at a time, and establishing a consistent routine in detail. Sarah had some great ideas as well, and I too think I'd simplify as much as possible. I think starting HOD with a few boxes that he would more than likely enjoy the most, doing them in the same order, at the same time each day, and then slowly adding more boxes over time, ending with the subjects he struggles the most - would be a super plan! I love Sue's idea to use a chart, and I agree that this visual representation of his schedule would be very helpful. I also like Sue's idea of the timer, and that has been very helpful in our house for staying on track to get school done. Like Kay and Sarah - I agree bathing your dc in prayer each day, as well as yourself, will help you feel God working through this right along with you.
For your 6 yo, if you can try to do school with him somewhere away from your 8 yo, so he gets this is just a time for you and him, and so you can minimize him picking up habits you don't want him to. You could go half-speed with the plans, set the timer, and establish a routine for him of the order of subjects and the time of day as well. I think he would grow into this and do fine.
HOD's boxes of plans take consistently about the same amount time, so you can truly count on them taking about same amount of time each day. Also, the boxes are meant to keep lessons to a manageable time - most at the younger levels are short, like about 15-20 minutes. HOD also rotates seatwork with hands-on activities, so this would keep the plans moving. I think you'd enjoy using HOD, and I think your ds's would grow into it with routine and time.
I am full of hope for you, Sue! I want to encourage you that I do think HOD would work well for you, and I do think you'd enjoy using it, and I do think your dc would grow into loving it too! I also am sure that you have the strength for this because the Lord equips us to do seemingly impossible things that His glory may be seen in our striving to do what seems insurmountable when it is done for Him. Praying for you and your dc!
In Christ,
Julie
I think any mom would feel the same way you are feeling right now, and it is so clear how much you love your dc and are trying to think through how best to work with each of them. You are getting some excellent ideas here from ladies who truly know what you are dealing with because they have walked in your shoes.
I think spiderman's mum has some excellent ideas about growing into the guide a few boxes at a time, and establishing a consistent routine in detail. Sarah had some great ideas as well, and I too think I'd simplify as much as possible. I think starting HOD with a few boxes that he would more than likely enjoy the most, doing them in the same order, at the same time each day, and then slowly adding more boxes over time, ending with the subjects he struggles the most - would be a super plan! I love Sue's idea to use a chart, and I agree that this visual representation of his schedule would be very helpful. I also like Sue's idea of the timer, and that has been very helpful in our house for staying on track to get school done. Like Kay and Sarah - I agree bathing your dc in prayer each day, as well as yourself, will help you feel God working through this right along with you.
For your 6 yo, if you can try to do school with him somewhere away from your 8 yo, so he gets this is just a time for you and him, and so you can minimize him picking up habits you don't want him to. You could go half-speed with the plans, set the timer, and establish a routine for him of the order of subjects and the time of day as well. I think he would grow into this and do fine.
HOD's boxes of plans take consistently about the same amount time, so you can truly count on them taking about same amount of time each day. Also, the boxes are meant to keep lessons to a manageable time - most at the younger levels are short, like about 15-20 minutes. HOD also rotates seatwork with hands-on activities, so this would keep the plans moving. I think you'd enjoy using HOD, and I think your ds's would grow into it with routine and time.
I am full of hope for you, Sue! I want to encourage you that I do think HOD would work well for you, and I do think you'd enjoy using it, and I do think your dc would grow into loving it too! I also am sure that you have the strength for this because the Lord equips us to do seemingly impossible things that His glory may be seen in our striving to do what seems insurmountable when it is done for Him. Praying for you and your dc!
In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie
-
Sue G in PA
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:09 pm
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Thank you everyone for all your encouragement and advice. I know I need to make a schedule for them and stick to it. Schedules have just never worked well here. I know my ds8 needs one. Ds6 probably does, too. It's finding the time to do all of this that overwhelms me. I'm wondering if I'm just not cut out for homeschooling. You know, God gifts us all differently and has different plans for us all. What if I'm spending my time out of His will? What if I'm stressing out over this unnecessarily? My husband leaves for NY early, early tomorrow am and will be gone for 2 days. It's not long, but it's not a good time for him to go. I'm really stressed and really feeling defeated. Your encouragement today has helped. Thank you. I'm sure I don't pray enough or trust God enough or have enough faith so perhaps I should just start there. Thanks again.
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Sue,
I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. All of us are striving to be more of what God wants us to be, so you are not alone in that department. We each have things that we need to work on to be more like Christ, and it is a daily battle to fight against falling back rather than moving forward into God's will for our lives.
The ladies have given you some wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement. It may be a good idea to print off their ideas and choose one to begin with first. Then, once you've been able to tackle one idea you can move on to trying another one. For starters, choose one that you can do right away and that doesn't take a huge effort on your part.
Then, I'd encourage you to make sure to spend a little time each morning reading some of God's word and in prayer. Start small, even if it's 5 minutes a day as it's the habit you are working on forming. Bathe your family and yourself in prayer, knowing that you are God's child and that He deeply cares for you.
Blessings,
Carrie
I just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you. All of us are striving to be more of what God wants us to be, so you are not alone in that department. We each have things that we need to work on to be more like Christ, and it is a daily battle to fight against falling back rather than moving forward into God's will for our lives.
The ladies have given you some wonderful words of wisdom and encouragement. It may be a good idea to print off their ideas and choose one to begin with first. Then, once you've been able to tackle one idea you can move on to trying another one. For starters, choose one that you can do right away and that doesn't take a huge effort on your part.
Then, I'd encourage you to make sure to spend a little time each morning reading some of God's word and in prayer. Start small, even if it's 5 minutes a day as it's the habit you are working on forming. Bathe your family and yourself in prayer, knowing that you are God's child and that He deeply cares for you.
Blessings,
Carrie
-
Sue G in PA
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:09 pm
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Thanks, Carrie. I will print the responses. I had planned to do that anyway. Choosing one thing to implement is a good plan. I've been feeling so defeated that I don't even have words to pray. But, I will start tomorrow in the Word and in prayer if I have to lock myself in the bathroom It's comforting to know people are praying for me. Thanks everyone. I appreciate and covet your prayers.
It's comforting to know people are praying for me. Thanks everyone. I appreciate and covet your prayers.Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Sue,
I know when you're feeling defeated that it's tough to find the words to pray, but when we cannot find the words the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. So, be filled knowing the Lord is hearing your heart in the moments of quiet with Him, even when there's no words to express your feelings.
Blessings,
Carrie
I know when you're feeling defeated that it's tough to find the words to pray, but when we cannot find the words the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf. So, be filled knowing the Lord is hearing your heart in the moments of quiet with Him, even when there's no words to express your feelings.
Blessings,
Carrie
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Lifting you and yours up,
Joyanna
Joyanna
Wife to Mr. Wonderful for 18 yrs
Priviledged Mama to be able to homeschool 4 great kids
DD T.O.D. to be a Keeper
DD bigger with ext. & TOD
DS bigger
DD bigger
Tutor to many
DITHOR for all
O God Your Word has given me life.Psalm 119:50
Priviledged Mama to be able to homeschool 4 great kids
DD T.O.D. to be a Keeper
DD bigger with ext. & TOD
DS bigger
DD bigger
Tutor to many
DITHOR for all
O God Your Word has given me life.Psalm 119:50
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Oh Sue, we have all felt defeated like this before! When I have been very down about something, I've found it is the best time for a change. It is usually a crossroads in life - and I think you'd find HOD to be a nice new direction to take. I don't think sending your dc to public school would solve anything, and it would hurt your heart.Sue G in PA wrote:Thanks, Carrie. I will print the responses. I had planned to do that anyway. Choosing one thing to implement is a good plan. I've been feeling so defeated that I don't even have words to pray. But, I will start tomorrow in the Word and in prayer if I have to lock myself in the bathroom
I do think starting HOD gradually a box at a time, would work well. Remember when you are feeling God's left you alone, He has not. He is right there waiting for you - and as Carrie said, it is such a blessing the Holy Spirit intercedes for us and knows just what we need even when we don't. I have often prayed, "God, I do not know what to do. I need you to tell me exactly what to do because I can't figure this out. I just want to be in your will, so please clearly show me what your will is so I may do it. And then I will do it." This has always given me clarity - sometimes not immediately, but always within the time a decision needed to be made. A favorite saying of mine is "Let go, and let God" - that is what we should always do, but don't. Somehow, in our weakest hours, that is when we are most like God wants us to be because we let go of our control (usually because we feel like we've completely lost it), and then we let God back in control (which is the way it always was anyway, but someone we recognize He truly is in control more.)
I have prayed for you, Sue. Many people are praying for you - and where two or three are gathered, there I am in the midst of them. He will answer you - I know it for sure.
In Christ,
Julie
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie
-
Sue G in PA
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:09 pm
Re: Need some advice/encouragement...
Wow. Thank you all so very much for all your encouragement and your prayers. This board is so amazing. I'm still very overwhelmed but not feeling quite so defeated. My 2 oldest children (dd12 and ds11) are both going to ps next year and it took a long time to accept and feel peace about it. I now know that it is the right thing for them. I don't have that feeling about my youngers. I simply just can't take the fighting aymore. Ds6 is getting so out of hand and more and more violent. He requires constant attention. Ds8 still fights me about schoolwork, but he did actually do some today. I'm working on a plan for the next month, just to finish out the year and then I'll work on next year. Everytime I think or pray about it, the FIAR curriculum I have comes to mind so I think I'm going to use that to finish out the year and over the summer and then order Beyond for next year. Thanks again for all your advice everyone. I know that this, too, shall pass but it's rough going through it.