I'm starting to panic!

[nowweare6]

O.K. I'm just venting here. I have 4 kids in a small private school. We decided to homeschool and will begin this summer. In the meantime, we became aware of a boy that we might be adding to the family via adoption. He is seven years old. At first, it looked like the adoption wasn't going to happen but now it seems to be moving forward. I suddenly realized that I will have 5 children to teach! I'm excited about the HOD curriculum but really starting to worry that I'm not going to be able to accomplish everything. It doesn't help when you mention to people that you are planning on homeschooling and they look at you like you are crazy! My plan right now is to start Bigger with extensions with my 4 kids. If Austin does move in, I probably won't start his teaching until Aug. I thought that might help me establish a routine. I'm not sure if I would teach him using Bigger or one the other programs as I'm not really sure of his abilities yet. Having fostered before, I also realize that the transition alone might be overwhelming without even adding the educational aspect. I'm feeling like I'm in over my head. I went from being really excited about home schooling to feeling completely inadequate. Thanks for letting me vent!

[pollo_la]

I have never fostered before or adopted children, so I'm not sure how "good" my advice will be, but I can try. (We actually did look into fostering fairly extensively at one point though and do have some good friends who do foster care). Sometimes, depending on the situation with a new child, it's best just to try and keep things as "normal" as possible. If "normal" for the rest of your family is going to be homeschooling, then I say, try and figure out a routine with that and include your new child in that as much as possible. If you find that the information in Bigger is too advanced for this new child then you can always try and add a new program in for that child at the end of the summer when things are more settled. I really think that more than anything this new child would feel left out and "unequal" with the rest of your children if you did not let them join in with the homeschooling this summer. Just my thoughts.

[Jessi]

Hey Monica,

Do you have a time frame for when this adoption might be finalized? If it is sooner, could you move Grace into beyond to do with Austin and use extension for Grace? My thought was if you want Austin to feel like a part of the family and not isolated it might be good for him to have one of the older siblings involved in the learning with him instead of having to do something different than the other four. Although, he may want that one on one time with you to bond more so maybe doing his own thing is better.

Do you have to start this summer? Could you wait until Austin is a part of your family to start school so you can get to know him better and make better plans for the school year? You'll be great at this. If you didn't have moments of insecurity, then I'd think you were abnormal. You have a lot on your plate...your family being first and foremost important. If you have to wait on the homeschooling front until fall, that will be ok too. You know what is best. Praying for you.

[tiffanieh]

Hi! Just wanted to say that we all, regardless of our circumstances (and you have every right to feel the way you do) feel overwhelmed and inadequate...especially when homeschooling. If God has called you to this, He will equip you for this. He already knew, ALWAYS knew, that you were going to be adding a 5th child to your family. This is the time to not forgo the decision you made upon HIS calling since your circumstances have now changed...this is now the time to draw closer to the Lord, depend on Him for wisdom and guidance. The devil is just waiting for an opportunity to whisper lies into your ear, to fill your heart with anxiety and worry. Do NOT give him any opportunity!

You can do this and you ARE adequate enough. What a joy it is that you are going to bring so much fulfillment to Austin's life. So what if you guys are behind on your math lesson, or your baby can't recite her ABC's!!! What you are teaching to your children is SO MUCH GREATER and in the long run, is worth so much more. Even if the entire year was a bust, other than growing and learning together as a family and getting acclimated with their new brother...it will not be a wasted year. And I doubt that is going to happen either!

So take a deep breath...take some time to love on Austin, and the Lord will lead you where you need to go!!

[water2wine]

You can do it. I have six kids using HOD and I adopted four of them. You are adopting an older child that will have adjustments of it's own. I would keep an open mind usually kids need to regress a bit when they are adopted, especially older children. It may very well be that Beyond would be a better program for him and if so that is fine. In a way having him have his own program might be preferable. It gives you one on one time with him and he will not be in competition with the other kids. In my mind that would be ideal for a child adopted at 7. What he will need is you more than bonding with siblings now. I would give your family a couple of months to adjust to having a new child and perhaps start the school year in Sept instead of easy. Adopting a child over the age of four can have it's own issues so I might take one step at a time. But either way you decide you can do it. In fact my husband and I have many friends that adopted older children from an orphanage. Some had issues that we both believe homeschooling would have resolved. I firmly believe homeschooling is the best thing you can do for a child recently adopted. It allows them what they desperately need the most which is bonding time with you.

I can relate to what you are feeling it is probably similar to what I felt when we adopted three at once. The one thing I clearly heard God tell me is that being equipped is not the issue. The issue is hearing the call and obeying. For those He calls He will also equip. He called you to this child and He called you to homeschool. He knew the two would happen together. I would embrace it and trust that He will show you the way and equip you for both as you go. Moses did not feel equipped either but He heard the call and obeyed and along the way God was faithful to equip Him. I would just start praying now for God to show you exactly how He wants you to teach your future child. He will show you and you can do it. I am positive if you depend on Him in this way that He will bless you for it!

Congratulations on your up coming adoption! That is wonderful!

[MainelyJen]

I've got good news for you. . .we're all inadequate to our tasks. I agree, God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. I certainly never envisioned being a single parent homeschooler (talk about getting looks like you're crazy!) There's no way I would have had the strength to do this for all these years on my own. But I'm not really on my own, am I? Thankfully, I admitted I was totally inadequate and then went to my Heavenly Father to beg for help! Only He can give you the strength you need, and it is your privilege to ask Him for it. Pray, pray, pray.

Don't give a thought to any disparaging looks or comments by others about homeschooling or adoption. You are performing an amazing good work for God's glory. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and remember what Christ will say to you in future; "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" (Matthew 25:40)

I'll be praying for you during this exciting transition.

[we6rblessed]

This post has encouraged my heart today.
Thank you ladies for being used of the Lord.
What a blessing you are!
~Linda

[holyhart]

I don't have much to share on your specific situation, but thought I could share this little bit of encouragement anyhow.

I remember doing a Beth Moore bible study a few years ago, and one of the things that she said really stood out to me and has encouraged me many, many times. She was talking about those times when we find ourselves in these difficult situations and we don't really know how to handle them. But God does. She said when she was going through one of those times herself, while praying and talking to God about how inadequate she was for the task, how she just didn't know how to handle it, she didn't have any experience for this, that she felt God say to her "Baby, I have a file on that"

There is NOTHING new under the sun. There is NOTHING that HE can't help you through. On your own, it very well might be just too much to handle, but as others pointed, you are NOT on your own AND you were called to this journey. HE KNOWS how to handle this.

So nowweare6, GOD has a file on this for you! He will lead you through this!

[nowweare6]

I knew you guys would encourage me! After reading the posts yesterday, I got out of my head and into the Word! It's funny how we lose sight and start to panic when God is moving in our lives. I just needed to remember that all of this is in His timing. He would not have given me a desire to bring our education home and bring Austin into our home if He wasn't going to walk along side of me. Thanks for your words of encouragement. Monica

[water2wine]

Monica when we told them we would adopt three and had court the next day at about 3AM I panicked and told my dh I could never do it. Luckily we rarely panic at the same time. It was that night that God made it clear that it was being called that mattered and he would equip. The story of Moses came to mind to me that night as well and also a verse that it is God's will that none should perish which I know is not written for how I was applying it but it still spoke to me. I think adoption is one of the highest calls He has for us. You are transforming a life and very likely taking one that would not be for Him and helping them to know Him. God could of course do that without us and it really has nothing to do with us except that He chose you for it. He really does walk it with us. I have found Him very faithful in being there and helping me with it. I know He will do the same for you. I am also very happy for you that you will be hsing. I really honestly believe that is the absolute best thing you can do with an adopted kid especially.

Praying for your adoption and for your start in hsing. You are going to love HOD. I so wish I had started with it! I know God will bless you with it. Let us know when the adoption happens and how you love HOD!