DD doesn't want me near her for school!

[Jessi]

Emma does not like me sitting close to her for her school work. She likes snuggling in for Reddy Fox (at least in the beginning) all though now we read it at lunch so that snuggle time is gone. She tells me to scoot away from her when we are doing a reading lesson or history or science reading. In fact, when we are doing our reading lesson she does better if I am sitting on the opposite end of the couch or even better, if I am walking around while she sounds things out. She gets frustrated with me and herself if I sit to close and she'll tell me "Go over there and listen." I promise I am not being too hard on her during reading. She likes doing it alone and thank goodness I can sense when she is messing a word up and I come in, lean over her shoulder and help her and then retreat. I don't like doing this but she is much happier and excited for school if I "leave" her alone. For handwriting and math she wants me to give directions and then go away and she calls me back when she is done so I can check her work.

Is this normal? Is it hurting the LHFHG flow if I am not snuggling with her and sitting right beside her for now working on the subjects? She smiles and happily complies with school now that I am giving her space whereas in the past she would grumble about having to start or get easily upset during school work. I think that in the future as the work gets harder she'll want me around more, but for now she can do most of this work herself.

Anyone else have a very independent young learner???

[Carly]

Well, I have my desk and they have theirs. We're all in the same room, but
they have their own "space" to work on their assignments. This does NOT mean that I'm out
of the teaching or flow of things. I'm right here to answer questions, teach a concept before
giving an assignment, read something aloud to the children, discuss their readings,
etc.. We just all have our own personal space. We gather round and snuggle during family read aloud time
and are affectionate in general. They don't need or want me hovering to close while they do math,
read their history etc.. It's OK. I don't take it personally, but see it as a sign of maturity.
I'd take your cues from your dd as long as she's not being disrespectful about it.
She sounds very self-motivated!
HTH,
Carly

[my3sons]

Jessi - you are describing my little Riley exactly! He does love to cuddle for storytime, but for the rest of school, he really would rather I didn't "hover". I am a natural born hoverer, so that's been hard for me. I have to draw the line when it borders on being disrespectful though - like when he takes the marker out of my hand when I'm showing him a math problem saying "I get it!" (He doesn't. ) Then, I have to explain that this is my teaching time and he needs to let be the teacher because that's what I am. Then, after I show him the math problems, and he shows me he gets it, I let him be independent - but not until then. Same thing with the Emerging Reader's Set, we went to having him read it by himself first (so he could have his independence); but then he has to snuggle up with me and read it out loud to me so I can correct his mistakes. I agree with Carly - I think this independence is fine as long as it doesn't cross over to being disrespectful because that will be increasingly a problem as they encounter things they really can't do well without us. They do need to understand who is in charge - and it is not them, especially when they are 5 or 6. It sounds like little Emma is flourishing - so keep up the good work!!!

In Christ,
Julie

[pollo_la]

I think it's normal! My dd gets the same way sometimes. Sometimes she does it because I get the sense that she wants to "surprise" me with the good work she did "all by herself." Other times I think she does it because she doesn't want me to catch every little mistake she makes. All very understandable. Luckily, for the most part she has no problem with me being there, which is nice because I like it, but I do think that if they don't want you there all the time, that is normal too. Maybe you could somehow strike a deal with her? Say that you really love to spend that time with her and see if she will allow you there for the first half of the time and if she does really well during that time she can have some sort of special reward... maybe picking out a special story to read later in the day or something along that line. And then make sure you let her have her half "alone" time as well at the end.

[Jessi]

pollo_la- "Sometimes she does it because I get the sense that she wants to "surprise" me with the good work she did "all by herself." Other times I think she does it because she doesn't want me to catch every little mistake she makes." I think this is it exactly with her. well that, and I am a hoverer. I think I put pressure on her even though it isn't my intention.

Julie & Carly- very good point about the polite independence vs. disrespectful behavior toward me the teacher. Most of the time she isn't disrespectful per say but she speaks her mind quite clearly. I need to work with her on how to say it a polite way. I am still learning how she learns and she is learning how I teach. We have to find our niche, I think.

Thanks for the great advice!

[MamaMary]

Jessi, I just want to say that this threw me for a loop too! My first born is 17 and is a very relational learner. Since I am a relational teacher this worked great. Then came Colton. He does great while learning a new concept, but then does better working on his own. He almost cannot get away from me fast enough. At first I took this very personally, but I see that this is true of their personalities in life. Brandon is my "Betty/Burt Bohemian" personality and Colton is my "Olive/Oliver" Organized personality. There's pro's and con's to both. Brandon can be so relational he doesn't "fly" as he should and Colton can be so independent he's not teachable. I have had to stop and offer loving "correction" with my little Oliver. At the same time I have learned how to let him walk in his independent personality when it's appropriate and have even come to see great value in this.

Seth is also an independent learner and Jacob is a relational little guy. What's cool is that once you've trained your older children the younger boys seem to know the boundaries without lots of direction/correction/instruction

Jessi, you are doing such a wonderful job as a Mama. This is a perfect example of homeschooling at it's best. You and she get opportunities to communicate with one another early on. What you create now will be what takes you into her teen years.

pollo_la- "

Julie & Carly- very good point about the polite independence vs. disrespectful behavior toward me the teacher.

I love this too!

[Jessi]

Mary- Thank you for encouraging me. My daughter is such an Olive!!! Now that you mention it she totally fits that bill. She is uber organized and independent. I am more Betty when it comes to teaching.....I need to keep that in mind. I don't want to conform her to my ways, nor should I conform to her ways. We just need to learn to respect that God made each of us this way for a reason. It would be boring if we were the same...but boy would it be easier.