Those of you with special needs kids. Kind of long sorry!

[yayadaisy]

Two out of three kids right now that I am home schooling have special needs. One is actually in preschool with the school and getting special ed, speech and occupational therapy, but I also do school work at home with him. My oldest ds (9) has a SLD in reading and writing. My next ds (5) is developmentally delayed and will be getting tested for Autism sometime in the next few months. My third ds (3) I took for preschool screening and now they are saying he may need special ed when he reaches school age, because he couldn't do things and with our past history they just assume he will need help. So here is the story so long ladies I am sorry! I got a call from a lady (whom I met at the preschool screening) wanting to come over and discuss some resources that I may not be aware of that may befit our family. So I agreed to met with her. Anything to better help my kids I am open to. Well when she got here she was very nice and we talked about misc. things for awhile. Then she started asking me about how the kids get socialization and if I am home schooling my ds (5) next year instead of putting him in K at school how am I going to help his special needs and how do I help my older son with his needs, how do I home school like do I use a laid out plan and how do I pay for it etc. How do I school some while others are younger and when the baby comes(I am due in about 5wks) How am I going to do school then? The school sent this lady to my house because they are concerned the kids are not getting enough socialization and the special ed help they think they should be getting and were worried that I wasn't doing anything with them at all at home! Like I was just letting them play all day! I was very upset when I found out the true reason for the meeting and felt like they think I can't do this as good as them because they went to college for this stuff so they know more! They also knew things about our family of a personal nature. Yes we have had a hard year. My husband was out of the home for some time getting help for anger issues and the kids were in school and then I pulled them out. So yes, it has been very crazy and not as consistant as I would like, but now we are in a good routine and when baby comes I know we will slow down a bit on school, but we can still do a lot of it! Have any one else ever had this happen where the school is questioning them? What did you do? I was thinking of allowing my two with special needs to go to school just to get the special ed help, but home school at home. In MN the school has to offer it to us even if we home school, but not I feel like they will be watching me so carefully and blame any and everything that is "wrong" with the kids on me for home schooling them! I don't want them to recieve any special ed services now from the school and just wanting to know how you help your special needs kids? Do you go to private practices? Does your insurance pay for it? Any thoughts would be helpful.

Sheila mom to five great kids, one angel and one on the way (5 wks to go!)

ds 9
dd 7
ds 5
ds 3
ds 18 months

[joyfulheart]

They were wrong to question you, accuse you of not giving the kids what they need. I'm sorry they did that.

Yes, I've had teachers tell me similar, accuse me of similar with my special needs son. ANd my answer has always been FIRM-- "NOBODY cares more about my child's physical, mental and education more than his father and I do. NOBODY could put more effort, more attention, and more caring into making sure that every need is met. NOBODY can come to MY home and tell me that they know what is better for my child than I do."

Don't let them guilt you, intimidate you, or harasse you into doing something that isn't best for your child.

I have worked in special ed, some programs are wonderful, but some are just horrible. It all depends on the school. So if home is best, keep the child home and don't listen to the negativity.

Also, if you're not a member already, you REALLY REALLY need to become a member of http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1 They are advocates for homeschoolers and will fight legally if the school tries to pull something. They also list the laws of your state, so that you know your rights.


EDITED TO ADD: In my area, there are no FREE programs, unless I have him completely enrolled in public school. Our insurance doesn't offer any intervention, and private intervention is too much money. I got very lucky-- I went to scottish rite hospital and they loaned me a free copy of a very expensive intervention program, that we were able to do at home. (he felt sorry for me, lol)

FYI-- our local school does NOT have a good intervention program set up, and once I got vocal about how bad it truly was, they completely supported my homeschooling. LOL They wish they could get rid of me completely, but I do have 2 more children that go there. (for now). I'm about to start demanding intervention for another child, and I believe they are dreading it. BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! (evil giggle)

[April]

I used the early intervention services with my son when he was three through the public school and was very disappointed. I also had him in private therapy. We adopted him through foster care so he also has a medicaid card. Our insurance and the medicaid covered him completely for the therapy. Now our daughter is three but has a processing problem and is getting speech and occupational therapy privately. Our insurance covers 80percent and we pay the rest. When I take my daughter to specialist the first question they ask is if she is in preschool and then I get to hear the benefits of preschool for socialization. Even though she has absolutely no socialization problems. I just think their so use to offering this resource to people that they haven't really thought their is any other way. I think if you can get services privately and not go through the school thats best but I understand not everyone can and therapy is expensive.

[water2wine]

Well they lose money when people like you take kids out. I was chased down as well. I have six and one has cerebral palsy. We used special ed in school and they could not get her reading. I took her out for a month and hsed and she started reading. That is when I took her out for good and we chose not to use any school services. She is done with OT and speech therapy although I still help her with speech. She still receives physical therapy but that was never through the school. I highly recommend you go private for therapy if you can. Our insurance covered it. We do have a physical diagnosis. You may need to pursue diagnosis aggressively before you are able to get that.

It is normal for them to tell you that you are not qualified. I was told I was not qualified to teach any of my own children by the principal. She is now since been fired. Don't listen to them. You can do so much more with the one one one help you can give your child than a room full of kids with mixed needs and one teacher. Part of my reply was about that actually. If I can't teach one special needs child with five other children how in the world can they teach 8 with different types of special needs and then try to assimilate them with 25 other kids as well. When you think about it is it logical.

Hang in there. Call your agencies that work with families of special needs and find out what is available to you. They want you back. They lose a lot of money when they lose a special needs child and it does not look good for a mom to pull them out because needs are not met. You can do this and you will do better than they ever could. I promise. Just hang in there and keep pushing forward. You will find HOD is perfect for customizing for the special needs child as well as the gifted child.

[playschool]

We have a special needs son who did get early intervention (for spina bifida) when he was younger, and went to their public preschool receiving PT through an IEP. (We knew all along that we were going to homeschool him once he hit Kindergarten.) While in K, he still received his PT through the local public school under an IEP, but I had to register my homeschool as a non-public school in order to receive services ( in my state you do not have to register at all). His caseworker through the public school seemed supportive of homeschooling but even so, hinted of how they would love to have him in their school system. In about 1st grade, our district was so busy that he was not getting much time from the PT(45 min. every other week) and she was not really doing much with him. At about that point, I decided to get therapy from an outside source. Our insurance does help to pay for it, because the school system could not provide him the needed PT. Of course our insurance only allows us 30 visits a year, but he has made so much progress with them. They are really top-notch because they have the time to be and are not bogged down like the schools by all of the other students that they have to serve within the school system. That is our experience. It has been so nice not to have to register my homeschool as a non-public school anymore. It is nice to know that I am not under the watchful eye of the board of education. HTH

[yayadaisy]

Thanks for you advice. I have since talked to the person who came, who is kind of a middle man type of person, and got some more information about the whole issue. I am going to write a letter to the school about how disappointed I am about how they handled the whole thing. The school board, elementary principal, and others who were involved will get this letter. I am taking my son out of preschool after next week and have looked into private speech and OT for him. As for the special Ed he was getting I do know a special Ed teacher and I am going to ask her if she can help me set up my own IEP for him. I do not want any contact with the school. It's like they are gathering all this info. just to use against me and to show me how I am not doing a good enough job. I know I can do better than them because I have his best interest in mind. They have budgets and time to worry about and countless kids to work with everyday. Will he really get the one on one he needs anyways? I don't think so! I also am a member HSLDA now so if I have any further problems they will be able to help me out more. The school wanted me to sign more papers the other day so they could get info. on my son who is 3 and getting speech therapy. What for? He isn't even in preschool yet! I didn't sign them and that was the last straw for me! I know they probably think they are helping and are passionate about their jobs, but in this case I don't think it would be better for my kids to be in PS.

Sheila mom to five great kids, one angel and one on the way! Five weeks left about!

[Tansy]

I have another resource you can use,
Easter seals, they are private and the state doesn't get involved. I had a Horrible experience with Early intervention where MY ADVOCATE told me adoptive parents abuse their children 80% of the time. I left that program faster than you can say "Jack Robinson" with my adoption social worker advocating for me. I found out few weeks later she was removed from her position. This woman who was supposed to be helping me was awful, she had comeform a back ground of rescuing kids and i think could not stop doing that. They too pushed me to send her to a special school and I did for a few weeks, but as I watched my child not get worked with, and the louder more obnoxious kids get all the attention I wondered why am I here???

After a year break I did get great help at Easter Seals and i had super therapists.

Our insurance allowed a one time expense of $1000.00 that lasted about 2 months. After that and Easter Seals charged us on a sliding scale we paid very little for our 2x a week sessions.

Our Easter seals program had a "new thing" going on where they brought Mom in for 15 min of the session and taught mom the therapy for the week. I was then to do this therapy every day for 15-30 min. If I didn't it was ok but to be honest b/c they were testing it. I of course did it as part of school so it was done very regularly. All the children in the program with Mom's really working with them made far better progress than those children who only got therapy 2x a week and Mom was sent home a work sheet. Do not them bully you! Look the progress is to let Moms do the work!