Breaking old Habits....

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j_croche
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Breaking old Habits....

Post by j_croche » Fri Nov 21, 2008 8:23 pm

For those of you who come from a workbook approach, how long did it take for your dc (and yourself) to adjust to the CM style of curriculum? My oldest ds (11) LOVES the work in Preparing, but he does not like waiting on me for the teacher directed assignments. He wants to just read the lesson manual on his own and complete his assignments :shock: . Now I don't want to hold him back, but I believe it's important that he learn to listen to the read alouds, narrate back, learn dictation skills, etc...
He also, in times past, has had a habit of rushing through and not following directions well. I'm concerned that this would happen if left to himself.
Part of me just wants to say (out of frustration),"here do it yourself":oops: . This week I've been so tempted to just give him all of his "boring" workbooks back and just continue HOD with my other DC. I know that this is NOT what I nor he wants to happen.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks and God Bless,
Jenni
Jenni, Mom to a handful of blessings
Ds19 College
Ds18 Highschool Grad
DD15 Homeschool
Ds12 Homeschool
Ds09 Homeschool

funkmomma71
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by funkmomma71 » Fri Nov 21, 2008 9:59 pm

My best advice would be to push through and make him wait for you and do the curriculum as closely as you can to how it is written. It will be good for him, and you. on many levels. He will learn patience, how to listen to directions and follow through. You, also, will learn endurance! :D

Though I do not have the same issues as you, I think there is always something that every child will try to push back against. The answer is to endure!

Best wishes.
Nancy
Mommy and teacher to
Dd 12 and DS 8
Doing MTMM & Preparing 2016-2017

deltagal
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by deltagal » Sat Nov 22, 2008 7:17 am

For those of you who come from a workbook approach, how long did it take for your dc (and yourself) to adjust to the CM style of curriculum? My oldest ds (11) LOVES the work in Preparing, but he does not like waiting on me for the teacher directed assignments. He wants to just read the lesson manual on his own and complete his assignments :shock: . Now I don't want to hold him back, but I believe it's important that he learn to listen to the read alouds, narrate back, learn dictation skills, etc...
He also, in times past, has had a habit of rushing through and not following directions well. I'm concerned that this would happen if left to himself.


Hi Jenni,

I wonder if your oldest is ready to do more of the teacher directed work independently and then meet with you at a later point in the day or throughout the day to touch base. I have an 11 yo who is eager to get to work, so he has a list of all the items he can do independently. We touch base briefly in the morning to review any things that aren't clear and then before lunch we work on teacher directed assignments. I even have him do independently things that are written to the teacher, because he can do it! It may take a couple of weeks to train him to do this, work with him on reading and understanding directions. Now, if he keeps rushing you. You''ll need to coach him on this - teaching him how to wait, how to be productive while waiting and how to do his work well and not rushed. A system of consequences and rewards will work nicely - for my 11 yo it all involves computer time.

I hope this gives you some food for thought.

With Joy!
Florence
With Joy!
Florence

My blog: http://florencebrooks.com/

Began HOD 1/2009
Currently using: Bigger, RTR, Rev to Rev and MTMM

my3sons
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Location: South Dakota

Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by my3sons » Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:26 am

It seems like the oldest child often has this tendency to want to be independent and forge ahead alone. My oldest son somewhat fits that description too. Last year, with BHFHG, I let him take over more of it gradually until by the end of the year, he was using the guide and doing the most of it on his own - I still listened to the narrations, gave the dictation, always reserved the Bible discussion for just the 2 of us, and things like that - but the reading and activities he took over what he wanted to, and checked back with me for help whenever needed. This worked well for him.

It has helped me out to explain to him the intended purpose of the activity. For example, if the purpose of dictation is for him to be able to listen to a passage being read and write it from memory. Then, it makes sense that I need to read the passage out loud for him since listening is a key element of the skill. Likewise, for oral narration, if the purpose is to be able to share in detail what was read with another person orally, it makes sense that another person (namely ME) has to be part of that process. With Bible, if the focus is to have a meaningful discussion between parent and child about our faith, it makes sense that we need to do that together or we didn't fulfill the purpose of the activity.

In contrast, if he wanted to read the read aloud himself, and he was able to do it well with an excellent narration, that still fit the purpose of the activity in my mind - though I still read it out loud at least once a week because I felt like he still needed to hear how to read well with expression (another purpose of the read aloud). If he wanted to do a hands-on activity on his own, and he could REALLY do it well as it was intended, and still prove he learned the purpose of it, then I was fine with that.

So, now that we're doing PHFHG, I've told him he may gradually take some things over as he proves he is able to accomplish the purpose of them. But, there are some things he will never take over because performing the skill properly requires another person - which, hey, is part of most of life, right?!? :lol: I do encourage him to use the guide and check of the boxes as he completes them. It's tempting to give in to our oldest dc's independent nature because it is actually a wonderful quality most of the time, but I think if he did a workbook approach or if he blew through all of HOD on his own, he'd be missing some pretty important skills that are so important to learn - like even just working with other people to accomplish a task. Hope some of this helps!

In Christ,
Julie :D
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

j_croche
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by j_croche » Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:33 pm

Thank you ladies. As always, you have wonderful words of wisdom for me! :D
Jenni, Mom to a handful of blessings
Ds19 College
Ds18 Highschool Grad
DD15 Homeschool
Ds12 Homeschool
Ds09 Homeschool

Carrie
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by Carrie » Sun Nov 23, 2008 8:42 pm

Jennifer,

The ladies have given you wonderful counsel. They have told you exactly what I would say. :D

When determining whether to return to workbooks, I would ask whether that will accomplish the goals you have for schooling your kiddo? Some parents honestly prefer workbooks because it is the simpler more straight-forward, get it done approach. When weighing the workbook option, it is also important to ponder whether workbooks really help you get to your child's heart? Meaning... do they inspire learning or thinking, after school is technically done for the day? Do they give you heart-changing moments where you share deeply? Workbooks used judiciously can be a great tool, but if your primary goal is to touch the heart of your kiddo and to help him interact with his material meaningfully (and with the Lord throughout his day), then another method is probably better.

My oldest is also very independent and really dislikes waiting for me, so I agree that teaching your oldest son to use the guide quite independently is a good option. But, I would make sure to do the portions that require discussion and interaction with him. If he would rather do his history readings and science readings on his own (at a different time than you have it scheduled with your other kiddos) I think thats o.k. too. Just make sure to do the oral questioning and discussion for history by either having him join you or by doing it separately at a different time with your son after he's read. :D

Keep the Bible study time together for Days 1 and 2 of each week and let him be independent on Days 3-4 (which are independent quiet time and copying the verse anyway). Let him do the Extension Pack reading on his own and the history project on his own too. Let him do the vocabulary, research, geography, and timeline mainly on his own too. But, check in with him daily and ask him the questions in the guide or check his product to make sure its done well. :wink:

Drawn into the Heart of Reading can be really independent at his age too, along with his math, and his science. :D

Try to schedule his times "with you" during a natural break in your schedule, so he isn't waiting on you. For example, you could meet with him right after lunch or right after a recess. Then, you won't be doing other things while he waits.

You could schedule a 20 min. or so "meeting time" in the morning (shortly after his history reading) and ask him any questions from the guide and briefly go over any independent work he's done that morning. Then, you could have a different 30 min. or so scheduled time during the afternoon to do dictation, do grammar, and briefly go over whatever he has done independently and turned in for the afternoon. 8)

You could do poetry and storytime at lunch, so he'd already be there and participating with your other kiddos. Then, the only things he'd really join you for would be for some DITHR lessons and the first part of Bible each week. :D

Hope something in there gets you thinking of possibilities and helps!

If giving him more independence adds greatly to your schedule though, or if he doesn't do well working indpendently, then I'd just keep plugging along as is!

Blessings,
Carrie

j_croche
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by j_croche » Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:49 am

fm71 and deltagal,
Thanks for your advice. It is so much easier to figure things out with the support of other moms :D

Carrie and my3sons,
Thanks for showing me how to balance letting my ds have some independence while still having interaction with me on other parts of his school day. I can see where meeting with him at a scheduled time would help. After talking with him, it is clear that he does not want to go back to workbooks . He really loves HOD. He just wants to do some things on his own. It's hard to admit that he may be ready for more independence when I really enjoy having him close by :( . Everyday I see my little boy moving a little further from boyhood as he grows toward becoming a young man. 'Tis so bittersweet. I definitely want to reach is heart through our studies....as this is our main goal in our home schooling.
Blessings,
Jenni





Blessings,
Jenni
Jenni, Mom to a handful of blessings
Ds19 College
Ds18 Highschool Grad
DD15 Homeschool
Ds12 Homeschool
Ds09 Homeschool

my3sons
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by my3sons » Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:19 pm

Oh Jenni - do I know what you are saying! It is so bittersweet. I sometimes feel the time tick-ticking away... 10 years left to homeschool my oldest, 9 years left, 8, 7, 6... it is going by way too quickly!!! Of course there are days when I think, go ahead and tick away Mr. Clock -it's been one of THOSE days. Of course, even on THOSE days, I think how little time we seem to have left to help "fix" whatever character traits cause us to have one of THOSE days - and then I'm back to wishing time would slow down. I love Christian music so much, but there are still some country songs I like, and one of them has these lines:

You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish this time
Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Isn't that just so true? On the one had I am sooooo ready to be done carrying a diaper bag around, and on the other hand, I get all teared up thinking about my baby getting too big to rock anymore. I'm so proud of my oldest growing into such a young man, and I felt like crying when the Payless shoe store told me he was wearing MEN's sizes for shoes now. :shock: Anyway - you have so got your heart in the right place here. How blessed your son is to have you weigh so carefully what is best for him - taking his opinions and merging them with your more seasoned opinions as an adult. May we enjoy each moment with our dc, as there will come a day when they will be adults themselves.

In Christ,
Julie :D
Enjoyed LHTH to USII
Currently using USI
Wife to Rich for 28 years
Mother to 3 sons, ages 23, 20, and 16
Sister to Carrie

Kathleen
Posts: 1980
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by Kathleen » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:07 pm

my3sons wrote:Oh Jenni - do I know what you are saying! It is so bittersweet. I sometimes feel the time tick-ticking away... 10 years left to homeschool my oldest, 9 years left, 8, 7, 6... it is going by way too quickly!!! Of course there are days when I think, go ahead and tick away Mr. Clock -it's been one of THOSE days. Of course, even on THOSE days, I think how little time we seem to have left to help "fix" whatever character traits cause us to have one of THOSE days - and then I'm back to wishing time would slow down. I love Christian music so much, but there are still some country songs I like, and one of them has these lines:

You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish this time
Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Isn't that just so true? On the one had I am sooooo ready to be done carrying a diaper bag around, and on the other hand, I get all teared up thinking about my baby getting too big to rock anymore. I'm so proud of my oldest growing into such a young man, and I felt like crying when the Payless shoe store told me he was wearing MEN's sizes for shoes now. :shock: Anyway - you have so got your heart in the right place here. How blessed your son is to have you weigh so carefully what is best for him - taking his opinions and merging them with your more seasoned opinions as an adult. May we enjoy each moment with our dc, as there will come a day when they will be adults themselves.

In Christ,
Julie :D
:D :cry: :D :cry: :D :cry: :D :roll: :lol: :roll: :D :cry: :D :cry: :D :cry: :D

Oh, Julie, you've got me smiling and crying! (Maybe I'm just too emotional lately... :roll: ) But, you did such a good job of saying what I know is in so many of our hearts. It's always so encouraging to me to realize that there are other moms who are experiencing many of the same joys and trials that I do as I parent and homeschool. And I'm extra-thankful for all of you here at the HOD board who also share a love for the Lord and committment to Him!!

:D Kathleen
Homeschooling mom to 6:
Grant - 19 Kansas State University
Allison - 15 World Geography
Garret - 13 Res2Ref
Asa - 8 Bigger
Quinn - 7 Bigger

Halle - 4 LHTH

j_croche
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Re: Breaking old Habits....

Post by j_croche » Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:45 pm

my3sons wrote:Oh Jenni - do I know what you are saying! It is so bittersweet. I sometimes feel the time tick-ticking away... 10 years left to homeschool my oldest, 9 years left, 8, 7, 6... it is going by way too quickly!!! Of course there are days when I think, go ahead and tick away Mr. Clock -it's been one of THOSE days. Of course, even on THOSE days, I think how little time we seem to have left to help "fix" whatever character traits cause us to have one of THOSE days - and then I'm back to wishing time would slow down. I love Christian music so much, but there are still some country songs I like, and one of them has these lines:

You're going to miss this
You're going to want this back
You're going to wish this time
Hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're going to miss this

Isn't that just so true? On the one had I am sooooo ready to be done carrying a diaper bag around, and on the other hand, I get all teared up thinking about my baby getting too big to rock anymore. I'm so proud of my oldest growing into such a young man, and I felt like crying when the Payless shoe store told me he was wearing MEN's sizes for shoes now. :shock: Anyway - you have so got your heart in the right place here. How blessed your son is to have you weigh so carefully what is best for him - taking his opinions and merging them with your more seasoned opinions as an adult. May we enjoy each moment with our dc, as there will come a day when they will be adults themselves.

In Christ,
Julie :D
Julie,
You have me smiling and tearing up as well. I recently heard the song that you mentioned and cried.
And as for the shoes, we went shoe shopping after church on Sun. and guess what...my oldest ds needed to go up to the men's section too :shock:
It is so wonderful to be able to share this journey with Mom's who understand the joys and the struggles of home schooling.Thanks for helping me along and reminding me to count it all joy!
Jenni, Mom to a handful of blessings
Ds19 College
Ds18 Highschool Grad
DD15 Homeschool
Ds12 Homeschool
Ds09 Homeschool

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