Please pray for me!!!

[slavila]

I'm having one of those weeks!!!! Please pray that I don't do something drastic like enrolling my kids in public school!!! I have pretty much lost all my patience and I'm becoming easily frustrated. My 6yo is highly distracted ALL the time and when we are doing school work he is distracted by the littlest things and he seems like he is in his own little world most of the time. My preschooler doesn't even want to do school anymore! He is in this whinning phase now and whines about everything; he even talks in a whine. Before we started school, I got together a bunch of fun activities to keep him occupied while I do school with his brother, but he could care less and doesn't even want to do them. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. My 18 month old is a challenge as well; keeping her busy and out of trouble seems to be impossible these days. And being 28 weeks pregnant doesn't help my energy level or emotional state!!!

Sorry for the sob story, I just needed to vent to others who might have a clue what I'm going through. The first few weeks of school started off great, but lately it hasn't been going so well and I'm just getting frustrated. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong (or what I'm doing right for that matter).

Please say a little pray for me that the Lord will give me guidance and peace! Thanks so much!!!

[AboveRubiesMama]

Oh I feel your frustration! There are days when I really feel as though I'm going to lose it or wonder if I even know what I'm doing.

I've found the best thing to do during those days is to 1) take a break--just say no school for today 2) Take an outting--even if it means going to Sonic and sitting in the parking lot, sipping a coke. If the budget allows, we'll go down the road to the generic Chuck E Cheese. I'll sit there while the kids run around. 3) Say we're going to have a quiet time for a few minutes, in which the kids go to their rooms and I go to mine and well just have some quiet time. 4) Rent a movie.

Some of this may sound as though it's rewarding them, but the thing is, your kids sound like they're being typical kids but right now you need to take care of *you*. Remember, you're pregnant (I'm 32 weeks pregnant right now--I often talk about my 4th as though they're here, because he or she is included in my school planning next year and also because as far as I'm concerned, I have four kids as it definitely lets me know it's alive and kicking) and more than likely hormonal, emotional, etc. I say this because I know there are days when I have to remind myself that I'm probably not thinking straight. LOL And when the kids are acting up, I've come to realize that my reaction is usually better marked by how *I* deal with something rather than fixing their behavior, at least right now. There are some days when I catch myself really fussing at them, gritting my teeth and everything (of course I laugh about this now), but at the time I wonder how I actually looked to my daughter.

So on those days when I really feel lost and that I'm going to go off the cliff, I've learned the best thing to do is figure out how to make things easier for me so that I can then deal with their attitudes quickly and appropriately. HTH

[mamas4bugs]

As the mother of four, I wholeheartedly second the suggestions of the pp. Sometimes, the only thing that saves my sanity is taking some time off, whether it's a few minutes or a day. I will be praying that your days smooth out.

And oh my gosh do I miss Sonic.

[inHistiming]

Oh! I think it must be the week for 'pregnancy meltdowns"! I am not as far along as either of you...just 16 weeks...but my husband was saying yesterday, to me, that maybe we need to put the kids in school because "maybe it's too much for you." I cringe at the thought...but honestly, it has been "too much" for me lately; not enough for me to actually put them in school, though. The thought has occurred to me more than once, though.

I have been very emotional...in fact my husband insists he knows this one is a girl because apparently I acted the same way when pregnant with our dd. It's tough trying to school 3 different children, who are at three different levels, even when you can teach some of the same subjects to them. We are using Bigger... with the older 2, so much of our day is combined, but it's still a real challenge getting thorugh the day when you have to teach separate English, Math, Spelling, Health, etc. We're trying to use LHTH with ds 5, but many days we don't even get to it because I'm so busy working with the older ones. I have been making adjustments, trying to get the 'right' flow for our days...some days are better than others.

I will pray for you right now that you will be able to find peace amidst the chaos. Do you have family or friends nearby that can help out a bit? It might be a good idea to call on them once or twice a week if possible, just until you've had time to re-evaluate and refuel. Are you able to get some time to yourself at all? If you can, go out for dessert or dinner with a friend, go shopping for some of those baby items you need, or better yet for something just for you. Maybe that would help you gain some peace and get some ideas for different ways to do things at home.

I know it is hard, but maybe take the pp's advice and just watch a movie (it could be educational), read a book(s) together, or get outdoors if you can while the weather is still not too cold or icy. (I need to take my own advice)

I'm sure others will be along too to pray for you and offer their suggestions.

[Candice]

Slavila,

Well, I am still really new to homeschooling, but I can relate a bit. Especially the part about having a whiny one, and a perky little 18 month old running around (she is completely accomplished at single-handedly destroying my house in 10 minutes or less!) getting into everything!
Last week I became so frustrated I considered completely abandoning "everything homeschool", I just couldn't imagine moving forward successfully. Of course, it passed and I am back on the horse again. I just have to remember that this is a season of my life and I need to remember the joyful things that are happening right now.
We ended up taking a break and going down to the educational toy store and indulging in some really fun games. I let my daughter pick out some games that she would like and we have been having some really laid back family time. Sometimes a change of pace helps to refresh everyone.

Candice

[Jessi]

Sarah, I am sorry this week has been difficult. I hope it gets better for you.

Why is it, when it rains it pours??

[my3sons]

Being pregnant can really play with our emotions; I know I was soooo emotional my last pregnancy! I was either way up, or way down, so I can totally understand what you are saying. Reflection on what's REALLY going wrong helps me, and taking a few days off to focus on what needs adjusting is a good time investment. Really, all you need to get done this year is Beyond... with your oldest. Beyond... takes about 3 hours to do, so if you can put together time for that, you'll be set. I think just set LHTH aside for a few months or even until next year. It is a great program, and when you come back to it, your child will be that much older, and that much more ready for it. I remember buying all of these great games and activities for my preschooler to do, and he didn't want to do any of them. Give him some legos and a truck, and that's all he wanted to play with. What does your preschooler love to do? Maybe just let him do that, add in a 30 minute educational video (Leap Frog Phonics is a super one) each morning, and maybe a 30 minute fun video (like Bob the Builder or Barney or an exercise video) in the afternoon. If he won't stay seated for the video, let him eat a small snack (like Cheerios with a few marshmallows and a drink box) while he watches - only as long as he sits. Audio tapes from the library, or a few long ones if you have the funds, and a pair of headphones work well too for preschoolers for 15 minutes or so.

As far as your 18 mo, when does she sleep? I have an 18 mo, and he sleeps from 1-4 PM - which would be enough time to do Beyond... I know children's naps can vary GREATLY at that age though, but whenever your 18 mo naps, I'd do Beyond... and have your preschooler doing something else, and joining in on the active parts of Beyond... Maybe just doing one side of the plans one day, and then the other side of the plans the next day of Beyond... for a few weeks will ease you back in. That only takes 1 1/2 hours a day. I did that for awhile when I was pregnant, and after a few weeks of that, I was ready to do it all in a day.

I also realized that my dc were asking me a LOT of questions because I was trying to control too many things. For example: "Which paper do I use?" I'd go get it for them. "Where's the big stapler?" I'd fish it out of some obscure drawer. "How do I spell *********?" I'd spell each word out for them. "Won't you read 3 more chapters?" I would, and then they'd be mad if I didn't do it every time they wanted me to. "How should I color this?" I'd give specific directions about that. I finally realized that my controlling where the supplies were and exactly how they should do each thing was making them "wait on me" for every little detail. All of those questions drove me nuts! I bought a tool turnaround for their supplies, only gave directions at the beginning of each assignment, accepted less than stellar coloring/spelling for awhile, only went as far in a book as the plans stated, and things improved soooooo much.

I will pray for you, and I want you to know that I have been there before, and things WILL get better. So maybe take a few days off, and reflect on what adjustments might be helpful. Also, renting a FUNNY movie for yourself , indulging in a bit of chocolate, and maybe getting a babysitter for you and dh to go out one time if you can, might help too! Praying for you!!!

In Christ,
Julie

[MamaMary]

Oh (((Sarah)))

I am lifting you up to the Lord right now sweet friend. You are in a tough season, but it is so short. (too short) When things feel out of control, I give you permission to put away all school books and just snuggle

[Carrie]

The ladies on the board are giving you such wise counsel! I find myself nodding with each and every suggestion they shared. To encourage you, I'll tell you that homeschooling is a job, and like any other job there are good days and tough days (sometimes tough months)!

But, in other professions, most people perservere through those tough days and don't quit their jobs. As homeschooling moms it helps to have that mindset too. When we realize there will be seasons in our homeschools where everything is less than rosy, it doesn't take us by surprise when those times hit. As with any job... problem-solving, a vacation, and prayer will make things look better! And a pay-raise wouldn't hurt either!

All kidding aside, remembering that my job is to be a homeschool mother, helps me put the not-so-great moments in perspective... because all jobs have them! It also makes me realize how important what I do is, and how blessed I am to be able to control my work environment!

Blessings,
Carrie

[mom2fiveboysnc]

Lifting up prayers to heaven for you My 6-yr old is getting antsy too so I can relate. Hope things get better.

[trustinghim]

Sarah
My heart goes out to you, it is so nice to know we are never alone, that we have these beautiful women on this board who understand, and we have a Mighty Mighty God, who loves and listens to our pleas for help!!!

Thankyou for sharing your struggle, so we can pray for you. know that you are being carried!!

Love Deb

P.S I love this verse, in terms of how loving God is to those who have young:


He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11

Remember that He has your little ones in His arms, carrying them close to His heart, He wants the very best for them,just like you do!!

He is gently leading you, as you lead them.

[mansmom]

My heart and prayers are with you...

I have a very distractable oldet child as well...I completely second doing as much work as possible when the baby is asleep...we have a 16 month old...it's a sprint to the finish line when he is asleep and NOT destroying everything!! Also, with my distractable child, I learned this year that if I am one on one with her, especially in the areas that she gets destracted the most, she is AWESOME. For her it is math, so if we have had a crazy day and I didn't have time to sit with her one on one to get that done, we do it when my dh gets home. It is not always the most convenient!! But she has flourished this year in her confidence...it might be me not screaming at her to get those problems done?? But really...it completely turned things around for us...and a benefit to hsing is to meet them where they are...I think....

Joy

[Kathleen]

Praying for you Sarah! Hang in there!

Kathleen

[water2wine]

Lifting you up in prayer! You have gotten some great advice. I completely agree with Carrie. This is my job and I am not quitting when I hit the bumps I am just problem solving. I just want to share with you my favorite prayer that God always honors. It goes something like this, "Lord let me see them as you see them, let me love them as You love them and how You would have me love them. Please show me how to teach them and guide me in teaching them they way You want them to be taught." It kind of changes but that is the theme. What happens is I get my focus and reconnect with my kids every time. You may need to add some prayer for wisdom on how God wants you to run your school while pregnant.

Hang in there. You got some great advice from the other ladies!