Help! I've got to change something, but what?

[rgrindle]

We've been with HOD since LHTH. My boys are 19 months apart in age, but I kept them apart due several reasons. Primarily, YDS had some verbal issues and refused to talk very much. He depended on ODS to speak for him, and ODS was always quick to oblige. I couldn't ever assess YDS's progress because I couldn't get him to speak! So, they've been one book apart since K. After oral surgery and speech therapy, YDS is now speaking nearly grade level, though he still does not like reading very much.

Current levels (we school year-round with various breaks throughout the year):
ODS (will be 11 in October): Unit 12 of Preparing (with extensions), finished 4th grade Singapore math, halfway through R&S grammar 4, reading level 5/6
YDS (turned 9 in May): Unit 18 of Bigger, finished 3rd grade Singapore math, nearly done with Cheerful Cursive and R&S grammar 3, hesitant reader, reading level 4

Here's the problem. Between a cross-country move and a drawn-out sickness/death in the family, we have gotten behind in school in general. Plus, ODS is slowing down his school even more. He is taking FOREVER to do his assignments (and staying constantly distracted) because he wants to join YDS in his activities (science, read-alouds, art, and even history). He is beginning to hate school because it takes so long (of course, he's trying to do 2 programs!) They love to do things together, and get along very well, and I'm wondering if I should just go ahead and combine them. We all might get more out of it if we do it together, with activities and field trips that apply to what they are both learning. Or would that be moving ODS FARTHER away from where he needs to be? Is he allowing himself to get distracted because he is bored with his current program and needs more of a challenge?

If I slow ODS down and have them start in Preparing together this fall, then I would still need CTC for math and LA, as ODS is almost done with the upper level of materials scheduled in the Preparing guide. If I jump ODS into CTC, he will miss the materials from the remainder of Preparing, and he may still lag behind trying to participate in YDS's lesson. And I am positive YDS is NOT even close to ready for CTC!

We've been struggling with this for a over year now, and I really think we need to adjust something. Yes, we could just keep plugging away where they are right now (and try even harder not to get distracted), but that plan feels really discouraging to me right now.

[StephanieU]

If you were to look at the placement chart with fresh eyes, where does yds place? Where does ODS place? That might help determine the best way to move forward.

[rgrindle]

If you were to look at the placement chart with fresh eyes, where does yds place? Where does ODS place? That might help determine the best way to move forward.

Thanks. I hadn't looked at that in a while. Here's where I would place them by category:

ODS:
Reading - CTC or RTR
Writing - CTC
Grammar - CTC or RTR
Math - RTR

YDS:
Reading - Bigger or Preparing
Writing - Bigger or Preparing
Grammar - Preparing
Math - CTC

Hmm... I don't know that it helped much. Would Preparing with extensions (and grammar/math from CTC) even be enough for ODS? Would he retain more doing the easier guide thanks to the extras and the social aspect of doing it with his brother? He is very social...

[Gwenny]

If you want to combine, I would have the younger one jump in with the older where he is right now in Preparing--or maybe back up a unit or 2 and start them depending on where a new book starts, etc. I wouldn't bring your older one down and your younger is right in the middle of the age range for the Preparing guide. If you want them combined for the future, this seems like a good time to do it. There are still many many units left in Preparing to get them both ready for CTC. If you need the CTC guide for the schedule for math and grammar, that isn't such a big deal since you can still get the discount later when you order the rest of the materials.

[MelInKansas]

I could agree with Gwenny except for what you shared about your ODS taking forever to do his work and really not diligently getting it done. I would work on this as much as possible before you even make a decision. I guess what you need to know is: is it too much work, or is he just balking because he doesn't want to do it, or because he is distracted. Even if you combine them, distraction might become a problem. There are still some subjects they would be doing separately and he needs to do his own work, and he needs to let his brother do his own work. So I think you need to work on those issues regardless of whether you combine right now or not.

I think combining could work, but I would go with moving the younger one up, IF you think the younger one could handle the increased workload and independence required of him in Preparing. You could jump back a little in Preparing to help him out (though ODS may not want to repeat some). CTC is a big jump from Preparing and I would not suggest putting your older one in that without completing Preparing successfully. You could also have the older one do extensions, even some of them, to enhance his work. But it does seem like combining might help at least. I know my kids do get distracted, especially by read alouds or projects the others are doing. There's so much fun to be had!

[Nealewill]

I think that doing Preparing and Bigger at the same time is insanely time consuming! This alone can cause quite a challenge in getting school done. From what you have shared, I would consider bumping your oldest up to CTC this fall. I would not complete Preparing with him. I think that this will create some nice space between your boys and give your oldest plenty of time to get work done independently.

As for the younger child, I would consider moving him up to Preparing as well and not completing Bigger. This will also give him time to work on things independently. This may help the flow of the day and cut out some of the distractions if he has things he is working on.

[LynnH]

I don't know that slowing down your ODS and putting them both in Preparing is going to solve your issues. It seems like maybe your ODS is a little bored, if he places solidly in CTC. It could also be that as his work gets more challenging he avoids it by getting distracted by the work his brother is doing that seems more fun and is easy for him. I think that can be a tendency in boys especially, that they will pick the easy way out and allow themselves to get distracted. I think I would work with him on not getting distracted by what his brother is doing, and I actually wouldn't allow him to join in with his brothers work. If he knows it isn't an option then maybe he will focus on his own work and finish in a timely manner. I think teaching dc to block out distractions and to learn to get their work done before having fun are important life skills he can carry into adulthood.

The other problem with combining them is he will most likely always be under challenged and from what you have shared your youngest will then feel always pushed to his absolute limit. As he gets up to higher guides, that may become an issue and you might have to slow things down. I think I would have YDS finish Bigger just to really get solid in his reading so that when he has to respond in writing to what he has read he will be more able to do that. I would probably move ODS up to CTC since that is where he places, but only if you think that he can tackle to work in a timely manner and handle the written narrations etc. Maybe if he is more challenged he will be more diligent. I don't know what type of set up you have to school, but if you can give them each their own space that might also help. I know this is a little different from what others have shared, but to me I would just really focus on the issue that ODS isn't doing what he is supposed to do in a timely manner. If you keep him in a lower guide then it will continue for him to goof off and never really push himself to his full potential. It is easier to work on this now then waiting until they are in high school and the work load is so much more.