Older Child Feeling "slighted" in Combining

[mrsrandolph]

I combine my 8 and 10 year olds. My 10 year old cannot grasp why her younger brother is in the same curriculum as her when she is "so much older" than him.

I have tried to explain to her the differences in homeschooling and PS and that the Guides cover a RANGE of ages. But the truth is that the younger child is exceptionally bright while she is an average student. Of course I am not going to say that to her.

Is there any other way I can explain it to her. I don't want her to feel "dumb".

Has anyone else dealt with this?

[LynnH]

Can you tell her that at this point in time it is just easier for you to combine them since you recently separated your older 2 and that maybe down the road you can look at uncombining but right now this is what works. The other thought I had is telling her that even though they are doing the same work that your expectations are different for her than they are for the younger one. That you expect different quality of work from her since she is older. That might have the effect of pushing her a little bit also. Also not sure how quickly she gets done during the day but do you have her doing the extensions or anything that her younger brother isn't doing?

[mrsrandolph]

She is not doing extentions. But he his behind in fine motor, so his notebooking and handwriting looks different than hers. I could add copywork for her. That is a good idea!!

[MelInKansas]

You know your child best, so you know what would appeal to her and what she would probably understand. But I understand this problem. My children always have the issue of not knowing what grade they are in, or thinking when they change guides they've changed grades, or they "didn't finish" a certain grade because we didn't finish the guide that year, etc.

Similarly to what else was said, or maybe even you could try the approach of "well you are combined so that we can do these certain things together, which saves a lot of time, and also you get to listen to the same things and learn the same things at the same time as your brother." That you want to learn together as a family as much as possible? That it gives everyone more time to pursue the things they want or need to do for the rest of the day?

But she is still X grade while he is X grade (at least we end up keeping these distinctions simply because for church functions and our co op they have to have a grade level.) And as was noted, they will have to do their own work in reading, writing, and math and do those things at each of their level.

Think of how best to encourage her in how well she is doing, how much she is learning, and keep reminding her that in homeschooling you just have the freedom to do things that they don't get to do in other places.