example of poor thinking skills

[jetzmama]

Hi Gwenny, Just checking in to see how things are going with your daughter.

[Gwenny]

Thanks for checking in. I did take her for testing. She did well . She's about 7th grade overall, 4th in math. Has no issues with memory or attention. She does have visual spatial skills issues. She can think pretty well only on one track--throwing other things into the mix is difficult for her. (it's been a bit since the meeting finding this out and I don't have the written report yet so can't remember exactly how he explained it) What was really odd with her, or at least he thought so, I have known it for forever-she has NO personality. All the testing they do and questions etc, she did not rank "high" or whatever it is in ANYTHING. Anything she answered about what she likes, what she does, what she's good at, etc, it's all what ever is the most recent thing she's done. The answers he told me she gave for things, it was unbelievable--it all came out to what she just did. Like, he favorite books are adventure (that's the genre she is on in DITHR), favorite thing to do with her best friend, ride horses and 4 wheelers--she just spent her birthday with this friend and that is what she did there--1st time she had done it. Even though she and her friend have done ballet together for years, that wasn't mentioned. The way she spoke about those things made it seem like that's what she does a lot. Anyway, very bizarre. What makes sense about some of these things is that she has NO imagination and never has had one since she came at 2. She can't really imagine, or think about, what she really likes, what she would like to do in the future, etc because that requires imagination-to a degree.

The thing that helped me is: she doesn't have memory or attention issues--so I know now that most of the "I forgot" is not true, it is laziness. Also, he said that she had the traits of one that you could give them a plan and a schedule for the next 40 years and she'd follow it and not feel stifled.

She has been doing really well since I made her a very strict schedule with her schooling, which order to do the boxes and everything. She has to get up at a certain time and do things at a certain time. Things have started to go downhill again as I slacked off in sticking to some of that because she was doing so well I thought she could handle a little more freedom. I know now that she can't.

Sorry to ramble. The testing has helped me to understand my girls better and I'm grateful for that. Thanks for listening!!

[Hope]

Thank you for sharing your update! I am glad the testing helped you so much in understanding your girls!

[my3sons]

...She has been doing really well since I made her a very strict schedule with her schooling, which order to do the boxes and everything. She has to get up at a certain time and do things at a certain time. Things have started to go downhill again as I slacked off in sticking to some of that because she was doing so well I thought she could handle a little more freedom...

Thank you for the update, Gwenny! I was so glad to read that you had tried a schedule out that worked well! I know what you mean about the things going 'downhill again' as you slacked off. I have this with chores at our house. Or, picking up at our house. Or, going to bed at a decent time at our house. Sometimes it seems everything working rests squarely on our shoulders, doesn't it? Well, sometimes, we just have to put it aside for awhile to remember why we do all those things. Today, my dh whisked the dc away to go fishing. They didn't do any of their chores, their rooms are a disaster, and the house needs help. I was going to do it all myself, but I have decided not to. I am instead on the HOD board, sipping my coffee, enjoying 'visiting' with wonderful ladies like you. When they get home, we'll hit it hard together. Until then, it can wait. This is a forced decision on my part, but sometimes, we have to put the 'weight' on our shoulders down for a bit. You are an awesome mom! If you had to put the 'weight on your shoulders' down for a bit by slacking off the schedule for a bit, that's just fine! Sometimes, that's what makes us pick it up again stronger. Keep up the good work with your precious dd!

In Christ,
Julie

[annaz]

What a good discussion here! It does sound like there are some important considerations to make that are unique to your dc's early childhood. I pray you get the help needed in clarifying what may be going on! On a side note, I will say that I find around ages 11 to 15 (notice I have 2 boys right now in this age range ), that hormones are taking over and thought processes do seem to me to be much more jumbled and inconsistent. If I was not correcting my sons' work every day, making sure that each of them completed all they should have by going through things in our daily mid-meeting time and then again at the end of the day, I know things would definitely get missed because I am finding them as we check things together! I also will say that chores in our home need a lot of overseeing and training and checking. I wrote out the steps for doing laundry at one point in frustration that my kiddos were forgetting soap, putting colors and whites together, and washing everything on HOT. It took me forever to write out the steps! There were so many steps - I was shocked! It began to make more sense to me why things were getting missed. However, your examples of your dd (i.e. unloading the dishwasher and ordering numbers from least to greatest for unit #s) don't have many steps and really may be indicative of something more than hormones and failure to have attention to detail going on, especially in light of dd's time as a baby. So, I am praying that you will be able to sort out what may be due to her age, hormones, maturity, and her physical makeup and past. May the Lord make clear what is the best help dd needs, and may He put you in touch with the write doctors should that be what she needs most!

In Christ,
Julie

I can also attest to this. This age they seem to be more like a toddler to oversee; that they've packed their brain somewhere in a drawer and shut it, assuming they actually did "pack it" somewhere, or shut the drawer! I've talked to other moms as well and this is so, so common as frustrating as it is.

Not offering any other help other than what people already said, just commiserating.

[Gwenny]

Thanks ladies!!! It's encouraging to get on here.

Good for you Julie! I have to walk away from the kitchen and the boys room many times saying, "it's not my job, it's not my job" lol I have so many things on my plate that only I can do, I don't need to be spending it on things that many others in the family can do!!

Enjoy your rest Julie!