DD Wants Public School

[TrueGRIT]

You have gotten great responses! I love Julie's - it is much like my husband & I. Queenireneof3 also was really good.
I read this earlier & prayed for you, just now responding because I don't know what you are going through personally.
We have allowed a few neighborhood friends (with guidance) for our children, & they have shared enough about ps that my children don't want to go. I am thankful for the words of these children because they listen better to peers sometimes over parents/adults. ( It also helps my oldest to know I went to ps for 2 years, then homeschooled until graduation.)
I will be praying that eventually it comes to a place where she thanks you for homeschooling her. It will take time, but I am confident it will get there.

[LovingJesus]

You have already received so much good advice and encouragement. I found this thread encouraging to read.

I am not in your shoes, so I can only share what I think I would say if I were.

I think I would talk through the disciples and Jesus ministry and Mary in the New Testament. I would point out that Jesus didn't pick anyone her age to be His disciple. I would talk about how as young as Mary was when she was given the place in history of helping bring our LORD into the world, she wasn't age 12. I would discuss how the many witnesses in the New Testament who walked with Jesus and who witnessed for the early church weren't as young as she is. I would discuss how she is at a beautiful age for nurturing her faith, growing spiritually, and learning more about what being a witness for Christ really means. I would talk about the need for training for any work whether a particular job or being a witness for Christ in the way she is referring to. I would ask some questions if she feels she is being called to be a witness for Christ in the way of a missionary, and discuss that the training for missionary work is still needing to take place before putting her in situations of high persecution (which I see public school as being for Christians). I see age 12 as definitely still young enough to be in the need of training, and certainly too young to truly witness in the way that she opened up to you in her letter.

I would take her letter seriously. If she really feels on her heart a call to missions I wouldn't discount that call in her life from the LORD. I would discuss seriously as well though that now is not the time, and that Jesus did not call children to witness or serve but to come to his knees. I know age 12 is an age in our culture when we start seeing them moving towards adult hood, but in many ways they are still children and certainly aren't ready emotionally or physically for adulthood. I do see witnessing for Christ, in the way she is implying, as needing the maturity of at least early adulthood.

I agree though with the others that there are ways we all witness everyday through our behavior to every person we come in contact with. I would share those ways with her so she can see how she can witness. At her age, since she is interested in witnessing, I would also try to think of a volunteer opportunity that would allow her to serve and put to practice her faith that she seems to want to put to some use and purpose.

After reading Lynn's real life response I would let her read that off of the board to have a glimpse of reality.

I am glad you see this as your decision, and I can see the LORD leading you in His call for you. I want to encourage you to continue in your efforts and the work that you are doing so very well.

We never know truly what we will do in a situation until we are there, but I hope what I think I would do might be of some help. I will pray for you.

[twolittlebears]

I love this thread! I have learned so much from all the amazing posts from everyone. I had a thought that I wanted to add, though it's just an extension about wanting to be a light. I remember being around your daughter's age, and that seems to be when my spiritual giftings began to wake up in a sense. That may very well be what is going on with your daughter. The Holy Spirit may be showing her how He intends to use her, yet she is still under your umbrella of protection as He trains her through you and guides her through you. She may just be sensing Jesus moving in her spirit and leading her. The ideas shared about seeking out venues for her to share the gospel and love on others are excellent! That would provide a safe training ground for her spiritually, while still providing the protection that she needs. Giving her choices of where she can serve too will give her some responsibility and show that you respect her and her thoughts about what is going on inside her little heart. It will give her the validation from you that children need so desperately from their parents. I ditto all the excellent advise that you've received!!

[Glad2Bsaved]

Julie - Yes, I also tell my dc they can be a witness every day. Thanks for the specific ideas especially those for within the family. I've been too general. God's grace shines in your sweet, gentle words!

Stacey - I like the idea of "training time." You would think a home schooling mom would have thought of that.

Sara - Thank you. I do tend to lecture, so your timely words kept me on a better track. Thanks for your prayer. I agree she would benefit from a visit to a p.s. (I've thought this for a while now), but I've been told from someone in a different county that it's not allowed. Maybe I should inquire again.

Mikki - I think some of my dd's friends are envious of her h.s. & make p.s. sound a little better than it really is. Thank you for your prayers.

LovingJesus - Yes, the encouragement is beyond my expectation! I appreciate your thoughts regarding the age of the disciples. My dd did read Lynn's real-life response. Thanks so much for reminding me to take her seriously. Your encouraging words truly blessed me. Thank you for praying.

twolittlebears - Yes, the advice has been excellent. Thanks for sharing about yourself at her age. Sadly, I hadn't considered that at all.


Well "friends", as that is what you've become to me, my dh & I spoke with our dd. She was calm, but kept saying, "But Jesus is telling me this." I used much of your advice and encouragement to get me through it. This year has been one similar to some I've read about on this message board, where there have been quite a few obstacles. My responsibilities have doubled and my dc have had more "alone" time than normal. As I discovered, my dd has been watching some Disney shows (not good influences, yet "G-rated, mom") with teenagers at...where?...HIGH SCHOOL! Some of you hit it perfectly. I know she would go in a minute if we gave the okay, but she understands our reasons and appears to have accepted it. For now, anyway.

Even though I've prayed for strangers, it is so humbling to be the stranger for which others are praying. Words fall short at expressing my gratitude for each one of you, the time you took to encourage me, your advice, and prayers. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

Blessings to you all.
Brenda

[Tiffini]

So many wonderful things have been shared here! I don't have much to add to everyone's wonderful words of wisdom, except to share our personal experience and hope that it encourages you. My oldest, who is now a senior, started asking to attend school in high school. It was a huge shock to us. This came about mostly because of feeling lonely and isolated as most everyone we know started attending our local private Christian school in high school. She felt left behind, left out, and lost. The friends who were attending school started putting down homeschooling kids and these were kids she had grown up with. She is a mature and wise beyond her years young lady who walks with the Lord, so we felt that we must give her opinion weight and consideration. We spent much time in prayer and discussion and with tears seeking the Lord's wisdom and guidance.

I can say now that I am so thankful that we listened to the Lord and His guidance and chose to keep her home no matter how much pressure we faced from many avenues for her to attend school. She did not argue with us or rebel against us as we went through this time. It was just a very rough time for us where the joy of homeschooling was elusive. (I don't know how we would have made it without HOD during this time as HOD was an old friend that we could trust no matter how difficult other issues were that we were facing.)

However, we are now reaping the beautiful fruit of that decision. We weathered the storm and now this same daughter thanks us continually for keeping her home and allowing her this time to grow, develop, mature and become more enabled to stand firm in her faith. As she has witnessed the other kids we know go to a Christian school and receive less than a Christian education, struggle greatly with their faith, lose precious time in rebellion or boy/girl stuff etc., she has realized the gift she was given to be able to be at home to learn without all those distractions. Certainly, kids can struggle with all of those things while being homeschooled, and I am NOT putting down anyone at all who chooses to attend school of any kind, as I know the Lord leads each of us as we seek Him - but I know that for us, we had to tell our daughter "No" even though it meant walking through a very painful season. I believe it would have been much more painful if we had said "Yes".

Praise the Lord who is ENOUGH for every need that we have and every need that our children have. It is not up to us to provide for each need that we think our children have, whether it be friends, activities, opportunities, etc. That is one thing the Lord has made so clear to us. HE will provide what each child needs for the calling that HE had in mind for them from before time began. Praise the Lord!

[Glad2Bsaved]

Tiffini,

Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience, as it certainly is encouraging to me. Peer pressure comes at all ages, doesn't it?! My dd is younger & I'm sure less mature than your dd when she desired to attend school, but it does sound similar to my situation. And when you said, "...the joy of homeschooling was elusive..." that is EXACTLY how I feel. Usually after our books for the new year arrive, I get very excited. I told my dh the excitement was not there, and I attributed it to the difficulty of getting school accomplished with my parents now in our home (last year was very stressful), but you helped me identify another part of the reason. Also, your last paragraph regarding the Lord being enough to provide the needs for our children is what I needed to hear. I've never heard it put that way. You've really blessed me!

Brenda