OT: Homeschooling a child who does not want to homeschool

[mom23]

Any advice for handling this? Our dd has been in ps for her 7th grade year, and really liked it. DH and I feel God is calling us to bring her back home, but I'm quite sure the news will not be welcomed by her. Would be interested if any of you have faced a similar situation, or maybe just have a good insight, on how we could break the news to her, ease our transition back home, and make our relationship with her strengthened. She's always been a bit independent...and, honestly, strong-willed. DH is quite afraid she'll rebel at this crossing of her path. Thanks!

[Jennymommy]

What does God say? If he is leading you in this direction, trust Him. Eph. 4:29 and Prov. 24:3 really speak to me in homeschooling/child rearing. Praying for you.

[hs.mama07]

I don't have any practical advice since mine are still little, just wanted to chime in and let you know I'll be praying for you this morning.

[jjn3beans]

I'm not sure what I'd do. I might be inclined to wait a month or so before telling her, though then she doesn't have as much time to get used to the fact that she's going to be homeschooled. I might use that month in praying over her, asking God to soften her heart. Since this is His plan, He's working behind the scenes in her heart as well. I would start praying that He gives the opportunity and the knowledge to you of where she is at right now. Just to remind her, I might remind her of the schedule and how she'll have more free time (I assume she has homework after school?) After I told her, though, that would be that and move forward with confidence that this is what the Lord wants. I've not been through this, but just thinking on what I'd do with my 12yo.

[Jennymommy]

I agree Julie This is exactly what I have been praying.

[twolittlebears]

I will be praying for you too! I have no experience ini this, but this is what came to mind in what I would say to my boys: One thing you could really emphasize is how dear she is to you, and that you want this time to walk alongside her, that you adore the time with her and God wants her home too! Maybe emphasize she can keep any godly friendships that she has made and that you and DH will help her to keep them going strong. My little guys are only 6 & 9, but I tell them often that I choose to teach them at home because I love being with them, and honestly it just feeds their little hearts. God will give you the most perfect, precious words that her little heart needs to hear. How exciting for you to have her home!! Praying for you.

[mom23]

Thanks for the great advice and the prayers. I did talk to my dd on Fri. evening-I felt she needed the weekend to get used to the idea, and this gave her 1 1/2 days at school to say "good-bye", settle things with friends, and mentally prepare. I have prayed leading up to this decision all school year-that God would soften either her or my husband to the idea of bringing her back home. Either way, because the decision was ultimately up to dh, but the greatest influence in his decision to send her to ps was her desire to go. So, from the moment that my husband began to express a desire to bring her back home, I began to really pray that somehow through this we'd be able to "keep her heart"-to maintain our relationship with her, even though it wasn't what she wanted.

I do feel God is working in this. Our talk went well; although she's "crushed", she was very respectful in asking me what led to our decision, and has not expressed any anger at all; only sadness. And, honestly, even that seems fairly short lived. She'll cry a bit and then go on with a smile. This is surprising to me, as she's normally one to brood more, and to express her sadness in the form of anger and blaming those who she views as standing in her way (normally me! ) This response, though, has been a blessing, because she and I have been able to have several heart-to-heart talks. I know she's sad, but she's allowing me the chance to comfort her.

I've been surprised by how hard it was for me! I've wanted to bring her back since we made the decision to send her last summer! I've felt all along that God wanted this for us, and prayed that he would align my husband's and my convictions with His will, and felt sure that He answered that and led to this. I was surprised to find myself crying along with her when telling her. And questioning in my own heart whether we've done the right thing. It really hurts to break her heart like this! I think this is God answering my prayers-by giving me that genuine empathy for my dd that will be the key in keeping and strengthening our relationship with her, and avoiding her anger hardening her heart toward us and Him. I'm continually reminding myself that God's will does not mean the same thing as our happiness. That he often asks us to do things that hurt in the short term, but really are best for us in the long run. I continue to pray for HIs guidance and confirmation of God's will in this. Now, steeling myself for the next hard thing of breaking the news to our extended family. Her Grandparents are all likely to be as disappointed as her, and not always as respectful in questioning our decision!

[blessedmomof4]

Just wanted to say I will keep you in my prayers. I had a similar situation, a child who did not want to homeschool, and the issues were very complex. She was completely against it at the time, and was very angry about it, as opposed to sad. If anyone had told me what I was in for by bringing her back home, I might have backed out. But I'm happy to say that despite all the challenges, it was worth it. She is working on her senior year of high school now through a mostly online charter school, has goals for her future, and sees the wisdom and love in my decision to bring her home. I pray the Lord lift your daughter's sadness, and strengthen you and your husband through this season. Mostly I pray He makes your paths straight and your homeschooling joyful <3

[Little Women]

When we did this with a dd who had been in a school for a short time, we made sure to join a co-op. It was hard, because I still had little kids to drag everywhere, but the ability to make friends in a homeschool setting was very important.

[twolittlebears]

've been surprised by how hard it was for me! I've wanted to bring her back since we made the decision to send her last summer! I've felt all along that God wanted this for us, and prayed that he would align my husband's and my convictions with His will, and felt sure that He answered that and led to this. I was surprised to find myself crying along with her when telling her. And questioning in my own heart whether we've done the right thing. It really hurts to break her heart like this! I think this is God answering my prayers-by giving me that genuine empathy for my dd that will be the key in keeping and strengthening our relationship with her, and avoiding her anger hardening her heart toward us and Him.

This was so profound to me when I read this! I think that the Lord revealed His intentions to you....to give you a heart of empathy for your DD in this situation, giving you a precious key to her heart. It reminds me of when Jesus cried with Mary and Martha, he had such empathy, even though He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. He didn't walk into the situation proudly, telling them to quit crying, that He knew best, that they should obey more or have faith more. No, He came to them humbly and loving, full of empathy and kindness. You perfectly reflected Him in your conversation with your sweet daughter. What a sweet start to this journey. She will always know that she has a mother that cares and understands her heart. Thank you for sharing all of this! I feel very blessed to read how the Lord is working, it greatly encourages me! You have such a beautiful story already with your daughter just in what you've shared here. The Lord will greatly bless you and your relationship with her for your obedience to Him.

[jjn3beans]

Just echoing that your empathy for her touched me as well. Especially at this age, I think its important to have empathy for our preteens and early teens. I've had my heart softened toward my dd12, who is quite moody, and I try to see things more her way. Sometimes it sways me and sometimes it doesn't, but I always try to keep a soft heart toward her myself, as any hardening on my part will just harden her more. I'm learning as I go, but I'm constantly praying for the relationships between each girl and myself, along with their relationship with Daddy. I feel like I've went from a pond of everything under control (to a degree ) to an enormous ocean with these moods coming with my preteens. I haven't known how to deal with it, but I'm resting in the knowledge that the Lord does know.

[mrsrandolph]

Bottom line (and I believe in Candor)...You are her parents. YOU will be held accountable to God for this decision. She is under your authority for HER good and protection. You ARE doing what is best and what is Biblical. You can explain to her that you are called to do God's will, not hers. It may not be what she wants to hear, but it will do her good to hear that YOU are under God's authority. I will pray for you and her. My Best to you!!