Anyone with winter woes?

[psreit]

I had posted on the weekly check-in last week that my daughter said she loved school. That was huge for all the struggles and frustrations of the past two years. While she is doing school without the moaning like she had been, it seems like I am losing her focus in certain areas. It is appearing she is not remembering what I thought was beginning to stick. I finally got her outside for some fresh air yesterday, but that didn't seem to help. In grammar, for instance, she was working on subject and predicate. No matter how many times I repeated that the subject is who or what the sentence is about and the predicate is what the subject is doing, she still kept getting it wrong. This was not new to her. When we came back to HOD, that was something I had decided to not change up on her right now. She has been doing well in this program, so I thought I would stick with it for while. I'm not sure what it is.

Being indoors a lot, I know she is having more screen time than I'd like her to have. It's hard because she doesn't have other kids to play with when we are home, so I allow a little more than usual. Because of her dyslexia, she is not a reader. She will play the piano, builds tents with blankets, does other doodling and coloring, along with helping me if I get into certain jobs she is able to help with. But, some days those are short-lived. She starts talking about having a friend over because she doesn't know what to do with herself. I hate just letting her watch tv or play games on the Kindle, but there are times I like to have a little time to myself, so then I don't know how else to entertain her. It is really tough since she does not read independently very much. She likes to cook, but, there again, I have to be with her because she can't follow a recipe by herself. Even listening to audio books, she has to be doing something with her hands. She loves to be outside, but even when it is nice, she wants someone to be out with her.

Yesterday we were talking about some of her difficulties with concentrating. She says it is because there is not a baby around her. She thinks we should adopt again so she would have a little brother or sister. With her attention problems, that would be a distraction. But, my dh and I are not planning to adopt again. We have grandchildren out of state, so we will be doing more traveling. She enjoys seeing her nieces and nephews, but traveling is another issue. On long trips, if my daughter isn't sleeping, other than doing some writing and drawing for a while, she wants to play games on the Kindle. We play cds, but she wants to be doing something with her hands. Because of her visual problems, she can't look out the window much, because the movement bothers her. So, I feel stuck. I know screen time can be addicting and is not good for attention, which is a problem she has always had. I feel like I am going about this all wrong, but I don't know what else to do. In the summer, we do spend more time outdoors. Right now, I am at a loss.


If everything works out, we have several days in the next few months where we will be babysitting a 1 yo. She keeps talking about that, but it is almost 4 weeks away. She LOVES babies! My son and his wife are due to have their baby in a couple of weeks, so we will be making a trip there. Angie will be getting a parakeet any day now. A local man raises them, so we're getting a young one, so we will be able to tame/train it. So, we do have some new things to look forward to.

I'm sorry for rambling, but given a picture of our situation, any ideas for individual free time, cutting back screen time for a non-reader? HOD is going well, but I think we may need to go half speed for a little while and allow some extra physical activity. I wish we had a gymnasium here! But that would be more fun with other kids too. I don't mind winter, but we are in a rut.

I made a routine/order for getting HOD boxes done. Is it possible for this unorganized, 53 yo mom to do this with non-school time? Probably not, but, JULIE, HEEEEELP!
.

[chillin'inandover]

Pam,
I can relate to winter woes. Sometimes it is too cold to go outside. I can relate to being older too. 11 is a nice age to develop homemaking skills. Baking, meal prep, c cleaning, and child care. Would she have the skills to be a mother's helper or babysit in your home. Another homeschool family might appreciate someone to look after baby while an adult is home.
We have joined a YMCA. We roller skate, ice skate, and ski. My daughter likes to play outside in the snow. If it is too cold or not just right snow then desire wanes.
we have a gymnastics center that has homeschool cclass and open gym afterwards. Our YMCA has swim &gym. We have Wii Fit, exercise videos, and elliptical machine. Although they take motivation to use, once we start it refreshes our minds.
I have a craft supply area. My daughter loves to create stuff. She never lets anything go into recycling because of her creations.
What I have found is the "I am bored syndrome" can not take root. Our Creator created each one for a purpose. Allowing exploration of our giftings and passions creates an opportunity to discover that purpose. I find that using these electronics destroys passions. Hubby works in computer field so I get that electronics may be a passion. But the electronics I am referring to is the mindless games. I am just as likely to have electonic gaming in our home so this is not stated as a finger pointing remark. I have been there! I have realized that part of my responsibility is to provide an environment that encourages doing. It starts with me being motivated. I model spending time with the Lord, getting plenty of rest, eating healthy food, and exercise.

[psreit]

Thanks, Tammy. All that you have said is good, and there are opportunities similar to what you mentioned. However, the skating and certain physical activities are not doable. Angie was born with CP that weakened the one side of her body. So, we don't go skating, which is going on right now. We do have some outside homeschool activities, but I need to limit how much we get involved in, as it requires a good bit of driving. I know I can be teaching her homemaking skills, and we do those things. Most things I have to be right there to guide her. I was referring more to her time apart from instruction time with me. I did get her a knitting loom that she can do somewhat on her own, but even that requires my time. There are things she could help me with that could cut down on screen time. I probably should make a specific smaller window of time for tv/games, which would force her to do more crafts, etc. She loves art and does draw a lot. But, that requires consistency on my part, which is my downfall. God has given me these grace to be flexible, having a child with medical issues, and running for appts. and long hospital stays for 25 years. But, there are some areas I need to have consistency, especially for Angie. That is why I called for Julie's help. She is so good at following a schedule/routine. Something I'll probably never conquer.

[quiverfull]

Something I'll probably never conquer.

I'm right there with you!

[MelInKansas]

I know it's not ideal, and my oldest DOES love to read on her own so she definitely does that with some of her free time, but there is more screen time in the middle of winter for sure. We limit it to during 2 hours in the afternoon which gives me the downtime I need and limits so they are not always asking about it. Also it's dependent on them completing their school work and chores and practicing piano before then. I too lament that there are a lot of other things we can do with our time, but as mentioned, this is the time we live in. We try to not develop habits and get addicted to these things and I do see that my kids are spending time together, playing games, doing crafts and activities, etc. I could do better with having us do less screen time but for now I am happy with the balance we have and realize that sometimes we make compromises to give me a break.

So, you're not alone.

[psreit]

Thanks for the encouragement and understanding. I am determined to make some kind of change, but one problem can't be solved. No younger siblings for Angie to play with. I guess I'm it. As I was writing this, we got a call saying Angie's parakeet is ready to go! So, now she will have something to occupy her time. Answer to prayer.

[MelInKansas]

A pet is a great thing for her to have something to care for and a little companionship. Are there any other homeschooled kids she would like to have playdates with? It's true that we have a full house and so no one is ever lonely. But I know God gives us grace and provides for us in all situations so I'm sure He will provide for you and Angie. Probably having the 1 year old over she will realize why it's nice to not ALWAYS have a little brother or sister around

[psreit]

Melissa-Four years ago we took a newborn through a local prison ministry. Angie was only seven and did get jealous. But, she loved her and was sad when she left. Now, Angie would love helping to care for a baby. I had thought about babysitting, but with Angie's academic struggles, it would be a big distraction during school time, although we are going to fill in a few days with the 1yo. We do get together with other homeschooling families, but not on a regular basis. We are spread out, so it is not possible to do it regularly. Hopefully the parakeet will keep her entertained when we are not away from home.

[LynnH]

I completely understand winter woes as I struggle with seasonal blues and I suspect my ds does also. We have had to get creative to give him some outlets thus the gymnastics vault in our living room-ha ha.

Here are some ideas just off the top of my head. Since she is getting the parakeet maybe tie that in with outdoor birds. Not sure if you have the area to set up an outdoor bird feeding station, but if you did she could get a simple bird identification book with good pictures so the struggle with reading isn't an issue and she could keep track of the types of birds at the feeder. There is even a winter bird count you can get involved in where you submit data to a national database. I am a huge advocate of volunteering. especially for kids with any type of special needs, because I have seen how volunteering at the animal shelter has really helped my ds is so many ways. He does things there like laundry and cleaning windows that he complains about if he has to do them her. If you can't get out to a volunteer opportunity then how about finding some crafts that she can make for Operation Christmas Child boxes. I have seen some cute bookmark ideas or other things that kids make all year round to then put in the shoeboxes. This would give her a purpose for her crafting.

I know you said her CP limits what physical activities she can do, but around here we have gymnastic and karate places that are more than willing to take kids with mild CP. My ds got his black belt in karate. Yes it took him much longer and he never had the power or speed with his moves the other kids had, but it was great for teaching him to focus and was the best physical therapy he could ever have. It won't work for this year but if you have Upwards basketball anywhere near you I know they are more than willing to take girls with special needs into their cheerleading program. Just some thoughts.

[psreit]

Lynn-Thanks for the ideas. Yes, there are activities like you mentioned, but Upwards is too far to drive on a regular basis, and I don't think Karate would be for Angie. I guess the idea of running to things like that on a regularly basis is something we are trying to avoid. We do go to homeschool activities and go visit friends now and then, but I think dh appreciates when we are home, since life has been running and running so much since our rd was born 25 years ago with spina bifida and has been doctoring 3 hours away for all these years. Now we have kids/grandkids out of state, so we will be traveling more to visit them. All I will say is that we have put many, many miles on our van in the almost five years we had it. So, the weeks we are home more are when we have this problem. When the weather gets nice, I want to get out more for physical activity. We just got six inches of snow, so now I can get her out for some sledding. But, having the parakeet now will offer some competition. But, at least for a while, she may not be asking for a lot of screen time.

[Nealewill]

Yes, we are definitely tired of cold weather and being trapped in the house. Not sure if you are looking to make changes or if you just want support that you are doing fine with her. I know my neighbor has an only child and she has set limits on screen time at her house. It works well for her. And her son seems very happy. He is 5 and he watches around 2 hours a day. At my house, my kids get very little screen time because it is horrible for them. They act horrible when it goes off and horrible when they get too much (as in they then want it all the time and act poorly when they don't get what they want). We have come to a point where my kids only get about 30 minutes max on weekdays, never at lunch time, and usually there are 2 or 3 weeks day they don't get any screen time at all. I also find that my kids are to point now where even though they have siblings, they play alone a lot. Because I am running 3 guides, two of my kids are usually doing school at any given time and then 1 is on break. This has been tough for my two youngest kids because they have been used to playing together all time when they are on break. Up until this year, they did most subjects together. This year, they don't do much together at all. Here are some things that might help you if you are looking for ways to get a break but not have Angie get on media (but if you aren't looking for ideas, just ignore )

1. I set time limits for myself where I need to be left alone. I work from home and need to be left alone at that time. And then I just need down time like everyone else. I need to be left alone then too. I have employed timers in the past but all of my kids can read clocks now so I can now just give a time frame. And when I tell my kids I need to be left alone, they don't bother me .... at all! They may not ask me for help in anything that they are doing. I will not get their snack. I will not get their drink. You must leave me alone unless the house is burning down LOL. I would start small but work it up to an hour.
2. I never direct my kids free time! I have in the past given them ideas of things they can do but they are too the point now that if they can't come up with something, I will give them chores to do. Please don't misunderstand. I am not being mean. I am trying to help them become self reliant and independent.
3. We have books on CD all the time in our home. My two oldest don't really like to sit and read - they read for school and love what they read but they do not sit and read on their own....ever! But my kids do love books on CD. They will sit and play legos, do a puzzle, art, whatever and listen to a book on CD. This, I find, has been a healthy and wonderful median between having some form of media but not having the negative effects of being addicted to it. My library has a very nice selection of books and we will listen to some books over and over again.
4. I let my kids have quite a bit of freedom in doing things on their own and try to not step in. For example, if they want to paint during free time, then that is fine. They must get out the table covering, get out the paints, get their water, get the brushes, get the medium, etc. When they are done, they must also clean it ALL up alone. Sometimes they have made a mess. That is okay. I am there then. But in general, I try to stay out of the way. Even in the kitchen, I stay out of their way. If they want to make something, I will give directions but the only thing I help with is putting things in the oven and then getting them out. Other than that, they are allowed to use the skillet by themselves. I am in the house and usually one room over (I can see them the whole time) but I want them to do things alone. That is just my parenting style.
5. I try to fill my house with things my kids can do alone. We try to have games they can play independently (like Anti Virus from Smart Games and a game where you have to get the car out of the puzzle). Some of these were inspired by video games. But we have the tangible games. We also have snap circuits - LOVE - and lots of building things. These things don't require reading. My oldest loves to play the piano and she will play for an hour if I let her. I just let me kids be kids and do what they like. As their parent, I provide what they need to do it. But I try not to direct it or give them ideas of how to spend their time.
6. We schedule time to play! That probably sounds like I am rigid and don't want to play. On the contrary, I do want to play. That is why we "schedule" it. We regularly plan family game night where my husband and I both will interact with the kids. It is a lot fun - usually including things like popcorn and hot cocoa or pop. We will schedule family movie night. We try and schedule our fun. It helps us to follow through and helps my kids to know that we are making time to give them our solid attention.

I will be praying for you with your choices. I know it has be hard when all she wants is screen time. If you do make some changes, don't give up after the first days. It is gonna be tough! Just expect it and embrace it. It gets better within a week or two. And you may be surprised with what she comes up with on her own. I may sound mean, like I am harsh, but my kids really exhaust me. I am half way between being an extrovert and an introvert. I need alone time!!!! It makes me a better wife and mother. And my kids seem happy enough They are very independent and I like it that way. I joke with my hubby because he is the people pleaser and likes to "mother" the kids. I am the opposite. I say sink or swim and I don't care what the kids think LOL. God obviously has a good plan for him and I to be together and balance each other out. But hopefully the next few months go well for you any changes if you are looking to make them.

[my3sons]

Winter woes are common here in SD, where winter weather can last up to 6 months! I was reading through your post and thinking that I don't want you to feel guilty about not keeping a schedule so carefully! I have used more of a routine these past years myself, and considering you are homeschooling 1 child, I don't think having a pat schedule is that crucial to the success of your day. I was thinking back to the times when I've used more of a routine than a schedule, and I remembered a summer in particular. I thought I'd share this 'routine' that is not really a schedule, and not so much a 'routine' really either other than certain things must be done each day. Maybe it will appear to your rebel side in regard to not enjoying a schedule!

So, I took a different approach. There were things I knew I wanted in their day, and then there were things I wanted them to be able to decide when and how long to do. I got a folder, some velcro, and halved some index cards.

The things I wanted them to have in their day for sure I put on index cards first, and if I wanted them to be done a certain time, I wrote that on the card too. Some things that fell into this category were a 45 minute playtime for each of the olders with our toddler (keeping this up in the summer sure helps the school year go well), life skills time (a time I'm working on training the boys in new chores and life skills for the next school year), a video for Emmett so the olders can have time just the 2 of them, an audio book time, outdoor and indoor playtime, and a time to encourage others. I also wanted the boys to rotate through some different things during their playtime with our toddler, like puzzles, lakeshore games, coloring, educational computer, playdough, books on tape, etc. So, I put these on smaller strips of paper too. I put velcro on the back of each card and on the inside of the folder. I stapled a ziplock back to the other side of the folder with "DONE" written above it.

Each day, the boys get to choose an order for their day. It has already been such a good learning experience! They are learning to manage their time and work together. We have figured out a few things. First, Wyatt likes to tell everyone what to do - he's the oldest, and used to being in charge, so we had to have a talk about how everyone gets input in this. Second, Emmett just wants to play with either Wyatt or Riley first. Third, Riley just wants to play computer with Wyatt first. So, everyone compromised except for Emmett, as he's the youngest. They do a playtime with Emmett first. Computer for Wyatt and Riley is second. Wyatt pretty much picks the rest of the order of the day, and everyone is so happy!

There are pictures on my blog that may help visually show this better!
http://my3sons-julie.blogspot.com/2011/ ... utine.html

In Christ,
Julie

[psreit]

Julie, I like the idea of putting things on index cards. Since I only have Angie, this gave me an idea. I do have a 'routine' for schoolwork, which seems to be working nicely. Angie likes to follow the list I made with the order of subjects. I was thinking for non-school time, I could put activities, chores, cooking, etc. on the cards, put them in a bag, and let her pick one out of the bag at a time to do during break or after school. I could include a video or a specified amount of time for electronic games, so it would provide consistent limits on those things. Even getting the parakeet out of his cage to hold and play with. So far having the parakeet is giving her something else to occupy her time, but she already has it spoiled, so it makes noise when we are doing school work because it wants out of it's cage. I was partly responsible for that too. So, we need to regulate times for him being out. We finally got some snow, so she will be more inclined to play outside too. Anyway, thanks for the idea. I just needed someone who is creative to get me started.

[psreit]

I guess my idea isn't going to work quite like I thought. Some things will have to be after school, while some would be during breaks. But, I am on the right track....I guess. Something will come together. Julie got my wheels turning. If we get some kind of order to our days it will be a miracle.