Going forth with a delayed reader

[Mumkins]

We're working hard, we won't be starting Preparing til next year, but, barring some miracle, my almost 9yo DD who's doing Bigger, will not be ready for Preparing next year and CTC the following seems mind blowing. She hates reading. It's such as struggle. She has visual perception issues and we hope to start therapy soon. I just can't ever imagine her being able to handle much reading. Right now, she can fluently read books like 'Owl at Home'. Much higher and it's a struggle. I know I'm borrowing trouble by looking too far ahead. My heart is just heavy for my little girl who's struggled so much. She hates writing too. But she's doing well with Bigger, she's even doing R&S 3. She's bright and I don't want to hold her back when she can grasp everything, she just can't read very well.

[psreit]

I'm right with you, as far as the reading, and my dd is 11. She is currently reading the first CLP Nature Reader, but I still have to sit with her to make sure she is reading the words accurately. She not only has problems with visual perception, but she also has dyslexia. I am planning to come back to HOD and place her in Bigger. She completed half of that in 3rd grade, two years ago, but it was a rough year, so that is where I am going to put her. I thought about placing her in CTC! I was also looking ahead, and it is overwhelming when they have the reading problems. But, I remember someone here saying one time that they were still reading to their child because of dyslexia at an even older age than mine. Sometimes I wonder if my dd will ever read independently. Hang in there. It does get better.

[Nealewill]

I will just pray for you right now God, I lift this momma up to you who sounds tired and frustrated. I pray for guidance for her as she moves forward with her daughter's education. I pray for peace for her choices. And I pray for blessing heaped upon her endeavor. I also pray for her daughter to get the hang of reading and for her to grow a love of books! God, you are wonderful and we know your plans are best. Please help this mom to see the path you have chosen for her daughter. And help her stay steadfast to you. In your precious son's name we pray, Amen.

As an encouragement to you, I would really not worry about the path that lay ahead. You are right when you say you are borrowing trouble. I SIGNIFICANTLY struggle in this area myself!!!!! God has done an amazing work and released me of significant portion of this strong hold but in the past, I have had nights of so much worrying that I couldn't fall asleep until 5:00AM or later because I would get so worked up. Two of my kids struggle with reading. You are not alone. I personally would constantly pray that I would be a patient mom (um...failed so many times and still failing) and that God would fix it. With my oldest, not until this year could she actually read much. She did Preparing last year but she struggled through some of those books and the volume. Because of her mild dyslexia, she can read but it definitely takes her longer. However, every year she increases in speed. Because she has mild dyslexia, learned lots of different techniques and employed them. My son has auditory processing disorder and he needed some special techniques too. He didn't struggle as much with phonics but struggles with concept of language. So he can't break down words that are multi-syllable easily and he doesn't recognize nearly as many words when trying to sound them out (so he can keep sounding something out, even say the right word, but he won't recognize it). And he struggles with writing but he preservers. God made him how he made him. Who am I question that. I love him to pieces and I know God loves him more. So I am just giving it to the Lord. I am also praying that God will bring clarity for him and I have seen huge changes this year in him already. So I am truly praying for you. Don't let Satan get you down. He has kept me down to long in this area and I am just saying NO him! Keep your eyes lifted up. Many moms on here have proceeded with higher levels who have dyslexic kids. They have some wonderful tips through out. Also, as you get to each higher level, jump on the board and ask what others did. I wouldn't necessarily aim to slow down in level. I would seek to see what others have done and go from there. You may decide to eventually slow down and you may not. The beauty of the HOD products is that you can easily modify lower level products to be high school worthy. And most of their products are multi grade anyway.

[Mumkins]

Thank you ladies.

Psreit- Thank you for sharing. I hope things go well with your daughter.

Nealewill- Your prayer brought me to tears. You are right, I am frustrated. Not so much with her as it's not her fault, but me. I brought my oldest home from K after watching her struggle so much. I didn't pursue testing with her, but since doing so with my younger, based on all the questions for Auditory Processing, I can see my older struggled too. I would live any suggestions you have for CAP. My oldest took off in reading around 8 1/2. I'm hoping my younger does too. It just seems so much harder for her. I know there was a time I thought my oldest would never read. Now she reads 1" thick books a day. I hope the same for my younger, but they have very different personalities and I don't think my older dealt with visual, just auditory.

[psreit]

I'm not sure what grade your daughter is in, but you mentioned she was 9 years old. I have heard, even from professionals, that around third grade is when learning disabilities really surface. That was absolutely the case with my daughter. Third grade was a horrible year for us....so many frustrations and tears. I knew previously that she struggled some with reading, but didn't realize how much until that year. That is also when I realized she had a serious deficit in math. That alone made the frustrations escalate. After seeing an education specialist, she recommended a special program in math and also an OG program because of my daughter's dyslexia. I won't get into all that, but I wanted to say that after several months of this OG program, which my daughter eventually became bored with, I could tell it was time to put her back into real books. I could not believe the difference in her reading! I became frustrated because the OG program was not working anymore. But, when I stopped it in the middle of the 3rd level (there are 10 levels in the program) and gave her a real book to read, she was so excited. The OG program limited her exposure to new words, which Charlotte Mason calls twaddle. I'm sure some of the techniques in the OG program helped, but I really believe that giving her the real books once again, challenged her to really try to learn to read better.

As she matures and sees what others her age are doing, it challenges her to work harder at reading and even her math is slowly improving, even though having the dyslexia gets in the way some days. Some days she can read perfectly, while other days she will stumble on many words, even easy ones. I wish I knew why some days she reads great and others she stumbles. Although I still need to sit with her while she reads, her reading has improved and continues to improve. She gets so excited when she can read a whole section or page without any help. I said all that to encourage you that, as your daughter matures, you should see a difference in her attitude, as well as some things just 'clicking' that you just thought she was never going to get. My daughter may never 'catch up' to what others in her grade are doing, but I am so pleased with the progress she is making right now. I'm sure in 2 years you will look back and be thanking the Lord for the progress your daughter has made.

Comparing to how things went for us, I would say you are at that tough spot right now. If you need to relax on the other work and focus on reading for a while, there is nothing wrong with that, if it will keep the guides from moving too fast. That is why I am going back to Bigger, to give my daughter more time to practice reading to become independent, as well as her maturity and difficulty in processing certain things. Don't look ahead. It is stressing. Focus on what she needs now and help her gain confidence. Don't be discouraged. When my daughter was 9 years old, I was throwing my hands up, not knowing how to help her, and at the same time she was developing an 'I hate school' attitude. How I reacted was not positive, so I know it was not a help for her attitude. I still need extra patience some days and do not always respond with patience, but it is MUCH better. Angie still says to me, after I say good-night and turn her light out, while I am walking out of her room, "No school tomorrow?" I say "Yes, we're having school tomorrow," We go back and forth a little. It's become a game now, where it used to be more serious.

Simplify if needed, to help your daughter gain confidence and also to develop a more positive attitude. That's what I did, and now we are moving forward. Keep looking to the Lord for wisdom. When we try to find solutions in our own flesh, we fail. I have learned that far too many times. God's grace is sufficient.

[Mumkins]

Thanks!

We're using All About Reading which is OG, but she hates it! The stories are soooo long. She does well with the flash cards and other work, but when it comes time to read the readers, she balks. I tried having her read Animal Adventures and she loved it at first. After about 3 chapters though, it really became evident that she needed controlled readers that only have what she's been introduced to. We've finished level 3 of 4(not grade based) and the company recommended she go back and read all the stories from levels 2&3 to gain fluency, before starting with 4. We're working on that now. I do wonder if we should just do the ERs instead. She can read Owl at Home fluently. But then I worry about what she'll miss in AAR. She likes real books though and wants to read them. I know forcing her through a program she dislikes won't help. But I've learned so many tips and tricks to help her and rules to point out that I didn't know existed even. I'm so torn up over this. I'm not sure what will help her most.

She's in grade three, though we held her back a year. She was at a Christian school. She was reading a grade and a half behind and they felt holding her back would be wise.

[Nealewill]

I am going to go against the company's recommendations here! My son did AAR because of his APD and does like the readers. By now, since she has finished 2 & 3, she should have the tools to be able to read most books. My son is completing level 4 right now and it is finishing up phonics but honestly, we probably could have not done level 4 too. It is mainly sight words.

If it were me and I were you - I would stop using AAR and have her read through the early readers and go through the alternative titles. At that point, if she is still struggling with reading after this year, then I would invest in level 4. But even if you buy level 4, I would only buy the teachers manual and the student sheets. Skip the readers. If she hates them, don't do them. They are basically glorified later emerging reader books anyway IMHO. I share this because I am having both of my two youngest go through AAR. My son with the ADP does it all. But he loves these books. My 6 year old can read very well but she hates the readers. I have her listen to the lesson, then she reads the fluency sheet (level 4 is MUCH lower key and much less for the fluency sheets than level 2 & 3), and then she is done. AAR takes my two kids at the same time about 10 min total. Then my son will read the reader on the days he is to read. My youngest never reads the reader. She reads well and is reading most of Little Hearts to herself. I only have her sit with us during AAR because I don't listen to her read much out loud and I want to see if she can read. She always reads it right and well. Plus she can tell me everything that happened in the books she reads so I don't listen to her much.

As for my son who struggles though, I found that he "could" read the level 2 books even after finishing 1/2 of level 3 but if he made a mistake, he would keep making that same mistake over and over and over again. For him, he loves AAR so we are doing level 4 now. We are about 1/3 of the way through. Once we are done, I think he will be flying through the Level 2 books. He has already read a couple of them but we will finish the rest once he finishes level 4. As for my youngest, she reads whatever she wants this year and she loves to read. I haven't really pushed her one way or another because she is very particular about what she wants to read. I also know that for my oldest, in 3rd grade is when we spent quite a bit of time working on the reading. I would sit and listen to her a lot. We would break up her reading during the day and she was reading for about an hour a day. Sounds mean but no one complained. They knew what was expected and I was very patient with them. If they missed a word, then we would analyze it, go over the rule, break it down - my son goes to the tile board a lot. For my oldest dd, if she finds a book she loves, she will work a lot harder to figure it out than if it is a book she hates. Preparing ended up being her cure for loving books. She LOVED those books. I think because we did Preparing last year, she was so excited about what she could discover in a book and couldn't wait to tell me. Even this year, she loves the Zoology book. It takes her about forever some days but she loves it and she works hard and doesn't complain. The history book is also one she enjoys (not as much as science) but she always comes to me after reading and says something like, "Mom, you are not going to believe this........." It is good. I feel like she is empowered to take responsibility for herself with her school books, she likes this feeling and she has risen to the challenge.

So I guess if it were me, I wouldn't worry so much about perfectionism while she reads. I would have her read to you things she likes right now. I would drop the reading program. If the book is harder, I would have her read a page, you read a page, her read a page, you read a page for now. Find something she loves! She will then want to sit and read with you then. I did this for a year with oldest dd and we would spend about 45 minutes to an hour a day reading (broken up of course). While the emerging readers are great books, if your dd hates them, then I might even deviate if you need to just to get her excited. If you have finished level 3 of AAR, then your child should have the phonics they need to read most of the emerging readers. If your child doesn't like them for some reason (maybe because she older she may not like some of the books but ds recently just picked up Tornado and read it for 3rd time....yes, he loves that book ) then have her read something else. My kids all loved the Little House on the Prairie series. My oldest would sit in her bed 2 years ago and re-read those books (we read at night to the kids before bed time - this series has been one my kids adored). My oldest dd also loves biographies - she has read several of the young patriots series. My son loves the Nature Readers from Christian Liberty Press (he read the one last year that is in the Emerging Readers set and begged for more). My oldest likes mysteries, biographies, historical fiction, and folktales mainly. My son likes non-fiction books and biographies the most. My youngest - I haven't got her figured out yet. She seems like she likes fantasy and non fiction but she pretty much likes everything so far. I would just try to ignite a fire

It may not feel like it but it seriously sound to me like your dd is right on the verge of getting it and getting well. Don't give up! Don't feel hopeless! (That was me - I felt SO hopeless and felt like I was failing my child!!!) She will get it. Just breath and let her go at her pace. And we read over the summer too. Not sure if you do that but I really couldn't take that time off or my kids would forget how to read.

[psreit]

Daneale is right. You could go on and on with phonics instruction. I had my daughter in Plaid Phonics, thinking that if we do that, it would help her read and spell better, since we had stopped the OG reading program. That phonics program could take you to at least 7th grade if you kept going with it. HOD schedules the Reading Lesson. When that's completed, the phonics instruction is completed. A child is ready for the emerging readers. If your daughter can read Owl at Home, I think you could just have her do the ER's without phonics. Like in our case, you may need to stick with ER level books longer than most, but her reading will improve just by having her read good books. She will constantly be exposed to new words, which is what CM would have wanted for her students. If she comes to a word that she can't figure out, you could go over the phonics/spelling rule yourself. Too many 'rules' can be frustrating for children with processing difficulties. That is why we stopped the OG program. After learning the basic sounds and digraphs, it just became spelling rule after spelling rule, and it was driving her crazy trying to remember all the rules. I used a unit study with my older girls quite a few years ago. The author, with a specialization in language arts, said the best way for children to learn to spell is by reading and writing. So, that is what I am focusing on with my daughter, and it is working. Yes, she does have very small spelling word lists that she works on, but I think most of her learning is through reading and writing. I know your thread is about reading, but I think phonics/spelling rules go hand in hand. I think your daughter would be fine just reading good books. The year my daughter first began ER books, she read a certain number of them and then we hit a roadblock. It sounds like that is where your daughter is in ER levels. They do get a little more difficult as they move on. So, if Animal Adventures is still too difficult, find books on the earlier ER level and just let her keep reading those. Her reading WILL improve. I have seen remarkable improvement in my daughter's reading from last year to this year(5th). Just hang in there.

When we stopped the OG reading program in 4th grade, the first book I gave my daughter was Animal Adventures. She didn't do exceptional with that, but she was reading well enough that it really excited her. I know if I gave it to her now, she would do much better. There are still 4 of the ER books she hasn't read, because I was having her read other books on similar levels. She just started the Nature Reader last week. Today she was reading about spiders. She read twice as much as I required! And I hardly helped her with any words. She said "Can I read more? This is so exciting!" Can you tell my daughter likes science/nature? I want her to read the other three ER books and then I will just continue to have her read more books on ER level, like more Nature Readers. I'm not sure how long we will stay there, but I'm not going to fret about how things will work out in the future. I have to keep my focus on 'now' and trust God that He will pave the way. I told my story to encourage you. Keep pressing on.

[Mumkins]

Thank you ladies so much!!

I went through the ER set. First book I got to that we hadn't already read was Amelia Bedelia. Ladies, it was awesome. I could have almost cried. She was reading perfect. Changing tones and everything. Just perfect. So nice to see her read and not struggle. I told her to just read as much as she wanted. She read two days worth and said she wanted to stop to get her hat ready for kids club at church tonight. It's crazy hat night. Anyways, it was so nice to see her read like that. I didn't even know she could read like that. So, I think we'll go forth from here. We'll do ER and move into level 2. If it's too hard, we'll buy level 4 at that point.

Thanks for talking me through everything. I'm feeling much more hopeful.

[psreit]

That is wonderful to hear! I can totally identify with how you feel. This will really help to build confidence. Rejoicing with you.

[Nealewill]

I glad you are feeling better It is such a good feeling.