Question about Children's Grade Level

[tnahid]

I am wondering how many of you have children who are one year behind where they could be in "school." For example, my son is almost 10, in Feb., and he is on 3rd grade level math. His reading is 4th or 5th grade, but his math and LA are 3rd.

Do you find that your children who started one year later are doing better overall the older they get? Or do they tend to kind of stay behind all the way through?

Both of my sons are one year
'behind" according to grade level, and sometimes it concerns me. Like yesterday, for example. Someone asked my son what grade he was in (this was another homeschooler ) He said, "3rd" and the lady kind of gasped like, "What? I thought you were like in 5th or something! You are so tall!" Well, then I had to explain that he is a year behind what his age level could be, blah blah, that his father is 6' 3" blah blah...it is irritating! Because for one thing, he does look like he is 11 or 12.

Can someone please chime in here on this issue. I don't want to be motivated by fear, but I don't really want my son to have to go through this kind of stuff though either (although I must admit it bothered me WAY more than it did him. ). LOL!

Thanks for any of your thoughts or help on this.

[Heart_Mom]

I don't know if I can really be of help, but I did want to let you know that you're not alone!

My oldest is 9 (he'll be 10 in July), and he is also in 3rd grade. His reading level is probably higher than that, but his math and language skills are just barely 3rd grade.

It's easy to feel insecure about this, but I keep reminding myself that it's not going to help him to rush ahead to what he's not ready for.

Beyond is a good fit for him this year, and next year we're planning to do Bigger with extensions. We'll probably be doing R&S English 2, so that I can teach him and my daughter at the same time.

I'm curious to hear if anyone else has some insights/experience here....

[sharonb]

We decided a long time ago to go by what grade they would be in if they were in public school, regardless of what they are actually doing (as far as what to answer when people ask what grade they are in). That ensures they are with children of the same age in Sunday School and other activities. So, if you are planning on homeschooling long-term and being "behind" won't be an issue, then that's an option. I guess that wouldn't work if you are planning on putting them in school at some point.

I don't have first-hand experience, but I know that my SIL has some children working a grade level below where they'd be in school, and they are doing fine. I think it's smart to take the time to cement everything without rushing through it. Her oldest got his GED last year and just finished his first semester of community college with straight A's. So, even though she's been pretty relaxed with school at times, and some of her children seem behind, in the end it all works out!

[mommadonna]

I feel your pain. Even though my ds is just 6, we decided to start him in K a year later than we could have because of his late birthday. All of my hsing friends and others who have dc just a few weeks older and some even younger than my ds went ahead and started their kiddos earlier, when they were just 4 or very early 5. It is irritating to get the questions and comments, especially from other hser's who should know better. But for me, I am thankful everyday that I catered to his needs and didn't give in to the push of what others were doing.

[Heart_Mom]

I feel your pain. Even though my ds is just 6, we decided to start him in K a year later than we could have because of his late birthday. All of my hsing friends and others who have dc just a few weeks older and some even younger than my ds went ahead and started their kiddos earlier, when they were just 4 or very early 5. It is irritating to get the questions and comments, especially from other hser's who should know better. But for me, I am thankful everyday that I catered to his needs and didn't give in to the push of what others were doing.

We chose to do this for my oldest son, and it was definitely the best thing to do. I'm planning on waiting until my younger daughter is almost six to start Kindergarten. I could start her this fall when she's just barely five, but I think it would make the year a struggle for her. If I wait a year, I think it will a joy for her! It's really about doing what is best for your individual children!

[mrskturner]

My ten year old daughter has dyslexia and dyscalculia, so she is behind in language arts, reading, and math. She is currently working on 2nd grade math and 3rd grade english, it is wear she needs to be. I can't "wish, pray, or hope" her into a higher grade. Believe me, we have tried! We often recite Psalms 139:14, especially on difficult learning days. She is also very tall for her age, which is the reason that the public school principle gave for passing her onto third grade when she had failed the 2nd grade EOG. ( I am pleased to say she passed the 2nd grade EOG last year!) So this year she will take the 3rd grade EOG and I honestly don't expect her to pass it. She has a really difficult time retaining math facts. Or sometimes retaining anything. But for the sake of fitting in and getting past the "what grade are you in" questions, she says she is in 4th grade and next year she will say she is in 5th grade.

I really struggled with this at first. But I have a close friend whose son is in public school and he also has dyslexia. We have discussed our children's learning disabilities for endless hours. Her son is 11 and in the 4th grade. He failed the 3rd grade EOG, but they moved him on to the 4th grade and will continue to move him up grade wise, but give him less work or tweak his assignments because of his IEP due to his dyslexia. So I figured, just keep saying she is the next grade level and keep working with her where she needs to be at.

[tnahid]

Thanks for all your thoughts and comments. They are really helpful! Bless you all.

[my3sons]

Tina - my dc are in different levels of LA and math based on their needs. I have been embarrassed before when people have asked what grade they are in and they look at me with a puzzled look (I guess that's an indication of how little we stress grade here) . We just have the kids say the grade they'd be in if they were at ps, it's just easier than saying... he's in a program for ages 7-9 yo, he's in the first semester of 2nd grade math even though he's in the second semester of school, he's reading Level 3 books but doing Level 2/3 reading, etc. Most homeschooled dc are a mixture of grade levels, which is the better way to place dc than just age as ps must do. We read "Understood Betsy" and loved the part where she switches from a "city" school to a "country" school. Betsy is so bothered at first that she's 2 years ahead in reading, 3 years behind in math, 1 year behind in spelling, etc. (I may be off on the years here) but anyway, she doesn't know what "grade" to say she's in anymore. The truth is, back when I taught third grade ps, I had dc I met with to teach phonics on up to dc that were reading eighth grade material. Sorting dc by ages and placing all of them in one grade together is the least effective way to teach them, IMO. Homeschooling can take into account individual needs, and thus move dc forward from that point on. So, I'm glad your ds is not bothered by this, but I can understand your mother's heart hurting over it. Maybe just have him say the grade he'd be in in ps and let it go at that. I make it a point not to explain myself to people who are more than likely to try to pick apart homeschooling. I say as little about it as possible to them about what we are doing, not to be rude, but just to be brief, and that has worked well. If you can't say his grade level he'd be in in ps (because he's in a different class in church or for whatever personal reasons), you could just answer with something very general, like, "He's 10 years old, and in different levels for different subjects, so it's kind of hard to say one grade for him. He'd be in ____ in ps. How about your dc? How old are they? What are they doing in school this year? Oh, that sounds neat..., etc." Just taking the focus off us seems to be easier. Anyway, that's just been my experience.

In Christ,
Julie