teaching responsible and safe online research to older kids

[jenn in nc]

I'm wondering how you teach your older students how to research responsibly online. We've done the research questions from the guides (CTC, Preparing, RTR) with Wikipedia and mostly found what we needed. I am always in the room to provide guidance and accountability for my kids. It works well for the younger and middle kids.

But what about the kids who are approaching college age? I'm assuming they need to branch out beyond Wikipedia at some point. How do you guys handle this?

Julie I saw that you mentioned in this post (viewtopic.php?f=6&t=15726&p=110485&hili ... ia#p110485) that your oldest is now very adept at online research. How did you get there?

Any thoughts, anyone?

[Samuel'sMommy]

I have no answers, but I have been wondering this as well. My son is getting to the age where he wants to go online for himself and so far I haven't let him. Hopefully some of you more experienced moms will have some great ideas!

[momxnine]

We have huge issues in our house just with our boys being online all the time with their dumb phones. No, we didn't *let* them get phones, but when one of them turned 18, well.... Let's just say we *do* have some issues around here. BUT....one of the things we have done and it's very helpful is that we've subscribed to Covenant Eyes. You can install it on all computers and all phones and you get a notice of every site they go to. It works really well, sometimes it's a little hard to understand, but I can usually figure it out because I basically know where my boys are going when they're online. They don't do anything bad because they know we'll get notice of it if they do.

It's worked really well for us. We ALL have it installed on our computers, even my adult daughters, myself & my husband. It keeps us all accountable. Even my daughter-in-law uses it when she's at our house because she has had some problems with looking at things online and she likes having the accountability. Anyway, there are other companies too I'm sure, but the main thing is to get some kind of accountability filter on your computer.

[Jennymommy]

Definitely look into software such as "Safe Eyes". There are several options for phone, tablet and pc. Beyond teaching them to not open links or ads they don't know the source of, the software helps cut down on the unavoidable pop-ups and invitations to debauchery. We talk about James 4:7 and how our best protection is having a plan of submission to God and His wisdom, resisting temptation by proactively shutting down the source (close the site, change the channel, delete unknown text or message, walk away, turn it off, etc.), then get mom or dad to help eliminate or talk about the "yuck". Focus on the Family has good helps as well.

[jenn in nc]

Those are good ideas, and I'll check into both of them. Thank you!

We have some experience with Covenant Eyes and found it to be a little confusing because it seems to report some activity but not all.... seemed to me it was too easy to circumvent?? I'll have to look at it again though. I like that option over Safe Eyes only for the fact that it installs on Android phones as well as PC's. But Safe Eyes may do a better job on PC's, which is the main thing I'm interested in at the moment. I'll have to check them both out.

One thing I'm repeatedly finding with my oldest son is that news websites are pretty raunchy these days. Any kind of research seems to inevitably lead to one of the big news sites, and the sidebar links for other stories are a major problem. Covenant Eyes can report that my son went to a certain news website, but that doesn't really help if I know he is on the site to do research for a paper he is writing but still runs into a lot of objectionable material. Youtube is a problem as well, there are legitimate reasons to be there sometimes but also a whole lot of stuff I don't want displaying as an option on our screens. I would really love to find something that would clean the website up, perhaps display only the article itself and none of the peripheral material. Does anything like that exist?

[LynnH]

Adblocker plus will block ads that are on the side. It's a free download. Also make sure safe search is turned on on youtube. That helps as well.

[Jennymommy]

Answers in Genesis has lots of great material for research as well

[my3sons]

This is such a good question! It is not one with an easy answer. One simple thing that we do is only have computers on the main floor in 2 open areas with open doors. Computers stay at their 'stations,' and someone must be in the room with the person working on the computer, or with the door open seeing in while they are on the computer. My ds had me restrict his Internet access on his IPod, as he saw some bad stuff on it. He does not have a phone yet, and he is not driving yet. I imagine these will be difficult areas to navigate. Outside of school, the boys only get 30-45 minutes of computer time, and it is only with games we have loaded on the computer, as opposed to Internet linked games.

We don't have an xbox, etc. They have to set the timer for 30-45 minutes, and when it goes off, they have to get off the computer. If they are researching something on the computer, someone else has to be within eyesight or in the room, and the time is kept short. When my oldest son babysits, we plan the time out for him (i.e. supper/cleanup, DVD all 3 boys watch together, no computer while we are gone, etc.). We do have restrictions with passwords on our AppleTV and iTunes accounts, as well as on our computers. However, I find that we just need to keep talking about it. We have not had perfection with these rules. We took away our son's IPod for a month. He was thankful actually, as it had become a temptation. He doesn't want Internet access back on it. I imagine when he is driving, we will buy a cheap phone without Internet access. My dh is 100% supportive of this and would do away with computer games and usage almost altogether. I can imagine that if I had a dh who played Xbox, or who was on the computer a lot, that this would be really tough! I know there are more computer programs out there to block things. For now, I think what we are doing is working, and we are trying to go from the standpoint of 'the temptation is there and you could get to it if you really tried, but it is a sin you must choose to master, and we will help you.' We also determine what computer games are bought/played, what tv shows (very few) get watched, what movies get watched, etc. We look at the lyrics of songs before agreeing to put them on our IPod. Only songs we have purchased may be put on Wyatt's iPod.

We have had in-depth talks with our oldest ds about temptations. We continue to talk about this, and I ask him often how he is doing with being tempted. I remember a mom of 10 dc telling me the best defense she had against lust/sexual temptations, etc. with her sons was to tell them that this was man's greatest temptation, that she knew there might be a time they would give in to it, so she would be asking them each often if they were struggling with it, if they were looking at things they shouldn't be, etc., and that she wanted them to be honest about it, so they could fix it together. The study that we did in RTR really helped, but we still talk often about how the one of the greatest temptations for young men/men to overcome can be lust/women. That sex is an incredible gift for a husband and a wife, that it is totally natural to have feelings like that as a young man, but that those feelings/actions/thoughts are meant to be enjoyed in marriage with his wife someday. This probably is way more than you were wanting for an answer here! We have to do all we can to help our kids on this battlefront - many souls are lost this way. I just hope something here can help. Thanks for asking!

In Christ,
Julie

[jenn in nc]

Lynn, we do have Adblock Plus installed and it helps so much! It is great (almost perfect, really) at filtering/blocking the ads. But I'm needing help figuring out how to block the sidebar links to other news stories that are very distracting and un-helpful to my house full of teen boys, because Adblock doesn't block those kinds of links.

Jennymommy, I'll look into that, thanks! I'm always looking for good new places for my kids to information.

Julie, as always, thank you for your thoughtful help. I'm still thinking things through. We already do some of the things you have mentioned, like computers or any internet-connected devices must be in the family room with others present. One of the things you said has really got me thinking:

For now, I think what we are doing is working, and we are trying to go from the standpoint of 'the temptation is there and you could get to it if you really tried, but it is a sin you must choose to master, and we will help you.'

I like this approach because I think it mirrors real life a little better than totally blocking everything. The idea of teaching them to handle the temptation in the relative safety of the home environment before they are out there on their own seems wise. And yet there is a certain amount of limitation to access that I think is wise even for my husband and myself. Oh, so difficult. I'm thinking and praying... and I so much appreciate the time you took to help me on the way; you've given me much to mull over.

I wonder if any of the upcoming high school guides will suggest any resources to help teens through these tough issues?

[Jennymommy]

Yes to what Julie said. The temptations are the same as ever, but much more in your face now with all our electronic devices. My teen ds has asked for help, and that is where scripture comes in. We chose James 4:7, but there are many that would help with claiming the Word and taking personal responsibility. I can no longer make the choices for him, and this is the world he lives in. Blessings to all of us mammas as we help our kids through the maze, and prayers for daddies too as they lead and also for their strength in the world.

[Nealewill]

My husband installed Fortinet on our computer. My kids are still young but having Fortinet does have a dual purpose. My kids are still young and my son has not yet hit puberty. We put Fortinet on the computer because it helps to block sites my kids may accidentally go to so that they don't accidentally go to an inappropriate site. The other purpose in our house for Fortinet is to protect our PC from viruses.

But I definitely agree with Julie and several of you about helping kids to master temptations rather than just removing them. Once kids are out on their own, they will be bombarded with temptations of every kind. It is our job as their parents to train them up so that when they leave the house, they are ready to be on their own and prepared to deal with the temptations.

And even with having Fortinet installed on our computer, we still require the kids to be in open areas with their PCs and we know all the passwords on their devices. Because my kids like to listen to music on their "phones" (old cell phones that have been passed on to them to function as an iPod - they don't have phone service), they can also download games. My kids have to ask up first before they download any games or look at any videos. And if they are found to not be following the rules, they lose their devices for a week.