Post
by Annette » Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:52 pm
With all due respect to those who insist that spanking is the only effective discipline for defiant children, I have most definitely found that NOT to be true with my Asperger's son who has sensory issues. With "normal" kids, I would say yes that's probably the best consequence. However, spanking is only one tool in a parent's disciplinary toolbox. But when a kid has hyper sensitivity to pain or has trouble making connections of cause and effect or is slow to process that A is happening because of B,and has great difficulty retrieving that information the next time he's about to engage in out of control behavior, then often a spanking only stirs the kid up worse. Sometimes, I find it almost humorous to read advice from parents whose kids don't have actual psychiatric/mental health disorders. They just can't seem to wrap their head around the concept that a child could possibly have something biological going on in their brain that is a HUGE contributing factor to their outbursts. Yet in all honesty, if I hadn't had a kid myself who lives with the challenge of Asperger's,ADHD, with all the sensory, emotional,and social struggles that come with those conditions, I'd probably think the same way. Sorry, but parents with "regular" kids who are just strong willed have no clue about this stuff. Just as I have no clue of the struggles that an addict faces.
Sue, there will always be people to tell you you're doing it wrong. If you go natural and holistic with alternative therapies,there will be people who accuse you of being New Age. If you go with medications, sometimes the people who are into all the natural stuff will try to convince you that you're "poisoning" your kid. (My SIL tried to pull THAT doodoo on me). And just cuz someone is a Christian, doesn't mean they won't try to push their method on you and have a tizzy if you don't follow their sage advice. What helped me get through some of that is realizing that most people do want to be helpful and have hearts that are in the right place, but also realizing that many many people don't know as much as they think they do.
You DO have what it takes to effectively parent your son, not because of who you are but because of who God is. He chose you to be your son's mom,and God doesn't make mistakes. If God has directed you to homeschool, then yes, you can do it,even though you might FEEL like you can't. Your emotions are just a part of you, not the end all and be all of who you are. Feelings can change. Of course, you need to do what God directs you to do for your son, but that very well may be continuing to homeschool cuz I hate to break it to you,but generally speaking kids with those particular challenges do tend to do better in homeschool settings than within a ps classroom. (Sorry, but that piece of advice came from our probably non Christian pediatrician. He was 100 % behind our homeschooling Michael for elementary school.)
Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I have VERY strong feelings about this topic. (Like I have to point out the obvious! LOL)
HUGS!
Annette
Annette
Wife to Jim (20 years)
Mom to Michael(17), Cory (14) in public school
Kelley (11), Haley(9) CTC
James (4) LHTH