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as far as the baby, get a sling!! it's the best way to be holding the baby and have your hands free!

DH does all the grocery shopping. Every Thursday he takes one of the girls and that's their special time. We have to put it on the calendar for MONTHS in advance because they look forward to it so much. They rotate, and soon the baby will start her turns too! During that time I play games or finish up school or do housework... it's amazing how different the dynamic is when one is away.

How old is the one child that you are most working around? Am I right that's he's 3? If so, have you tried having regular intervals of activity throughout the day? Like, INTENSE activity? Get a little trampoline, have him run up and down stairs, run over pillows.... If you plan this for about 15 minutes every 2 hours or so it might help. And YOU don't necessarily have to do it with him, just make sure he does it. We do relay/obstacle races any time moods seem off. Also, 3yos LOVE helping, but a lot of time they don't want you to help them do it.... and they are quite capable.

I've gotten DD1 (almost 7) to the point that about 50% of her school work is independent... so I'll set her something to do and do SOMETHING during that time. Clean, cook, laundry, bath, work with another child, whatever. When she's done, I quit that task.

Also, we have a chore chart too and all of us do chores at the same time. After they finish their chore they come to me to check it off and go to the next one. If someone is finished with all their chores they help the youngest person not done do their chores. The past two weeks I've actually done MY job well and there's very little they are having to do during chore time, which helps a LOT.... it makes them more likely to do whatever else I ask of them during the day. But, I've been really convicted the past few weeks to look at housework as my job instead of parenting.... Dh goes to a job and I expect him to help with the kids when he's home, so having my job be parenting isn't really fair to him. And it's really amazing.... the better I've been about housework, the more well-behaved the kids have been. I think my motion helps calm them.....

You are getting some wonderful advice! Just a quick note about the 3yo at bedtime...when my dd (now 7) was 2 she could (and would) come out of her room at night, over baby gates - yes we had 2 on top of each other - get into the medicine cabinet, pantry, refrigerator, undo deadbolt on front door, you name it! At my wits end, our pediatrician suggested it would be good to lock her door at night in order to keep her safe. At that, we turned the doorknob around and we have done it for each child since...until they grow out of the urge to escape. We ended up having 3 little Houdinis. Just thought I'd throw that out there!

If you have extra money, you could slowly start building a pantry. Buy a couple of extras of each non-perishable staple that you use (for example--mushroom soup). Keep two extra mushroom soups on your pantry shelf. That will give you a little breathing room if your husband can't make it to the store when planned. Just remember to replace the spares then next time shopping day rolls around. I am slowly starting to do this and it is helping.

Hi Tamara!
I have not been on the boards much lately, but after reading some of your posts, I wanted to write... as we too have been adjusting to a new little one.
I want you to know that I have been praying for you! What a special yet challenging time the first few months after a new little one arrives are! So, I just want to share a few things that have helped me through these last 4 1/2 months & hopefully you will find something helpful...

-The biggest thing for me lately has been to realize that my children will only be these ages right now- for this moment in our lives. The time goes so very quickly & before I know it, they will be off & gone & my role as a mother as it is now- will be over. Therefore, I have been learning to work very hard to treasure each child, each moment (&treasuring my husband too )...this includes cranky/crazy/loud toddlers & late night feedings & cleaning up messes & getting food on the table... Each child is a gift from God & every moment is an opportunity to show them God's love & to work on issues going on in their little hearts.

-Some pracitcal things that have helped...
-Whenever I nurse when the rest of the children are in bed- I read my Bible... that time is spent in the Word... I have to be sitting down, so I use that time as time with God
-Whenever I nurse when the rest of the children are awake- I do schoolwork with my oldest girls (learning to read) or read books to them all
-I am also a fan of the BabyWise books- they have worked for all of my children... all of my children have been sleeping through the night- in their own bed by nine weeks. I've read The Baby Whisperer too (which I think is where you got E.A.S.Y. from) & it is very similar, but a bit less strict- I like to do a combination of the two. So, picking a BabyWise book up at the library may be worth it
-I am a fan of routines. We do thing in the same order every day. We try very hard to be up at the same time each morning (baby included). This has provided so much stability for our family & has really made it easier on all of us- everyone knows what to expect & what is expected of them & we are able to get everything done we need to in a day
-I have started planning meals for a month at a time & that has worked wonders- we have a simple, yummy schedule for lunches & for supper I only make new meals on Mondays, Wednesdays (always pizza night), Thursdays & Saturdays- the other days are leftover days, except for Sundays when we make a crock-pot meal the night before or order in.
-I keep a master grocery list on the fridge of all of the items we need (they are listed according to where you find them in the store)- when I know we will be needing an item- I highlight it- then it is super easy to take to the store & make sure we have everything we need
-I have a very hard time taking all five children to the store by myself (unless we can happen to get there when noone else is using the kind of cart we need )-so my husband or I go while the kids are in bed, or my husband will take one or a few of the kids on a "date" to the grocery store- but kids 3 and under have to be in the cart
-I absolutely must have a shower- in the morning- otherwise I am a mess of leaking breast milk, spit-up, etc. So, I wake up ten minutes before I get baby up- it's a short amount of time & makes me feel & smell better
-I have a simple chore chart- mostly for myself-where I have designated days for specific chores- ex.- Mondays I sweep & vacuum- Tuesdays I do laundry & the bills, Wednesdays I clean bathrooms, etc... each of these chores has different parts that my three oldest girls help with & they help with a lot of other daily chores too (putting dishes/clothes away)- our house is not always perfect, but it looks neat & doesn't drive me crazy
- I have also found the book -Don't Make Me Count to Three- by Ginger Plowman, extrememly helpful & practical in dealing with any heart issues
-I also don't use the computer as much as I use to- & I am O.K. with that- now I have more time for playing, reading, laughing, etc.

Sorry that list got a bit long... but hopefully at least a little helpful- in 2 months, your little one will be as big as my little one- thank God for the sweet coos & adoring eyes, & for the other three God has blessed you with!

-Pray, pray, pray... God is so good (even in & especially in difficult times)!
-I think of these verses often... "Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thes. 5:16-18
Praying for you today!
Jessica

I dont' have time to reply to everyone, but just wanted to say to Jessica...

You just described exactly what I want to do! THAT is what I need...THAT is how I need to set things up. Your words are so very encouraging! Now, if I could get 5 minutes to myself, I could take some notes and sort through thoughts and write things down! I especially need to relax in bed at night while I nurse and spend that time studying my Bible or my devotional.

And I do have a sling...I have an ERGO carrier actually. It's great, but I ended up having to get an epidural this time, and my back has been hurting badly where I got it and all across my back there...which is right where the waist thing goes around for the carrier! I can wear it comfortably for short times, and he enjoys it for short times. Usually long enough to get the dishes done or part of a load of laundry. It helps for sure! If I could wear it all day, we'd be set! (If he could stand it all day!)

I'm going to think through some routines and ways of easing into school and then maybe pop in to run it by you ladies for your thoughts. You've been so helpful!

Hi Tamara! I love your name as someone near to my heart has the same
A word about slings-from what you described you have a carrier that is a "front-pack"-that has a waist strap and the baby in front with legs hanging down? Perhaps you might try a sling that cradles the baby in a "pocket" and goes around your body like a beauty pageant sash? I also had epidurals for two of my babies and found this type more comfortable-one of my daughters spent lots of time in it, she was a nonstop-nurser and colicky But my sling allowed me to keep her content and really have my hands free, and for me it was not as hard on my back as the front-packs. I used the New Native Baby Carrier, but there are many brands and styles.

Oh, Tamara, I am so glad you found my words encouraging... I was praying they would be!

I thought of a couple extra things since I posted yesterday that have helped these last few months...
- At our house- everyone has "special time" with Mommy one day each week- they now call it their "special day"- but really all I do is spend a half an hour just with one of my children- we go through a little devotional & do something fun like have a tea party, paint nails, play a game, etc. (the others have individual play time in their rooms or are napping). I would love to spend more alone time with each of them, but this is what works for us right now & we all enjoy it.
- We also have Quiet Time every day- the three youngest nap & my oldest girls listen to Bible stories & songs on tape & then are allowed to play quietly on their beds with a small box of books & quiet toys (any noise & they have to take a nap too- it's amazing how quiet they are most days ). This allows time for me to get things done that are hard to do with little ones around (return phone calls, housework, time with God...) & when I'm tired- I can rest.

I am continuing to pray for you- what a mighty God we serve- He will help you find the strength to make each tiny step forward!
Jessica