Finding Quiet

[skwmackey]

Hi there!
I am new to the board but not new to HOD, and I have a question. First, here's a little background info. My husband and I have four boys ages 11, almost 6, 4, and 2 1/2. We have homeschooled from the beginning. We used BLHFHG for our oldest a few years ago, tried our own thing for a couple of years, and then came back to HOD this past year. We are almost finished with our school year (3 more days!) and have been using LHFHG for our almost 6 year old and CtC for our 11 year old. We are planning on using LHTH for our 4 and by then 3 year old, BLHFHG for our then 6 year old, and RtR for our 11 year old.

Anyway, our oldest son has struggled all year with wanting absolute quiet when doing his school work. Overall, he is a wonderful kid, but when he can't focus (due to noise), he gets very upset with everyone and can't seem to work through it. He completely shuts down not wanting to finish the task at hand even if it is something we are doing together, like math instruction. I was wondering if anyone else has ever experienced this and how did you handle it? It is not feasible to expect our other 3 to be absolutely quiet during his entire school day. I do try to limit the noise level like no musical instruments being played during that time or loud toys. My husband says that he is the same way when studying something or working - he wants no noise. Any ideas or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

[8arrows]

Oh no, he would not do well at our house!!!! Seriously though, would it work to put a desk in his room or another quiet place in the house, at least for individual work? I do sympathize. I like quiet when I work; it just isn't an option anymore (smile). My husband can actually struggle if he comes home in the middle of the day wanting to talk to me for a little while--activity, activity, activity!!!

[ForHisGlory]

My oldest was that way quite often, and I found that gray sound, such as KLOVE (Christian music station) helped tremendously! Ethan liked music on constantly when we "did school!" That would be my suggestion. But I know all children are different. I have also heard that classical music playing in the background can be very soothing and relaxing. HTH!!

[shera]

When he is doing independent work headphones might help. My dh wears them when he needs to concentrate.

Sarah

[birchbark]

Yes, hearing-protection ear muffs or headphones with quiet instrumental music.

[skwmackey]

Thanks for the ideas. I think they will really help while doing his independent work, especially if he's in a separate room. Now, I just need to figure out something during the time we are working together when he needs to hear me and not wear headphones, etc. Thanks again!

Stephanie

[LynnH]

I don't know if this would work at all for you or not since I only have 2 children, but my ds likes quiet also. My high school age dd is ADD and can be very, very talkative and just goofy. When I need to teach my ds, she puts headphones on and does her work. This seems to keep her calm and quiet and allows him to focus. With you little ones I am not sure what you could do unless you could schedule a quieter activity for them to do during certain teaching blocks. Or storybooks on CD that they could listen to with headphones on.

[MomtoJGJE]

Could you go over all his independent work and semi independent work, send him off to his room with earphones to do the work, and while he's in there do school stuff with the others? Then after they are done send them off somewhere else to play and do the rest of his school with him?

[netpea]

My oldest is like that. We send him to his room with his independent work and he shuts his door and we shut the door to the room we are working in. If that's not possible we let him use his ipod with headphones on.

[my3sons]

I'm like this. I used to walk to a nearby church to study in quiet in college. My dh is the opposite - he could study in college with the radio and the t.v. blaring at the same time. Like 8arrows, I too have had to adjust to noise - the Lord has given me 3 precious sons - and they are loud.

I would say that for your lesson time with him, I'd have the other dc in a different place in the house doing something fairly quietly if possible. For example, when I do my teaching block time in the main floor living room with my oldest, my middle and youngest sons are playing upstairs in the playroom.

My oldest ds likes it quiet too. It has been helpful for me to put all of my teaching time into just 2 blocks of time (this is including checking work and fixing it). Having ds first work with me in a teacher directed block of time while the littles play upstairs has helped get him going right away in the day. Then, he can work independently on the next part. After that, I have him play with the toddler, just to work off some steam, give me teaching time with my middle ds, and foster a close relationship between oldest and youngest sons. After that, we have one more teaching block time, he has one more independent time, and then he's done. This has worked much better for him than the way I used to do it, which was a little teaching... a little independent work... a little teaching... a little independent work... teaching... independent... correcting mistakes... independent...teaching... independent... correcting mistakes... independent... teaching - well, you get the point. I was giving him a very disjointed day this way. By limiting the number of times I interacted with him (and really also my interruptions for corrections) all to just 2 blocks of time, he has a smooth day and knows what to expect. Here is a link to the schedule I used last year with teaching blocks, in case that helps (it's at the very end, my3sons)...
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2093&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&start=120

Your ds could certainly do his independent work time in his room or somewhere quiet - provided he stays on task and gets the work done. You can get cheap little rubber earplugs too (welders wear them) for around $5. They drowned out a lot of noise (if someone is snoring, I put them in and can hardly hear the snoring anymore - they really do work). HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[skwmackey]

Thank you all for more ideas. We have only one more day for this year, but these ideas will give me helpful tools to start off our next school year. I like the idea of possibly doing his scheduled time with me in just two blocks. He might prefer this instead of breaking it up. I'm in the middle of trying to plan a good schedule for the upcoming year, so I will definitely look into that. I also think my young ones would enjoy listening to books on tape/cd with headphones. That's another thing we have not tried. Thanks so much! Love all the ideas!

[Carrie]

I am late to this thread, and so many wonderful tips have already been shared already! I'll just pop-in to say that my oldest son is like this, and I am as well! I have learned to work with much noise around now, but I still prefer the quiet when I really need to get things done.

One thing that we did with my oldest son from the time he was in 5th grade on up was to have him work for the quiet subjects in my bedroom. He could spread his things out on my bed. We shut the door, and it was very quiet because the little ones knew not to be "playing" or "romping" in my bedroom. Plus, it was less distracting to my son than being in his own room, as all of his items that distract him like Legos, books, music, etc. weren't available. I had him set a timer originally, and check-in with me between subjects, handing in his work as he went. That way I could keep track of how he was progressing.

As a highschool student, he now prefers to work in his own room at his own desk or on the floor, or in his own bed. But, it worked for many years! My next son in line isn't like this, so he's always worked downstairs with the rest of us, just working in a different room.

Anyway, just another thought that worked well for us.

Blessings,
Carrie

[skwmackey]

Thanks, Carrie, for another great idea! I will definitely think on this one as well when planning for the upcoming year. I like the timer idea. I think that would help him in time management as well. Thanks again!