help needed

[Mercy]

So, here are all of the dynamics...

I am doing LHTH, LHFHG, and PHFHG this year. We began in Feb. and normally school year round. I have noticed that we tend to get to 3 weeks ea month, for all sorts of various reasons. We are in week 12 this week.

I will start with the easy one...LHTH. We are soooo enjoying this!!! It is a perfect way to connect with my "all boy" boy. I kind of want to not stop, even during this summer time.

LHFHG- So my 6yo daughter is very schooly. She loved workbooks, but has really warmed up to her LHFHG. It has blessed our home in so many ways. She loves the Burgess books, looks forward to reading her bible and is even excited about the rhymes now. Yay!! Ok, so...I bought the rod and staff books for her...I am not sure why now. She never complains about them, since they are her beloved workbooks. Lol! But, they are really unnessasary. She is writting all over the place and has asked for spelling. We are almost done with the first r&s wkbook, so I was thinking of just replacing that box w the la in beyond. She is close to beginning the ers. Also, she has been using horizons math and is almost done with her workbook. I would really like to try out singapore. I love the hands on. I think she would be in book 2 of 2A...so I would be using the beyond manual dor that. Here is the real question...if I am working through the summer (which is a question in itself. I dont want to, there are too many kids knocking in this new neighborhood, etc...), but if we were to continue, should we just keep reading the burgess books? We would be starting Danny Medowmouse Monday, so I need to decide what I am doing here....

Ok, now my PHFHG boy....
This is the one that is really hard for me!!! Can I just be real with my praying, Christian, homeschooling mommy friends on this board?? I can feel this spirit of bitterness creeping in my heart with my sweet son. I know how terrible it is. I am realky struggling here. Let me explain a lil better. He is an 11yo boy, who has such an amaingly tender heart towards the Lord!! Praise God!!! He is playing the bongos in church, is always willing to help with his younger bro and sis, trustworthy...seems much older than he is. I am truly proud of him! So, here is the problem...he doesnt apply himself in school. He takes a LOT of my energy, since I have to keep on his toes all day long. It doesnt matter if we start at 7am or 11am...he will not be done until 3 or 4 o'clock. It drags my day down. He is able to do almost all of the boxes in preparing on his own, but he needs me to check on him constantly. I go back and forth thinking, maybe if he was more challenged, he would rise to the occassion, then I think maybe we should have done biggwr with him.....I honestly dont feel like I have the emotional energy to handle this properly. I feel bad since he tends to spend most of the day sitting at the table working, then the neighbor kids want to play and I have given in...I just feel bad for him. I have tried rewards and consequences. I cant seem to be faithful with the timer.what worked best was when I challenged him - if he got half day done before noon, he could be done for the day. It seems like if we go plast noon, he wont get done until 4or5 even... He could handle 3/4 of a day. 1/2 day doesnt seem like enough, but a full day just drags on and on for him and he gets diacouraged maybe.

What about summer? I was thinking of taking a few weeks off, then doing light school...what do you think?

Any thoughts on all of these things I am working through?

Thank you all so much in advance for whatever advice you can offer.

[raceNzanesmom]

I can't help much, but I do want to say don't stop the Burgess books. We have loved them! We liked Danny Meadowmouse, but LOVED Grandfather Frog after it. That frog gets himself in a world of trouble. Beautiful life lesson. We're finishing Chatterer now and love it too.

[spidermansmum]

Hi,willing to pray with you.
LHTH and LHFHG sound like they are going well .Personally taking a break over the summer would probably be better than scheduling school and then abandoning your plans when the friends start calling.,or half -schedule allowing for the e xpected visitors
Your big boy [hugs] He sounds like such a great kid .I guess in my mind-if otherwise you have an obedient ,helpful kid -then Im wondering what about school work is he finding hard.You see some days,like today I can do an awesome job -Ive done the errands I needed to do,vacumed all the bedrooms,bathed the children ,hung out the laundry ,prepared my DH's favourite dinner,washed the pans , got the boys in PJ's before DH got home from work.Now - I am capable of doing all those things.Yet it takes superhuman effort.Suppose my husband was to assume that as I was capable of all that ,I should do all of that every day.There are days I burn the rice,the kids are not bathed and the chores I was hoping to do-just escaped me all day.
I really hope that didnt come accross to harsh -I didnt intend it to.

[totallyblessed]

Just a note of encouragement- when my daughter was between 11 and 12 she completly quit applying herself to her school work and no matter what we tried she was not changing. It was like she went through a "phase" and it didn't matter what we did she had to come out of it herself. Even going through this we still did not give in or lower our expectations, we trudged along. Over the summer break she came out of it and was ready for the next year in the fall and has done great ever since. Maybe your son is going through a "phase" too and perhaps taking a break for a little while might be what you both need.

[Mercy]

Thank you so much Angie and spidermansmum and totallyblessed for your replies!

Oh yeah, I wasnt thinking of stopping the burgess books. I am just trying to figure out dynamics. I was kind of thinking of doing half days w LHFHG. So far it has been soooo nice to be on the same page with everything. No flipping around at all. I know that when I start working in the beyond guide, it wont be as simple. I guess what my question was, should I continue going through the manual as is, or since I am messing things up anyway...should we keep reading the burgess books over the summer, without doing the full program? Maybe I am coplicating things? Really,vLHFHG and LHTH are both such a breeze for us, I dont mind continuing on with those at all...

Its my big boy. Thank you so much for offering to pray! I am really discouraged and I know he knows...thats the worst part! I totally understand what you meant when you compared the days...the biggest problem here I think sometimes, is that he is waayyy too much like me! Lol! It is hard to deal rationally when you see personality traits about yourself that you are bothered by, kwim? He daydreams a lil too much, just moves slowly and is distracted by anything and everyrhing.

Totallyblessed, I appreciate your example. Its nice to know others have been there. I often wonder if he had more 'break time' if he would be refreshed and motivated. I will take this to heart as I pray for a solution here.

Thanks again for your thoughts. I really do apprexiate it!! I think I am a lil too close to see clearly, so any thoughts should help. And, I will always take prayer.

In Gods love and grace,
Mercy

[tnahid]

Mercy, I really want to encourage you here in this. If your son is obedient and courteous, helpful to his brothers and sister at his age, then you are BLESSED beyond belief. Truly! My oldest who is 10 does not exhibit those character traits most of the time (but I am believing and speaking that He will in Jesus Name!) To have a compliant, loving child to me is by FAR better than having one who is disruptive, disobedient, and hard to get along with. Trust me.

Just some ideas and thoughts for you:

1) Have you asked him what parts of school that he really likes? What about the parts that he dislikes? I would sit down and just ask him.
2) Also, would it be possible for you to do the HOD lessons every other day, and just keep consistent with math, LA and Reading daily? That might help him some too.
3) If he is a daydreamer, have you tried any natural supplements to help with his focus and concentration? There are many out there that are good. If you want specific info, just pm me on that.
4) What type of learner is he? Is he more hands on, does he like workbooks, does he like listening? Maybe you could break up the day a bit more for him, like he could do his math and independent stuff in the morning on his own and then do his history/science other stuff after lunch for an hour or so? Give him a specific time to be finished each day. Just some ideas I am brainstorming for you.
5) What are his interests? Maybe take a break for a few weeks and let him "unschool" and explore areas of interest on his own to spur him on. Maybe he is experiencing burnout.

Again, just receive the blessing of a son who is showing forth the fruit of the Spirit in the way he treats others around him. Take comfort and joy in knowing that you are molding his character, which will take him much further in life than "grades" or academics will. Yes, academics are important and have their place, but they are secondary. It sounds like your son is a joy to be around, and for that, be grateful, truly. I believe the academics will all work out. What a blessing that your son loves God and is sensitive to His Spirit. Rejoice! I pray that my son will be this way. My 2nd born son is like this as well, such a blessing, but my first born is resistant and obstinate over many things. It is a daily struggle. Yet, I love him and believe God's plan for his life will prevail! I speak with faith over him and will trust in God's Word to speak it over him continually.

Be blessed! Your son will come around on his academics. Unless he is being disrespectful or disobedient about it, then let go some and let him lead a little more of his academic learning. It is NOT worth being frustrated over. Bless you sister!

[my3luvs]

your son=my soon to be 10 y/o daughter which is why this program is going to HELP me...at least I hope. She is totally dependent on me for help....could be b/c of self confidence issues which we are working on. She is a "perfect paula" and feels she can't move on..on her own until she receives acceptance from an adult. I am trying really hard to be patient with her right now. We will start school officially in July. We school for 4 weeks then take a week off [excludes math science and free reading, these are done regardless]. This schedule allows us a lot of flexibility and leaves Fridays open for make ups and to schedule extras. The girls get 6 weeks off in the summer [require light math and reading].

[my3luvs]

Mercy, I really want to encourage you here in this. If your son is obedient and courteous, helpful to his brothers and sister at his age, then you are BLESSED beyond belief. Truly! My oldest who is 10 does not exhibit those character traits most of the time (but I am believing and speaking that He will in Jesus Name!) To have a compliant, loving child to me is by FAR better than having one who is disruptive, disobedient, and hard to get along with. Trust me.

Just some ideas and thoughts for you:

1) Have you asked him what parts of school that he really likes? What about the parts that he dislikes? I would sit down and just ask him.
2) Also, would it be possible for you to do the HOD lessons every other day, and just keep consistent with math, LA and Reading daily? That might help him some too.
3) If he is a daydreamer, have you tried any natural supplements to help with his focus and concentration? There are many out there that are good. If you want specific info, just pm me on that.
4) What type of learner is he? Is he more hands on, does he like workbooks, does he like listening? Maybe you could break up the day a bit more for him, like he could do his math and independent stuff in the morning on his own and then do his history/science other stuff after lunch for an hour or so? Give him a specific time to be finished each day. Just some ideas I am brainstorming for you.
5) What are his interests? Maybe take a break for a few weeks and let him "unschool" and explore areas of interest on his own to spur him on. Maybe he is experiencing burnout.

Again, just receive the blessing of a son who is showing forth the fruit of the Spirit in the way he treats others around him. Take comfort and joy in knowing that you are molding his character, which will take him much further in life than "grades" or academics will. Yes, academics are important and have their place, but they are secondary. It sounds like your son is a joy to be around, and for that, be grateful, truly. I believe the academics will all work out. What a blessing that your son loves God and is sensitive to His Spirit. Rejoice! I pray that my son will be this way. My 2nd born son is like this as well, such a blessing, but my first born is resistant and obstinate over many things. It is a daily struggle. Yet, I love him and believe God's plan for his life will prevail! I speak with faith over him and will trust in God's Word to speak it over him continually.

Be blessed! Your son will come around on his academics. Unless he is being disrespectful or disobedient about it, then let go some and let him lead a little more of his academic learning. It is NOT worth being frustrated over. Bless you sister!

I agree! all of it! Perfectly stated!

[Mercy]

Tina,

Thank you so much for your response!! I really appreciate the reminder to focus on what is most important. I love the ideas as well. I will keep these in mind as I think in how to handle this situation best.

I often have your family on my mind, so I lift you up in prayer. Just thought I would let you know.

My3luvs, My son has really grown so much since beginning HOD in Feb. I am positive your daughter will also see fruits of maturity. Something about these guides really leads to a successful feeling in their lives. Maybe it will be as Totallyblessed said...just a phase. I do pray, for all of us in this situation...that it doesnt linger too long.

Thank you again for all of the replies. God is so faithful. Praying today for my new HOD family.

Mercy

[my3sons]

HI Mercy! Thanks for sharing about each of your dc here! Hooray for LHTH ds - doing great! For your LHFHG dd, could you please share what unit you are on with the core things (i.e. history, science, etc.)? Also, are you able to get to the follow-ups to those things (i.e. experiments, history activities, etc.)? It sounds like your dd is flourishing with her LA, and is ready for Beyond's spelling List 1 along with Days 1-4 LA plans for those spelling words. It will be important to do the follow-up activities that are planned in the guide for the spelling words, as they prepare dc for dictation very well (just a heads-up as it's different from the traditional pretest/posttest we grew up doing with spelling words). For read alouds, I'd definitely do the Thorton Burgess books along with the follow-up oral comprehension questions, as this teaches dc beginning oral narration skills. I am a little confused about the Thorton Burgess books - are you on a different page on the daily plans with the Thorton Burgess books than you are with the history/science, etc.? If so, where are you on each? We could figure out something there together.

Okay, for ds in PHFHG. He sounds like a dear as far as his heart toward siblings goes. What a blessing - really, WHAT A BLESSING! But maybe in the work area, he is needing some training - we all have our things that aren't are things, right? (me included!!!) So, this is a general run-down of the times PHFHG should take...
Once we had done school for a month, this is the longest it took us to do PHFHG:
Left side of plans...
Reading about History: 15 minutes
Research/Geog./Timeline: 20 minutes
Independent History Box: 20-25 minutes
History Project box: 20 minutes
Storytime: 20 minutes
1 hour 40 minutes

Right side of plans...
Math: 20-30 minutes
DITHOR: 30 minutes (3 x a week); Creative Writing: 20-30 minutes (1 x a week)
Dictation: 5 minutes (3 x a week)
Grammar: 15 minutes
Bible Study: 15 minutes
Science: 20- 30 minutes
Poetry: 5 minutes
2 hours 10 minutes

I am wondering if I could get some more information here from you? Where is the day going long considering these time increments? I fully realize you may not know this (as busy moms, our days sometimes run together), so I am wondering if you could print this out, do a day of PHFHG, and jot down next to each of these things how long they took and any hiccups ds had? This would be such good information to have! I'd be sure to let the day ride like normal, so we have a pretty average day's info to go on here, and then could you please share what you found out here? I am thinking we could really do some good problem solving together then. I'll be checking this thread to see what you share, as I truly want to help you out here! I am fairly confident we can get to the bottom of this together here, and then we will put our heads together and come up with a plan of action!

In Christ,
Julie

[Mercy]

Julie,

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for taking time to help us!! It means so much to me. I really appreciate your opinion and so appreciate your creative solutions.

LHGHG - We have been doing everything just as it is written and have followed it to a 'tee!' We are in the middle of week 11 right now. We just finnished Peter Cottontail. She said she thought this one was even better than Reddy Fox. All the confusion is coming from the fact that I was pondering going 1/2 over the summer time and just working through the basics...math, phonics/ers, beginning spelling possibly...but the catch came with the storytime box. I was wondering if I would complicate things if we continued the storytime books through the summer. Once we start back in Aug, I would be flipping around to all different places for Math, LA, ERs and Storytime...kwim? I am rethinking the half day thing. I am just trying to figure out the best way to lighten our summer, without losing too much speed and messing up the routine too much. My daughter is a lil "type a" personality and likes things to be followed "correctly" otherwise she is bothered.

I am also begrudging the fact that our summer life is now imposed upon by all the fun around us in our new neighborhood. I abhor the thought of pulling down the shutters and feeling like we are "left out" of the joys of summertime and instead commited to a drudging lifestyle of "all work and no play". I know I am villianizing the situation, but I often already feel this way...without the children knocking and the sunshine.

Especially with my oldest son...since he does tend to linger. I went through a few days and tried to be dilligent about keeping track of his time. I saw how easy it was for him to sit on something with the excuse that he was waiting for me. I have worked hard to help keep him going now. I originally began working right away w him, then I noticed a huge dynamic released when he began on his own, he was more likely to be self driven vs mom driven, so I have been trying to get him up in time to begin his day before the business of the day begins. We are not an early rising family since Daddy is a late nighter and doesnt tend to be a morning person, so that is a bit of a disadvantage we have as well. Many times the kids are getting to bed at 10:30+, so it is hard to expect us to be on a roll before 8am. I am trying though! I did notice that I am going a bit longer with the oral review, so I am going to be more dilligent to use a timer for me. The other thing I deal with is my kids seem to always be starving. I have gotten more strict on snack and had to be tougher about if they are picking at breakfast (they are way tooo particular!), they are just going to have to be hungry until snack. These are some things I have been working through for ME to cope. Since we are on the topic of schedule - I have switched between oldest first and now youngest first...I also used to go upstairs and take time around 11:30 to make sure my 3yo was taking a nap, but I have put that off until later now. I did that to have one on one school with my middle daughter. My youngest seems to always try to get my attention when I try to give my full attention to my daughter...he is maturing little by little.

Really quick I wanted to jot down some of the times I have written down for how long certain things have taken him. For instance, unit 7 day 3 science with 5 written questions took him 40 min. The day before for the poem writing it took 2 hrs...dont remember all of the dynamics there...I see it took him 39 min for English that day. Only 7 min for science that day. He loves the poetry writing though! And he is writing beautifully too!! Consistantly it takes him 15 min for the history reading. I am just randomly picking from the days I have tried to be diligent to have him write out the times for the day, because I dont see how ea day things seem to be rolling along and then all of a sudden 11:30 turns into 2:30 and he still has several assignments left to do. I know the writing slows him down. He has grown SO much in his abilities this year!! He was such a perfectionist that he would take f o r e v e r just to write one sentence...his handwriting was beautiful though! Lol! Partly that may still be an issue, although not nearly as bad as it was. I am happy to report as well that he is FINALLY remembering to capitalize and punctuate properly!! That took a good solid month or so to really see fruit on. That is worth rejoicing about.

Anyway, tomorrow I will keep track a lil better and share my findings with you. I think that it is a combination of 3 things...the amount of writing sometimes discourages him, if he feels like its getting late in the day hopelessness begins to kick in and he gives up, he just truly cant stay on tasks without being distracted. (All you have to do is read how much I jump around in my posts to see where he gets that from...my poor son!)

I know I wrote a novel. Hopefully something in this gives you some insight into what all is happening...

With love and prayers to all of you sweet women of God who I have shared my heart and life to,
Mercy

[my3sons]

Thanks for sharing this, Mercy! That really does help so much. I will be interested in whatever else you have to share about your ds, but I had a few thoughts that may (or may not ) be helpful based on what you shared here. Half-speed LHFHG - I think not. Summer is calling m'dear, and I believe you should answer the call so you can start the school year after the summer refreshed. I do understand wanting to keep the reading going though, so I'd finish out whatever phonics you'd like to with your dd, and you can also do the ERS if she's ready, as this is easy to add at any time. You could have dd do Explode the Code workbooks, a page or two a day to keep up some light phonics and writing of short words. These are inexpensive, fun, independent, and easy to do. I wouldn't worry about math, spelling, or Storytime right now. I'd just stop all that and start it back up with your official school start, as this will help you be able to continue following the LHFHG guide's plans each day, rather than have you in all different parts of the guide and off each day - but you will know best here.

If your dc are starting their day very tired, is your family time with dh until 10:30 PM each night? Is that because that's the time available with dh and you all cherish that time together, or is it because all of a sudden it's 10:30 PM, and everyone's then very ready for bed? If it's the former, then it's important to spend the time that is available with dh, and a later start to school may just have to be a reality. But if it's the latter, then an earlier bed time could be a very good thing that has a big impact on the overall flow of your school day.

I also have a question about your ds - is he a morning person? I have to ask as how you were describing the way he winds down to a slow, slow, somewhat unproductive state after lunch truly does describe ME. With your ds being the age he is and doing PHFHG, he could begin his day before the rest of you do if he's a morning person. The reason I ask is because my 11 yo came up with this idea on his own. He wanted to do his Bible Quiet Time before the rest of us, and then later in the year he asked if he could also do his Science Exploration before we got up. He got up early and did these things, and we were all very happy with this arrangement. He liked having the house quiet and to himself, getting up early, and having a jump start on his school day.

My 11 yo ds is my oldest too, and he is extremely motivated by the fact that he can do some things independently. Being in control of these things helps him be more in control of his day, and he likes that. He likes to finish school by lunch time. I wonder if your ds has ever had the thought that it truly would be feasible to be finished by lunch time? Every day, with a little bit of planning and perseverance, he could easily be done by lunch with his school. Your ds could set his own alarm, and get up and get going with his PHFHG day. When you get up, you could do his "Reading about History" reading first, and get him going on his History Project, as well as any other "T" or "S" boxes you wanted to so he could then have independent work time after that while you work with the littles.

I'd love to hear your ds's thoughts on this - if he would be motivated to do PHFHG from say 8 AM to 11:30 AM, or 9 AM to 12:30 PM or so. This is about the maximum time PHFHG should take, so this is very possible. As far as the writing goes, I'll wait on chatting about that until I hear more about how the day goes as far as time increments. Hope something here helps, but I'll check back!

In Christ,
Julie

[Mercy]

Hi again today,

To answer your question Julie, yes it is more of the latter. He just seems to rev up sometime around 8:00! Then, we find ourselves out shopping, engaged in a project of some kind, or…?? It is honestly something he admits he struggles with very much and would like to change, yet…doesn’t. I am totally opposite and find myself nodding off around 8:00, easily! It used to really bother me and caused some heart kinks for me, then I just decided to “go with the flow” a little more…I am much more cheerful now if you know what I mean.

I can see very much how a change in our sleeping habits would really help us, but I honestly don’t see that is possible for me to do. Its kind of out of my hands, kwim? I have tried to implement bedtime at a certain time and would have them all ready, yet…until Daddy says “its time”, then they seem to keep going. Hard to explain and I truly hope that I am not showing you my sweet hubs as something other than a fantastic guy, because he really, truly is!! We all have our struggles and this just happens to be his…so we are working with it.

OK! Here’s to complete honesty! A totally “real” typical, non-typical day:

As it was memorial day weekend, we happened to have some very late nights this weekend. It made for a tough beginning this morning! Daddy left at 8 this morning, I got up in just enough time to rinse off in the shower. Missed my “quiet time” this morning. Drug my 11yo outta bed by bribing him with a mini cinnamon roll. LOL! It took him a good 15 minutes for him to be coherent and loose his crankiness..if that tells you how ‘not’ a morning person he is! I made bagels & sausage while 11yo had his bible time (>10 min.), 3yo raided the fridge then sat down to color at the table. 8:30 I bribed my little girl out of bed too. (shameless, I know…but after a long weekend it would be difficult to do otherwise!) Lots of groans this morning. Rougher than normal! Finally at 8:45 we eat breakfast. It is very important for me to begin my day with my kids altogether I have learned. It keeps me centered. Lunch is usually impossible for us to do together. After breakfast, everyone clears table, gets dressed, teeth are brushed, beds made, etc. We met again at 9:30, I started the day with a timed test for math today (long story, but we are doing light math right now). After that we try to remember to say the pledge, but we always begin our day with a song of praise & then we pray. This makes such a difference in attitudes, etc. It only takes a few minutes, but the rewards are huge! We used to do this with Daddy and that works really good, since it gets everyone up earlier and plus we get to enjoy having him be a part of it. It’s a hard habit to be consistent with though since he needs to focus on getting to off to work.
So from there we go into “Rhyme Time.” Usually 11yo does not join us, but my 6yo begged me today. That also only takes a few minutes, so I let him. So, he really began his day around 9:50. He started (apparently) with the thing he didn’t want to do the most – science. He LOVES science, but this time (as I mentioned in the last post) was the 5 questions. This apparently makes him dread it. And, he dragged on this assignment – all day. He worked on this (loosely) while I did LHTH with my 3yo. My 6yo worked at the table too on her math and R&S book. I had to get after 11yo because he continually got distracted. Got up to help 6yo to find a pencil (not necessary), I had to step away for a second & 11yo was playing with 3yo, then he had to let the dog outside…I found him OUTSIDE with the dog!

10:15 I met with him. He had somehow read the material for science and wrote his name on the paper. I had a minute to do dictation with him, then I went with my 6yo to do most of her LHFHG. He read his history reading independently – 15 minutes, then worked on his science again…I guess, 15 minutes. He had a little more done this time.

11:06 I met with him again. He told me his narration from history and then we did Geography (8 min) and English, oral part only (8 min).

11:30 I made lunch while listening to LHFHG girl to read aloud to me. 11yo read story time independently. He is a great narrator! He always has really good input and correlations. He always seems to be one step ahead of the questions I am supposed to ask from his box, it makes me laugh every time!

12:00-12:35 he worked on English. I assigned only 12 and out of those there are only 2 full sentences. He is again very distractible at this point. Pencil drumming, playing with brother again, counting in Spanish, trying to tell me stories, etc.

Here is the Lunch Time mark!

MY part of PHFHG is done. I have finished LHTH, LHFHG . The rest lies upon him. The weight is heavy for him. At this point he has the following left: Poetry, Independent History, History project, Extension (reading only) and still…science. The truth is this is a very non-typical day. We are usually a little more focused, wake a little earlier, but the workload is a little more as well for him. We normally have more chore time expected along with the fact that we had a light math day today, no drawn (we just finished up our 1st genre!), he has already memorized his poem, plus there are no big written assignments, like history or poetry. He did have his copy work in his independent history, but he seemed to zoom through that.

Onto the rest of the day…this is where it gets tricky, because I am not watching as closely. After lunch ends he read his extension book for 11 min. then finally finished his science. It took him another 35 minutes this time for a grand total of 1hour & 15 min throughout the day. He also practiced his poem. This point in the day is done alone, I am upstairs (finally getting some quiet time) – my 3 yo takes a nap, my 6yo is doing anything quiet that doesn’t bother her older brother. So, this SHOULD be a productive time for him.

At this point he is really discouraged. It’s around 2:30. I let him go outside and play. I meant for it to only be a five minute fresh air thing, but he got a ½ hour. Next up was his independent history, which only took him 20 minutes. I do not understand since it is copy work…but, he didn’t seem to dread that as much at all.

So, all last week no friends came around. Today, at 3:00…here comes his friend! All he had left was to finish the rest of his independent history (he only had a sentence or so left) and his project. He finished his history without a complaint, but he DOES NOT like the projects and broke down in tears that he had to do it. He knows that it is easy for me to let the projects go…I know I shouldn’t, but he doesn’t like them and I don’t want to fight and fuss at the end of the day. So, I did what I am not supposed to do & said – go play. (We don’t have a single paper bag in the house apparently. I said we will do it later, but the chances are slim) Ugh. It is the friend, not my son that pushes. I just feel like it makes me seem like such an ogre mom when EVERY SINGLE TIME he comes to the door my son is “still working.” It doesn’t matter what time he comes, he seems to have more to do…

Many times we start much earlier than today. He was waking earlier (and really enjoyed that extra jump on the day!!) In fact he mentioned today that he really wants to do that. It is just tough for me to wake him in the mornings. He is similar to DH…wants to get up, but when it comes to actually doing it – just doesn’t happen.

This was an extremely long post. I totally exposed myself to you all. This day was not MY best day, so I hope you all have grace on me. I do have better days. I am sure this problem is probably more of a mommy problem than a son problem…I just don’t know how to handle it. As you can see, I tend to drift off in the afternoon – I have things to take care of, being a homemaker and all. I give it all I got until lunch, then I spend a few minutes alone with God, resting, etc. (Remember I have a very “busy” 3yo here. If I don’t keep him constructively busy he starts looking for trouble!!) After quiet time, I switch laundry around, and get busy doing whatever is on my “to do” list for the day. I just can’t keep going with school all day long, so I just let him sit & take his time doing whatever he’s doing.

I am really close to the matter. What am I doing wrong?? Tell it to me straight. I can take it.

[Mercy]

Let me give you a quick glance of today, so it is easier for you...

Left side:
History - 15
Storytime- 15
Geography - 8
Independent - 20
Did not do project

Right Side:
Poetry - 5
Bible - 10
Math - 4 (typically 20 min)
Dictation- 7
English - 8 +35 = 43
Science - 1 hour, 15 min.
Did not do DRAWN

Isn't it weird? Like I said, usually when he does the poetry and the written narrations it takes awhile too...

[Mercy]

Bad News Update...

No wonder he wasn't "concerned" with his copy work..he didn't complete it. Now he is back sitting at the table, working. I have noticed that he is quietly trying to get away with various things like this. Honestly, I am just coming from a very tiring season with my 3 yo, before that I had a difficult season with my 6yo (those two sort of inter-lapped a little bit...), but both of those have been subsiding as my 3 yo has been growing up more and God gave me some insight with my 6yo's personality - plus HOD helped a lot too!! What I am trying to say is I can feel my Father in heaven whispering in my ear that this is my 11yos season...and I am fighting it. I LOVE my boy!! It just seems like he's old enough to handle this. I resent that I need to "baby" him when he isn't a baby. Thank God for His abundant grace upon me!!!!!!!!!! By His grace and His help I will resolve to be more involved. Persistence is not one of the attributes that come naturally to me.

This doesn't seem like an easy fix. I just want some kind of "trick" to use, but these are deep-rooted issues that don't just "go away" necessarily. Please pray for us if the Lord prompts you to. I know these are petty and shallow issues, but for our home they mean a lot. God has a plan for my young man. His Character needs to be formed, yet I know it begins in my heart first. Who knows the plans He has for us! By His help alone can we overcome these issues.

I am feeling terrible for high-jacking so much space here on the message board. Yikes!

Again, thank you for allowing me to be open here and for any prayers.

God's love to you all,
Mercy