Discouraged

[AnaDawson]

Last year I homeschooled my 1st grade daughter from October through December and decided that it was too much for me to handle. We enrolled my dd in public school in January. Come May, however, the decision to homeschool the next school year came up again. We felt that homeschool was the right decision for our family for many reasons. The reason I gave up on homeschool last December was because I did not have a plan for the holidays. I expected to do school right up until it was Christmas Eve. This year I have planned a little better and stopped school a week before Christmas and do not plan to start until Monday the 4th of January. I am just feeling so discouraged again. I just don't want to do it. Toward the end of November my homeschool got stuck in a rut. The kids and I were no longer excited to do each box. It was almost as if we were just rushing through the boxes just to finish and get on with the day. I don't want to feel like this and I especially don't want my kids to feel this either. I know it is my fault that they even feel this, because they mirror my bad attitude. I guess I am just wondering if it is normal to feel a little let down and discouraged at this time of year when school is getting ready to start. I know it sounds crazy, but the subjects I am looking forward to teaching most are math, phonics, and grammar. I guess with the other subjects, my children have a hard time really being focused and interested. Anyone else feel this way about starting school this January.

[Dorla]

Ana,
Have you considered going for 3 weeks of school and then a week off? or any other combination? How about a 4 day weekly plan?
I have felt the same way many times. We have stopped school for the last two months because of attitude issues with my son and burnout on my end. After this break I believe we will be ready to start again, but will be a little more relaxed.
Praying for you right now!
Dorla

[3sweeties]

Hi Ana!

I'm so sorry you are having a rough time! (((HUGS))) We have definitely had those days/seasons in our house over the past 3 years. Every family is different, but I feel like only this year have we found our "groove" as far as attitudes, etc. in our homeschool. A friend told me a while back that the third year of homeschooling is usually when everything clicks. All that to say, hang in there! Homeschooling really is a calling and sometimes that is the only way I can get through my days/weeks -- knowing that I am doing what God has called our family to gives me the strength and grace I need to get through the tough days. Everyone has days and even seasons where it is hard to find the joy and excitement. To be honest, I worried a lot about my DS loving every moment of school the first and even second year I homeschooled. I felt like a failure as a mom and teacher when he would complain or say he didn't like school. It has only been this year that I have been able to let go of my expectation that school will always be fun for him and to not take it personally if he is not begging for school every day (which he doesn't!)

This is our first year with HOD and I will say that he complains a lot less, but I have also let him know that complaining is not acceptable and some things will be more fun than others. It would be the same if he were in PS -- especially as the workload increases in 2nd and 3rd grade.

Some things I implemented this year that seemed to help is (1) workboxes -- I do a very simplified version of this, but he really enjoys having at least 2 things that he sees as "fun" to do during his school time. Workboxes are not necessary with HOD, but it has helped him tremendously to see how much more work he needs to do until he done for the day. (2) He "earns" computer time each day. We start out with three little computer screens I draw on the whiteboard, which stand for 10 min. each of computer time. Every time he complains or has a bad attitude about school, one gets erased. This has worked wonderfully for him. All I have to do is give a little warning, "It sounds like you are starting to complain..." and he usually changes his attitude. None have had to be erased yet! (3) We are also doing Bigger, but I am going through it slowly, doing a 4 day week. Fridays are "Freaky Fridays" where we do all our "extras" (art, games, extra reading time, nature study, composer study, etc.) He LOVES having that extra day and I do too! This does mean that we will continue Bigger into about 10 weeks next year (3rd grade), but I am okay with that b/c Bigger is really more of a 3rd grade level program, IMO.

HTH! Winter is a really tough time for homeschoolers -- it is hard to feel motivated and get going again -- you are definitely not alone in feeling like that! I try to view it as a marathon of sorts and when you finish the year it is so worth it! Just this year I am really starting to see some of the fruit in my son of all the hard work, prayers, tears, and sacrifice of the past three years. (((HUGS))) again!

[funkmomma71]

I'm sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your attitude towards school, have you enlisted your husband in praying for you?? Recently the Lord revealed something that needed to change in me in regards to homeschooling my dd. I went to my husband with this revelation and conviction and asked for his prayers, support and accountability. I was ashamed to have to confess my sin and need for change, but to my surprise he had already seen this area of concern and was praying for me! He has since stepped up his prayers and has been more involved in our day to day school stuff, which in turn has helped me be a better teacher and parent. Pray with your husband about your heart attitude and for guidance in how to approach homeschooling. In the meantime, why not try focusing on teaching the basics and doing only half the rest everyday. I would also consider taking breaks, I schedule breaks into our school year, it helps to know that there will be a time of rest after 6-8 weeks of school. HTH!

[threegreatkids]

Someone on this board recommended the book, "Help for the Harried Homeschooler" a few months ago, and now that I'm reading it I find I'm mentioning it to other people both in real life and on this board. It is the first resource I've seen that addresses issues such as "burnout" and "homschooling during a crisis". I dealt with burnout last year after homeschooling through a crisis and I wish I'd read this book earlier! So... just passing this book suggestion along, and praying for you too!
Also, after putting one child in school for 3 months and then withdrawing her we were told by our state homeschooling organization that if you do this more than two or three times in our state the family will automatically be investigated by the Dept of Social Services. I do not say that to make you fearful, but only in case it is something you wish to check into in your own state before making any more changes.

[AnaDawson]

All,

Thank you so much for your encouragement and advice. I feel so blessed to have you. I will be taking everyone's advice in one way or another. We will only be doing 4 days a week of school and will also be changing our daily schedule to meet the needs of my younger children. I will be taking advantage of the babies' daily two hour nap to do some school. I was beginning to resent not having much time to spend with the younger children during the morning hours while we had school. I was also selfish in wanting those two hours to do whatever I wanted. Things may change and we may only do school for one of the two hours of nap time, but I guess I will know when we have the right schedule. Our schedule until now was from 9a.m.-12p.m. and we were done. As I had mentioned before, my attitude has a lot to do with it. I felt like I wanted it to be 12 already so we could finish school and I could get other things done. The book that was mentioned is also one I would like to purchase. I guess asking my husband to pray for me is never at the top of my list of ways to seek help. I go to him so often complaining about things, but I never humble myself and ask him to pray for the sin or battles in my life. How sad. Thank you for opening my eyes and reminding me of the help that God has already built into my life. Please don't ask me how often I have even talked to God about this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[mamaloves4]

Hi there,

It sounds like you have a good plan in place and you have gotten lots of great advice from the ladies on the board. I just wanted to chime in with something else for you to consider. I usually hit the 'burnout' stage around March. I love the 4 day a week plan. I also plan my math/reading/writing to come at the end of the school day, which for us is late morning/early afternoon. It is a little backward, but I have a tendency to drop the other subjects once we have the 'basics' completed for the day. One thing new that I implemented this year is a week off every 9 weeks of school. I have so loved that! And in December I run a different schedule--we do less! Granted, we will not finish our guides at the end of May like I would have liked, but December was still full of learning, but at 1/2 speed. These are just some things that I have done that have helped me enjoy the journey along with my kids.

Jess

[jenntracy]

i know with us, we decided to take off from Thanksgiving til Jan. 4th.9Actually a few days before Thanksgiving) i knew i couldn't handle it. Boy am i glad we did.

We actually did 2 half days of school this week and did one whole day today! i believe it paid off to take off sooner than later.

i know you would have to wait til next year to try this ,but that is my suggestion. i did the couple days this week to ease us back into regular mode, plus i know that we have to take our puppy to the vet for shots and we have another doctor appt. next week. Have to just work around those.

Don't be discouraged. if you get Math and Reading in at this time of year i think you are doing great!

Have a great New Year!
Jenn

[my3sons]

Ana,
You've already received such sound advice here. It is an incredible blessing to have so many ladies on this board sharing how their relationship with the Lord impacts their homeschooling and can be used as a refuge in times of difficulty. All of us grow discouraged and weary at times. I think it's important to work to find back our joy then, and also to realize that homeschooling is work and will have its challenges like any job. There a lot of gold nuggets of advice in 3sweetie's post! Thank you for your thoughts there, Jessica. I have found so much of what you said to be true in our homeschooling as well, and your words really spoke to me. Now that I'm been homeshcooling 7 years, I know my expectation of my dc loving every moment of school is an unattainable one (unless I want to water down my academic and spiritual goals for my dc, which I won't). We've also worked on the "no complaining" issue about school (and many other things in life ). This is something for me to always work on and monitor as well as complaining never does anything to help anyway. Having organizational helps and consequences for a poor attitude like Jessica shared are also important. Also, having some time off and looking forward to that time off does wonders for working hard and choosing a joyful attitude the rest of the time. We have chosen time off different ways every year - 4 days a week and 1 day off, summers off, more/less off for the holidays, sporadic time off a day or two at a time for special outings, etc. - but yet all with the goal to finish at a certain date so we don't get too off track.

One other thing I'll add is that having something to look forward to for myself is extremely important for me to maintain a joyful attitude as well. Every person is different, but I have found I need to have one night a week to have an outing with an adult away from the home. Usually, this is with my sister who is my best girl friend, or with my husband in the form of a date. I also try to run errands by myself at least one time a week. These outings are detrimental for me to maintain a happy attitude the whole rest of the week that I am home. I don't leave the house any other times than this (other than for church on Sunday), so these times are necessary for me. Every person is different - you may need more or less time than I do to de-stress, but finding that balance is crucial to being able to happily homeschool the rest of the time IMO. HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

[Carrie]

Ana,

I will pray for your right now that the Lord will encourage you and equip you to answer the call He's given you to homeschool. He is always faithful!

If you have other questions about revamping your schedule, feel free to ask away! The ladies are so gracious with their time, and we love to help and encourage.

Blessings,
Carrie

[deltagal]

Ana,

Forgive me, but I had to chuckle when I read your post. I've always joked that my greatest challenge was getting through January and February without enrolling the children in school. For me, most years that has been the most challenging time to homeschool - a little more house bound, restless and still so much ground to cover.

I was thinking just yesterday how this year, for the FIRST time I don't have that burden. We've been blessed with contentment in our routine, expectations and needs.

And as much as I had planned to forge ahead this month, we're lingering where we are and shoring up skills before moving forward.

Back in September we went through a very rough period with homeschooling - we had lost our balance and our focus as a family. But with prayer and persistence it is returning. Discouragement happens. It doesn't mean you're done or that you've failed, it's a natural and perhaps, necessary part of fine tuning who you are as a family and where God is leading you.

You're in my prayers.