To combine or not to combine...that is the question

[threegreatkids]

It seems like there have been a good number of threads recently that have touched on this issue...and clearly there are families in each camp who are thriving and have made exactly the right choice for their individual family.
I wonder if folks might be willing to share whether (and how) they combine (or don't combine) with HOD. How did you make this decision? What factors did you consider...kids' personalities, Mom's personality and style, birth order and age span, other issues.
We are still on the fence about whether to try to do more combining next year, and I thought this might be helpful for others as well.

[juliekay]

Hello! We combined HOD with 3 children - all boys - last year and this year. Last year we used Bigger (ages 7, 11, 12) and this year we are using Preparing ( ages 8, 12, 13). It's worked out wonderfully. So much so that we just fell in love with HOD! I think what helped me make my decision and made it easy to combine is that HOD has so many options. For example: This year my older 2 are using Preparing as written with extension plus some extras while my 8 year old sticks to it as written minus some of the written work. Also, they just happen to fall into the ages that worked for us and for these 2 guides. Now, next year I will only combine my oldest 2 and youngest 2. Older 2 will be in 7th & 8th. They will do RTR with extensions. My middle guy will do Bigger with extensions. My 2.5 year old and 5 year old will continue LHTH and I'll extend with FIAR for my 5 year old until she demands more. I'm hoping to use LHFHG for 1st grade with her.... I love the flexibility of the HOD guides, yet the choices that allow me to target each child at his/her needs!

[water2wine]

I've kind of done and do both. Last year I had my 6th and 4th graders together in Bigger. That includes one that has learning issues and was in 1st grade reading. Then I combined my young K and 1st grader together in LHFHG. This worked great for us. This year I separated out my 7th grader from my 5th graders. The reason I did this was one to get her more on age level and two to separate her from her natural ascendancy to help and sometimes carry my dd with special needs who is the same age but working two grades below her in everything except reading where she is a slow three grades below her. I found that my dd with special needs was not trying as hard as she could be because she had someone there who would do it for her and I also found that my dd who does not have special needs was not striving to do her best on her own level because she was catering to her sister and feeling pretty good comparing herself to ehr sister. I hope all that makes sense. It meant this year we do three programs instead of two but I have found that it is really worth it. I find everyone is striving to hit a higher level. The kids in Preparing see that CTC is more in terms of requirements and the ones who do not have special needs strive to compete with the oldest in CTC (in a good way). The oldest now is putting her energy into her own work and enjoying having CTC to herself. My child with special needs is working harder quite honestly mostly becasue my other two kids doing Preparing will not carry her and will not put up with her not carrying her own work. And even my younger two are putting more into it because they see the more independent stuff being done in Preparing and CTC and they try to make Beyond kind of like that. In doing so I find them taking the program a step farther on their own.

So if you followed all that then I will also tell you that last year combining all the older kids in Bigger and the younger two in LHFHG was also perfect. In fact the plan was to combine the older kids in Preparing this year. But what happened was I began to see that some independence for my oldest and less dependence on my oldest by her sister would be a good thing. Basically just felt like God was showing me that for this year letting the oldest go on her own would serve all of them better. Non e of this was anything to do with how they relate to each other as far as getting along. It was more about putting them in a position where they could all grow more. I hope that makes sense and maybe there is something in here that will be of help. Prayer is really the way I came to what to do with my kids as far as programs. I felt like we would have a good year either way. But this way solved some family dynamics and gave my oldest more of HOD which is really my goal.

[kamariden]

Combining was never really a thought in my mind, though I can understand why other moms consider it. For me, my eldest is just too far advanced to try to combine with my second without worrying about holding him back or ending up with a lot of extra work on my part to come up with extra supplements. Also, their personalities are TOTALLY different and I am certain their learning styles are as well. My eldest really thrives on paper and pencil stuff and gets almost as excited about learning something new and doing well as he does about going on a ride at Disneyland. (Seriously.) Meanwhile, my youngest hasn't started schooling yet (will start a very slow LHTH in January) but I just don't see him sitting quietly and working on worksheets independently any time soon. He's known among our friends as "the destroyer and the daredevil." He'll climb up and jump off almost anything and loves shredding things and taking them apart - things my eldest son never showed much interest in at any age. My eldest son prefers quietly sitting and looking at books, building a city out of wooden blocks for his cars to drive through, or watching television. A perfect example is putting on a Kids' Songs DVD and typically, my eldest will sit and watch quietly while my youngest bounces around the room "dancing" and singing. Sure there's an age difference of a little over 2 years, but I think they just approach life differently. So trying to adapt the same unit to their two vastly different personalities and widely different ability levels just sounds like a nightmare to me.

[threegreatkids]

Thanks for sharing your experiences, Julie, water2wine, and kamariden!
Anyone else care to share? If you've written something about combining/not combining in another thread feel free to cut and paste. There have been so many great thoughts the past few weeks but they are on several different threads so i thought it'd be helpful to put them in one spot

[deltagal]

Up until HOD I've had my children all together. But what drew me to HOD was that I felt that each of my children needed work that was more on their level without me having to spend inordinate amounts of time coming up with a plan. Last year, before switching to HOD I really could see how I was working hard to put things on my oldest child's level and as a friend of mine says, " I threw the others a bone when I had the time." I switched to HOD because it seemed that managing multiple programs on their levels would be doable and benefit them. This has proven to be the case. We still do our extracurricular things together.

[juliekay]

Up until HOD I've had my children all together. But what drew me to HOD was that I felt that each of my children needed work that was more on their level without me having to spend inordinate amounts of time coming up with a plan. Last year, before switching to HOD I really could see how I was working hard to put things on my oldest child's level and as a friend of mine says, " I threw the others a bone when I had the time." I switched to HOD because it seemed that managing multiple programs on their levels would be doable and benefit them. This has proven to be the case. We still do our extracurricular things together.

Thank you for sharing. I may have already expressed this to you, but I plan to move into 3 guides next year and I am a bit nervous about it. It looks to me like you are making it work. Do you find that you have the time to get all of your teacher-led reading done for each program?

[deltagal]

Thank you for sharing. I may have already expressed this to you, but I plan to move into 3 guides next year and I am a bit nervous about it. It looks to me like you are making it work. Do you find that you have the time to get all of your teacher-led reading done for each program?

Julie kay,

My oldest (12yo) is very independent and is able to take the initiative with the bulk of his program, especially the projects. I've been focusing this year on my 10 yo and trying to develop his independence. We've still got a long way to go, BUT he is able to do his independent reading on his own....finally. I do storytime with all of them together using the selections from Beyond. In January we'll move to Bigger's selections. We currently use the Bible from Beyond as devotional time for everyone at Breakfast and then my 12 yo does the Preparing Bible on his own. In January my 10 yo will begin doing Bible on his own and we'll use the devotions from Bigger for everyone at Breakfast. I work with my youngest just a couple of days a week, although she desires more and more. I like to stay "on track" in the guides as much as possible, so if we have an off week (or month ), I'll just spend a day or two reading to catch up and another day doing hands-on acitivities.

Just some thoughts....

[threegreatkids]

I'm enjoying reading these responses and seeing how HOD works so well for different families. I didn't realize that some families have gone from one to another (combining to not, or vice versa)...that is helpful to keep in mind that as circumstances change HOD can be used in different ways as God leads us.
We are moving towards combining everyone for the left side, with different right sides for each child. This is sort of evolving. Reasons for us for doing this include having children close in age (3 in 3 years), doing a co-op with a 5 year history cycle (if we combine all in Preparing-left-side next year it will correspond nicely most of the time) and enjoying planning field trips and other enrichment around our history programs (for example the year we studied early American history we went to Washington D.C. and loved seeing the connections the kids made).
I do find it to be a tough decision because there are so many great things about having everyone right at their target level...the way the whole HOD program flows together, knowing that the child is progressing steadily, neither frustrating nor boring them...etc.
We started this year (our first HOD year) with youngest doing a completely separate program. Without really planning it, he has been choosing to join us for Bigger's history readings, storytime, and projects (more and more). Age-wise he just barely misses the cutoff (he will turn 7 very soon). In terms of basic skills he fits perfectly in Little Hearts, but his listening/processing/interest seems to be more at the level of Beyond/Bigger. We are going to try "officially" having him do the left side of Bigger for a few weeks (while still doing the Little hearts history readings) and see how it goes.
I am feeling a great relief as I have adored HOD so much, but missed combining for Bible/history and was beginning to consider another program that was more multi-age It made me so sad to consider leaving HOD It has blessed our family so much this year. So...now that I'm understanding that we are more of a combining family I think we are narrowing in on finding what will fit us.
This thread and other recent "conversations" on this topic have been super helpful. Praise the Lord for the ways He is allowing us all to use HOD to fit our families perfectly!
I hope others will share their experiences, too

[my3sons]

We have dc ages 10, 6, and 2, and we do not combine for anything at this time. This year, I am doing CTC, Beyond, and LHTH. It is a perfect fit for our family. I think combining works well in many situations for many reasons, but for us it works well not to combine. Our dc are all between 3 and 4 years apart, and their abilities range widely. This is one of the major reasons I do not combine. They have different attention levels right now, and I like for the time they are required to do school to match this. I do school for 15-20 minutes with my 2 yo, for 2 1/2 hours with my 6 yo, and for 4 hours with my 10 yo. I like this variation because no one feels stretched too far or not far enough. They also have different reading and writing abilities, which really factors into what they can truly do and take from a given program. I want them each to take the most from each guide they possibly can.

Their Bible knowledge and heart level of faith vary greatly as well. Another major reason I am doing separate guides is so I can meet with each one individually and talk personally about their faith. I vary how much I share about my faith, what I share about my past/current joys and struggles with being a Christian, and what character traits each need to work on or are doing well with. I like that there is no comparison between them in this regard, and they can feel safe to share their insecurities, questions they may be too embarrassed to ask otherwise, and how they are feeling about their walk with the Lord personally.

Another reason I don't combine is both my dh and I feel strongly that we do not want our dc exposed to mature content too early, especially in the academic areas of history and literature. I am also very comfortable teaching multiple programs and enjoy the variety.

I believe it takes me less time to teach 3 separate programs than it would to tweak by stretching or modifying things in 1 program (or even 2) for them to be combined. We are done by lunch time every day, and that suits us well. We get up and do school first thing each day until we are done, and then we have the rest of the day and evening for other things. This brings me to another reason we combine - our dc have all afternoon and evening to be together. This gives them ample time to read, play, create, compete, and work together.

Finally, one of my goals is to stay very close and in tune with each of our dc. Teaching them separately lets me do this. I am able to spend time with all of the dc together many, many hours of the day between open afternoons and evenings, but it is much harder for me to spend individual time with them. I am concerned about "losing my dc's hearts" otherwise. In fact, in the summer, when we don't homeschool, I always feel much more distant from the dc - even though we are all together all of the time. I ended up trying to carve time out with each of the dc in different ways, but none are as successful as simply homeschooling them separately, and giving my full attention to each of them individually for a time each day. I think we can "lose our dc" if we lose touch with them, and I just am not that great about spending time alone with any of them without homeschooling them separately.

Many of these reasons could be specific to my family. Other moms may do a great job of spending time individually with their dc, or may find that everyone shares very freely during group Biblical discussions, or maybe they thrive on tweaking a guide and combining all together. Or, maybe their dc are in activities at night and on the weekends, and school is the only time they can carve out all together. That is why I think that it is important curriculums offer the options of either combining or not combining to parents. It is such a personal choice that has no one right answer. Taking the time to weigh what's best for our families helps each of us feel more confident in what we're doing because we know our goals. Blessedly, HOD has enough options that both combining and teaching separately can be done well and enjoyed to the fullest. Thanks for starting this thread, and I hope more ladies continue to add their thoughts here as it is so helpful for others thinking through the same things.

In Christ,
Julie

[8arrows]

Last year I had my three oldest doing MFW 1850 to Modern Times. The two next younger did Beyond. This worked well, except it was a stretch for my 5th grade daughter, now 6th. She also sat in on much of Beyond (which is something I didn't figure into the equation for this year.) This year we started her in HOD CTC while the two boys below her did Bigger. Academically speaking everything should have been perfect, but something was missing. The 6th grader felt very alone, everyone missed being together, and I struggled to keep up with 2 high schoolers, CTC, Bigger, LHTH, and a nursing infant. School was becoming a chore, although in the past I had always enjoyed teaching. I also was struggling to wrap my mind around the different time periods. The middle three children need to be combined for my time, sanity, and their personalities. We have now switched to all three middles to Preparing. That is working well for us. They are enjoying having the same read alouds and projects. They are also playing together more. I do agree that this is a family by family decision, not a one-size fits all, and I am so thankful that Carrie and her sister are supportive of both those who do combine and those that do not. It is refreshing to find a curriculum that allows families to infuse their own personality into the programs. I also wanted to comment that switching has not upset anyone in the least. I had major issues with the idea of switching mid-year, but no one else did, and I am so glad I did. I am not displeased with the first half of our year; this is just better. I was surprised at the ease of the transition, and I think it is due to the similarity in the set-up of the guides. Plus, of course, their math, English, and dictation did not change at all. We were able to just plunge right in.

[Carrie]

This is a terrific thread and is a topic that we end up discussing quite frequently on the board. So, I love the idea of having a thread solely devoted to this topic!

I'm going to bump it to the top of the board off and on over the next few weeks, in the hopes that as many of you that have time will get a chance to respond. This will give us a very informational thread as a link for those who are pondering this important topic. While the thread celebrates the fact that each family is different, the various scenarios are a wonderful guide for each family to ponder in finding the best fit for them.

Blessings,
Carrie

[inHistiming]

Well, we are a family that has done both. When I began HOD I was only doing Beyond... with my dd and another program with my older son. However, he was always coming over to listen in on her storytime, history readings, science, etc. So, the following year I decided to go ahead and combine them....we soon found out we were expecting number 4 and it was a relief to have already decided our school stuff that year. It was a busy year with a move and a new baby but it worked well over all. I think trying to do separate programs for them would have been too much at that time.

This year, we started out with several different things for schooling, none of which I was really happy with. We missed our HOD! When it became clear that we would indeed have the money to purchase BOTH CTC and Preparing...we decided to do so. We had been feeling our oldest son needed more of a challenge, that our daughter needed her 'own' program so that they could each excel in their own way and not feel compared wth the other and to also be motivated to answer thir own questions instead of waiting for their sibling to answer all of the time.

So this year we're back to separate programs, and actually doing 3 becasue my youngest ds is finishing up LHTH. We just moved again in November, to a different state, so we've only just gotten started and of course now are off for Christmas, but so far it seems to be going well. I have spent some time over the last week creating a schedule/routine that I think will work well for us....if the baby will just adhere to it! We will be jumping right back in after the New Year and I'm looking forward to it. Right now, this is what is working for our family. Life frequently changes and one of the wonderful things about homeschooling and the HOD curriculum is flexibility. An added bonus is that my oldest son has been reading the Preparing...books in his own during his free time, so that in itself speaks about how great they are. Find what works for your family right now, and know that if you feel God leading you to change it down the road it is entirely possible with HOD.

[threegreatkids]

As I ponder this and read how other families are handling this issue, it seems to me that there are three major areas to consider for each child when combining:
1) Basic skills, such as what's on the placement chart
2) Ability to listen/comprehend material at a particular level
3) Heart-readiness for the content in a particular program
Can anyone think of other skill/development areas to consider? (Of course there are other family and preference issues.)

[mommyofgirls]

deleted post and made it into its own thread entitled "another combining question - long!"