Fear the loss of Family time, but we need consistency

[Bijou]

I am highly considering coming back to using HOD. We have been doing Master Books mostly this year. While it's working fine I am just not sure that it is the right fit long term. We have mostly been a CM family with workbooks/textbooks thrown in here or there out of necessity during certain seasons. I feel that my kids are "behind" skill-wise where they should be in some things after having used the CM method with mostly reading/narrating, and copy work. I know HOD incorporates those skills in the guides, but also SO much more that would have given the kids a more firm foundation had I stuck with it. One of the main things that holds me back is that while using HOD we may not have time for our "family time" that we have truly come to enjoy. We don't do everything together by any means, but we do read alouds like MOH, Bible stories, poetry, and other literature. I wanted to move toward doing more together, but it requires a lot more planning on my part. Honestly, I just want to get back to life without constantly looking at curriculum and what may or may not work for the kids. I kind of don't remember what that is like. The kids have just been picking their own books to read this year and while it is working out ok, it's not great. I only have one that willingly narrates. My oldest(16) can just be flat out lazy where school is concerned. But, in his defense I haven't been overly committed to school either and making sure I know exactly what he is learning. My middle(daughter 14) will hate me if I put her back in HOD. She was placed wrong last time and says it's boring and was too easy. She is extremely smart, but also very stubborn at times. Somewhere along the way I feel like I lost the strong side of my parenting skills and have just been letting the kids run the show(somewhat). My youngest(son 11) would love HOD with all the art and hands on type stuff. That is right up his alley. I guess I am just looking for some support. I know only I can make the decision about how to move forward.

[The2youngs]

Oh, Bijou, praying for you as you navigate this!

Our family has managed to still have a daily together time where we sing a hymn and folksong (we learn one each month) and do a read aloud of some sort. Sometimes it’s a HOD Storytime book, sometimes it’s just something I pick. It’s only about 30 minutes but we all enjoy it!

In reading through your post, my first thoughts surround your eldest two. It sounds like the lack of consistency has been the most significant issue, but that’s also compounded with teenager opinions/attitudes. However, they’re at the age where I think you could sit them down and have a serious heart to heart about school, maybe even apologize, if necessary, for not holding them to an appropriate standard and inform them that this is what you see is best for them, but that you’re willing to hear their well-thought out (not reactionary!) opinions about it. Maybe sit down with them and the placement chart and discuss with them where you and they think would be best for them and hear their thoughts. At their ages, there is going to be more “coming alongside” than when our kids were little and we just made all the decisions, but that also means that their input is heard and they can take more ownership of their learning. But, it sounds like they still need some guidance and accountability, which I think is very normal for these ages!

As far as your youngest, he sounds much like my 10yo! She’s thrived in CTC because of the hands-on and regular art that I was never giving her opportunity for previously!

Praying for you as you navigate this challenging situation and trusting the Lord for wisdom for your family.

[Bijou]

Heather,
Thank you so much! I appreciate your thoughts!

[Norrfam0506]

I am highly considering coming back to using HOD. We have been doing Master Books mostly this year. While it's working fine I am just not sure that it is the right fit long term. We have mostly been a CM family with workbooks/textbooks thrown in here or there out of necessity during certain seasons. I feel that my kids are "behind" skill-wise where they should be in some things after having used the CM method with mostly reading/narrating, and copy work. I know HOD incorporates those skills in the guides, but also SO much more that would have given the kids a more firm foundation had I stuck with it. One of the main things that holds me back is that while using HOD we may not have time for our "family time" that we have truly come to enjoy. We don't do everything together by any means, but we do read alouds like MOH, Bible stories, poetry, and other literature. I wanted to move toward doing more together, but it requires a lot more planning on my part. Honestly, I just want to get back to life without constantly looking at curriculum and what may or may not work for the kids. I kind of don't remember what that is like. The kids have just been picking their own books to read this year and while it is working out ok, it's not great. I only have one that willingly narrates. My oldest(16) can just be flat out lazy where school is concerned. But, in his defense I haven't been overly committed to school either and making sure I know exactly what he is learning. My middle(daughter 14) will hate me if I put her back in HOD. She was placed wrong last time and says it's boring and was too easy. She is extremely smart, but also very stubborn at times. Somewhere along the way I feel like I lost the strong side of my parenting skills and have just been letting the kids run the show(somewhat). My youngest(son 11) would love HOD with all the art and hands on type stuff. That is right up his alley. I guess I am just looking for some support. I know only I can make the decision about how to move forward.

Oh I totally understand! I know you and I have talked about this a lot. Sometimes as parents, we have to put our foot down. If you know in your heart that HOD will be what brings peace to your soul, then you as a parent have the right to make that decision. My husband backs me up and tells our girls that we have no issue listening to their concerns and suggestions regarding school, but in the end the final decision is up to me. Kids often don’t know what is best for them. I don’t think you would be disappointed if you stuck with HOD. I’ve struggled with indecisiveness over school just as much as you. I feel like it’s Satan attacking our homeschool. HOD is the second core curriculum we ever used. I wish we never would have strayed. I thought combining my girls would help, but my oldest just doesn’t like the thought of doing the same “school” as her younger sister. Stay the course and stand firm! Praying for you!

[Norrfam0506]

I am highly considering coming back to using HOD. We have been doing Master Books mostly this year. While it's working fine I am just not sure that it is the right fit long term. We have mostly been a CM family with workbooks/textbooks thrown in here or there out of necessity during certain seasons. I feel that my kids are "behind" skill-wise where they should be in some things after having used the CM method with mostly reading/narrating, and copy work. I know HOD incorporates those skills in the guides, but also SO much more that would have given the kids a more firm foundation had I stuck with it. One of the main things that holds me back is that while using HOD we may not have time for our "family time" that we have truly come to enjoy. We don't do everything together by any means, but we do read alouds like MOH, Bible stories, poetry, and other literature. I wanted to move toward doing more together, but it requires a lot more planning on my part. Honestly, I just want to get back to life without constantly looking at curriculum and what may or may not work for the kids. I kind of don't remember what that is like. The kids have just been picking their own books to read this year and while it is working out ok, it's not great. I only have one that willingly narrates. My oldest(16) can just be flat out lazy where school is concerned. But, in his defense I haven't been overly committed to school either and making sure I know exactly what he is learning. My middle(daughter 14) will hate me if I put her back in HOD. She was placed wrong last time and says it's boring and was too easy. She is extremely smart, but also very stubborn at times. Somewhere along the way I feel like I lost the strong side of my parenting skills and have just been letting the kids run the show(somewhat). My youngest(son 11) would love HOD with all the art and hands on type stuff. That is right up his alley. I guess I am just looking for some support. I know only I can make the decision about how to move forward.

I also suggest calling HOD directly to talk about placement! Their wisdom is so helpful!

[Carrie]

Thanks so much for sharing! The ladies have already shared so much wisdom in their responses. I suggest giving us a call too. We will be glad to help talk through placement to find what is best for your specific family situation.

While we can also talk about placement on the message board too, it can be a bit delayed with the back-and-forth. In a phone call you’ll get a chance to fully lay out where each of your kiddos are at, and we can get the answers we need to find the best placement.

If you’d rather discuss placement on the message board though, we can do it that way too!

On a sidenote, as kiddos mature there is a move toward more independence and less subjects done together as a family. This is just a natural progression that comes with maturity and the increasing need for independence and accountability. We have found the training in independence and accountability to be so important as kiddos get into late middle school and high school. It is something kiddos will need for life to function as an adult. You may find that both you and your children are relieved by having this independence built into the HOD guides.

Blessings,
Carrie

[amysconfections]

What has really worked for our family to keep together with spread out ages and different curriculum happening is to have Bible time. Many times I also set a timer so that we didn’t go for too long and hold up my older kids. We would say a scripture verse together that we were memorizing, review one that we had memorized, sing a hymn, say our catechism that we were working on and then I would use a character Bible study that I called out scriptures that they took turns reading and answered questions. The last thing we did was pray and all take turns praying for someone from our Christmas cards. We save them and pray for the people or families that the cards are from throughout the year.

This one thing helped us to connect together while allowing for my kids to work independently on their schoolwork that met their goals.

One thing I’ve learned from homeschooling highschool is that you have to do your best to help them set goals and show them options for their future. Outside accountability helps. Along with achievable goals. They also can really only be inspired when the goal feels within reach. My boys enjoyed proving mom wrong. . So for instance I might say I don’t think that you can really do xyz. They were so happy to show me that they could.

[Carrie]

This thread running on the board right now too might help as you ponder your options: https://heartofdakota.com/board3/viewto ... =6&t=18072

Feel free to pop back and share your thoughts if you get a chance!

Perhaps your 14 and 16 year old could be combined in something like Rev2Rev or MTMM or maybe even World Geography. Since you shared that your 16 year old isn’t especially motivated but your 14 year old is, some combination might work. Or maybe they would thrive in separate guides better? Or, maybe you could keep your middle daughter out of HOD, and just worry about placing your oldest and youngest where they need to be in HOD. This would allow you to forego a battle with your middle child and help you get the solid foundation in place that your older child will need for post high school plans.

Then, maybe your youngest would fit in Preparing or CTC? Both are great guides for stepping into independence.

Without knowing more about what they have had for grammar and writing and how much they are used to reading and schooling daily with independence, I am just guessing. But if you get a chance to pop back and share a bit more about each kiddo and any thoughts you have, we can definitely help!

Blessings,
Carrie

[Bijou]

I had some rare one on one time with my oldest this morning. We chatted and talked about school some. He told me he definitely likes literature based studies over a more traditional textbook approach. He likes narrating and does a very good job. I showed him examples of a couple different things I had been considering. He was really ok with either, but I don't know if I am. I want him to have a voice in the decision, but I also know that there are things he needs to learn and skills he needs to build. We have done HOD in the past and he enjoyed it and did well with it. I am just afraid that our days will be too long. We don't want school to take up our entire day. We like to let our kids explore their interests in the afternoons. Skill wise he placed between Red to Ref and Rev to Rev. I am not worried about him finishing or even getting to the high school guides. I plan to have him do the extensions and already have a plan for his science so it is more at high school level.

My middle, 14 year old daughter, is my tricky one. She is extremely smart and a self starter, but she tends to push back and fight me on certain things. For instance, she hates narrating and says she can't do it. I know better! When she is not being put on the spot she tells me all about the books she is reading. She has read 20 books for school already this year. She doesn't like the projects that are in the guides. She is like me and would rather choose her own books to read. HOwever, when choosing and scheduling for three kids it's a bit daunting. She would place between CTC and Res to Ref skill wise. I fear combining her and her older brother would be disastrous.

My youngest is 11. I delayed reading and formal English lessons for him as CM recommends. Plus, while he is very smart and super artistic, he was not ready for these skills right away. He has not done much writing, has not learned all the parts of speech, etc. He is probably my best narrator. He doesn't miss any little details. Like I mentioned, he is very artistic. Not in a crafty sort of way, but his free hand drawings are pretty amazing for an 11 year old. As far as I can tell he would place in Bigger.

[Rice]

My standard suggestion when unsure between two guides is to go with the lower one, so they can succeed. You can always go faster, but slowing down or decreasing expectations is difficult.

However, for your youngest, I would suggest Preparing. I, too, delay formal grammar until Preparing (even skipping what Carrie has in Bigger ) and start with R&S 3 in that guide. Even with no previous grammar instruction, my kids do fine there. If he's good at narrating orally, then it's probably time to start with written narrations, and Preparing is where that starts. The first few units takes them step by step through learning to turn their oral narrations into written ones, beginning with just 3 sentences, up to 5 by the end of the guide. It also begins with independence (which, at 11, he should be ready for, unless actually delayed in reading or executive functioning skills), with the instructions in two boxes (Science and Independent History Study) being written to the student, and the books they need to read at just a mid-third grade level.

Blessings,