Revisit:Afternoons, socialization, and a philosophy of life

[christyg]

Thanks, Katrina! I don't want to give anyone the impression that I think not doing ANY activities is the only way to go. In fact, we are involved in a few things. I absolutely love the way that Carrie does things in her home, and that's kind of our goal too. We want to pick activities that we will enjoy life long and that keep us together as much as possible. We have to tweak ours a bit, though, because we live 12 hours away from all of our family, and I have one girl and one boy. We are in a homeschool group to fill this need. We only do the fun stuff with them. We have a regular park day each week, and an occasional playdate, field trip, or holiday party with them on Fridays. We also do private music lessons. We do attend church on Wednesday night, but our church keeps the kiddos with the parents and does it as a family study. So, we are at home every night except for 1, and only have 2-3 afternoons that we have 1 activity on. We are only out of the house for a couple of hours on those days. That's it. We love to be at home and all of us get cranky when we are away too much.

We have decided not to do organized sports. My kids are kind of like Carrie's. They play all kinds of sports, but it's usually in the backyard with their sibling or friends.

There are a ton of other activities that we could get sucked into. Those are the things that I have trouble with saying "no" to. Things like the organized sports, multiple co-ops, homeschool enrichment classes, dance classes, taekwondo classes, and the list goes on. I feel like we have all of our academic needs covered, so we don't need any thing like that either. It's still hard not feeling like you have to sign up for EVERYTHING. For some reason, it seems that we as homeschoolers feel like we have to do more to justify what we do in teaching our kids in our homes. That's when I need that reminder.

Anyway, hope this clears that up a little.

Christy

[abrightmom]

Christy,

This has been a most encouraging and challenging thread. I am re-thinking a lot!

Carrie,

Do your boys work for HOD in the summer? I've felt that my sons would greatly benefit from a work opportunity in the summer. They want to earn money and frankly they need the structure. I don't feel that school is necessary for them through the summer to provide that structure but they DO need the work. It's unfortunate that there aren't more opportunities for young boys to have part time jobs. I simply don't know where to begin! Mowing lawns isn't an option where we live as most families hire landscape companies to mow, rake and trim for them . My boys have been asking for work for a long time .... The door of desire is open and I'm praying that God will provide a way for them to have a consistent work opportunity soon.

[MelInKansas]

I am glad I came back to read Carrie's post and others responses. I guess I need to read The Socialization Trap too, sounds like a good read! This has given me some good things to think about, as we are on the cusp of organized sports with the HS association. Some families I know and greatly respect have participated in those and I know they try to make the focus on Christ as much as possible, but maybe it's still too much and will work against our family and not for it.

abrightmom - there could be many opportunities for work for your kids, even under the age of 14. Pet sitting, dog walking are things they could do. Maybe they could volunteer at an animal shelter or another local charity, okay they're not getting paid but they would be working and learning about work! Our zoo actually has a summer program for "docents," kids who learn how to care for the animals and clean cages and stuff, again not paid but still good work for them. Or see if anyone you know either has rental properties or a business that would be willing to hire your kids for menial jobs. We have a rental house and with the ministry I am involved in at church my kids work with me on things and it has been very beneficial. Our financial planner said it's a great idea to hire your kids to work for you and pay them, as it works in your favor on taxes and also teaches them money management. Of course the Austins have a great opportunity since they own their own business to have their kids working for them.

[MomtoJGJE]

Another thing we try to remember is to not make one kid do something just because the others are doing it. If they don't want to do it, that's fine! We finish a season once we start, but we never assume they want to play a sport or do an activity. Each time something starts new we ask them to pray about it and see if God is wanting them to do whatever the next thing is. We've had some times where we've had four basketball teams and three softball teams playing during the same months. Other times where we've only had one person doing some activity. It really helps lighten your load if you present the things YOU are comfortable with as options, and let them decide from their heart if they really want to do it.