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How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:25 pm
by mamanlait
We've been doing HOD for 3 years now and my oldest dd (10) is desiring a switch. She loves the projects, reading, science (esp. in CtC), etc., but I can tell that it has just become one box after another for her to check. I'm guessing that the biggest issue is my approach. I say things like, "let's get started, which box should we start with" (my attempt to give her independence) or "did you complete your Bible box"? What I'm finding is that it's become drudgery instead of exciting and I know that the curriculum IS NOT un-exciting in the slightest. When I compare it to the curricula we have done in the past, it's so much more interactive and creative. I'm not leaving HOD, but I'd like to know how other moms approach their children. Over the years, we've struggled with her lacking self-motivation...I know this is probably a character trait issue more than anything but I want her to enjoy learning and actually learn (not just check the box)> :? Any suggestions? To brainstorm....

I've toyed around with taking the manual away and acting as though I am the teacher again (not the book-- I do the "boxes" with her that are meant to be combined or together all ready). But, she's at an age where it would take much longer to accomplish school if I did all the independent boxes with her. My other dd is requiring my time right now more. I've considered half-time HOD manual with full-time math (she's a young 5th grader) but I'm afraid that will give into her lazy-ish :) behavior and won't provide a strong enough learning time for her age. I've considered taking time off to just let her read, read, read and do math (she reads about a book a day for fun -- mostly books under her reading level though but she loves biographies) only for a month or two. I've considered enrolling her in a co-op class or two where she might have extrinsic motivation but that doesn't help get her work done at home. I guess the best help might be to learn how you start the day, how your attitude might be, I wish so much I had a homeschool mentor to watch!!!

Please give me some honest help. I feel discouraged about starting up soon knowing that this will be an uphill battle. Lots of frowns and "I hate school" talk. She is a very social child and I believe that she would excel if she was extrinsically motivated by a larger group of kids but I really don't like academic co-op settings; besides, I like staying on track with HOD. School (public or private) isn't in the cards, we are very committed homeschoolers, so I need practical advice for bringing the joy back to our school.

Thank you!

Amy

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 1:16 pm
by LAB
We're new to HOD, but not homeschooling. My oldest is 9 1/2 and still can't do a lot independently. We're working on it. Bad attitudes get a warning and then chores. There have been times where my bathrooms are very clean! Then they still do their work. I figure it our school time goes into my personal time then they can take over my work until they are ready.

I think there are seasons of great learning and then others where you just get by. I know in my life that is how things go. Id love everyday to be the idealistic school day, but honestly it doesn't happen often enough. Parenting is the same way. Many days I'm simply checking off tasks to get them done too.

Having a routine might help her to find joy in the journey. I find school easier to accomplish and I'm able to find more joy when I can run through it without thinking so much about what to do next. Your dd is old enough to make up her own routine. I'd sit down with her and write it up. Then she has the independence you want her to have

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 1:41 pm
by meandmycuties
My kiddos attend a co-op on Fridays and they absolutely love it. My DS is very anti-school so in the beginning he was hesitant, but now he gets excited about it. I considered changing things up and not doing co-op this year and all three kids said nooooo!! LOL! I hope someone gives you some good advice on how to make HOD more engaging for your DD.

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:48 pm
by Tree House Academy
Take the time to enjoy it with her. When she does projects, get involved! Give her something to look forward to (we do school store at the end of each week based on behavior and attitude). I also just know that school is not going to be "fun" every second of every day. The kids have to do things they don't like so much in addition to things they love. My youngest son is doing Bigger this year. He started today, actually. He loved everything...except copywork and reading his DITHR book aloud to me (because I chose one that will be a bit more challenging than what he is used to). I knew those would be areas he liked less, but we will work through it because they have to be done! So, keeping that in mind, try not to stress if she isn't loving every second of it - it isn't your fault (nor HOD's) and getting used to doing things you don't like (i.e. HOUSEWORK! LOL) still prepares a child for life.

HUGS!

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 5:59 pm
by my3sons
mamanlait- This may seem silly, but I have to say that my 11 yo doesn't like to have to "talk about" what he's going to do, what order he's going to do it in, and what I am going to expect from him. The truth is, he wants to get busy, without wasting any time figuring out a new approach each day. I really noticed when he turned 10 yo that he was kind of annoyed when I "hovered" over him as he did his independent/semi-independent work, and he also was frustrated when I interrupted his work with corrections/editing type fixing things. :?

When my ds turned 10 yo, he started wanting more independence. He wanted more control over his day, but he didn't want to hash it out with ME each day. So, what worked well for him was to let him know I was alright with him having some say so in some things, but in other things, I'd expect a routine. For example, I let him know that if he wanted to get up early to do his RTR Bible Quiet Time last year, he could do that, as he is an early morning riser and that activity is independent. He loved that so much that he asked if he could also do Science Exploration earlier in the morning than the rest of us do school, and that worked out well too. :D The rest of his work I gave him a routine order to do his work in, and I planned 2 teacher block times. I started out with him when I began homeschooling for the day, so that was one of my teacher block times he knew he'd have each day. Then he finished out some semi-independent and independent work and handed these things in to me, open to what needed to be corrected on the counter. I checked them for errors, and I set them on the table for him to fix sometime before the next teaching block time. I then discussed anything I needed to from his previous work during the second teaching block time, helped him fix anything he still needed help with, and then finished out the rest of my teaching time with him. He then finished out the rest of his work independently, handed it in, and I quickly checked any few remaining things he'd just handed in, had him fix them, and he was then done. He liked knowing when he was with me, when he was on his own, and that I would not be interrupting his train of thought with corrections. :D

Here's a link to the schedule that worked with with my ds last year for RTR, in case it may be helpful in any way...
Image Image

HOD is about the most "fun" way to learn I've encountered. I think with a few changes, your dd will be back on track. :) HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:31 am
by mamanlait
Thank you, Ladies!
I think I got the pick-me-up I needed. Hubby is gone for several months and that's feeding into my anxiety about having an unhappy schooler. God has really given me a lot of peace about his time away and I've really seen His love and protection covering my family but my homeschool is vulnerable right now simply because we've recently moved from the country into a neighborhood (in a new state) that has a great school system (happy neighbor kids talking about school) and I'm surrounded by kind school teachers who have an unspoken goal of encouraging my family to enroll the kids. :D This is not an option for us, as we see public schooling a Godless alternative (academically speaking). However, Satan loves to sneak in through those vulnerable spots and lay down his strongholds, provide doubts and insecurities that would otherwise not even enter my mind. I think homeschoolers can also be vulnerable when they don't have any local support structure. Since we just moved, I haven't been able to plug in locally. I'm just thankful to have you ladies to encourage me today when I was feeling discouraged.

I agree that dd would probably have a poor attitude about school irregardless of the curriculum. I love HOD, it keeps me on track, it provides an outstanding education. I love it! I just want to keep my household happily moving forward. Thank you for your ideas and encouragement! I'd love to know more about the store at the end of the week for incentives (Rebecca, can you tell me how that works in your home, please). Julie, I haven't considered the idea of expecting her to follow a schedule as being a freeing experience. But if I think about it in terms of expectations that she should follow (boundaries, if you will), I can see that those time slots can provide a smoothness to my day and a clear set of expectations from another direction. My train of thought was that she was old enough to move along at a decent pace without one but, obviously, that's not working. :D Thank you for sharing yours. Let me give a schedule a try.

I feel so very encouraged.
Amy

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:47 am
by Tree House Academy
Julie...HOW in the world did Wyatt finish all RTR work in just 2 hours????????? Please tell me I am reading that wrong! :shock: Bryce takes usually 4-5 hours even with CTC and that is when he is on a roll!!!! EEP!

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:20 pm
by momakhomeschool
I ,too, would love to hear more about the school store. Please. :D

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:50 pm
by holdinon
Tree House Academy wrote:Julie...HOW in the world did Wyatt finish all RTR work in just 2 hours????????? Please tell me I am reading that wrong! :shock: Bryce takes usually 4-5 hours even with CTC and that is when he is on a roll!!!! EEP!
I couldn't get to Julie's schedule (I'm on my phone), but my DD12 took 4-5 hours on CTC as well. So you are not alone :wink:
Angie

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 1:39 pm
by my3sons
Tree House Academy wrote:Julie...HOW in the world did Wyatt finish all RTR work in just 2 hours????????? Please tell me I am reading that wrong! :shock: Bryce takes usually 4-5 hours even with CTC and that is when he is on a roll!!!! EEP!
WOW - yeah, that would be fast! :D Once Wyatt was a few months into the school year, RTR took him about 3 1/2 hours. Here is the breakdown of the times:

6:30 – 7: Science (30 minutes)
7 – 7:15: Bible Quiet Time (15 minutes)
8:15-9: Teaching Block 1 (45 minutes)
9 – 10:15: Independent Time (75 minutes)
11 – 11:45 Teaching Block 2 (45 minutes) I checked work here too and helped him finish up – I did not get “exercise” in ever – I hope to get up early and exercise this year – wish me luck - I'll need it. :lol:

Total Time: 3 ½ hours

At the start of the school year, RTR took us about 4 hours or a little more, but the time whittled down to 3 1/2 hours after that. :D Wyatt is a great worker. It really is not anything I have done - it is more a personality trait he is blessed with. Riley takes longer to complete his guides than Wyatt did, but Riley's work is more creative and more detail oriented. I have seen Bryce's work - and WOW! Everything he does looks picture perfect. I think he'd fall into the category of a child who does the utmost on his assignments. That is an excellent quality! Taking 4 1/2 hours to do CTC (at first especially), is absolutely fine, especially for the work Bryce is doing. :wink: HTH!

In Christ,
Julie

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:54 pm
by Tree House Academy
Bryce just started RTR and it is taking him between 3 and 5 hours each day (depending on the assignments...the narrations take him longer because he puts them off and then gets upset when he has to write them over if they aren't nice enough to go in his notebook!). We finished CTC in the spring, but I never remember it taking less than 4.5 hours except on a very rare occasion here or there. Sounds like Wyatt is a very school driven personality! That is wonderful! Bryce is diligent and likes to do well, but sometimes he also focuses more on getting something done FAST rather than well and I always make him go back and re-do. I hope one day that changes the behavior for him! It would be a bad thing in a work environment, that is for sure!

School Store:

we have done a lot of variations on it over the years, but here is the latest:

Each child starts the week with $2 (not real money...a figure on paper). There are behavior and work related rules posted (just so they can't say, "I didn't know that!") and any time a rule is broken, I take 5 cents away from their total (again, on paper). At the end of the school week, I add up any of the subtractions I have made throughout the week and subtract it from their $2 total. The remainder is what they have to spend in the school store (stocked with candy, small toys, etc). Good candy (movie theatre box size) costs $2. Then the toys/candy prices go down from there. Both of my kids enjoy the school store and refuse to let me stop it even though the oldest may be getting too old for it. It has worked well here for - going on 4 years now. :)

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 3:21 pm
by my3sons
Tree House Academy wrote:...We finished CTC in the spring, but I never remember it taking less than 4.5 hours except on a very rare occasion here or there...
CTC actually often took Wyatt longer each day than RTR. :D CTC was a step up in many skill areas from PHFHG. Reading all of his own history, doing more difficult science, learning to navigate the History Student Notebook, and learning to independently write written narrations of greater length all took Wyatt more time in CTC. R & S English 4 also took more time than R & S English 3, as did "Write with the Best" than PHFHG's creative writing lessons. All of these skills were more familiar and required less training after completing CTC and beginning RTR.

I also read CTC's Storytime out loud to Wyatt, whereas in RTR he read it on his own, which added time to CTC. :D I think of CTC through Modern Times as being in a different "bracket" of learning. I think of LHTH through Beyond Little Hearts as a bracket of learning, BHFHG and PHFHG as another bracket up, and CTC through Modern times as still another bracket up. :D This is my own opinion, from having taught through the guides thus far, but at the start of each new "bracket", there is more of a training phase that takes more time. However, after the training phase is done, the next years reap the benefits of it over and over. :)

Wyatt wrote directly in his Student Notebook, and then I just put any corrections he needed to do on a sticky note attached to the notebook. He just fixed the few words or punctuation marks he needed to then. :D We did the same for the Medieval Writing lessons, R & S English lessons, math lessons, etc. So, he never rewrote things and the time corrections took was kept to a minimum, which we both liked. :D I'm not sure how Bryce is doing corrections, but if he is rewriting things in their entirety, jotting things that need to be fixed on a sticky note or in the margins would probably cut down on the time it takes for him to fix things - though I've always thought his work looks awesome - I love seeing it on the Weekly Check-In's! :D Anyway, those are just some random thoughts that may or may not be helpful on the time it takes to do the guides from year to year. :D

In Christ,
Julie

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:08 pm
by Tree House Academy
I probably push a little too hard, Julie, to be honest. :( My degree is in English and writing always came naturally to me...as did spelling. My son is about the exact opposite! I have him write his narrations on white paper first. Then I help him make corrections and he re-writes it in his notebooking pages. I like him practicing the "rough draft" to "final draft" because I can't even begin to tell you how many "drafts" it took me to write the stuff I did in college and especially the few things I wrote professionally before ending my career to homeschool. But I do realize he is 12 and also will likely NOT be an English major in college. This is something I struggle with myself on because I know I push...sometimes too much. I almost expect "perfection" at times - I dont' expect every problem to be correct or every word to be spelled correctly...but I do expect there to be a good effort given and no huge, gross mistakes before he hands me something.

All in all, I don't mind the 4-5 hours...it just starts to bother me when it takes ALL DAY LONG for him to finish (usually because we are BOTH being stubborn! LOL).

This year, I tried hard to have him read the story time to himself...but he started Forbidden Gates and said, "mom! You have to read this." I then spent the next 20 minutes reading about half the book because it was so good! The selections are so great, I honestly hate to miss them myself!!! I think I need to go back to school and use HOD this time around!! HAHA

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:49 am
by mamanlait
Just wanted to follow-up to say that we have implemented the schedule into our day plus added some incentives. All ready I've noticed a difference. Thank you for the helpful posts.
Amy

Re: How do you approach HOD with your 10 y.o. child?

Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:45 pm
by Mom of Three
Thank you for the honest accounts of kids who are reluctant learners.

This year I have to find an incentive for dd to do her work.
I have never found a consequence that she really cares about, but positive incentives sometimes work. Sometimes.