Ladies,
As I'm reading through this thread, there are a few things that really struck me. So, I'll share what I've learned from working with hundreds of students in the past and also from having 4 boys of my own.
First of all, most boys as a general rule like to finish things in short order.
They do not like things to be embellished or to go on longer than anticipated. So, with this in mind, I do not add a lot of my own commentary to the guide, I do not ask questions unless the guide has questions, etc. I do exactly what is in each box of the plans and move on. This makes the day flow quickly and keeps my son from feeling like he is on a quiz show. There are so many more skills that we are focusing upon in our guides than simply listening skills. So, if you make every assignment a listening test, most kiddos and many adults, will not do well. Each box of the left side of Beyond should be short. You should move through the whole left side in about 35 min. This is not a taxing amount of time for kiddos to work!
Next, most boys want to be actively doing something, rather than seeing education as something done to them.
With this in mind, beginning already with Beyond, I start having my boys read from and look at the Teacher's Guide. I have them begin by looking over what books are needed for the left side of the plans and setting those out to get ready for me. I have them get their CD ready, find their Scripture in the Bible, get out any needed supplies if possible etc. I have them begin reading and following directions next. I do not allow this to draw out the plans though, but rather help them get any preparation done as quickly as possible. This makes them an active participant in their day, rather than waiting to have information poured into them.
Another thing to remember is that most students need to see as well as hear their material.
So, when I am reading, I have my kiddos right beside me following along in the book, holding the book with me. This is so important, because very few learners are actually auditory. So, seeing what I am reading is a huge help in keeping them engaged. It is also so important not to stop and explain things as you go. Instead, just keep on reading! Don't stop to explain key words or give a bit of your thoughts. This actually interrupts the flow of the story.
Unless your child has some sort of learning difficulty, I also would require the child to sit next to you and just listen and follow along. The child who does better listening while doing something else is usually the exception not the rule. Many kiddos are just the reverse, where doing something with their hands while reading actually distracts them. We're seeking to from the habit of attention. Remember not one size fits all in this area!
One other dawning that I had the longer I taught is that boys especially will often not "love" school like girls so often do.
They will probably not be overjoyed with each special activity, nor will they gush about how much they are looking forward to school or school activities. They will instead do what is asked and required, and often not a lot more in the school area, unless they are inspired (which happens off and on, but should not be expected with each activity no matter what you do)!
So, armed with this knowledge, it is good to remember that adding to activities or making them go on longer than required, actually adds to boys' feelings of frustration.
They truly just want to complete the task!
Think how you would feel if every time you were about to complete a task, someone stopped you to quiz you on how well you remember each step of your task or wanted to stop you and show you how to do it better. How frustrated would you be to never be able to just finish the task in a timely fashion!?! Much of life is task completion, so there is nothing wrong with teaching the skill of getting it done. Yet, through the process of the HOD guides, my boys have also learned how to learn, and they find great joy in that. They use their knowledge of how to learn to seek information, make their own projects, and reason through their own answers.
If you think about it, most little girls will often play "school" or play being the "teacher", but boys rarely do unless they have an older sister. No matter how much "fun" you make school, it is still seen as an interruption to their play, and they will almost always prefer play and pursuing their own interests. So, for my boys, having a routine schedule that they work through every day to get done with school, without any embellishing or bunny trails by me does wonders for their attitudes!
They also dislike waiting on me, as it eats up their time. So, I am ready and available during the school time to help them get done on time! I do not keep them waiting on me!
This may make you sad at first, and make you think that it doesn't matter what you do for school for them then, but in my mind I love knowing my boys are receiving a wonderfully rich living books education and still getting done in a timely fashion. So, we both win! And, secretly my boys remember much more than they would with textbooks, so I am doubly blessed! They actually incorporate what they've studied in school all throughout their day, often without even knowing they're doing it. It is just flows into their daily lives.
Next, another point to really ponder is whether words like 'hating school' or words that show a poor attitude are acceptable at your house. We do not allow this kind of talk at our house, nor did I allow this type of attitude or talk in my classroom, as it fosters a habit that lingers long after the emotion is really there.
This is because another important thing to know about boys, and all children in general, is if they think that their bad attitude will allow them to get out of doing something... they will pull out the bad attitude as often as possible.
For this reason, I do not allow my boys to skip anything in the guide ever! I learned in my early years that even if I skipped something only once, we would debate skipping it every time after that for quite some time to come.
If there is no habit of skipping, then the work will be completed without discussion.
For example, the poetry was mentioned several times in this thread. I agree that poetry takes some time to learn to enjoy, especially if it is a new skill. But, it's important to ponder how long does doing the poetry really take? At my house, it takes around 5-6 minutes at the most. By skipping it, you send the message to your child that some things are skippable, and the child automatically wonders if he/she acts disinterested enough, how many other things might be skippable too? This becomes more and more of a power play the more you skip. So, I would encourage you to do what is in the guide without discussion or putting too much stock into how the child reacts. Simply move through it quickly and move on without the quiz show! You will be surprised over the years, how the power play of what needs to be done each day is then actually removed. My children never ask me whether they must complete a certain something or not. We do not debate, and much time is saved this way every day!
At our house, we require our boys to do their work with a willing heart and a cheerful spirit.
If they are whining or complaining, we send them to stand in the corner, facing the corner, and tell them they may come out when their attitude is fixed. If they come out of the corner and are still in a bad mood, they go right back. Often, we will pray about the attitude, and then move on.
We do not allow attitudes to slow down our day, but rather they are dealt with right away. One thing we've discovered is that if we allow this habit to form, then it will continue to grow and become harder to overcome as the child gets older. So, now is the time to stop allowing any complaining or whining in relation to school. Deal with it as soon as it happens. Otherwise, the truth is that complaining and whining will follow you no matter what curriculum you use, as soon as the "new" wears off. So often it isn't the curriculum, but rather the habits of the child that need work.
Last, I will mention that the attitude of the parent transfers to the child both in word and deed.
I would encourage any of you who have children who do not love school to take care in the words you use to characterize your child's feelings. So often, if we use the words "hates school" the child either hears us say it, sees us write it, or notices it reflected in our voice, our mannerisms, or our actions. It is being passed on to the child, and the child is more than willing to act just as characterized. Change often starts with us and our attitudes.
I'll give you an example of this that really convicted me. My older sister's first-born daughter was very strong-willed. As all strong-willed children, she was quite difficult at times. My sister said that whenever someone at church, or other places, mentioned something about this daughter (even if it was good), my sister would say, "She's just so strong-willed, or difficult, and we're really working on that." She said she finally realized that she was giving everyone else the impression that her daughter was strong-willed and difficult, even when they may have never thought it themselves! I realized I was doing the same thing with my oldest son. I was telling others he was strong-willed, difficult, obstinate, etc. Often, he was within in ear-shot!
I have made a concentrated effort to no longer say these types of things about my boys, even if they are true! Instead, I try to focus on the positive, and it makes a huge difference in how they act!
It's important to remember that our children will become what we say about them. Remember that God called Gideon a mighty warrior when Gideon was threshing wheat in the dark in fear. God's words encouraged Gideon to become the man God wanted him to be. We need to use our words to encourage our boys to be what we want them to be too!
Blessings,
Carrie