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This will be my family's first year of homeschooling. We haven't begun yet, but I'm anticipating discipline problems since Mom is the teacher. How did you all handle this with your own children when you first started? When we begin, my kids will be 11 (girl), 9 (boy), and 7 (boy).

Thanks for all your advice and tips in advance!

Well it depends on what it is. Sometimes i make them copy lines if they are sassy. If their work is sloppy they rewrite it. If they are just balking at the work however, we put it aside and they do it on their own after we finish everything else. Otherwise, our day would never get done. Sometimes my oldest needs to take his stuff and go to his room to do it in private.

I first homeschooled my oldest dd in K and had this problem...to the extent that I eventually decided it was best to send the kids to ps . When God led us to bring them back home2 years later, the first thing that He showed me, that for me made this issue clearer is just simply to avoid seeing my role as Mom/Teacher and begin to see it as just simply Mom! Just as I've been responsible to teach them to walk and talk and to use their manners (well, still working on that one!), etc. I now am responsible to teach them reading, math, history... If I can avoid feeling like I have to wear a separate "school hat" and "regular life hat" for some reason that clears up issues for me. Any discipline issues that come up in the course of schooling need to be handled as I would handle them otherwise.

I think the bigger trick during this first year back to homeschooling has been determining whether things are a discipline issue, or a learning block. Do I need to spank or correct for something, or exercise patience and present the concept in a different way that they'll understand better?

*Edited to say: I realized mom23 and I were responding at the same time. I just repeated basically what she just said

Welcome to HOD (and homeschooling in general)!

Long story short, we treat "school time" discipline in the same way we treat it any other time. The kids are expected to be respectful and obedient with a servant's heart. If they are not, then we deal with it the same way, regardless of the activity we were participating in at the time--whether that be playing a game with siblings or doing math.

Now, that being said.....we have homeschooled from the very beginning. So my kids have known nothing else besides schooling as just part of family living. Especially with your oldest, I would expect there to be a period of adjustment. I know several people who have brought kids home and seemed to adjust with no trouble at all. Others, survived through lots of prayer and diligence.

Change is difficult for all of us. For the children (who may not understand what God is calling their parents to), they can just feel like they are simply being taken away from their friends. I don't know if that is the case here. But I pray your family will have a smooth transition.

Just hang in there, and it will all be worth it in the end!
Angie

Amy,

I handle it just like the previous 2 posters. We discipline the same whether it's during school or not. You will be getting a lot more time with your kids! So, it may seem at times like you're having A LOT of opportunities for discipline. Ours seem to come in spurts here. And, while you may be thinking that your kids wouldn't be acting this way for you if you weren't homeschooling...you have to remember that they'd most likely just be acting that way for someone else. So, God is giving you the opportunity to have this TIME with your kids to train their character towards godliness. You have so much more time to be able to train their little hearts. So it's a good thing. (I'm giving you the speech that I give myself when our "spurts" of opportunity arises. )

Kathleen

When I first brought my dd home, it was a novel experience for her as well as me. She was excited about being homeschooled, and it felt strange for us both for her not to go to school. She loved that she could ride her bike on "recess". However, after a few weeks, the novelty wears off. At the time my dd was 8. She began to complain about the work here and there. She began to test limits. My husband and I basically just told her that she was going to have school work, whether it was in a school setting or on our couch. I agree with the other posters that talked about disciplining and training as mom, and not as teacher. It's really not a far stretch. We are teaching our children from their births anyway. Make sure that the children know what is expected of them. It'll take a bit of time for everyone to adjust to the "newness" of it all. What I have found, over the last few years, is that when it came to discipline and training my children, I was able to deal with the heart of many issues that wouldn't have been dealt with as quickly if at all if my child left for school every day. Attitudes and work habits came to my attention pretty quickly, both in my dd and in me. There are challenges, but I have seen that, with perseverance and prayer, God has blessed our lives through homeschooling. I pray that you grow to love teaching your children. God Bless!

Welcome to the board and to the world of homeschooling! It is a wonderful journey, full of ups and downs, but, hey, that is all of life isn't it? I would just remember you are training them and disciplining them for the attitudes behind the behavior. You are "shepherding their hearts." A great book on this subject is Ted Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart." I think you would enjoy reading this. Excellent book.

I also began homeschooling again this year after my sons had been in a private Christian school the last 2 years. It was a transition period being back home, and someone wisely told me to focus MORE on character training and RE-bonding with my sons this year and not as much on the academics. (not that we didn't do them, it just wasn't my main focus. He had an easier year academically but really felt great about all he did, so that was good ). If you have a strong-willed child in the mix, it is even more difficult (this would be my first-born and slightly less my youngest too) but it is so worth it. You might want to also read James Dobson's book "The Strong-Willed Child." Very good information and helpful. It can be a daily battle with these types of children (I know because I am one! ) so don't think you are alone if it gets a bit rough. Just let him know that YOU ARE in AUTHORITY. Sometimes, I feel like a drill sergeant with my oldest, and I used to resent this. But now, I just realize that this is what he responds best to...strong AUTHORITY. And he loves me even MORE for it. Amazing! I am not talking about screaming angrily and barking out orders, which I have done a fair share of in the past) but a FIRM but LOVING demeanor. And you HAVE to follow through with ACTION each and every time.

God will give you the grace to do this, He really will. I just stay on my knees a lot, and it is so amazing what happens. But whenever I begin to feel self-sufficient again, watch out! I fall flat on my face! So be encouraged, this is an exciting new journey and adventure for you! Just focus on their hearts and loving on them and reading aloud with them and doing fun things together. They will love it and eventually will come around to it more and more. But, do read the first book that I recommended, most definitely. This will help give you the confidence you need and will strengthen your resolve to go for the long haul...one day at a time!

Here to talk anytime with you about any questions you may have further or more specific. Just PM me. I am no "expert" or veteran homeschooler, but I have 2 strong-willed children (oldest and youngest) so I know how to fall on my face in prayer and receive His Wisdom when I have none of my own! Blessings!

Such good advice here already! A few things that have helped me with discipline are giving clear expectations in the form of a schedule, and being consistent in following through on what I have planned and what I have said. We start school the same time each day, and we try to finish around the same time. This alleviates me descending upon their free time and saying, "Okay, now I want to start school". Work is not negotiable - if it is in the guide, it gets done 100%. This alleviates dc trying to get out of work if they've been allowed to skip things. If dc are having an attitude with me, I have them take 5 minutes in their room to change their attitude, and I change mine as well. This calms us both down, and then we pray about it together.

I have found dc's work is only as good as my diligence in correcting it. If I fall down on keeping up with my correcting, they fall down in doing their best. Likewise, if I fall down on my teaching, they fall down in their independent work. An encouraging, cheerful attitude on my part goes a long way to help my dc have an encouraging, cheerful attitude. This is the atmosphere of learning I want in my home, so I try even if I am not feeling the best or am tired because I was up during the night with one of my dc to be happy, to still show that I am very glad on even the most difficult days to be homeschooling them. Saying sincerely things like, "I'm so glad I get to be your teacher, isn't God good to make that something we get to do?" Or, "Today is going to be a beautiful day!" Or, "I can't wait to find out what's going to happen next in our Storytime book today!" Or, "You are one of my favorite people to be with - do you know that? I love you honey!" all go a long way to fill dc's emotional tanks and get them off on a good foot attitude-wise for school each day.

The more routine things can be the better. This reduces the need to "talk about everything". For example, it's helpful if each child knows where he is to work, when he is to work with me and when he is to work independently. It helps if each child has his own set of basic art supplies that are mobile too. It also helps if each child knows where to hand in his work. This alleviates all of these types of questions "I wanted to sit there!... He took my glue... Where's the scissors?... He left all his stuff all over the table... Why is Riley's book with my stuff?... etc. Each of our dc has 2 plastic tubs, one for current homeschool books we are using and one for the books we'll need for the rest of the year. They are responsible for getting things out and putting them back within their tubs.

Having realistic expectations helps me homeschool more happily through the rough patches. Dc are not going to like everything we do. There are things that are not going to be their primary interests or their perfect learning style. As engaging and interesting as HOD makes school, it will still be work for both us as moms and our dc. Expecting dc to love everything is just not realistic. Work in life is not always fun, in fact, often it is not. Trying to cater to our dc's whims just turns out dc that are quite self-centered and expecting everything to be easy and interesting for them. I actually look at things that are less of an interest or more of a challenge for our dc as the best time to do some character training. Perseverance, diligence, choosing a cheerful attitude - all of these character traits can be honed in these situations. One other thing I've learned - as much as we love homeschooling - neither my dc nor I want it to take all day. I do not add, elongate, or elaborate on the HOD plans. We clip along and enjoy our time very much, but when we are done we feel a sense of joy and accomplishment and appreciate how homeschooling in this manner helps us have time to do other things with our day too.

As your dc are coming from a ps setting, I think I'd not allow comments such as "My other teacher didn't do it this way". It seems like that's a common comment from dc coming home to be homeschooled. A good response to this right away may be something like, "I'm your teacher now, and this is the way I do it. You would have had a different teacher this year in ps anyway, and he or she wouldn't have been just like last year's teacher either. Please do not make that comment again, or I will need to give you a consequence." This establishes your authority right away. HTH - but I think you're going to do just fine, and your dc are so blessed you are going to homeschool them! They may not thank us now, but I think they will someday.

In Christ,
Julie

Having a good level of discipline and obedience in your family life in general will be a HUGE boost to your transition to homeschooling. If you feel things are not up to par, by all means take some time to get child training and bonding/rapport in place before you start! Being a happy, "confident-in-your-authority" mom is excellent advice.

You may find doing a "loop schedule" helpful when you first start schooling. Basically it is just picking up where you left off (without stressing out about it) IF you are not able to get that day's work done. Your children will learn that skipping boxes will not happen even if they give you a rough time or drag out their work. Eventually you all will get into a groove with your guides and your days will get easier and faster!

Blessings on your first year!

Welcome to homeschooling! I think there are many different ways to handle discipline and you will have to find what works for you. Here is what works for us...

I have a high functioning autistic daughter so we do have days where things are off and she is not in the mood for school. She can really engage me in power struggles and I do not want to be drawn into those battles and wreck the whole day so my response EVERY time (to avoid unpredictability and the power struggle) is simply "go to your room and come out when you are ready for school." And like in the real world there is no recreation until her work is done. That means no computer, no TV, no DS, no ipod--nothing. However, the sooner she finishes her responsibilities the sooner she can have her leisure time.

Now I will say that there are some days that she stays in there for 2 hours by herself doing nothing but reading and that is fine by me. I can school my little one with no intereference. I will go up later and check on her and we can talk when she is calm and she can say I was just really tired and needed some extra sleep or time by myself. I will then remind her that schooling is her job right now and that she is doing nothing else until the school work is done and that I'd really like her to be able to join us in whatever it is I had planned for the afternoon. She usually then goes downstairs and we start working together.

My younger one is more likely to have tantrums because she is a perfectionist and get frusturated because she isn't getting something or she can't do something perfectly. With her I simply put her on the stairs to pull herself together for 5 minutes before we proceed to the next item. If she is really out of control I send her to her room as above but that is really rare.

Honestly, we don't have that many school issues. I do have to repeat to the girls, "School is not optional." Horsebackriding, drama class, cooking, all of that is. But school is not. And if school is not done, we will not do anything else. Just like Daddy doesn't get to come home and relax until his work is done, the girls don't get their time off until their work is done.

Jennifer
mom to 11 & 8.5 year old girls