OT-chores

[holyhart]

I need help! My children have chores, but something isn't working. The house is more often than not in chaos. I can't stand the mess, even worse, I can't stand how I react to the house being a mess.

I am reading a book called "Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit" (Maxwell) and one of the things she said really struck a chord with me. She said "As we study a list of meek and quiet spirit robbers, I think they fall into three main categories: fear, disorganization, and anger. Each of these is the opposite of a meek and quiet spirit. These negative characteristics keep us from teaching (and loving) our children as we so greatly desire." (bold and underlined is from me)

I really think disorganization is a HUGE problem for me. And it ends up leading me into anger.

And I'm not sure how to fix it. I've been praying about it and feel that I need to be more disciplined in how chores are done in my home but not entirely sure how to do this. Currently it feels like we do a few chores in the morning (kiddos all wake up around 6:30...if someone has any tricks for getting them to sleep in a little later...I would love that too! They aren't allowed to come downstairs that early though, that's my coffee time with Jesus, they can play quietly upstairs and must do some room chores), eat breakfast, start school, which lasts us from about 9-ish until about 1pm or so IF there are not to many "life circumstances" happening (with a toddler and now moving baby there do tend to be lots so sometimes it is even latter, and that is if we get started on time!!! ), lunch, nap/rest/quiet time, kids play for a bit while I make dinner, eat dinner, clean up from dinner, tubbies if it's a bath night, bed time routine, put the littlest two to bed, read to the older two whle they color to settle down, put them to bed. By this time the house is generally a wreck. I'm exhausted. Manage to do some damage control before hubby gets home, but generally the house is still a wreck.

So what I’m wondering is what do you all use to implement chores? I have a schedule that I’ve made up, but so often I’m busy just trying to get through our day or putting out “fires” that my schedule doesn’t get done. I’ve tried very detailed schedules and just routines. I get stressed from the very detailed schedules because life happens and we end up “late” on things or things fall to the wayside in a general routine that need to be done.

I’ve made a chore chart for the older two kiddos but it doesn’t seem to help keep the house cleaned.

I’m not sure exactly what I’m doing wrong. I would love to hear your ideas on how to keep your home running smoothly and how you manage chores. Do you use chore charts? Chore packs? What chores are appropriate for each age of child? How much time should given chores take? My kiddos are on the younger side (just turned 8, 5, 2 and infant) so while I want to teach them responsibility, I don’t want to overwhelm them and take away all their play time either. Where do I find balance?

I know there are countless books out there on the subject of chores and schedules, but I
1. have limited funds (I don’t mind getting a book, but don’t want to get one that won’t be a good fit and have wasted the $), and
2. Like having/seeing real people’s suggestions

Please help!!! I need to be able to get everything done in a way that keeps me (and the family/house) peaceful, but is easy and won’t take us all day. I want to be able to enjoy my kiddos and not feel stressed about the seemingly constant mess.

[my3luvs]

I have found I am the queen of clutter and disorganization. My house is a wreck, it reflects in my attitude as well as my over-all demenor. My children also loath to do anything and are very disorganized as well.

I am slowly fixing this. We are spending this summer on these issues. I am re-training them and we are doing it together. I have spent this week alone working on ONE room. I have gotten rid of so much stuff and I feel a lot better. I have also noticed in that one room since there is minimal stuff it is kept cleaner and neater. And clean up is now a snap, it can be done quickly and efficiently.

Im not sure if this is helpful at all to you. BUT it's one of the areas in my life and family life that we are currently improving.

[Mercy]

Hi,

I have been known in the family for being "the organized one" and then, in seasons of life like this last one, "the messy, cluttered one!" Slowly (much, much slower than I want!!) I am beginning to clear my head and home and it feels sssoooo goooood!! Having HOD has blessed me so much in this area, since I can worry about other things outside of school now. Heart Of Dakota has helped to balance my life. That is a huge, huge blessing!

I have the type of personality that will "over organize" to the point that it is unreasonable. I have a few things that have stood the test though. You are soo wise to realize it is important to have the kids be part of the solution! It seems I always forget that and find myself overworked and overwhelmed. Lol!

The one thing that really makes a difference in our home is when we are faithful to our table chores. Assign a part to ea child to do - clearing table, rinsing dishes, empting and loading dishwasher, floor pick up, etc. This should help keep the kitchen sparkling.

We also assign a room per person (I have a lil helper too). Set the timer before we start our day, before lunch and before Daddy gets home and little by little it starts looking nicer and nicer. The hard part is being faithful to get into the routine. I always expect a miracle when we "get serious" about doing chores, but the truth is - it is HARD for awhile. Not only do I realize there is a layer we have to work through (that lessons in time), but also our attitudes need to be put in
check again. Eventually there is less arguing, complaining..once it is more of a habit. But, in the meantime, it is a good time to learn to work "as unto the Lord."

I am sure others have better ideas, but this is what has worked over here.

Mercy

[Mercy]

Wanted to mention also that getting rid of clutter makes a HUGE difference in keeping the house together too. We have been ruthless getting rid of things that we dont use. We picked a defined space and only chose what would fit - if it doesnt fit, it doesnt stay.

By the way, I own the Meek and Quiet book and it seems everyone has been mentioning it around me lately...I think its time for me to take it out and read it again! Lol! I also own the chore packs. I started to put them together lately and hopefully we will start using them. I dont know though, they just seem like they are going to get lost. If you dont mind your kids online, I have heard of a good site called myjobchart.com

Edited to put correct website up.

[doubleportion]

Julie has some great organization ideas on many things including chores on her blog http://my3sons-julie.blogspot.com/2011/ ... harts.html

HTH
Edie

[Mom2Monkeys]

I posted a few things on my blog. http://www.thomasschooldays.blogspot.com
It's recent so should be near the top. I plan to add more soon. Can't direct link from my phone too easily. Sorry.

I have an iPhone and downloaded the Motivated Moms app. There's also a downloadable version you can print. VERY HELPFUL!!! For dealing with my kids (hearts, behavior, lazies....) I am using 3 main things...

1) Wise Words for Mom heart probing chart to help you train your children from the inside out. Not just change behavior for the moment.
2) http://www.wechoosevirtues.com flashcards and poster (promo code Tamara and family to save $8 off each- love it so much I am doing a referral incentive program). AMAZING help to curb the sinful nature throughout the day, set the house rules based on God's Word, and wonderful to help kids know and understand exactly what is expected of them. Makes great conversation with them as well. And is so super simple and not time consuming at all!!
3) Creative Correction. Love this book!! Awesome ideas that have been super effective discipline bc it really TEACHES and is MEMORABLE! (and sometimes is entertaining and laughable bc it's just so wonderfully creative!) Look on my blog near the picture of the 4 clocks in a recent post for a link to it.

These things are really helping me get the kids and house in line. My kids have chores but are lazy about doing it. We are really working on Diligence as our virtue in focus from our We Choose Virtues. I'm trying to have one day a week right now of major cleaning since every other day of the week seems to not go as planned. It's helping. And I agree. When my house isn't in order, my attitude toward my kids suffers...and it's a snowball effect.

[Mom2Monkeys]

Another book I love!! The House That Cleans Itself. It really gave wonderful, doable, practical advice to get things fixed up around the house to fit our lifestyle instead of having to break tons of bad habits first (like leaving clothes on the bathroom floor, mail in kitchen,...etc) It helped me come up with ideas to fix those things NOW.

[flydena]

This is a struggle for me, too! We, as homeschool moms, just have ALOT on our plates, and the home often is what suffers...which does cause negative attitudes. I'm right there with you. I am also taking the summer to work on Habit Training/Character Building. My focus right now is to Do Your Best in ALL Things. Including the minimal amount of schoolwork we are doing right now and chores.

We also do room rotations for our MAIN room areas....Living Room, Dining Room, Bathroom, Hall/Entry (the Kitchen is MY room, as it gets the messiest the quickest). We spend like 10 minutes going to each of these rooms picking up our individual items. Then, one child will have the Dining Room & Entry/Hall and the other has the Living Room & Bathroom. I have taught them (as a school lesson, basically) how to properly clean each area, and they are to work on picking up and cleaning it. This is After breakfast, and Before School. As this rotation has improved some, I've added Special Projects. This is things like cleaning/organizing the Play Room, Going through their drawers and getting rid of stained clothing as well as items they've outgrown, etc. (Basically EXTRA chores that we don't necessarily have time to do during our regular school year). We do the Special Projects for only 15 to 30 minutes a day After school (so early afternoon). Then, after all these things are done, they get FREE time the rest of the day!

I have Homeschooling with a Meek & Quiet Spirit as well, but it's been a long time since I've read it. I've tried chore charts, but charts just don't work for me because I am never consistant enough with them.

I actually LOVE Flylady and have used her routines to help me develop consistant habits for myself, and when I do better myself, I find my children also do better. I also read The House That Cleans Itself not long ago, and REALLY liked it. It helps you get creative about what will work for your individual family.

I do think that I will check out some of the links/blog posts from this thread, though, as I'm always looking for new things to try!

I absolutely agree that getting rid of the clutter is a must! Two of Flylady's quotes that I love are: "You can't organize clutter." And, "Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family."

Dena

[countrymom]

I have a 4 1/2 and 6 yr old and chores they do include laundry (matching socks and folding rags younger, folding the rest older), setting the table, clearing the table, dust, and pick up toys. I plan to get them going on washing dishes and loading the dishwasher as well. My older also vacuumed for me this past winter (my busy time of year), but I did pay him a little for that. I told him that when he was older that would be a regular chore and he would not get paid anymore. I agree finding balance is good, and what we are doing seems to be about right. I am not good with schedules, but I have found if I have deadlines around important events (like meals), it seems to work best. You could also try to incorporate a little (like cleaning up rooms, etc) into your schooling schedule so that one child is doing a chore while you are working with another child.

[MomtoJGJE]

You will find that if you start teaching your older one how to do "big" chores now, that the younger ones will pick it up earlier and earlier!

WIth that said, I am horrible about staying on a schedule or sticking with any one thing.... but the house is pretty decent, so I'll tell you all the things we do

We have started a thing where IF we tell them to pick up stuff before bed, and anything is still in the floor it gets put away and they have to buy it back in some way. This helps things be tidy before bed.

Randomly I'll assign a child per room downstairs and they tidy it (toys, dishes, clothes, garbage) Evie goes around helping all of them and when one gets done they go help the youngest one still working. This takes about 10 minutes total.

I'll have a quick pick up if they want a treat... Depending on how bad it is They will each have to pick up either their age of things or 10 things each.

We'll play evil step mother and they'll do what I command or we'll play mother may I, where I throw in the occasional no you may not!

And the biggest thing is our chore cards... I listed each room in our house along with empty dishwasher, feed dogs, dust, wash windows, and laundry. They each pick 3 random cards, and choose the order they want to do what they picked. We also do kid of the day, and that kid either gets to choose one thing that they want to do or choose to trade one card, not both. If something doesn't need cleaning I'll take that card out for that day. Or if I've already done the job. All three big girls (4.5, 6, and can do the chores by themselves, and have been able to for at least a year now. Evie can do a lot of them, but just needs someone with her to keep her on track. I found that if you do these chores every day, one day where a 2yo is doing all the work herself doesn't hinder keeping the home tidy.

Also, I make sure before I sit down to relax after the kids are in bed that the floors downstairs are picked up, the dishes are in the dishwasher and running if need be, the last load of laundry for the day is in the dryer, a new load is put in the washer to wash the next day, and I've swept and mopped (if needed, spot mopping every day)

I've also found out that the more I let all the kids do, the less of a mess they make in general. Oh, and my 8yo can do laundry from start to finish, and the 6yo can do all except transferring from washer to dryer because she's too short. I will be teaching the 4.5yo this summer. All three can load, run and unload the dishwasher, and Evie is learning.... she can hand you dishes and tell you where they go, she knows what to put on the top, bottom, and silverware, she can put hte silverware away, and she knows wher eto put the soap and what button to push to start it.

Basically, I was never taught how to run a household, so I want to teach them young and let it be easy for them when they are grown.

[genia]

We too struggle to keep a clean house. I just finished reading, Life Skills for Kids (Equipping your child for the real world) by Christine M. Field. What a great book full of resources to get our family on track with household chores among many other things that our kids need to know before they become adults.
You can look for it at the library but I ended up buying it because there were so many things to underline/highlight.

[flydena]

I checked out Julie's schedule posted above, and all I can say is WOW! I'm not good at charts as I said, but a check off list that is detailed like that, I could definitely go for! However, that looks like something that had to be a work in progress for a long time! I love the idea, though, so I think I will probably try to implement some of it, then add to it as my kiddos get better and better with their routines. However, I think I need one of these for myself! It would keep ME on track much better!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I love Flylady, but the control journal was too big and bulky and I didn't like having something as big as a binder sitting on my counter or in any central location. But, a list, that I could potentially put on a clip board and hang somewhere (one for each child, and one for myself), I think that could definitely work!

I think that this coming school year might just be my MOST organized yet!

I am planning to do rolling carts with drawers as workboxes for my kid's daily schoolwork. Then, I also plan to do a File Box System that organizes each child's work into weeks. (Which will easily transfer to their daily work in the workboxes). Then, if I add the clipboard with tasks to check off, from chores to schoolwork, to extra projects...woohoo we will be set!


So love this post, and looking forward to this coming schoolyear with HOD, and all these great tips I'm getting from this board!

Dena

[Tansy]

I have found www.flylady.com to be my helper in keeping my house somewhat organized.

One thing I have been doing with my kiddos. is very simple and non nagging I bring them to where they can see the whole room. And I point their head at their mess. And ask a simple question. What do you think you should do? Theory behind it is you don't nag just show and they decide to clean it up. Then they eventually get in the habit of tidying up without you nagging or asking.. and well I must say it is working. You can't belive my astonishment to find My "messy" Daughter tidying up her desk because it looked messy. *JAW DROP!!!*

Once my kids junk is out of the room it typically needs like 3 things put away and its clean. I live in a tiny house so a room can look messy in about 5 min of usage.

I also have a checklist for the kids Kitchen chores and if its not done right they don't get paid as much allowance.

I have a check list in dry erase marker on their bathroom mirror, they have been keeping that room clean for the last 2 years.

So it can be done you can do it!

[moedertje]

So many wonderful ideas ladies, thank you

Like many Mom's have said, clutter is the main culprit and if you don't have a large home with many closets or a garage , toys and books will tend to take over your house. Not to mention all the school projects and supplies you need. If you have an old hobby like scrap-booking, that alone can make your house seem like a messy one.
I think consistency in checking up on the kids is the hardest. We get busy with our own chores or with school and forget to follow up to see if all was done in an acceptable manner or for some if the chores were done at all.

I have an 8, 6 and 4 year old and they all have chores written down so they can check them and I can check as well. They rotate chores lists every week for now. There are some other odd chores spread over the course of the week.
List 1: empty dishwasher, pick up playroom, clean off table after meals, put away laundry
List 2: Clean bedroom, set table for breakfast, clean toilets, sweep dining room after meals, put away laundry.
dd: clean bedroom, put away shoes, put away laundry, soon she will be able to help the boys empty the dishwasher and do plastics
ds 8 also feeds the chickens and gathers eggs and he has on his own initiative taken up the task of filling up empty soap dispensers without any reminding:P
I still have to remind them to finish their chores sometimes, we tried the chore packs, but they broke and got lost so the lists hangs on the wall by their name, it has been up there for months now.

My goal is to continue to de-clutter as time goes this summer and have all my HOD guides prepared as well. I will be teaching 3 this year. I will need somewhat of a guiding schedule to keep things smooth so I can rotate between Preparing, LHFHG and LHTH. I am so blessed that Carrie has set up the guides to be open and go for the times that you really don't have much planning time.

One thing I have been doing with my kiddos. is very simple and non nagging

I like your idea of NOT "nagging" at the kids. Thank you for the encouragement!

Success to all of you and do remember as we wear many hats, that we can ask our dh as well what is most important to be done in their eyes in the chore areas, so we can keep our priorities straight and when we know that house is home for our dh it helps relieve a tremendous amount of stress. We can all pray for one another during the summer that God's grace will be sufficient for us to help us conquer this area in our lives.

[my3luvs]

I just taught DD [9] how to do her own laundry. I ended up having to put sticky notes taped to the washer and dryer so she knew what to put where and how to operate.

Soooo helpful! I have not had to do her laundry in a few days now. AND she is offering to do her younger sisters and any other dirty laundry.




Now if I could just get her to keep her room neat.