heartofdakota.com

This year I have done Bigger with my Boy(turned 10 in Feb) and my Girl(turning 8 in June). It was a perfect fit for both of them academically. After 6 years of hsing, I have finally found what I was looking for in a curriculum and love HOD!

Here's what's becoming apparent in combining though - my younger girl is passing my boy in many ways(she's a natural speller, cursive is coming naturally and is fun for her, notebooking and writing isn't a chore, reading quicker, finding verses in her Bible quicker than he is, etc). And he's starting to really get a complex about it(ex. not wanting to answer questions, really frustrated when he gets a spelling word wrong and she doesn't, etc). I need some advice about how to minister to his heart, and wondering if I need to "uncombine" them though I don't know how I would do that since she's more advanced than he is. Anyone btdt who can give me some direction?

I can relate to your dilemma. We will be starting in June with three guides for three children and a big part of separating them all from each other was to avoid the competition that was very clear between my 6yo dd and my 7yo ds. She is advancing quicker than he is but my husband and I felt it was best to hold her a level below him because his confidence needs to be built.

I know you'll have a tougher time splitting them since they've already completed a guide together. Hopefully there will be others who have already been through such a challenge that can offer their wisdom, in the meantime I will be praying that the Lord will guide you in the direction you need to go for your family's peace and well-being. Strong sibling relationships are so important.

It still saves time for me to combine, even in this situation. You can still do the reading, teacher-led portions, etc. together and then meet with them separately for discussion. You can still give spelling words or dictation at the same time, just grade them separately, in separate rooms if necessary. If they work at stations just a little apart they will not be comparing work. You still get to work with one guide and one set of books and meet everyone's needs. I would also have a personal discussion with the quicker child addressing keeping one's progress to oneself if there is any tendency that leads to a problem in that area. We also talked about how God gifts all children differently and how we cannot all be the best at everything. Pointing out the things that each child was gifted by God in--peacemaking, kindness, helpfulness--not just academics--also helped. My younger son was passing my older son in math so he was not allowed to tell what lesson he was on. It alleviated the problem. It took a while, but no one asks now. Every family is different, but this helps keep one guide (for the three middle children) feasible at our home.

Wow! Both leimarie and 8arrows offered some sage advice here! Leimarie made such a good point about not advancing the younger ahead of the older, even if she is ready for it. I think that would be crushing to your older ds. Her words here ring so true...
...a big part of separating them all from each other was to avoid the competition that was very clear between my 6yo dd and my 7yo ds. She is advancing quicker than he is but my husband and I felt it was best to hold her a level below him because his confidence needs to be built...

As both of your dc were accurately placed this year and it went well, I think totally doing separate guides with them probably won't fit their placement. As I was reading 8arrows' post, I think that there are some real gems of wisdom in these words...
...You can still do the reading, teacher-led portions, etc. together and then meet with them separately for discussion. You can still give spelling words or dictation at the same time, just grade them separately, in separate rooms if necessary. If they work at stations just a little apart they will not be comparing work. You still get to work with one guide and one set of books and meet everyone's needs. I would also have a personal discussion with the quicker child addressing keeping one's progress to oneself if there is any tendency that leads to a problem in that area. We also talked about how God gifts all children differently and how we cannot all be the best at everything. Pointing out the things that each child was gifted by God in--peacemaking, kindness, helpfulness--not just academics--also helped. My younger son was passing my older son in math so he was not allowed to tell what lesson he was on...

These practical ideas seem like they offer the best of both worlds. You are combining for your teacher-led parts, but really uncombining for the discussions, individual LA skills, individual math skills, etc. I can vouch for separate work areas reducing competition. We have our oldest ds's primary work area for seatwork be at the dining room table, and our middle ds's primary work area for seatwork to be at the kitchen table. Only 10 feet separates them, but it has made a world of difference in their work habits. My oldest ds was actually telling my middle ds the answers for things before he had even attempted them on his own, as well as shouting out answers from the dining room table to my discussion questions with my middle ds on the couch. We had a talk about this being arrogant and not helpful. Things have improved. You can incorporate different colored beads for discussions with both of them, which is a CM method explained at this link...
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=8160&p=59469

But for Biblical discussions, I'd do those separately as they are so personal in nature. HTH!
In Christ,
Julie

Jennifer,

Since they just came out of a guide together and seem well-placed skill-wise, I would lean toward continuing with them together in the same guide and just separating them for the 3R's and any heart discussions. In this way you will actually be separating them more than you have been, which will help some with comparisons. Also, the ladies shared excellent advice on how to address the concerns you shared. This will give you the best of both worlds.

Blessings,
Carrie