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Hello Fellow HOD Friends,

I have a really small, but nonethesless, important dilemma. As some of you know, we just moved for the second time across country in less than 9 months. We are now back in TX, living with my sister until we, Lord-willing, close on our new home 2 Jun. In the meantime, Evan (5.5) and I have quite a bit of downtime and NO structure. This is coming from a pretty well-structured home. Actually the past almost year has been chaos. As most of you know too, Ethan (our 7 year old son) tragically died almost a year ago--the one year anniversary is 5 Jun.

I see a lot of challenging behavior with Evan, and rightfully so, him losing his very best friend in the world. Evan was so used to structure and homescool days with his brother. Now it's just boring 'ol me.

Now here's my question, and I apologize for the novel. Should I just go ahead and start LHFHG? We have the box, and little man seems utterly bored and asks for school work. A huge part of me wants to start. The other part of me says wait and just start after we move and somewhat settle into our new home. With that scenario, we would start around the middle of June to early July. I am really torn between the two options.

Thank you all for listening!!

Shannon - I say go for it! It sounds like just the little perk in the day that you both need. You can always make your re-start special by celebrating somehow once you're settled in your new home, too. We've wrapped up some school supplies or something extra that's educational like a book or leap frog DVD for the little ones on our "1st day of school". My kids think it's great! An we all pose for a picture. If I were you, though, I'd just dive in to LHFHG. You'll love it!

Kathleen

ForHisGlory, If you think that your ds is ready I would just start. Later when you are settling in you can just take time off as needed. Who knows you may actually want to continue LHFHG during the transition in order to provide some stability and continuity to your days. I know that in our home we look at school as a break from the other tasks/issues that surround us. Praying for you and your family as you settle in.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with the previous two posters: Go for it. That extra one-on-one time could be a huge blessing for both of you.

Shannon,
I think, if your son is anxious to start, go ahead. If you get going and it is just too much with the move, slow down to half speed until the move is complete. Maybe He really needs the structure and a routine after everything. God Bless you.

Shannon -I would startif you are able to do so.I have little ones who thrive on routine and its amazing how much calmer everything feels when we stick to our routine.I will keep your family in my prayers as we approach June[hugs]

Shannon,
Although we haven't had the heart-wrenching changes you've endured, we've had our fair share of moves this year (6 locations, 2 states, and 3 countries). I can honestly say that a rhythm was helpful for us, but doing a set curriculum during major life changes, I knew would just try my patience too much. We put our HOD aside for a short time and "did" math with my 6 year old by learning skip counting (2s, 3s, 4s, & 5s) for a couple of months, we "did" social studies by experiencing our location (eating at different places, talking about the weather, the animals in the new places, etc.), we did science at the parks by looking at trees and birds, and we had a set time every day to read library books (because my school books were either packed or we were gone). As you can tell, I became queen of simple field trips (art museums and zoos were also on the top of our to-do's). We also kept a journal (she drew, I wrote a little sentence) about something a few times a week. She helped me cook, clean, and we talked a lot more than we would have if I was trying to accomplish school. Pray about what would be easiest for you right now, it might be doing a set curriculum but it also might be pool time, making chocolate chip cookies, drawing words in the dirt or sand, and doing a daily Bible time. There is nothing better for relationship building than sitting on the couch reading books. We read the series of My Father's Dragon (which isn't scheduled in HOD so you'll be safe to read it) during our moves and I think it single handedly instilled a love for chapter books in my young 6 year old. God will guide you and I will be praying for your family.
Amy

I appreciate everyone's wondferful opinions and suggestions! I truly value everyone's opinion, and you ladies have such valid points and suggestions.

Part of me just wants to dive in on Monday, but I think if anything, we may just go half speed. The biggest issue is no set structure as we have always had in our lives. That's my fault. I'm just not "feeling it" at the moment with too many major life changes in less than a year. But I know with the Lord, I can do anything!

Thanks again!

Also, if anyone would like to be a prayer warrior for us--as we come upon the one year anniversary of Ethan passing away, and moving to a new home--please do pray. I am having a very difficult time, and I know Evan and my husband struggle too. I feel as though the wound has been re-opened as we approach the one year mark. SIGH

Dear Shannon,

I vote for starting as well. Your precious son would have something fun to do, and it would give you a little bit of structure that you can carry with you wherever you go. Assuming you're up for it, but I think you will find it enjoyable.

Lifting up prayers for you and your family...

Shannon - I will gladly be a prayer warrior for you and your family. You have been such a beacon of light on this board with your Christlike demeanor. I will be praying, and the Lord is an excellent listener. He knows your every need and will provide. He is a God of love and compassion, and He will be by your side through this time.

I am thinking that it would be a very good time for a new start with LHFHG, but I agree starting half-speed would be good. I think you'll be able to tell then if it is a good idea to go full-speed, half-speed, or take a break. I also think it may be a good time to set up some type of structure to the day, as you have identified that was a good thing, and it is something you feel you are missing now.

LHFHG half-speed each day will provide some routine, but I wonder if it would be a good idea to add to that by choosing something special each day for the 2 of you to just enjoy? For example, Mondays could be pizza and a movie day. I have found when my dh is gone I like to do this with my dc. We have seen some excellent movies together - "Facing the Giants", "National Treasure", "October Sky", "Iron Will", "Tangled" to name a few. We have to look hard for kid-safe movies, and there are a few things to discuss along the way, but this is something we have learned to love to do. Maybe Tuesdays could be cooking days? My dc love to cook with me, and I bet your sis' would love to be surprised by this. You could make it super simple or go all out - but the fun could be in choosing what to make from recipe books and shopping for things for the meal together. You could have a theme too - like Mexican food, Italian food, etc. Wednesdays could be outdoors days - maybe you could ride bikes through the park together and have a picnic lunch? Thursdays could be an encourage others day. Maybe you could write cards to someone, or bring someone a treat or give someone a call. Fridays could be eat lunch out at a different restaurant each time? Or hot cocoa at Barnes and Noble with some reading time? Or an outing to the zoo? I'm not sure if any of this would work, but I have been trying to do some things like this and have enjoyed it. I find I often feel tired and over-stretched like I can't do these things, but then find once I am doing them, I feel more refreshed and happier. I hope something here can help, but if not, just totally disregard this. I will be praying for you.

Love in Christ,
Julie

A friend of mine lost her husband and son in an accident about 3 years ago. She became a single mother of her surviving 2 young boys. That first year she told me was so much of going through the motions and just getting by. In addition, her oldest son spent that first year recovering physically from the accident. Each year she has become stronger and is making her way. And, her two boys are as well.

I remember at the 1 year anniversary, she planned an outing with her two sons to somewhere that her deceased child loved to go. They went there and "talked" to their brother/son. It was a good memory for her boys and they felt close to their brother.

She also writes a letter to him on the anniversary of his passing to tell him all the things she misses about him, but also to tell him all the things she is doing and loving about life. I know this is a huge therapeutic thing for her and helps her to say all the things she needs to tell someone.

I pray that you feel God's arms wrapped around you and your son and husband during this time as you do approach June 5.

Blessings.
Deb

Julie,

I thank you for your reply. I by no means want to disregard anything that you wrote! Your ideas and insights were very helpful, and I think that doing something special on certain days of the week is a fabulous idea. You have been a huge help! And I am so thank for your prayers, and all of the other ladies on here.

Much love,
Shannon

faithful2him wrote:A friend of mine lost her husband and son in an accident about 3 years ago. She became a single mother of her surviving 2 young boys. That first year she told me was so much of going through the motions and just getting by. In addition,

I remember at the 1 year anniversary, she planned an outing with her two sons to somewhere that her deceased child loved to go. They went there and "talked" to their brother/son. It was a good memory for her boys and they felt close to their brother.

She also writes a letter to him on the anniversary of his passing to tell him all the things she misses about him, but also to tell him all the things she is doing and loving about life. I know this is a huge therapeutic thing for her and helps her to say all the things she needs to tell someone.

Deb

Deb,

I truly appreciate you sharing your friend's experience. Those are wonderful ideas, and I teared up while reading them. I am truly sorry for your friend's loss...how tragic. Please let your friend know that her ideas are so helpful to me, and my heart goes out to her. Again, thank you so much for sharing!

Much love,
Shannon

Dear Sisters-in-Christ,

Just wanted to update. Evan and I started LHFHG two weeks ago! WOW, what a difference I see in Evan. His attitude and behavior has improved so much. We have some structure back, which is a huge blessing. While starting up school doesn't replace what we miss (Ethan), it does give us something productive to do, AND a way to spend time with the Lord while enjoying some good time together!

Now I just need to remind myself that it's okay to stop and have fun and take many fieldtrips and have those special days (as Julie, my3sons) suggested!

Thanks for the update! It's great to hear that things are going well. (I know I haven't posted in your threads before, but I have been reading here a lot and only recently started posting more.)