Is this a good oral narration?
Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 11:59 am
I'm still pretty new to narration, so I was wondering if you could let me know how this looks to you. This is an oral narration with both my 9 and 6 year old contributing after we read Paddington today (great book, by the way! 
). (I helped a bit with flow, but it's pretty much them...) Is there anything we should be doing differently? Is this the general idea?
Thanks!
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Paddington was going to the theater with Mr. and Mrs. Brown and their children. When they got there Paddington, realized he would have to pay to leave his duffle coat and suitcase in the cloakroom, so he took them with him. When he got to his seat, he stood up to take off his coat. Accidentally, he knocked his marmalade jar and sandwiches onto someone’s head. Paddington was looking for his marmalade, so he leaned over the edge of the box. There he saw a man shaking his fist up at them and a lot of arguments. Paddington saw that opera glasses were twenty pence. He thought he could buy them for that amount, but Judy said that you rented them for that amount. The play had just begun and Paddington shouted, “What?” Many in the audience told him to hush. Paddington watched the play and he really didn’t understand it. He thought that the man was really sending his daughter out into the world with no money.
When the first act was finished, Paddington asked Mrs. Brown if he could take a walk. Mrs. Brown said “yes” with some worry. He went to a place where he was not supposed to be: backstage. He walked in and saw lots of ropes and things hanging from the ceiling. He asked the stagehand where the main actor was. He said he was in the changing room. The stagehand noticed who he really was and said that he wasn’t supposed to be in there. Paddington knocked on the dressing room door and there was no answer, so Paddington just went in (which wasn’t a good idea). He noticed that there was a man lying on the couch. The man on the couch said he didn’t want to give Paddington his autograph. Paddington said that he didn’t want the man’s autograph. Then Paddington said, “You should take your daughter back!”
). (I helped a bit with flow, but it's pretty much them...) Is there anything we should be doing differently? Is this the general idea?Thanks!
********
Paddington was going to the theater with Mr. and Mrs. Brown and their children. When they got there Paddington, realized he would have to pay to leave his duffle coat and suitcase in the cloakroom, so he took them with him. When he got to his seat, he stood up to take off his coat. Accidentally, he knocked his marmalade jar and sandwiches onto someone’s head. Paddington was looking for his marmalade, so he leaned over the edge of the box. There he saw a man shaking his fist up at them and a lot of arguments. Paddington saw that opera glasses were twenty pence. He thought he could buy them for that amount, but Judy said that you rented them for that amount. The play had just begun and Paddington shouted, “What?” Many in the audience told him to hush. Paddington watched the play and he really didn’t understand it. He thought that the man was really sending his daughter out into the world with no money.
When the first act was finished, Paddington asked Mrs. Brown if he could take a walk. Mrs. Brown said “yes” with some worry. He went to a place where he was not supposed to be: backstage. He walked in and saw lots of ropes and things hanging from the ceiling. He asked the stagehand where the main actor was. He said he was in the changing room. The stagehand noticed who he really was and said that he wasn’t supposed to be in there. Paddington knocked on the dressing room door and there was no answer, so Paddington just went in (which wasn’t a good idea). He noticed that there was a man lying on the couch. The man on the couch said he didn’t want to give Paddington his autograph. Paddington said that he didn’t want the man’s autograph. Then Paddington said, “You should take your daughter back!”
