heartofdakota.com

Ladies,

I have hesitated to write this post for weeks ... but I am going to. Perhaps the Lord is compelling me to now! HOD mirrors what we want academically for our children and presents a wonderful plan for guiding the kiddos spiritually. I think Carrie's gifts and abilities are quite evident within the guides. I absolutely LOVE what I see....the strong skill PROGRESSION is very important to me which is why keeping my children within appropriate guides is key (in my heart and mind). I threw out all of my other plans and went full steam ahead preparing to begin HOD....and I just couldn't do it. I've postponed our start date for weeks because every time I approach "starting" I feel the sadness at seeing my children have to separate for their studies over the years. Now, keep in mind that my oldest three children have 3.5 years exactly between Kid #1 and Kid #3. Right now, that is a good spread developmentally and separating these kiddos into differing guides would be GREAT (and they're young enough that they could easily listen in to one another, engage in science & art projects amongst guides, etc.). HOWEVER, in about two years when my daughter is a 2nd grader (though a VERY YOUNG one), next son is 3rd grade, and my oldest is in 5th grade I honestly think I will MISS the multi-teaching aspect with this tight group. That will be the time when my oldest son is working largely independently (in CTC or RTR depending on our pace) and out of necessity (for completing his work and remaining on task) he'll no longer have the freedom to move around amongst the other kids. He has to work his guide . The other kiddos will be at Bigger at that point ... that's busy. I also see, and believe pretty firmly at this point, my daughter needing to break away from her brother and slow down to half speed for Bigger. I DO NOT want to put her in Preparing until she is 9. That is a personal "conviction" at this point but one that I feel strongly about based on my academic goals & pacing for my kids. So, in about two years my 3 kiddos will all be working separately from one another.... sniff sniff

...This has torn my heart in half. Literally. I have agonized day and night in prayer, in relentless discussion with my dear husband, in asking ??s on another forum, in evaluating goals for our family. I am quite honestly feeling completely STUCK. I don't want to "try" HOD ...I want to USE it. But, I think that in the process of preparing to use it a STRONG priority to study TOGETHER has surfaced. It took me quite by surprise and drove me to spinning our wheels for the past few weeks. I would not feel this way if my kids were more spread out (or so squished together that they could all study in one guide and be appropriately challenged). As it is my baby will be easy because he CAN study HOD at his pace with no worries about combining. He is too far removed age wise to consider in the combining/not combining area. I think he will be my HOD kiddo for sure and I have his curriculum already purchased for his first 5 years of school!!!

I'm not even sure if I have a question. HOD being as excellent as it is is not in question. But, the very real decision before us is that we may have to decide NOT to use HOD because we NEED (out of conviction) to keep our oldest 3 on the same page as much as possible.....

If you have faced this challenge in your home and chose to stay with HOD over the years will you share with me? Of course, the mind of man plans his way but it is the LORD who directs our steps!! Oy! We walk by faith and not by sight....either decision is a step out in faith. However, I NEED to make a decision and I'd like to make one that I can stay with and settle in with. Starting HOD and then having to quit after two years so we can combine just doesn't sound good to me. I would grieve it all even more after having tasted of USING HOD....I'd rather NOT start on the HOD path if I will have to step off out of necessity.

I really hated to write this post....HOD is just really how I want to school my children but day to day to day I can SEE my kids NOT wanting to separate from one another because they're pretty close now. They LOVE learning together and I LOVE the group feel that we've had. I keep thinking that we won't be able to have that with HOD because, as I wrote above, within two years I'll likely have the kids in 3 separate places/guides.

Thanks so much for listening and for pondering with me. I have LOVED this forum and have learned so much. So many wise Moms here. HOD has already been a blessing and we've only implemented Little Hands to Heaven .

HOD is written to be used with multi-ages, so it can fit your family as well as any other multi-age program. The fact is when you combine you are choosing a more general placement rather than specific placements for each child, whether you use HOD or something else. If you want to combine for sure, if that is the desire of your heart, and it is an important goal that you have now realized, then let's just go back to the drawing board and choose a placement that fits that desire. I do think it is hard to judge whether separate placement would have worked without trying it, but if in thinking of beginning your desire to combine has made itself more known, then you have several good options. One option would be to do LHFHG with your 5 and 7 yo, and Bigger Hearts with your 8 yo, and then the following year combine them in Beyond Little Hearts. Your ds would potentially repeat Bigger Hearts then after doing Beyond, but with the extensions. Or, if you want to combine them now, you could do so in LHFHG or Beyond, beefing up or tweaking down accordingly. I hope something here helps.

In Christ,
Julie

Bless you Katrina. I just left a post for you on the other forum.

Because my kids are so far apart, combining is not an option, but there are times I really wish we had that "learning together" feel to our homeschool. I also completely agree with you that HOD is THE best curriculum out there! I can feel your anguish over this coming right through your post. I do think there are several ways that you can fulfill that desire to school together and get all the benefits of HOD. Like the pp mentioned, there are some creative ways to combine that may work for you. I do know, though, that having your dc exactly at the best level for each one is a wonderful benefit. No tweaking, no attempt to beef up, not little one always tagging along, no bored older one.......and on and on.

I think you could achieve the beauty of each child in his/her best place AND that learning together feeling for which you are longing. Even though my kids are so far apart, I have started doing these things more this year. It is hard for me because we are bound to a ps schedule because dh is a teacher, and we have quite a few outside activities. BUT, if I were you I would consider a year-round relaxed school approach. I would use each child's separate program 3-4 days per week and do some wonderful combination learning on the off days. Things my children love to do together is learn about an artist by studying the art, reading stories about the artist, and practicing the techniques themselves. There are many great ways to do a simple artist study. We listen to a special composer for the year and color pages of the composer. The most fun we have is with nature study. My kids love to go outside on walks or on nature field trips. They work very hard on their drawings and are very proud of them. Fun, educational field trips are wonderful ways to learn together. You could even call Fridays, "Family Learning Day." Baking together or a fun art project are other things you can do together. There are so many ideas that you may come up with as you begin to think this way. Share a special family story book each evening, etc. Plus, with this plan, you get to spend your precious little time planning wonderful additions to an already wonderfully, well-planned for you core curriculum. So much mommy time can get dumped into trying to make one program work for each child. Here, the basics plus a lot are done for you. You get to have the big fun of planning the big fun!

I definitely think you can get creative and put together a simple plan using your vision AND your desire to use HOD to formulate a wonderful combination.
hth,
Laura

Katrina,
First off, (((HUGS))) and praying for you. I have some thoughts I guess. What drew you to HOD in the first place? Were you completely happy with what you were previously using? If so, then what caused you to look at HOD? Maybe these answers aren't important but they seem to be to me.

I know you've had a struggle for awhile now deciding things. I guess I'm wondering if you have peace about using HOD, but then you're so worried about the future. I mean this kindly, but if the above is the truth, then you have to follow the Lord's leading and then "take no thought for tomorrow." KWIM? Things can change in life in an instant. No matter how much we want everything planned out, we can't always see down the road what the Lord wants for us. What you can do now is obey His voice NOW and know that He is faithful to guide you in the future. Just keep your eyes on Him. If He tells us something/gives peace, we will never obey if we're worried about knowing every little detail of the future.

My post my be way off base here and not even applicable to you. If so, just please disregard it.

Oh, and I think Imercon (Laura) had some wonderful ideas!!!

I had another thought about having children placed where they work better individually(while hanging laudry and praying for you ). I'll try and explain as best as possible. I'm not so good with words. There's a big push to combine as a family and yes the family is important. God definitely deals with individuals as well. Where I'm at in life, is a different place than you, my dh, my in-laws. God doesn't try to lump us all together and teach us all the same things at the same time. He sees what I need, what you need, what dh nees, etc. He meets us right where we are at with what we need to learn. This causes growth in us. Now that doesn't mean that you, dh, my in-laws, and I can't have fellowship and do certain things together, but it means we're getting our individual needs met. I hope it makes sense and again, it may not be applicable to you. You have to have peace that only He can give. Praying for you.

Ladies,

Thanks for the kind words, well wishes and PRAYER! Thanks for understanding too.....I was concerned about being negative toward HOD which I'm not at all. I love it. I have studied it seriously for months, read CM's writings, pored over multiple threads where Carrie explains whys, progressions, etc. I WANT HOD....and the togetherness thing.

Laura, your ideas are really good and worth thinking over. I have the afternoon off (DD is 5 today, we met Daddy for lunch, it's raining outside, so we're just laying low for the afternoon...no chores or cooking needed.) to pray, write, whatever! I'll probably write...that helps me to think. And pray over what I write...

Edwena, your counsel and insight is MOST welcome. Yes, I AM fearing for the future somewhat and I do believe that it is TRUE that God illuminated HOD for us (that sounds hokey but hopefully you catch my meaning....). I kept coming back to HOD....reading, thinking, etc. One day it all clicked!!! I could SEEEEEEEEE in a big way how amazing the guides are. I kept walking around the house exclaiming to my husband, "She's brilliant! These guides are brilliant! I see it now. I couldn't see it before! But, I see it now!" And on and on and on.....

This may boil down to entrusting the next two years (my HOD trial) to the Lord and not worrying about the future.......

Ladies, I really think the right thing is to press on and begin on Monday without fear. Just do it! I'm practically 100% prepped already....Will pray some more today while I enjoy my cuppa. I welcome some practical ideas though for facilitating family togetherness and learning throughout the weeks. I LOVE Laura's ideas and will investigate how I may fold that in.

abrightmom wrote:Ladies,

Thanks for the kind words, well wishes and PRAYER! Thanks for understanding too.....I was concerned about being negative toward HOD which I'm not at all. I love it. I have studied it seriously for months, read CM's writings, pored over multiple threads where Carrie explains whys, progressions, etc. I WANT HOD....and the togetherness thing..

It didn't sound negative at all. I'm actually glad that you asked here. Isn't that what this forum is for? To get help to use HOD successfully in your own family? Actually if everyone was reading over at the other forum as well, they could see that you've really studied HOD out. May I go as far as say, that you've explained it so well and the beauty of it that other moms who are on the other forum will definitely be buying HOD. Still praying for wisdom and peace for you.

I can't wait to hear how it goes! I've been following this discussion because it mirrors my own internal battle so much!

I have also thought much on this topic.

Here is my personal opinion...
HOD is one of the best curriculum choices out there to meet our childrens needs personally. Individually with HOD, you can satisfy that nagging that one (or more) child(ren) are not getting one on one attention. Togetherness is easy!! It is meeting each child where they are at that is the tough thing to do! As children get older it is important for us to allow them to begin to walk on their own...it isn't easy. HOD helps them to slowly transition into a personal responsibility, yet you still have wonderful discussions built in!

Many times, I believe, the reason we have a nagging about togetherness is because there is no family prayer. It fills that need in my heart. Whether it is with my husband leading it or just the kids and I, reading one chapter in the Bible each day and praying with my children really satisfies that desire.

Hope that helps a lil bit.
((Hugs))
Mercy

Ladies,

God is so kind and patient toward us......I am humbled......Here's the post I just shared elsewhere:
Ladies,

It's been maybe 10 minutes since my last post but it's decided. I will begin HOD as planned and not "dig up in doubt what has been planted in faith". Our (my sweet DH and I) decision to shift to HOD was made thoughtfully, prayerfully, and purposefully over time (a few months of agony, really). The real deep down issue is FEAR....over the future. Well, we all know that the future belongs to God. Birchbark, you are right (and so is everybody else). Here is the Bible verse that I've pasted into the inside cover of my planning binder: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21.

I AM fearful.....afraid of regret, afraid of loving HOD and having to leave, afraid of failing by not managing my days well, afraid of placing my kids in the wrong guide, etc. It's silly of me to think that the right curriculum will erase those fears. The fears are there because, well, I'm human and because trusting God's leading is proving difficult for me. Trust means I step out when I can't see what's in front of me because I believe that the One who is guiding my paths is trustworthy. Sheesh. If it wasn't like that it wouldn't be trust now would it. We walk by faith (in One who is so faithful) and not by sight. My flesh wants guarantees, in writing, that this home schooling thing is going to pan out; that I'm not going to ruin my kids. Well, *I* will ruin my kids if I'm depending on me or my "right decisions". It's by God's grace that any good will be wrought in their hearts & lives. And what good is brought about is for His glory... God is using this journey to refine me...an added, though painful, bonus!

So ladies, there it is. We ARE going to begin our HOD journey. I don't need any more information. I have all that I need and then some. What I NEED is to spend more time with the Lord day to day, throw my apron over my face and pray when things start to go looney (thinking of Susanna Wesley here), ask God for "3 students, 2 guides, and 1 toddler" grace, one day at a time!!!

Bless you all for your kindness, direct words (I love them ), well wishes, and prayer.

Thanks for listening and pondering with me over several questions and issues these past months. We will begin on Monday. No giving in to fear this time. I am committed, unless the Lord makes it plain otherwise in the future, to stay with our decision to give HOD two years (teaching through four guides during that time). It is so anti-climactic!!! I'm pumped and now I'm going to prep. my son's binder (his timeline is already done) and copywork for my 7 year old.

Katrina,

Here's a thought. You could combine the 6 and 8 year old in Beyond (age range for guide is 6-8), and then your five year old could do LHTH this year. By doing that, all of your children will be mainly learning together at least this coming year. (LHTH doesn't take long at all to go through with them). The following year, your youngest could do LHFHG at full or half-speed, whatever he is ready for at that time. You will most likely need to always do 2 guides. I combine my sons but my daughter is 4. She will always be in a lower guide too. Yet, she sits on a blanket and colors, draws, etc, while I am doing the Beyond left side of the page every day! I plan on having her do this at least next year and probably the following one as well. She always wants to answer questions, etc! And she listens to the stories too.

You can also have them all sit in one central location together (like a school room or library area, a big kitchen table, or a couch) and do their work quietly together. This fosters togetherness too. Also, at breakfast, we have a morning devotion together and all pray together, etc.

There is ALWAYS a way for a family to draw close to one another. Nature walks, field trips, outings, playing outside together, story-times at bedtime could all be combined. Also family prayer, as someone suggested. All wonderful and uniting things for a family.

You might also consider that as they get older, they may enjoy being able to each learn a little something differently from one another, and you could schedule a time at the end of the day or at dinner time with Dad that is a time for each child to share what he/she is learning about. If your oldest uses extensions with a guide, such as Bigger, she will have extra things to talk about too. I REALLY think that HOD fosters family unity even if all the children aren't in the same guides all the way through. It will be MUCH more work for you, as the Mom, if you have to use a curriculum that you have to plan out in detail so that all of your children get all they need.

I believe the Spirit led you to HOD, and you will be blessed even if you use 2 or more guides. But I do think it is very feasible to only use 2. I hope this helps you!

Katrina - thanks for sharing your thoughts here! I can understand that struggle you are sharing. The way you shared it was gracious and open, and I have a great respect for you and the manner in which you share things here. It is a big decision just to homeschool our dc, and then it is a very tall order to decide how best to go about doing that. I am sorry if my post was short and to the point - rereading it, it seems that way to me. I sometimes try to insulate myself from the hurt of helping ladies and then having other things said on other boards that, well, hurt. I don't often read other boards, but from time to time I do to help with research. Anyway, enough of that, and I pray for you to have a wonderful start with HOD this year! May the Lord give you peace in your decision and richly bless your homeschooling!

In Christ,
Julie

my3sons wrote:Katrina - thanks for sharing your thoughts here! I can understand that struggle you are sharing. The way you shared it was gracious and open, and I have a great respect for you and the manner in which you share things here. It is a big decision just to homeschool our dc, and then it is a very tall order to decide how best to go about doing that. I am sorry if my post was short and to the point - rereading it, it seems that way to me. I sometimes try to insulate myself from the hurt of helping ladies and then having other things said on other boards that, well, hurt. I don't often read other boards, but from time to time I do to help with research. Anyway, enough of that, and I pray for you to have a wonderful start with HOD this year! May the Lord give you peace in your decision and richly bless your homeschooling!

In Christ,
Julie

Julie,

You are so kind and your post was fine! But it's good of you to remain sensitive to the promptings in your heart. I hear you on the "other boards" thing....I have really tried to remain consistent on both boards that I frequent. Quite honestly, all of my agonizing has driven many Mamas to want to use HOD ...I have been able to sing its praises in very tangible ways.

In private messages I've rec'd great encouragement from Moms who have found GREAT blessing in their families in keeping the kiddos in the guides that are right for them. Moms have encouraged me and shared testimonies of how, quite unexpectedly, their social kiddo blossomed with his independent work!!! I just needed to hear that..... and I've been reminded by many other wise women to trust the Lord with the decision. It wasn't made emotionally or quickly. I just let my fear take over for a few weeks.... and now I'm "taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ".

Thanks for your understanding and patience and grace! We are beginning on Monday and I'm writing out spelling words on 3x5 cards this afternoon (while listening to a 5 year old girl prattle on and on about this and that )

Katrina,
I am happy for you that you have decided to start. Your posts touched my heart because those fears are probably part of every homeschooler's journey. I know they have been part of mine. I can tell you I switched plans and curricula many times over the years, but by the grace of God, I did not ruin my kids I taught my oldest two through grade 8, and now my ds is a college man, and firmly grounded in his faith, active in church, and singing lead in a Christian band. My 15 year old dd has returned home from ps to finish high school online, and also has a great love for the Lord, and a desire to use her gifts for His glory. My youngest two had to go to ps for a short time, but I have them home again, and HOD is giving me the confidence to teach them through high school. I see the good effects of having them home already
No matter how we school our kids, we parents make all kinds of mistakes, not just in schooling, but in parenting. But it is our relationship with Christ and our raising of our children in this faith that matters for the future, and it is His grace that keeps them. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Your desire to give them the best is what being a good mom is all about, and as you take your steps of faith and obedience with the Lord, He will work it all out. "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." God bless you richly today!