Thank you so much for sharing about your ds here! That really does help us give better advice that is more tailor-fit for each student. The transition from ps to school can be a challenge, but it is worth it in the long run - you will have your ds's heart back. The teaching in HOD is so much more than academics - it has helped me build, work on, and maintain close relationships with each of our sons. Your ds is the same age as my oldest ds right now. I feel this is a crucial time for us with our sons - working on having a loving, positive relationship with our sons at this age is not always easy, but I do believe it is incredibly important - I honestly think without HOD I could "lose" him - lose his heart, and maybe not ever fully get it back. Due to our time within HOD, we have heartfelt talks that seem to fill this need beautifully. We still have our days where attitude runs amuck, but we can pray together and hug and reign it in.
I actually was an online tutor for around 100 students for Switched on Schoolhouse years ago for several years. I believe, because of the nature of the student being left alone with impersonal computer instruction only, the relationship between parents and dc just isn't as strong. I tried to be as personable as possible with my students online, but in no way could I have ever done as good of a job as their mothers could have.
From reading your post, I think that a key goal is for your ds to gain confidence in his independent work. HOD will teach him the skills necessary to gain independence - both academically and personally.

I agree with the advice given that "Preparing Hearts for His Glory" (PHFHG) would be an excellent place to start. This will teach him to gradually take over his reading, which in turn will free up time for you teach important skills incrementally, step-by-step guiding him to take over more and more skills until he is working confidently and successfully at a more independent level. Charlotte Mason (CM) advised dc should be reading their own school materials (that's including history, science, reading, poetry, etc.) by age 9, or as soon after that as possible. This is due to the fact that we remember better what we read rather than that which is read to us. As your ds gains skills in his reading by using "Drawn into the Heart of Reading" (DITHOR), he will naturally grow into wanting to do his own reading. This is as much a part of skill progression as it is of maturity.
PHFHG will be an excellent placement for several reasons. It has him taking over a portion of his history reading, but has you still reading the history spines. It has him taking over his science reading, but has you still reading his Storytime Read Alouds. HOD adheres to the CM short lesson method of teaching, which I have to say all of my sons appreciate with gusto!

Short, lively lessons with manageable bite-sized amounts of living book readings are followed with activities/discussions/experiments/written work that in turn is varied, kept to a short amount of time, while still being sure to show us if indeed our dc listened/read/worked attentively and understood what they did.

The books HOD chooses draw dc in - even dc who don't like reading. These books are living, breathing, narrative treasures - and dc can't help but become interested in "what is going to happen next"! This slowing down pace of books is done in order to "savor" books, to "sit with books" until they become more "like friends".

It will take some time, but your ds will definitely begin to come around to fully enjoying books and learning.
Your ds sounds like our 3 sons - they LOVE hands-on anything! God designed boys and men this way. HOD's author has 4 sons herself - so she understands this need well.

We have greatly appreciated that the hands-on is not dropped in the upper level HOD guides, as is the trend with many curriculums. Instead, the hands-on is kept, but is more mature, and is independent (which I greatly appreciate as does my ds). This part of your post rang true with me...
I would like for him to do more work independently, as that would be less friction between the two of us...
At this age, too much time with the mama seems to cause exactly what you are mentioning here... friction. I believe this is a natural part of our ds maturing and growing into young men. I was a born "hoverer". I like to hover over my sons as they work, and they liked this very much... when they were younger. Now, my oldest ds wants me to let him work on his own. When I hover too much, there is friction, and it hurts our relationship. Instead, I have decided to put my whole heart into my "T" teacher-directed teaching times in HOD, to give my ds roots. But I give minimal getting started only directions for the "S" semi-independent parts of the guide, and for the "I" independent parts of the guide, I let him fly solo, to give my ds wings.

What happy days we have since I've hung up my hovering habits!

You will see PHFHG has boxes in its plans labeled "T", "S", and "I" too. This will help your ds grow and mature, gradually taking on more independence with capability. While you will need to train your ds to use his PHFHG manual alongside you and for his "I" boxes independently, and while you will need to train your ds initially how to go about doing each box of plans (probably for 2-4 weeks or so), after that initial "hand-holding", the boxes activities will become familiar as they follow a rotation, and at that point, you will see him taking on more independence and more responsibility for his learning.
After a month, I have a goal for my dc to be doing all of their "I" boxes independently - meaning they get out their materials, read their directions in the "I" boxes, read their books in those boxes independently, follow the directions independently step-by-step, check one more time by reading through the whole box if they did all they were supposed to do, hand in their work on our counter when they are done, clean whatever needs to be cleaned up from those boxes independently, and finally putting a small checkmark in the corner of the box of the plans when they are done.

My ds takes immense satisfaction in doing this, and I have seen it carry over into other areas of life... independently following step-by-step directions to complete projects such as building erector sets, shoe shelves, and elaborate toys; as well as following recipes to bake, chore charts, etc. This is a life skill so worth attaining on so many levels!
In regard to the second part of what you said here...
...But I do want some involvement, because I enjoy learning with him...
I think that you would love your teaching parts in PHFHG! And it will be ENJOYABLE! I loved my teaching time in PHFHG (and always have with HOD). PHFHG will have you sharing in half of the history reading, teaching beginning creative writing in small chunks your ds will be successful with, sharing heart to heart talks within the Bible Study box, overseeing history projects that are fun and spread out in small chunks of time over 3 days each week (about 15 minutes a day), reading poetry for enjoyment, reading wonderful Storytime history-based books and having short follow-ups your ds is sure to enjoy, neat kickoffs and wrap-up genre projects in DITHOR - there is so much to LOVE in PHFHG!

And, it only took us about 3 to 3 1/2 hours each day (once we were in our rhythm) - and it's only 4 days a week. Very doable, yet solid academics that keep the fun going strong.
For your ds's LA and math, you could have him do R & S English 3 (as this will teach him diagramming), DITHOR Level 2/3 (to give him a year to grow into the writing), choose any level of DITHOR Book Pack he can read well (he is doing the reading for DITHOR), and for math, you can give him the free Singapore Math Placement test at:
http://www.singaporemath.com
Don't be surprised if he scores lower on his Singapore test. It's considered advanced, and lower scores are not uncommon. I'd begin with 3A and go from there for testing. Be sure not to help (even with the reading part) of the math test, as this inflates math scores and makes them be off. Well, what are you thinking if you are not too weary from having read this all?!? I hope something here has helped, and please keep asking questions until you are at peace and excited to begin. HOD is a lifeline to my dc's hearts, and it uses the Lord as its means to achieve this lifeline. I want that kind of homeschooling for every mom and child out there - it is just an incredibly amazing way to go about mothering our dc! HTH!
In Christ,
Julie